Depression

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Prax

Prax

Member
Happy new year, people.
Have some of my sentiments. XD

okay_prax__have_a_happy_new_year__by_meibatsu-d5pzpe6.png


I tried to get it done by midnight in my timezone, but you know.. life is distracting and uh.. REASONS. lol?? (I got ambitious and wanted colours.)

Take care of yourselves and celebrate your accomplishments! No matter how big or small (or trivial) they are!
 
TUROK

TUROK

Member
J2d said:
Happy new years depression gaf, here's to surviving another shit year.
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Surviving is easy. Thriving is hard.

Hope we can all enjoy this upcoming 2013 more than we enjoyed 2012. If you're in this thread, you know how fucking hard it is to stay positive, but I'm giving it my best shot here. Fingers crossed and happy new years, friends.
 
W

Windam

Scaley member
Happy New Year guys!

Hope yours has been going better than mine has for the last hour. 30 minutes in my dad decided he'd curse at me for having therapy tomorrow. I didn't bother to say anything back, though I really wish I could've punched him in the face a few times to blow off all the built up anger and pain I have in me right now. I'm done with/tired of this place and the people. I guess my resolution this year should be: don't kill yourself. Because honestly, I'm at the point where I feel like doing it.
 
Collete

Collete

Member
Happy new year depression GAF. Even though I'm separate from this community, still important to acknowledge where I'm from, and what I still am.
 
U

Uchip

Banned
Prax said:
Happy new year, people.
Have some of my sentiments. XD

okay_prax__have_a_happy_new_year__by_meibatsu-d5pzpe6.png


I tried to get it done by midnight in my timezone, but you know.. life is distracting and uh.. REASONS. lol?? (I got ambitious and wanted colours.)

Take care of yourselves and celebrate your accomplishments! No matter how big or small (or trivial) they are!
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prax, now in colour!
 
B

BadTaste

Member
Well that was an eventful night.

I phoned up Samaritans and Breathingspace about being depressed, I felt suicidal.

Samaritans were more helpful and sounded more caring, they told me to contact my GP as a first step, so that's what I'll do.

I then get a phone call at 4 AM waking me up from a girl that I used to have feelings for. She was wasted, it was hard to understand her at times but she was saying she's sorry and other mumbo jumbo. I told her straight up she's drunk and that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

I stopped contact with her before because she friend-zoned me.

Now I can't get back to sleep. Currently 6:33 AM here.

Also, Happy New Year folks.
 
M

mooooose

Member
I want to die.

I failed all my classes this semester. I had to transfer schools, so now I won't graduate on time. I haven't told my dad any of this, he pays for my school. My dad is a harsh person. His wife (step mom) hates me.

I lost my ex. I still miss her sometimes even though (despite how shitty I was) how shitty she was too and still is sometimes. I can't help it.

I don't like my friends. I try to like them but I don't. I have social anxiety. I self sabotage my relationships by not responding to them, by making plans and not showing up.

I am too afraid to even look at my phone and see what texts are there.

I am too afraid to even speak to people. I can yell things in public with no shame but actually talking to people makes me so anxious I feel like I will faint.

I don't even want to be alive. Any time I think about any of this I want to die. I mask all my other feelings with being happy. Because they are better than this. If it's not impending death, I just assume I'm happy.

Really, I'm empty. Empty is better than sad.

I wonder, I used to tell my ex, the reason we were so sad is because we're smart.

I wonder what normal people think like.

I wonder if they ever think life is as bleak as I do.

I wonder what it's like to really be happy.

Responsibilities scare me. I would be happy if I had none. Maybe I'm not cut out for life.

I think I'm enlightened. I'm smarter than everyone else. Sad people are smart. We see life for what it really is. Everyone else is empty minded. Life is what is actually empty. We have no real purpose here.

Wasting time seems fun, responsibility kills that.

Why have responsibility? I think there is something wrong with society.

I want to die. It's perfect. I have no one who will be sad. My ex is gone. My best friend hates me. I'm not even sure where our relationship is right now. My dad resents me. My mom loves me and my sister but that is where it ends.

I hate myself. I hate my life. I shouldn't but I do. I'm spoiled. I wish I didn't have any of it.

Everyone is out tonight having a great night.

Last year at this time, I was with my ex. She was miserable because I dragged her to my best friend's house and she was always back and forth on him. We had broken up earlier that month but got back together. I was always insecure after that. That she could just leave and then come back. It drove me crazy. That night was NYE and we kissed. Its a kiss in time I remember and I will always remember. Tonight, she is with her new boyfriend and kissing him.

Two weeks ago she chose him, explicitly, over me.

It made it easy to be over HER, as a person, but not her as what she meant to me.

I miss my girlfriend. I wonder if I'll ever find anyone I like as much as her again.

I want to tell my dad all of this. Sometimes I wonder if its a big excuse for failing college. I'm such a fucking mess. I wonder if I can even fix it. I wonder when he will give up on me. I wonder if he would understand.

I want to just sleep and never wake up.

What a wonderful start to 2013.
 
A

Air Zombie Meat

Member
This can be a hard time of year if you feel that you don't have anything to celebrate. But at the end of the day, it's just a date like any other. If anything, it can be a good time to draw a line and leave the past in the past. You gain nothing from letting it weigh so heavily on you. Obviously thats a lot easier said than done but I feel it's worth striving for. I wish all of you the best for the next year.
 
C

ClassyPenguin

Banned
mooooose said:
I envy those who have the guts to kill themselves. I always have and always will.
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As someone who survived an an overdose, it had nothing to do with being brave. Only desperate.

Fuck 2012. I hit rock bottom. Still pretty much there. I'm not hopeful the new year will be any better.
 
Prax

Prax

Member
Empty said:
prax comics are amazing! i want moar.
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Uchip said:
prax, now in colour!
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Thanks guys.
And yes, now I reveal my colours~!
I will make more probably for special occasions. I kind of like how they are made to represent "special days" but it's actually just me being.. kind of tortured and cynically amused by my unglamorous existence instead. I don't know. It's fun to celebrate the absurdity.

mooooose said:
post
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Heyyy.. sounds a lot like a stream of thought I've had at times. Scared of people. Scared of expectations and responsibilities. And perhaps a case of self-sabotage on the academic level.
I think "normal people" or people who can cope with amazing disappointment in life are kind of able to not attribute those things as an intrinsic part of themselves. They believe they can change or improve, or it's not their fault, and they can just move on to new goals and distractions. Kind of like.. not thinking too deeply or gazing too long into the abyss out of morbid curiosity lest you get swallowed in it yourself.
Intelligence and cleverness is great, and can be a great source of pride, but you don't want that kind of "power" to make you stubborn to being proven wrong about your beliefs. Maybe the world ain't so empty and pointless. Maybe everyone else is losing the forest for the trees, but you're losing the world for the forest.

Keep strong and do what you need to. It's tiring to be responsible. But it's also tiring to keep dodging it. I'd say to find counselling for this. Get some services from your school (academic counselling and psychological--you might as well, it's being funded for).
 
X

Xzeon

Banned
holy fuck! i thought i was depressed. depressiongaf is fucking hardcore.

i know its easier to give up, but you cant lose hope.

i recently lost my dog, and its hitting me a lot harder than i thought it would.

i miss him so much, and feel like i just want to die cuz hes not here.

but, ive been thinking of all the 'woulda coulda shouldas' and running through all the events that led up to him dying. if we can learn from our mistakes and learn from our problems, then bad things do not happen in vain. i dont want my dogs death to be meaningless, i want to aknoledge the hand i had in his life and his death, i want to learn about my flaws cuz their being painful highlighted and shoved in my wounds right now. sometimes it takes a tragedy to shock your brain into waking up. this event has caused me to realize im just falling deeper and deeper in my own self destruction. then seeing everyone brag about their 2012 accomplishments just solidified my resolve even more. these people are happy, their working and achieving and living, why cant i?

im in a lot of emotional pain, but i want to use it as a catalyst to make sure something like this never happens again. admitting your problems is the first step to recovery, and i have a lot of problems. no, people yelling and screaming all the time is not something to brush off, you cant just 'forget' tragedies, this shit leaves scars, and when you can finally say, this is abuse, this is tragedy instead of sugar coating it, i feel you can actually start healing. this is what im going through.

my brain just goes 100 miles a second, if i had the balls to conquer the world i would be doing so much right now, but my fear of life and my self hatred is killing me, these idiots im forced to be around are killing me. i have to fix this.

im not dead yet, theres still time.

happy new year gaf.
 
U

Uchip

Banned
Xzeon said:
holy fuck! i thought i was depressed. depressiongaf is fucking hardcore.

i know its easier to give up, but you cant lose hope.

i recently lost my dog, and its hitting me a lot harder than i thought it would.

i miss him so much, and feel like i just want to die cuz hes not here.

but, ive been thinking of all the 'woulda coulda shouldas' and running through all the events that led up to him dying. if we can learn from our mistakes and learn from our problems, then bad things do not happen in vain. i dont want my dogs death to be meaningless, i want to aknoledge the hand i had in his life and his death, i want to learn about my flaws cuz their being painful highlighted and shoved in my wounds right now. sometimes it takes a tragedy to shock your brain into waking up. this event has caused me to realize im just falling deeper and deeper in my own self destruction. then seeing everyone brag about their 2012 accomplishments just solidified my resolve even more. these people are happy, their working and achieving and living, why cant i?

im in a lot of emotional pain, but i want to use it as a catalyst to make sure something like this never happens again. admitting your problems is the first step to recovery, and i have a lot of problems. no, people yelling and screaming all the time is not something to brush off, you cant just 'forget' tragedies, this shit leaves scars, and when you can finally say, this is abuse, this is tragedy instead of sugar coating it, i feel you can actually start healing. this is what im going through.

my brain just goes 100 miles a second, if i had the balls to conquer the world i would be doing so much right now, but my fear of life and my self hatred is killing me, these idiots im forced to be around are killing me. i have to fix this.

im not dead yet, theres still time.

happy new year gaf.
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you only live ice
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Toodles said:
Happy New Years Corky.

If you need pick-me-ups, let me know and I'll PM you my Steam ID and you can body me in SF4. I play Viper. I'm terrible. But I can sometimes Fierce-Feint-Fierce. Sometimes. Beating me will be therapeutic. Or so I'm led to believe.
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Happy new years :D

SF only makes my blood to boil even more.
 
H

hiryu64

Member
Air Zombie Meat said:
^ Pretty much. "Normal people" are able to keep their failures in perspective and not constantly beat up on themselves.
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I was discussing this with a friend last night. The best way to describe depression to a non-depressed person is by saying that whereas for them sadness is temporary and happiness is default, for a depressive sadness is the default emotion. And perhaps "happiness" isn't the correct word to use, since we don't truly feel happiness. So more like "contentedness" I guess. Like Prax said, "normal people" (and I hate to use that term, but it's the only one that I can think of) may feel depressed for extended periods of time, but it's not their default states of mind, and they generally "bounce back". The exact opposite is true for people like us. That's what I had to explain. I felt bad because I had to have the whole "You don't truly understand" conversation with him, but he ultimately understood what I was getting at.

I also had him read the article I posted earlier, and he felt bad because he was guilty of a few of those platitudes (namely, "this will all pass" and "you have to change your thinking"). But we ultimately came to a better understanding and I think it helped our friendship. These are the types of people that we need in our lives. I hope that many of you can find people like this, because they're the ones that are worth keeping.

Articles:
List of the 15 most common platitudes and refutations of each (I linked this one before)
100 terrible platitudes No refutations here, so just read it if you wanna get mad or send it to people that use some of these to show them how much of a dick they are.
 
C

ceramic

Member
So I recently went through and completed a group CBT course, but I found that the contents of the course was mainly information that I already knew through internet research, albeit slightly more detailed. I have found that knowing that my anxiety is due to cognitive flaws (i.e. fortune telling, mind reading) does not help lower my anxiety in any way. Even when I test a prediction and it all goes well, it does not make it any easier the next time I try to repeat the test. Through taking the time to consider what triggers my anxiety I've also found that my anxiety is not only caused by social situations but pretty much life in general.

I feel that this is also made worse by very low self-esteem, particularly concerning my physical appearance (sometimes I feel embarrassed to even be seen by other people by drawing attention to myself in any way), my intelligence, and my ability to cope in new situations. it doesn't help that my weight fluctuates a lot and sometimes clothes look too big for be and make me look like a child wearing his dad's clothes. I feel terrible for how vain these worries make me. I feel extremely inferior when around other people, particularly with regards to physical appearance. Like, I wanted to join a gym class at one point but decided against as most members of the class are typically female - I feel strongly that I don't belong (not as a man but as the sort of man I am). When talking to women in general I don't want to appear as though I'm 'hitting on them', even when I'm interested in them as I feel they will be offended that I would even think that they would be interested in me. As women are typically hit on a lot (even at work), I feel that any approach to a woman without a valid reason will automatically be considered me hitting on them. I feel this despite knowing that I can't mind read and don't necessarily know what they are thinking. I can't talk to other men either as I am intimidated by them in general. I fit more feminine traits than masculine and don't really have much in common with men. I tend to be sensitive and introspective and this nature tends to clash a lot with a great deal of other men, who seem to view me (from past experience) as weak, wimpy and pathetic (I know there are many men that are sensitive and introspective, and there are probably lots on neogaf). I don't know if this is my fault though, as I tend to be so extremely sensitive that I don't contribute to conversations much and when they do I tend not to strongly assert my opinions.

I have to go back to the clinic in a few weeks to review how I have got on since the course finished and could be referred to individual therapy if it has not helped. Does individual therapy differ from group CBT in a way that would help me deal with my above issues?
 
Prax

Prax

Member
ceramic said:
So I recently went through and completed a group CBT course, but I found that the contents of the course was mainly information that I already knew through internet research, albeit slightly more detailed. I have found that knowing that my anxiety is due to cognitive flaws (i.e. fortune telling, mind reading) does not help lower my anxiety in any way. Even when I test a prediction and it all goes well, it does not make it any easier the next time I try to repeat the test. Through taking the time to consider what triggers my anxiety I've also found that my anxiety is not only caused by social situations but pretty much life in general.

I feel that this is also made worse by very low self-esteem, particularly concerning my physical appearance (sometimes I feel embarrassed to even be seen by other people by drawing attention to myself in any way), my intelligence, and my ability to cope in new situations. it doesn't help that my weight fluctuates a lot and sometimes clothes look too big for be and make me look like a child wearing his dad's clothes. I feel terrible for how vain these worries make me. I feel extremely inferior when around other people, particularly with regards to physical appearance. Like, I wanted to join a gym class at one point but decided against as most members of the class are typically female - I feel strongly that I don't belong (not as a man but as the sort of man I am). When talking to women in general I don't want to appear as though I'm 'hitting on them', even when I'm interested in them as I feel they will be offended that I would even think that they would be interested in me. As women are typically hit on a lot (even at work), I feel that any approach to a woman without a valid reason will automatically be considered me hitting on them. I feel this despite knowing that I can't mind read and don't necessarily know what they are thinking. I can't talk to other men either as I am intimidated by them in general. I fit more feminine traits than masculine and don't really have much in common with men. I tend to be sensitive and introspective and this nature tends to clash a lot with a great deal of other men, who seem to view me (from past experience) as weak, wimpy and pathetic (I know there are many men that are sensitive and introspective, and there are probably lots on neogaf). I don't know if this is my fault though, as I tend to be so extremely sensitive that I don't contribute to conversations much and when they do I tend not to strongly assert my opinions.


I have to go back to the clinic in a few weeks to review how I have got on since the course finished and could be referred to individual therapy if it has not helped. Does individual therapy differ from group CBT in a way that would help me deal with my above issues?
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I think the main point is, "knowing" doesn't solve anything unless you put what you learned into practise. So you got the basics down, and what you need to do is practice with new behaviors for a long time. If you know you can't mind read, then don't act like you can (even if you still feel it inside of you lol). It can take a long time, but you're retraining yourself to think a different way, and old habits die hard and your brain will probably try to find every reason to reinforce your old ways. My own thoughts are that thoughts become actions, but actions also become thoughts. So by doing (even if it's out of your comfort zone right now--practice relaxation to link the two things together), you're slowly reteaching yourself how to think about the world. And in the case that your brain chemistry is really off, medication can help balance that to give you a fair chance at relearning.

I don't know for sure, but individual therapy will probably help you come up with a more detailed plan on how to deal with your anxieties in successive steps. And it helps to have someone other than yourself keeping track of your progress (because you may tend to downplay it to yourself), and help you come up with new ways to approach your issues and instill you with a bit of confidence about it (if you were so sure about what you had to do, you'd probably be doing it already).
 
H

heidern

Junior Member
Happy new year all. Hope 2013 is better to you guys than 2012 was. The first day of my new year is about to end and it's time to get some sleep. It's been a bit turbulent and eventful. I was working New years eve till midnight and then I went out on my own. I am a bit of an expert on going out on my own but this past year or so I had lost motivation and purpose(you know how it is, you don't have any genuine interest in other people and can't connect to them so it all seems pointless even if other people are positive towards you, you don't really care, maybe a touch sociopathic I guess). That's compounded by a life lacking purpose but not lacking negativity. The night is always action packed, but it was magnified partly by the new year atmosphere, and partly me getting my mojo back a bit.

Today was another day at work, but I reflected back on the previous night and felt a little positivity about it(which has been missing for almost 2 years now since things started quietly going disastrously wrong again). The little spark of true hope and positivity is all I'm looking for, because then I can replicate and build on it, kinda like building a clone army. It's been 15 years since I've had a day of genuine happiness, but I thought I might be getting close to that again. Of course I happened to listen to a song and was reminded of my best friend who died in his sleep at 24 and that hit me with full force. As devastating as it felt, at least I was feeling a little in touch with my humanity and less sociopathic.

Oh shit, I forgot to mention, on Sunday night at 10pm my housemate collapsed because of some negative reaction to heroin and was supposedly 2 minutes away from dying. She got back from the hospital at 5am worse for wear but alive, so I went to sleep ok after that. So yeah, I haven't completely lost the sociopathic tendencies lol.

I guess I should meditate before going to sleep. One of my new years resolutions is to continue those meditation tutorials. I'll have the next one up in a day or two.

Ratchet said:
Heidern, I tried out PSTEC from their website. They offer two audio tracks for free, and there are others you could buy to get the complete process. The idea behind it is that while you're thinking about what is affecting you negatively in your mind, there are instructions told to you by the guy speaking--there are beeps that you'll tap your fingers to as soon as you hear them and you must keep doing that throughout the recording while he's speaking to you. This is supposed to distract you from whatever makes you anxious and ultimately, rob it of its value. I have to say, after going through both tracks, I felt more relaxed and had a clearer mind.
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Glad you got a good result. The two tracks do the same job, but switching between them stops you getting too used to them. They are a complete process in and of themselves, they neutralise negative emotions related to your thoughts and memories. The other tracks mostly just help make the process quicker and more efficient. Apart from pstec positive which is designed to instill positive beliefs. But all of those are optional, the free tracks are more than enough.

If you are getting a good result stick with it. If something has affected you negatively, there may be many aspects to it. You may feel fear, shame, guilt, anger etc all for the same event. So in that case you would use the tracks in each of those to bring them down. Usually you can get a particular emotion down in around 4 run throughs(some can take more). It's not a quick fix since the brain and mind model is complex, I average 8 run throughs a day. But the results are clear.
 
P

pradator

Neo Member
need to vent. dont even know if i belong in this thread because ive never actually been diagnosed lmao. but i do believe i have some sort of bi-polar disorder and it fucking sucks because ive not long turned 17 yet theres many times where i just think life isn't worth living anymore.

i have a few friends but none of them are close enough to me to care that much and i hate to be a burden of depression on them, my family are like strangers to me and ive never spoke to my mum about how i feel because she'd probably blame it on 'teenage hormones' or some shit, im half way through my first year of A levels yet i really much doubt i'll get the grades i need for university so not sure if theres much point carrying on.

i do really want to get professional help but once i get into that then in my head its just a world full of medication, sympathy and prejudice from everyone around me. i dont want to be 'that girl' who you have to be nice to just cause shes got mental health issues.

as you can probably tell ive not had the best start to the year and ill probably end up drowning myself in alcohol tonight, i hope this mood subsides soon
 
B

Bagels

You got Moxie, kid!
pradator said:
need to vent. dont even know if i belong in this thread because ive never actually been diagnosed lmao. but i do believe i have some sort of bi-polar disorder and it fucking sucks because ive not long turned 17 yet theres many times where i just think life isn't worth living anymore.

i have a few friends but none of them are close enough to me to care that much and i hate to be a burden of depression on them, my family are like strangers to me and ive never spoke to my mum about how i feel because she'd probably blame it on 'teenage hormones' or some shit, im half way through my first year of A levels yet i really much doubt i'll get the grades i need for university so not sure if theres much point carrying on.

i do really want to get professional help but once i get into that then in my head its just a world full of medication, sympathy and prejudice from everyone around me. i dont want to be 'that girl' who you have to be nice to just cause shes got mental health issues.

as you can probably tell ive not had the best start to the year and ill probably end up drowning myself in alcohol tonight, i hope this mood subsides soon
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Well, fortunately for you, people don't generally cut you too much additional slack if you're mentally ill.

Less cynically, confidentiality is a big deal in medicine - often moreso in psychiatry. It might be different being under 18 and in some sort of quasi-communist British-style healthcare system (I kid!), but it's generally up to you who you want to disclose your illness to. I'd definitely find out how the law applies to you, but I've made the choice to be very open about my depression - I've never felt forced to disclose it (and in many cases, I could sue employers or whoever for doing so).

Will you need meds and/or therapy forever? Many people don't, but it is a possibility. Maybe I'll be off meds someday, but I don't really foresee that happening. I'm okay with that. It's like any other chronic disease - why should anyone feel bad that they need insulin, or methotrexate, or aspirin, or whatever, every day to stay healthy?
 
W

Wilsongt

Member
Congrats on your sex!

We'll see when I get some... Probably never.

I had a talk with a friend last night about that situation I am in... He didn't offer any good insight into the guy...
 
The Hermit

The Hermit

Member
to emily chu:

tumblr_mbtg02hPnD1rtocdj.jpg



anyway, 2012 was my worst year ever, I am so glad its over!
Decided to start this year with a new look, going to the gym everyday, trying to lose my huge belly.

I don't care about girls, sex or relationships, just myself. Looking for a trip soon and hopefully I might start to see what I truly want to do with my life.

I kept thinking about killing myself around this time of the year the whole past year, but I think I can live a little longer... for now
 
H

heidern

Junior Member
mooooose said:
I have to call my dad and tell him I failed most of my classes this semester. I'm so scared.
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With pstec you can get rid of that fear.

pradator said:
i do really want to get professional help but once i get into that then in my head its just a world full of medication, sympathy and prejudice from everyone around me. i dont want to be 'that girl' who you have to be nice to just cause shes got mental health issues
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If you're in a civilised country like the UK, professional help is free! Treatment also isn't compulsory. If you don't like what they have to offer you can just walk away. It may not be medication either, it may be therapy. Don't worry about other people, the whole 'stigma' around mental health is overstated bullshit. People don't care about other people, they care about themselves. They'll mainly care whether you are a positive influence in their life, your mental health has little relevence to them. Be smart, go to the doctor.
 
W

Windam

Scaley member
TUROK said:
That fucking sucks, dude.

I may be totally off base here, but it sounds like you're mad at the world.
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Sort of, yeah. Just what the fuck did any of us do to deserve this (i.e., being in mental sometimes physical anguish for months/years)? Why does this have to exist? I've had trouble forming meaningful relationships before becoming depressed, to the point where I only had one my entire life with someone who wasn't family. Now I'm more or less burning every bridge that I have with everyone, and it blows because I don't want to, but I just can't help it.
 
H

heidern

Junior Member
mooooose said:
Does pstec really work?
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Yes it does. I've used it on more than 100 issues/memories/negative thought patterns/ and it has made a big difference. I've successfully dealt with issues including anger, fear, shame, sadness, guilt and procrastination.

The pstec audio track is 11 minutes and it's free. In your case, you would imagine calling your dad to tell him you failed. You would feel a negative emotion associated to that(probably fear). You'll run the click track on that emotion. Keep that image of you calling your dad in mind and keep focused on feeling that emotion. You have to tap along to the track while you do this. You don't need to focus on any of the words(since they are meant to speak to your subconcious). Focus 20% on tapping correctly and 80% on the emotion. You may find 1 run through makes all the difference, or maybe up to 4 or 5 run throughs. so between 10 minutes to an hour of time.
 
P

Pacbois

Member
I had a lot of bad shit going along those past few months.

In 2010, I moved to a new town to study. Found a cool flatshare, found myself a Girl. But then, I started to fail in class and ended out dropping out. I took two loans but ended up broke as hell. So I went back to my mom's, meaning leaving my GF who was my moral support at the time.

At first I just thought it was the occasion to get a new start. I even found a pretty much good job for a few months. But then, it went downhill. I missed my ex. My ex flatmates tried to fuck me up. I felt that being away for 2 years made me lost touch with my friends. I had problems at work...

I just feel very lonely. I see a lot of people, I socialize a lot. But the problem is that deep inside me I feel just ankward around people. I started to realise that I have a lot of pals, but no friends.

I had kinda of a glimpse of good news this week-end. I spent the night with a cute and smart girl. But the problem is that she's in love with a guy who lives in the other side of the planet. I thought this was going to be more of a detail than anything, but tonight, she told me that It couldn't work because of that. I don't hate her for that actually, she was honest with me about that. It's just so fucking frustrating. So despite having quite a good mood for a few days, I'm falling again. Crying alone in my bed, listening to sad songs like a fucking cliché.

I know those problems are mostly trivial. Maybe everything will be better in a few days. But right now, I'm just sad as fuck.

(Sorry for my probably bad English.)
 
P

Piano

Banned
I've felt like complete horseshit for the past few days. Don't know what to do with myself. Not interested in video games, talking to my girlfriend, hanging out with friends. Nothing. I feel fucking awful. Last time I can remember feeling this awful was over a year ago. No idea what on earth happened.

Whoo, 2013.
 
Collete

Collete

Member
Hi guys, been awhile.
Status: Hollow. Barely making it as of late. Laptop I received is faulty so I'm yet again without a laptop.
Also, a friend requested me to draw a crocodile from Castle Crasher's and here's the result:
ejIqr.png

Not bad for 5 hours of work tbh. Need to get back to writing if i have the heart to do so.
 
R

revolverjgw

Member
After many many years of depression, I actually had my first meeting with a psychologist today. Didn't really do much except lay down the basics, and I don't know how much this going to help, but it feels good to finally take a step. Her initial impression is that I have dysthymia, and when I mentioned I thought maybe I was schizoid, she said that had crossed her mind. It remains to be seen how crazy I really am. Anybody have any experience with Cognitive Behavior Therapy?
 
R

Rocket Scientist

Member
Emily Chu said:
Umm fuck....

url

Don't think I've ever been this happy before.....
Click to expand...
Wow, how pathetic. Not surprisingly that your thread didn't get any action, but hey, at least you did! It's nice to see Gaffers who were depressed feel better, but this is just ridiculous. A girlfriend or sex isn't going to solve the deeper problems that cause depression.
Pacbois said:
(Sorry for my probably bad English.)
Click to expand...
Nothing wrong with your English at all. Where are you from?
 
TUROK

TUROK

Member
Rocket Scientist said:
Wow, how pathetic. Not surprisingly that your thread didn't get any action, but hey, at least you did! It's nice to see Gaffers who were depressed feel better, but this is just ridiculous. A girlfriend or sex isn't going to solve the deeper problems that cause depression.
Click to expand...
Some people do get legitimately depressed over being lonely.
 
Collete

Collete

Member
Rocket Scientist said:
Wow, how pathetic. Not surprisingly that your thread didn't get any action, but hey, at least you did! It's nice to see Gaffers who were depressed feel better, but this is just ridiculous. A girlfriend or sex isn't going to solve the deeper problems that cause depression.
Click to expand...

I could be ignorant, but people do say stuff they don't really think about when on a euphoric happiness or in a deep state of depression. That said, let him be. It's important to recognize an issue if you have one, I agree that sex isn't going to solve deeper problems of depression. But if he's happy over it, let him be. We're there for him if he needs us again. (Also I don't think "pathetic" is the right choice of words here.)
 
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