Depression

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I know that feeling. Once I get motivated it's easy to get things done which makes me feel good but I always slip up and fall into this trap of procrastination, which leads to stress, which leads to depression...

Sigh.

I know. I try not to think what happens when the next low comes.
 
Is drowning sad feelings with sad music/film/literature healthy? What do you guys and gals think?

I spent the holidays with my brother and his family, he's probably my best friend since I don't have close friends outside family members, plus I love my nieces so much! I always have great time with him. But he moved to another country this year. :(

So, when I was on the plane back home I was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness and nostalgia. I have recently found out that drowning sad feelings with even sadder ones helps me with dealing with the first ones, but I'm not sure if throwing myself into an extreme sadness state is very healthy. I'm the type of person who cries when reading the bad news on the newspaper after all...
 
Is drowning sad feelings with sad music/film/literature healthy? What do you guys and gals think?

I spent the holidays with my brother and his family, he's probably my best friend since I don't have close friends outside family members, plus I love my nieces so much! I always have great time with him. But he moved to another country this year. :(

So, when I was on the plane back home I was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness and nostalgia. I have recently found out that drowning sad feelings with even sadder ones helps me with dealing with the first ones, but I'm not sure if throwing myself into an extreme sadness state is very healthy. I'm the type of person who cries when reading the bad news on the newspaper after all...

I dunno... I found listening to sad music brings me down further, but I don't want to listen to happy music when I am down. So, I just stay with the sad music...
 
I know that feeling.

I've come to realize my depression is entirely based on my self esteem. I have horrible self esteem and I feel pretty much worthless off and on. The only time I feel really good about myself is when someone of the opposite sex is showing me attention. If that person starts to ignore me or even just gets busy and I percieve it as her ignoring me I feel like shit.

I automatically want to hurt myself because that's what I would do as a teenager. The hardest part is I have no friends so I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not with the person I'm dating except look at my phone constantly to see if they called or sent me a text.

I tried to get together with my cousin yesterday to take my mind off of someone. We were best friends growing up but he just ignored my text so then I felt rejected by two people haha.

It can really make you despise people but I'm trying not to. I usually just reflect it back on myself which obviously doesn't help.

of course not everyone is a selfish prick
but the fact that I cant meet people that arent is enough for me to feel like everyone is
 
I don't think it'll transform into a "big" depression that can destroy a life but today I feel, and I guess for a few weeks I still will, depressed.
Today's the day my cat I had for 18 years and 7 months died. It's super painful to have seen her go away, and I think I'll cry when I go to bed tonight, to let those feelings out.

Makes me remember about my father who died 2 years ago also in December. And some other things that happened less than a decade ago on Xmas.

It's been a while that I hate the Holiday season, and it's surely not with this new god awful event that my mind's going to change.

Screw the year-end. And RIP, my cat. I won't forget you.
 
I don't think it'll transform into a "big" depression that can destroy a life but today I feel, and I guess for a few weeks I still will, depressed.
Today's the day my cat I had for 18 years and 7 months died. It's super painful to have seen her go away, and I think I'll cry when I go to bed tonight, to let those feelings out.

Makes me remember about my father who died 2 years ago also in December. And some other things that happened less than a decade ago on Xmas.

It's been a while that I hate the Holiday season, and it's surely not with this new god awful event that my mind's going to change.

Screw the year-end. And RIP, my cat. I won't forget you.
I'm sorry about your loss. My dog is getting up there in age and I worry every single day about what life would be like if he were to pass. Death is a part of life but I dread the day I have to face this reality.

Keep your chin up
 
I don't think it'll transform into a "big" depression that can destroy a life but today I feel, and I guess for a few weeks I still will, depressed.
Today's the day my cat I had for 18 years and 7 months died. It's super painful to have seen her go away, and I think I'll cry when I go to bed tonight, to let those feelings out.

Makes me remember about my father who died 2 years ago also in December. And some other things that happened less than a decade ago on Xmas.

It's been a while that I hate the Holiday season, and it's surely not with this new god awful event that my mind's going to change.

Screw the year-end. And RIP, my cat. I won't forget you.

Losing a pet is one of the most terrible feelings in the world... I've lost three in a span of around 10 years or so.

Keep your chin up and just get pat the new year.
 
kbQNrl.jpg


Tfw you've been at wendys for a couple of hrs chilling

Because your house is empty anyways

Dunno if depressed or just I dun even know anymore.....

God I love this fucking note II though....
 
it just really feels like legit no one would give a fuck if i died, you know?

im assuming some of you could relate.

theres nothing to really keep me here.

it all just kinda, makes me laugh, in a really sick way.
 
We're usually okay, but with my whole battle with depression, my entire family is changing their attitude toward me (which includes a lot BS and blaming me for it). And to be perfectly honest, no. There is not a single person I know that I'm not sick of seeing/being around. I'd honestly just prefer to lock myself away somewhere and be alone.
That fucking sucks, dude.

I may be totally off base here, but it sounds like you're mad at the world.
 
it just really feels like legit no one would give a fuck if i died, you know?

im assuming some of you could relate.

theres nothing to really keep me here.

it all just kinda, makes me laugh, in a really sick way.
don't think that way man, if you need to talk shoot me a pm
 
Well, I'm fucking depressed. lol

Sorry about the lol. I laugh not to cry.

If that can help you keep the tears in check, go for it. Wish it could for all of us. :/

Bleh, the nausea/dizziness/lightheaded feeling I get from Cymbalta is really annoying. Also started waking up super late and groggy since I've started taking it (even moreso than I was used to). Or that could just be me. Not sure about anything these days.
 
Dunno if this has been posted, as I'm just now entering the thread, but this article made me smile. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like I see a lot of this here on GAF, too. It's nice to at least know that a point-by-point refutation of all the common dismissals of depression exists somewhere.

Might as well check in here while I'm at it. Been depressed as long as I can remember, pretty much. Seeing a therapist now (number four!) who's referred to me to a psychiatrist (who I'm pretty sure is a Sikh, which is cool since I'm in the US). He prescribed Prozac to me. I should be taking it but I haven't started because I'm apprehensive (heard the horror stories). Additionally, I'm going to get my hormone levels tested to see if maybe that's causing some of my symptoms (I've read that low testosterone in men can do that as well as low dopamine and serotonin counts). Other than that, I'm basically (with few exceptions) in full-hikikomori mode after quite a few traumatic experiences this year. I suppose chiming in here and talking to some like-minded gaffers would be helpful :D
 
Won't go over everything, posted it before. Applied for a job that I worked for 5 years, left on good terms last July. Did my phone interview last week, knew every answer since, as I said, just left after working 5 years.

Denial email today. Reason - "we have identified other candidates whose experience more closely fit the specifications of the position". Hugh, no you didn't. There is literally no one that could be interviewing more qualified. Great max reviews all 5 years, was over we'll with quite a few people. Apparently not the "right" people. I've learned with my life to NEVER be optimistic or get my hopes up, but I really did think this was a no question in the bag type thing.

Couldn't be more done with everything. Just wish I could go to the hospital, find some kind person who isn't going to make it, and give them my spot here on this planet.
 
Hey everyone!
I am working on New Year's Eve, but I'm hoping you guys a good one!

I'll probably be able to go to the chat tonight if it's up. You guys can also probably pm me if you want if you're willing to wait for a response. I takes a few hours for me to respond to those and I tend to get longwinded. xD

You can also suggest ideas for a "summary of 2012" comic. I will be doodling one of those tonight when I get back.
 
Looking like a lame New Year's Eve is ahead.

Probably just me at home, like most years. :(

I wish I had more friends, and outgoing ones at that.
 
Working, then I'll be on Skype, put up a chat, etc. it'll be sort of a Freudian New Year, but a new year, nonetheless.

One question, though: who the FUCK schedules a doctors appointment for the afternoon of December 31st? Let me go hoooome!
 
Went and applied for a volunteer position in the hospital today.

I've made my big poster and managed to cross off two things already. Convention out of state, Volunteer, and concert lined up(Brought tickets to see Passion Pit).

I'm even using a real avatar this week ^_^

So I'm going to keep pushing pass that comfort zone.
 
Well, my preceptor isn't here, so they DID let me go home. Thing is, I could still be on vacation right now. I have tomorrow off. It was all nice at my parents. It's goddam freezing here!
 
I've almost certainly decided tomorrow is the day for me. I've never felt more ready. I have nothing left now... I've bought a cylinder of argon gas, studied all that shit at college. I'll just fall asleep.
 
I've almost certainly decided tomorrow is the day for me. I've never felt more ready. I have nothing left now... I've bought a cylinder of argon gas, studied all that shit at college. I'll just fall asleep.

Please don't do it. I know what I say probably won't have much of an effect, but please don't do it. People care. We care.
 
I've almost certainly decided tomorrow is the day for me. I've never felt more ready. I have nothing left now... I've bought a cylinder of argon gas, studied all that shit at college. I'll just fall asleep.

Sounds too immediate and spur-of-the-moment, even with prep taken into consideration. And I'm loathe towards the date being so significant -- you're better than a bolded calendar entry. The very least you can do is follow some kind of month-rule for a thing like that. Don't go out on a downspell without acknowledging what a downspell is man. :[
 
Looking like a lame New Year's Eve is ahead.

Probably just me at home, like most years. :(

I wish I had more friends, and outgoing ones at that.
Yeah, boring NYE ahead.

Only 45 mins until the new year starts, and I know it'll be an incredibly uneventful one.

I have nothing to look forward to anymore.
 
Alrighty then NYE over, giving myself one full year to fix my insignificant shitty life problems, if I make it then "all my problems are solved" if I wont then I'll take care of it all in one fell swoop. Not in the 'I'm so gloomy I don't want to live anymore' but rather in the sense you put down your pet. You might want him to live forever but deep inside you know that he is much better off dead instead of never ever being able to outweigh the pain you know?

Happy New Years.
 
I will be home in about an hour. I will go into chat.

I've almost certainly decided tomorrow is the day for me. I've never felt more ready. I have nothing left now... I've bought a cylinder of argon gas, studied all that shit at college. I'll just fall asleep.
Please don't decide something so drastic.
Of all the things you could procrastinate on indefinitely, let it be that.
There are so many things you could be doing instead for any number of reasons. Baby yourself. Look forward to for the next game, the next olypmics, the next eclipse, anything.
 
Alrighty then NYE over, giving myself one full year to fix my insignificant shitty life problems, if I make it then "all my problems are solved" if I wont then I'll take care of it all in one fell swoop. Not in the 'I'm so gloomy I don't want to live anymore' but rather in the sense you put down your pet. You might want him to live forever but deep inside you know that he is much better off dead instead of never ever being able to outweigh the pain you know?

Happy New Years.

Happy New Years Corky.

Count up your insignificant shit and be surprised that it probably reaches double figures. Don't beat yourself up if you only manage to fix a measly handful.. a fingerful!... of whatever-baker's dozen the shit amounts to. My experience of trying to fix stuff, ineffectively, advises me that a year isn't long enough to wipe a slate clean. But then, I mean.. of course it isn't.

If you need pick-me-ups, let me know and I'll PM you my Steam ID and you can body me in SF4. I play Viper. I'm terrible. But I can sometimes Fierce-Feint-Fierce. Sometimes. Beating me will be therapeutic. Or so I'm led to believe.
 
I've almost certainly decided tomorrow is the day for me. I've never felt more ready. I have nothing left now... I've bought a cylinder of argon gas, studied all that shit at college. I'll just fall asleep.

Pumpkin, all if us here have felt what you're feeling now and we're begging you to reconsider. Think of times you've pushed through this, you can do it again. Find someone to talk to in person, call a suicide hot line, anything.
 
So, the GAFChat thing appears to be live. I'm hanging out in it (alone!). If you wanna hang out in to to, go to, um, http://tinychat.com/depressionsgaf and input pw, depressionsucks (I think?). I'm *effortlessly* used to silences, so there's no need to say shit. At the very least, if you do decide to chat but don't wanna dive in, we can practice our small-talk. :D I'm here as an ear though at the very least. I'll engage with whatever's on your mind if you wanna talk about specifics. I'll stay on as long as I can.
 
So, the GAFChat thing appears to be live. I'm hanging out in it (alone!). If you wanna hang out in to to, go to, um, http://tinychat.com/depressionsgaf and input pw, depressionsucks (I think?). I'm *effortlessly* used to silences, so there's no need to say shit. At the very least, if you do decide to chat but don't wanna dive in, we can practice our small-talk. :D I'm here as an ear though at the very least. I'll engage with whatever's on your mind if you wanna talk about specifics. I'll stay on as long as I can.

im usually on Mibbit. Ponygaf was on tinychat and then we migrated, i like it better.

i dunno how to start and maintain an IRC channel but i think its better.
 
I'm not internet savvy or experienced enough to have an opinion one way or another. :P

Either way, it seems that the Tinychat thing was a temp glitch...? It appears to be back up now.
 
Well. I am in the chat now~!

I realize the limitations of tinychat.
Do any of you want me to figure out how an irc works and try to make some kind of room? I'll spend some hours doing that tomorrow maybe.
Though I wonder if I would be able to figure out how to keep randoms out. lol
 
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