Charoncaori
Member
I read them, I read all the posts in here. I just don't usually know what to say. =/ Social awkwardness, I guess. I'm really glad you had a better day, though.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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I read them, I read all the posts in here. I just don't usually know what to say. =/ Social awkwardness, I guess. I'm really glad you had a better day, though.
Well, I have been feeling better since I wrote that. About my father I cannot tell him right now because he is paying school for me and coming out would mean lots of things. My age? I am 18. My friends have been very supportive this week because I told them about my depression, but I will just keep my sexual orientation hidden for a while.
Edit: @Prax I appreciate your help, unfortunately there is no gay place that I can go since I live in a stupid small town and the city where I study is not that big, and I just can't ask people about me being gay right now
I have just come to the conclusion that not wanting to do anything and staying up late so that I feel to tired to get up in the morning is not a sane thought - therefore, what I am going can't be pure laziness, it must be depression.
I think this makes me feels better as depression is something I can fix, and laziness is more of a character trait. I meant, I haven't always been like this.
I think this makes me feels better as depression is something I can fix, and laziness is more of a character trait. I meant, I haven't always been like this.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Yepyepyepyepyep. This is me. I barely speak to anyone and my social skills (which used to be excellent, at least when I was a child) are non existent. I don't even know how to interact with people anymore. I also rarely, if ever, have anything to say to anyone.
I will say after having gone though an experience similar to this around 15 years old, that if you just get involved in group conversations, don't worry about how what you say will be considered, just say whatever comes into your head. Even if it seems inconsequential or insignificant or boring or too snarky, just let it out.
You are almost guaranteed to be surprised at the reaction to your comment. Even if you are not, and it is not received great, people will not hold what you said against you, they will not remember it, they will not subconsciously store it as a minus point against how much they like you. It will be forgotten.
This is the only way to build your character, and it works fucking quickly once you get going. You forget how much fun it is saying stuff that is not perfectly generic and safe, and then the cycle perpetuates and you enjoy taking those small risks, and before you know it, you are normal, outgoing, confident and funny.
But it is difficult to get started, I know. I have failed to do so for about 2-3 years now.
I hear you guys about not knowing what to say or having anything to say at all. It seems most people are able to interact in a friendly, jokey way at work. Somehow, I'm unable to, and I come off as being too serious. I'm really not serious at all, I don't think. Self-serious, perhaps, but not serious. I used to be a class clown in middle school, but I don't know where the spark went. Must have lost it during high school and college when I barely made any friends. Now I make wisecracks to myself!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Whenever I open my mouth, I just stumble over my words and sometimes stutter. I need to, like, find some difficult sentences to practice saying out loud in private or something...
Yeah I relate to that!
I am of the opinion that spending too much time on the internet has increased my 'seriousness'. Especially places like GAF, where there was a time when everything was very PC, the conversation is very serious (well, more so than real life anyway), and socially aware.
This are all excellent things, but spending to much time around that kind of environment I think, has had an effect on me, and I am plain scared of insulting someone when I say something.
That's all part of the nervousness. That is what is holding you back (I think!), not that you don't have anything to say. How can you even think to say something meaningful when you are so nervous!
Also, and I don't categorically stutter, but I don't speak as clearly as I do around people I trust, speaking is something that you can become unpractised at.
I always think of witty things to say in conversations...a couple hours after the fact.
This is because, hours after the fact, you are not in that conversation, and you are not feeling the anxiety, you are just replaying the event in your head free from that kind of though, just focusing on what was said like you would normally, and you are then able to apply your brain power to formulating a reply, not using it to concentrate on what other people are thinking of you, or what they will think of you after you do/say something.
(Oh my god, that was all one sentence. I need to go to bed!)
I apologies for my past few rambling posts, I am exceptionally tired, and I am finding this therapeutic for some reason.
Hehe I did tell you about my own situation getting much better when I moved and all my social circles changed. Funny how that seems to work for almost everyone I know that have gone through similar situation. You can present whoever you want to new people and it's not necessarily phony or anything. You are just missing all the social baggage of your previous life.
I can also personally second (or third?) this. Sadly that's not an option for everyone, but my personal life outlook/situation changed a LOT for the better once I moved halfway around the country.
scar tissue
Banned
I'm almost certain that if I moved permanently, my problems would follow me in the long haul. It only works because a vacation is short-term.
I did sort of start anew when I started studying - I don't have contact with anyone from my school days. I hated school because of all the people I sort of knew - things turned awkward quickly because I was afraid to say hi if I saw someone I knew in a group of people I didn't know.
It only took me about a year to fuck things up again, it's pretty much the same now.
as somebody who has fled states to evade problems, i can tell you that you are absolutely right. your problems will come with you. there will hopefully come a time when you realize that your problems will always be with you, unless you stand against them, and change. wherever you're standing right now, that's where the battle is gonna happen.
scar tissue
Banned
No, why would I do that? The only gaffer I have on ignore is Devolution, and that's because she has me on ignore as well.
well, i dont know. im trying to give direct advice to you, in your situation, and you dont acknowledge it. its alright. i know youve got other things going on.
scar tissue
Banned
Missed your other post, sorry. I hope you aren't miffed now.
Well, as of now, trying doesn't help. I posted ITT about my experiences talking to girls at a university event. Shit was pretty devastating, they looked at me like I had leprosy or something. I'll try again when I go on vacation next time, that's my best bet right now.
As for my problems following, thanks for confirming my thesis. I might move someday because of different reasons (job opportunities), but I'm not kidding myself that things will be different elsewhere.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Glad you're feeling better and that your friends have been supportive. Are you out to them yet? The reason I ask is that I've never met a happy closeted person. Do you feel lonely without anyone to date or is that not a focus for you right now?
Oh indeed.
Collete
Member
I was thinking of going to a MBA but the requirements are kind of vague from what I can see. But I think I have to go back for four years to take all the business courses I need. Not sure.
Not really good with science or law...
I'd guess about that. You're cutting around two years of core classes off an MBA total, so roughly 4 years. If you wanted it shorter, full-time in the summer. I did 36 credits last year (and of course, people still call me lazy). If I kept that pace, it would've taken me about 3 years for a bachelor's, from zero to 120 credits.
When you want to walk from A to B you just do it without thinking. If you concentrate on moving all the muscles in your arms and legs you'll struggle. You just do it on automatic because you're brain is wired to handle the task. Conversation is the same, If you try to think what to say it is not efficient.
Humans can also detect how others are feeling to some extent. If you are talking to someone and you are analysing what to say, worried about your words, wondering if things are awkward etc the other person will likely detect this to some extent. They won't know what exactly, they'll just feel the negative energy. If you are around people the best thing to do is instead of thinking about what to say, focus on how you feel, just focus on feeling relaxed, focus on feeling happy. People will detect your positive energy and be happy to be around you, they won't care if you say nothing.
I made a new friend from my med school class today - he's an MD/MBA student. He had a job offer after two years of medical school and completing his MBA (we've both returned as third year students). Man, does he have stuff figured out. Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney.
Join me in the chat as I drink from the chalice of victory!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADDRESS:
http://chat.mibbit.com
1. CONNECT: leave the server dropdown on mibbit
2. NICK: choose whatever nickname you want
(although if you want to reserve a nickname for yourself only, there are other steps you can take. I used this guide because it was easiest, even though we're not really in the mozilla servers: https://wiki.mozilla.org/IRC
If you want to change your nickname at any time, type "/nick NAMEYOUWANT" )
3. CHANNEL: "#depression_gaf depressionsucks"
(type in all the stuff in the quotation marks. #depression_gaf is the channel, and the depressionsucks part is the password to enter into the room)
4. Press the "CONNECT" button~!
(tabs on the top will display the different channels or private chats you are in)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADDRESS:
http://chat.mibbit.com
1. CONNECT: leave the server dropdown on mibbit
2. NICK: choose whatever nickname you want
(although if you want to reserve a nickname for yourself only, there are other steps you can take. I used this guide because it was easiest, even though we're not really in the mozilla servers: https://wiki.mozilla.org/IRC
If you want to change your nickname at any time, type "/nick NAMEYOUWANT" )
3. CHANNEL: "#depression_gaf depressionsucks"
(type in all the stuff in the quotation marks. #depression_gaf is the channel, and the depressionsucks part is the password to enter into the room)
4. Press the "CONNECT" button~!
(tabs on the top will display the different channels or private chats you are in)
No, I'm not to them yet. I don't feel lonely and having a couple is not my concern right now. School is now sucking my time but I feel like the day that I would have to come out to my father it would be a really bad day, so I always have to control myself to not look to handsome guys or I have to talk about women frequently so he doesn't notice, wich is very annoying because I have to do everything very carefully
Charoncaori
Member
I wish I had seen my mom again before she died. I kept putting it off because I wasn't strong enough to face her... And now I feel like the guilt of not giving her the one thing she really wanted is going to weigh on me for the rest of my life. It still hurts so much...
I can't sleep like this. Maybe the new my little pony is out somewhere... =/ I've got to stop trying to read Clamp comics, that shit's too heavy for me right now.
I can't sleep like this. Maybe the new my little pony is out somewhere... =/ I've got to stop trying to read Clamp comics, that shit's too heavy for me right now.
I get that all the time. That feel, I know it.
Feeling shitty with my third wheel status with my friends at the moment. I only socialize if I am invited to something, so I am at the mercy of whether they remember to invite me . Whenever I try to organise something, which is not often so it's not as if I am being clingy, they either "forget" to reply or bail out at the last minute. I do appreciate when they invite me to things, but it is depressing when it becomes apparent that I am such a low priority for them. They are a lot closer to each other and are also integrated into other circles, but I only have them as my friends. I'm sure I'll get over it tomorrow, I just needed to vent a bit.
BruiserBear
Banned
You know, my first thought when I saw your post was "hey, he asked someone out".
That first step can be really hard for a lot of people, but the fact that you took that step is great. If you just stay positive you'll find that girl who doesn't go into radio silence. lol
Trust me, I had no romantic life for a few years in my early 20's and then one day I met this girl, and 11 years later we're still together.
I gathered up the balls to ask a girl out while I was banned. The server at a pizza place my dad and I go to a lot.
The result:
I just give up. Even when I finally get someone to say yes, she actually means no.
That happened with me.....Exactly what your picture represents.Now ,we've been dating for 3 years
Stalk her ? the hell.....just show interest for a while,she'll start giving you a "challenge"...Then suddenly stop and see what happens.
Atramental
Banned
May I recommend slow carbing?
What's great about it is that you can basically go wild on the cheat day so long as you behave yourself for 6 days.
Collete
Member
Wait so you have a MBA?
What's it like having a MBA, do you enjoy the work, etc?
Agreed with Dice.
On another note Kevin, proud of you asking her out.
You're taking a positive step forward and the beginning of many good ones.
Just remember not all dumb girls are like her, you can do it.
I'm sorry about your situation as I don't know what advice to give without sounding ignorant.
If you like anime, may I suggest Lucky Star? That always made me laugh and it's lighthearted.
She was doing it for the tips or maybe something came up...?
Either way, you got a result. The world didn't end. And you can step up to level 2, and ask a second girl, yes?
Watch This: http://youtu.be/2L_cGjQSR80
Try something new, and you will surprise yourself and realise that your ability to achieve will widen.
We are all blind to what is around us at times, and sometimes we have to nudge ourselves around to realise how much space and possibility we have in our previously enclosed wall of fears and hopelessness.
I don't have to know you to love, or care about you. I do so for no religious reason either. You only need to forgive yourself, or give yourself a second chance to realise the possibilities of a better future, Hanging in there is the best way about it.
Try something new, and you will surprise yourself and realise that your ability to achieve will widen.
We are all blind to what is around us at times, and sometimes we have to nudge ourselves around to realise how much space and possibility we have in our previously enclosed wall of fears and hopelessness.
I don't have to know you to love, or care about you. I do so for no religious reason either. You only need to forgive yourself, or give yourself a second chance to realise the possibilities of a better future, Hanging in there is the best way about it.
you shouldn't give up, you should gather up more balls and talk to some more girls, there's plenty of fish in the pond. Good things in life are hard to get, keep at it.
How long you've been taking them?
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Nice that it worked out for you, but I wouldn't offer that tidbit to others as advice to remain hopeful. We live finite lives with a finite number of opportunities, and passing up several while hoping for one unresponsive girl to change her mind is an unwise risk.That happened with me.....Exactly what your picture represents.Now ,we've been dating for 3 years
I offer this wisdom for the guys and girls: http://feminspire.com/why-i-never-play-hard-to-get/
Been on fluoxetine 20mg for a month now.
So I was put on my initial two weeks of Celexa. Today I went to the free clinic to get a refill but I was not one of the first six people to get there so I was turned away. Now I can't keep on the medication for the 4 weeks to even start taking effect, and I can't make it to the clinic until next week with my job schedule. Feels bad to just get the ball rolling and have it stop.
SpartanForce
Member
I can relate to this. I weight 100kgs and I don't expect any girl to like me, so I don't even try anymore. But hey, I would rather be happy (on the meds I am) and fat, that miserable. If my price is to never get laid again, so be it.
Interesting video. I haven't listened to much of Alan Watts before, but he says a lot of powerful things in that video, among a few others I'm watching now.
Much love. <3
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