I don't remember that debate sorry. But yeah, this is not the thread for it. Cool.
I wasn't trying to open or defend the other side. Just thought I'd point out the anger part. Thinking it was relevant. Maybe it's just not.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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I don't remember that debate sorry. But yeah, this is not the thread for it. Cool.
That's where I am, which is why my body is subconsciously waking up later and later. Sleeping away my life!
Yeah... I am finding it harder to even wake up at 10 AM... I used to be able to get up at 7 and be in the lab by 8:30... This sucks.
Reading Dice's post really got to me. Damn it. I knew I should not have clicked on this thread so early in the morning! I'm 29. My quarter just ended. I stopped going to class 2 weeks before the quarter ended. I am for sure getting a failing grade in the class. You want to know what was my gpa before this class? 3.85 (out of 4.0). I lost the motivation. The career path I was pursuing just wasn't what I wante. I don't know what I want! Now I don't know what to do. I've been depressed for a long time about this, about not knowing what I'm doing in life.
are you actually still showing up this thursday ?
Necromanti
Member
Actually, I guess it is still up for debate whether "theology" refers specifically to "Christian theology" rather than something more general. (If it is specifically Christian, then it suddenly gets a lot less interesting.
) Hierology would work.scar tissue
Banned
Had an informal university event yesterday, thought I'd stop by since I knew a few people.
Somehow they were all busy, so I tried talking to girls (I didn't approach them, we were basically introduced).
Gave up after #2 looked at me like I had something contagious. WTF was I even thinking, me, talking to girls? :lol
Yeah, I'm never getting laid. EVER. Fuck social anxiety.
If I had a firearm, I'd be pretty much ready to pull the trigger.
Somehow they were all busy, so I tried talking to girls (I didn't approach them, we were basically introduced).
Gave up after #2 looked at me like I had something contagious. WTF was I even thinking, me, talking to girls? :lol
Yeah, I'm never getting laid. EVER. Fuck social anxiety.
If I had a firearm, I'd be pretty much ready to pull the trigger.
Had an informal university event yesterday, thought I'd stop by since I knew a few people.
Somehow they were all busy, so I tried talking to girls (I didn't approach them, we were basically introduced).
Gave up after #2 looked at me like I had something contagious. WTF was I even thinking, me, talking to girls? :lol
Yeah, I'm never getting laid. EVER. Fuck social anxiety.
If I had a firearm, I'd be pretty much ready to pull the trigger.
Did you try meeting girls in an environment where your social anxiety is minimal? E.g. You feel super comfortable doing x, so talk to girls while you do x?
Please don't give up on yourself just yet.
scar tissue
Banned
The only social environment I feel comfortable in is one where I know everyone really well (if I know a person well, their gender doesn't matter in terms of anxiety and stuff).
That obviously doesn't mesh with meeting new girls (I'm more quickly at ease talking to guys I know).
Maybe if I was at a party where I knew 10 people out of 11, and the 11th person was girl? :lol
But seriously, I'm done with girls.
Only chance might be with a chick who also has SA, and even that's doubtful.
Too bad the world won't actually end in 10 days.
Yeah and I'm pretty sure I'm going to want to sink in a hole and vanish while I'm there.
I find it easier to talk to outgoing girls
as someone with social anxiety, talking to someone that also has that issue is near impossible
Bingo. If the other person is talkative and can go on and on and on I feel fine. It means less conversation I have to come up with. But if both of us don't say a lot, things get awkward and uncomfortable... I had that situation happen a couple of Sundays ago. He was a man of few words, so I had to keep the conversation going. Needless to say, I was spilling my guts about all sorts of needless things to keep the silence away.
scar tissue
Banned
Well, if the girls had been really outgoing and willing to talk to me, I would've done fine. I normally don't have a problem if someone approaches me, it's me making the first move that's the problem.
Too bad making a move is what society expects of a guy.
Although I also find it rather easy to talk to a person who is shyer than me, because then I can take the lead. Funny how that works.
And I have plenty of experience talking to other folks (both male and female) with SA, due to various self-help groups. Never had a major problem there.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure that neither outgoing nor normal nor shy girls want a boyfriend with social anxiety. In my experience, shy girls are the best bet, but still not a particularly good one.
Once you find a girl willing to make the first move, don't you think you'd be able to overcome your social anxiety? That's how it was for me. I had terrible social anxiety until I was lucky enough to find a girl that made the first move. Everything was much less stressful after that.
There ARE girls like that out there, you shouldn't give up hope. You're putting yourself out there, that's already a big step ahead of where I was at/others are at. Same for you Wilson.
There will always be guys/girls out there who realize you're anxious, but who see past that and want to make you feel more comfortable.
Once you find a girl willing to make the first move, don't you think you'd be able to overcome your social anxiety? That's how it was for me. I had terrible social anxiety until I was lucky enough to find a girl that made the first move. Everything was much less stressful after that.
There ARE girls like that out there, you shouldn't give up hope. You're putting yourself out there, that's already a big step ahead of where I was at/others are at. Same for you Wilson.
There will always be guys/girls out there who realize you're anxious, but who see past that and want to make you feel more comfortable.
I've had 3 boyfriends who made the first move and my social anxiety is worse than ever.
I made the first move on my first boyfriend. The second boyfriend guilted me into the the first move.
Yeah... Social anxiety (with men) still way, way up there.
It might work for him though, who knows.
scar tissue
Banned
Sure, but since I have not seen a single glimpse of this elusive creature since I started being interested in girls (which was about 8 years ago), forgive me if I'm not exactly hopeful. I've met a few girls who saw past my anxiety and liked me as a person, but yeah, that's about it. Not one of them would consider having sex with me, much less actually dating. SA doesn't get them panties wet.Once you find a girl willing to make the first move, don't you think you'd be able to overcome your social anxiety? That's how it was for me. I had terrible social anxiety until I was lucky enough to find a girl that made the first move. Everything was much less stressful after that.
There ARE girls like that out there, you shouldn't give up hope. You're putting yourself out there, that's already a big step ahead of where I was at/others are at. Same for you Wilson.
There will always be guys/girls out there who realize you're anxious, but who see past that and want to make you feel more comfortable.
Pardon my ignorance, but what's SA? Also, that's the right start though. You're putting yourself out there, you've met some who liked you as a person, it's all about finding the right person. You're gonna get there. I understand why you'd feel hopeless though, it's one of those spirals where social anxiety = nervous around girls = less chance to meet girls = more anxiety = more nervous =.....
:/
well
im too sick to be in a social setting such as university so at least you have that
im also so fucked that I lost interest in sex entirely so thats the next step down from that
I wonder what comes next
Social Anxiety? I think
can be a symptom of depression so its not out of place here
Oh, I was under the impression it was an abbreviation for a job, I never made the SA = Social Anxiety connection, despite us talking about it the whole time -facepalm-
scar tissue
Banned
SA = social anxiety
Thanks for the kind words, dunno if someone else with a similar problem succeeding should make me feel glad ("There is hope!") or sad/mad ("Why him and not me?").
There really isn't much to envy here, I was barely functional at the event yesterday. University professors (=people whose opinion of me might decide about my career) and hot girls everywhere = anxiety going crazy
I probably shouldn't even have gone, I still feel tired and sad about it.
As for the sex drive, I've been getting urges to bone every female under 30 in the room for the last weeks. Better than your situation, but still not very fun, since there is no actual boning taking place.
you sound like me a few years ago
I would advise doing something drastic before you break and lose your humanity
scar tissue
Banned
Such as?
Not that there ever was any humanity in me. As I've said previously ITT: I'm basically a robot or alien trying to emulate human behavior by observing it.
"Hello fellow carbon based life-form. Is a hug appropriate in this social context or would you prefer a handshake?"
Do you also analyze every gesture that seems kind or unkind?
Most of the time peoples intentions are obviously dubious
you know, despite not being a virgin, ive also never hugged a person in my adult life
I find it incredibly awkward and always have since a young age
what is its purpose? seems like a primitive kind of bonding ritual
scar tissue
Banned
yeah, although I've gotten somewhat better at not overthinking stuff
or at least trying to force some positive counter-thoughts
oh and what kind of drastic measures would you recommend?
dunno, I guess it feels good? despite having had some trouble with the timing, i like hugs.
took me a long, long time to get the judgment right for when hug/handshake/kiss on cheeks is appropriate. now I pretty much have that down, but it's still pretty sad that I had to invest dozens of hours into something normal people do by instinct.
I do pretty much any social interaction on this observational basis. i just have no instinct for this. greeting people was especially hard: what is the appropriate distance for saying hello? do i go for a handshake, just say hi without any touching, or what?
what i'm really curious about (although i guess you probably wouldn't want to tell, and that's fine): how do you get laid if you haven't even hugged a person? seems kind of like winning a marathon despite not being able to walk down a flight of stairs
Gaf, right now I feel both, relieved but mad at myself (yeah, I know :/). I thought that I was really relapsing into my (deep) depression. I spent several weeks in the vicious circle of procrastination=> increased anxiety => more procrastination. I even felt hopelessness at a certain time.
However, I pulled through and finished what I needed to do. I even had fun while doing it. For several days, good ideas and solutions flowed from my head; working was as natural as breathing. And in the end I got recognition for my work. All worked right in the end, even thought I had to spent a couple of sleepless nights.
But I can't help bull fell guilty over the whole episode, thinking how much better things would have been had I worked on them over a longer (proper) period of time instead of just crunching over the last week. Looks like my tyrannical perfectionism will never leave me be.
However, I pulled through and finished what I needed to do. I even had fun while doing it. For several days, good ideas and solutions flowed from my head; working was as natural as breathing. And in the end I got recognition for my work. All worked right in the end, even thought I had to spent a couple of sleepless nights.
But I can't help bull fell guilty over the whole episode, thinking how much better things would have been had I worked on them over a longer (proper) period of time instead of just crunching over the last week. Looks like my tyrannical perfectionism will never leave me be.
If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be in this situation!
eh
I feel absolutely nothing
Alcohol
Had a talk with my father last night, he spent 30 minutes with a speech about how immensely disappointed he was in me, never heard him so sincere and frank in my entire life and appeared to be in a state of pain just describing his disappointment. That hurt as hell, I stood there listening to him with a lump in my throat the entire time but I wasn't sad or upset because I agree, I am a shitty son and a waste of life. No worries, 2013 is going to bring changes...
User 100115
Banned
Gaf, right now I feel both, relieved but mad at myself (yeah, I know :/). I thought that I was really relapsing into my (deep) depression. I spent several weeks in the vicious circle of procrastination=> increased anxiety => more procrastination. I even felt hopelessness at a certain time.
However, I pulled through and finished what I needed to do. I even had fun while doing it. For several days, good ideas and solutions flowed from my head; working was as natural as breathing. And in the end I got recognition for my work. All worked right in the end, even thought I had to spent a couple of sleepless nights.
But I can't help bull fell guilty over the whole episode, thinking how much better things would have been had I worked them over a longer period of time. Looks like my tyrannical perfectionism will never leave me be.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Crawling out of a depression hole is hard as shit, and you should be cheering yourself and reminding yourself how amazing you are that you did it, AND did something productive shortly after. Just remember that next time you have a horrible downswing, and hopefully you can dig your way out faster each time. Congratz!
You know, I don't care if someone deserves it or not, that is the shittiest thing a parent can do to a child. Go on and on about how disappointing they are.
My grandfather has done this to me so many times. I feel your pain...
I'm surprised he held it in for 25 years. I wish I had a gun so I could blow my brains out in front of him, maybe that would shut him up and regret every shitty decision he made.
My grandfather never held it in. All I had to do was one small thing and he would blow up at me...
My father on the other hand has never said one thing one way or another. He has said he was proud maybe a couple of times, but that is it.
Fuck your father. Take his terrible words and make them your strength to do better. Prove him wrong and become successful and hope he chokes on his damn disappointment.
scar tissue
Banned
Seriously. Corky, you should cut your father out of your life if he treats you like that.
Move on and never look back.
My parents tell me at least once a week that I'm a disappointment. They tell me the same things again and again and again, never caring if they make me feel bad. At first I was like you, I agreed with them; then it made me feel like shit, but right now I don't even care about what they say. I'm slowly starting to hate them.
I'm the same with my grandfather, really... It happened so much that I slowly began to tune it out... This was after I internalized it all, though.
I always assumed you were fine? I don't see how he could be severely disappointed in you unless you're a drug dealing high school dropout with a criminal record.
Nothing about me is fine :/
I don't know, I've failed everything I've done so I'm pretty much the definition of a failure and I sure as hell see where he is coming from.
Collete
Member
People think of failure as different things, academics and all that jazz.
I know parents think of me as one because of my academic choices.
However looking at what I consider a success or failure, I'm somewhat taking baby steps to a better life.
I guess point is, you have to look through your own lenses whether you think you're a failure or not.
I don't think you are considering you're still here and telling us about yourself. Much less still alive.
At some point I am going to have to come to the realization that I am going to be that old men that all of the guys say "ew" to when they are contacted by them. GayGAF has talked about this before how "old" guys contact them on Grindr and they get all freaked out.
I'm going to grow old alone and I am not going to have anyone to depend on...
*downs more wine*
I'm going to grow old alone and I am not going to have anyone to depend on...
*downs more wine*
amishpriest99
Member
Spoiler tagging in case no one wants to read a depressive rant.
I don't know or think anyone cares to hear the details, but right now I'm feeling about as depressed as ever. I've been dealing with depression/anxiety most of my life (32 years old) and right now am on Lexapro and Ativan (small dose as needed) to help control. At a loss for what do honestly.
You and me both, man(?). I'm hoping the new year has better times in store for me.
amishpriest99
Member
Yep to that question. I hope for the same too.
scar tissue
Banned
Funny, that never seems to work out for me. I was pretty close to getting laid a few times - so close I am 99% sure that all that was left to do was pulling her in for a kiss - but due to lack of initiative from my side, I ended up going home alone anyway.
I can't even make the first step when I'm drunk, that's how fucked up this shit is. And that's where the depression comes in again. Thinking about how I can't even get laid, let alone be in a relationship or be a normal, functioning human being.
If I'm gonna die alone anyway, sooner might be better than later.
Not going to do anything stupid just yet, but that's mostly due to masochism, I guess. Part of me enjoys the suffering in a sick way.
or you werent drunk enough!
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