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Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Hey Depression GAF. Didn't know where else to turn, so...
I'm really depressed right now. I attend college and have a job, but I just don't feel happy at all. I never go out and do things because I don't feel motivated enough to do so. I spend most of my days on the Internet or sleeping. I have no friends, but I do have a girlfriend. I don't really see her very often, though. Once every few weeks. I don't get to talk to her much, either, and when we do, she doesn't cheer me up much anyway since she has her own shit going on.
I'd like to be happy, and I think the first step to that would be to make some friends, but I have absolutely no idea how to do so. I had tons of friends in high school but, since I left, I've had basically none. Any advice? Please?
I'm really depressed right now. I attend college and have a job, but I just don't feel happy at all. I never go out and do things because I don't feel motivated enough to do so. I spend most of my days on the Internet or sleeping. I have no friends, but I do have a girlfriend. I don't really see her very often, though. Once every few weeks. I don't get to talk to her much, either, and when we do, she doesn't cheer me up much anyway since she has her own shit going on.
I'd like to be happy, and I think the first step to that would be to make some friends, but I have absolutely no idea how to do so. I had tons of friends in high school but, since I left, I've had basically none. Any advice? Please?
There are people in your college classes right ?
Im not a US citizen but it should apply everywhere around the world.
Just be open and talk with people. I got into the 11 grade a few months ago and i didnt even know a single person there. Now its the opposite and i found a few very good friends + occasional friends. I know this sounds hard (im not shy but i fucking hate change) but its nothing really. Just dont think about it and dont just sit there quiet all by yourself.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Unfortunately I'm not really surrounded by people in my age group. I go to a community college and it's mostly older people or druggies that I just don't fit in with.
Collete
Member
I turned every stone in this house...
I think my brother stole it some time ago...
I think my aunt wouldn't mind me asking for money since she didn't give me anything for my birthday (she's the type to give money even though I don't want it.)
Just don't like asking her...
I know your plight.
When I attended college on campus, I had no motivation to get out of my dorm to do things on campus.
Because mainly I had no friends and I can't even socialize worth shit....
Do you think you're actually with the illness or just feeling down? There's two big differences. If it's the first, try to reach out to psychological services on campus. It's usually offered pretty cheaply and they can help you.
Even if it isn't the first, I think a first good step is taking it a day at a time. You want to make friends but have no motivation? Let's change that. Start small.
For instance, instead of going to a class straight away (assuming you have an hour long break before next class), take a longer route to get there or stop by a restaurant you normally wouldn't.
When that's done, take an even longer route and keep pushing yourself small to go outside your boundaries.
It's not easy but it is a start.
Eventually you might notice events taking place on campus later at night you might want to take a look at.
Just remember, if you're ever wondering why no one talks to you, it could be that the other person is wondering the same thing.
I'm sorry, I hope something I said in my labyrinth offers some help.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
I appreciate it, thank you. I don't live on campus, though, and I'm rarely actually there. I suppose I could spend more time on campus and check out the area. Maybe I'll run into some people who seem cool.
Depression runs in my family, but I'm honestly not sure I have the actual illness. I haven't been diagnosed. But I'm much more often sad than not. I constantly feel empty. Perhaps I should see a doctor when I start getting medical insurance.
Collete
Member
Shamelessly stolen from Bagel's post:
Screening Depression
Interpret Your Score
If you're interested, you can screen yourself, but we aren't exactly doctors, but it can be a good guidance tool.
But feel free to check the rest of the article as well.
Edit:
Yes technically Bagels is in medical school, but you get my point <_< Also your avatar is still awesome as I said before.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
I scored really high. Never really put much thought into it, but I'm beginning to notice how fucking sad I am all the time. I should probably be put on medication soon if things don't improve. I wish I had the motivation to fix things myself.
EDIT: Hahaha, thank you.
Collete
Member
I scored really high. Never really put much thought into it, but I'm beginning to notice how fucking sad I am all the time. I should probably be put on medication soon if things don't improve. I wish I had the motivation to fix things myself.
EDIT: Hahaha, thank you.
Don't think of it as chance to let yourself slip, all right? If you realize your sad all the time, take this opportunity to do something now rather than later before it gets worse without treatment (I am the result of that and it's not pretty...) Just don't wait too long to realize you need help.
Can your girlfriend be any source of motivation to do better for yourself?
Edit: You're welcome
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
well thanks for answering me, guess i am not the only one who feel this way. I guess changes scare me :/
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Don't think of it as chance to let yourself slip, all right? If you realize your sad all the time, take this opportunity to do something now rather than later before it gets worse without treatment (I am the result of that and it's not pretty...) Just don't wait too long to realize you need help.
Can your girlfriend be any source of motivation to do better for yourself?
Edit: You're welcome
My girlfriend is the reason I'm in college, working, and... still alive, to be honest. If it weren't for her, I'd be in a much darker place right now. I fear, however, if I don't turn things around that she'll be fed up with me and want to move on to someone happier. This alone should be enough to motivate me, but I just can't seem to kick myself into gear. To be honest, I haven't actually started work yet. I start soon, though, so this will hopefully motivate me to do things.
Collete
Member
It could be the fact you're already sad that it's hard to pick yourself up, I get that.
However, the sooner you get yourself help, the better chance you'll recover effectively.
If you two have been together for a long time, maybe she'll understand how you're scared she'll get fed up with you.
Have you talked to your girlfriend about this fear and what you're feeling now?
But chances are if you two been together for a long time, she's not going to leave you easily over something that can be solved.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
We've been together for nearly two years. Yeah, I'm talking to her right now about it. She's telling me she loves me and will always be by my side. This actually helps a lot, as some of my anxiety stems from potentially losing the one person who helps.
I'm going to call and set up an appointment with a doctor relatively soon to be prescribed a low dosage of antidepressants. I really appreciate your help, Oomikami. Thank you so much.
I'm in a terrible mood today. I feel like I don't deserve to live, everyone is better than me at everything, I don't want to live anymore if I'm not going to be of use. I hate myself and everyone should hate because I am a horrible person with a bad personality and even physically I am awful. I wish there was an easy way to get out of this pain, I hate living, but I am so idiot that I don't even have the strength to kill myself. I am a coward and I am stupid. I hate this
Collete
Member
Glad to be of some sort of help, we're still here if ya need us.
Feel the same way as well...
I just want to OD and be done with it but my body got immune to nearly every substance I give it now....I just want it to end as well.
But there's a 9.999999999/10 chance you're a better human being than me (don't let my posts here fool you).
You're not a coward, you're courageous for still living and dealing with all of this....
Cowardice is now ODing nearly every week....and then hoping someone gives a flying fuck...It's pathetic for me...
Really sorry for wigging out, guys. That's exactly the kind of thing I tell people DOES NOT help. And, you know what? It really does not help to cut yourself off from your support system. Thanks to an extra-special depression-GAF buddy who texts me every day to keep me from just completely shutting down. Noah, you're unreal. You've cheered me up so much. <3
[If you have any positive vibes to send my way, please do. I'm dealing with some serious shit.]
Let's keep at this, people. I'll toss the contact list back up in a bit. It's corny as shit, but the fucking buddy system, man! I felt (and still feel) supremely weird that several of my depression-GAF buddies have my actual, real life, you-know-my-name-isn't-really-bagels(!), you've-heard-my-annoying-voice, phone number, but it's powerful stuff. I can run away from every possible way people have to contact me online and people are still looking after me! And it makes me feel silly for running away. Calling you guys "depression-GAF buddies" actually strikes me as incredibly stupid - I'm not sure why I did that. You're not my "GAF buddies," or "online friends," or whatever other stupid way I have to qualify it - you're my friends, period.
Find someone in the thread you can really identify with. We come from all walks of life, from all over the globe. You need at least one person who can still find you if you're banned, or who will look for you if you disappear for a while. It may not feel like it, but we notice when people stop showing up. There are a lot of people who read EVERY post in this thread. In fact, that seems to be the norm for the regulars (go into chat and you'll find that there are people still waiting to have their GAF accounts approved who read this thread religiously, and appreciate the shit out of the things that people like the indispensable Oomikami do). It's a VERY close-knit community - a bunch of us were in chat the other day and it was seriously like a group of old friends.
Just to pick on two of you, I know that Windam and Smiley watch each others' backs. I'll get a message from Windam saying, "Hey, Smiley seems really down. Can you just say hi and give him a little support?" That helps a TON because I know Smiley's a busy guy, so I'm not necessarily going to pick up on a lack of posts from him as meaning he's withdrawing a bit. But if you have that one person who you just check in with every day, who has an extra email, skype, even your phone number, who can rally the troops when you need us, that's how you can really, really feel like part of the community. There's no prerequisite to "get in" - you don't have to be depressed THIS MUCH, or post x number of times, or have any secret knowledge of depression. Every one of my closest friendships in this thread started with a single PM (I have over 1000 PMs now and it's unreal how genuine, heartfelt, touching, etc most of them are).
These things always turn into manifestos with me. But I take kind of a Braveheart approach to depression - you meet that shit on the field of battle! Depression is like those English fuckers who expect the Scottish to come out and kiss their arses and then William Wallace rides around them on his fucking insane horse and tells them he's going to fucking kill them and then he totally does thisisarunonsentence FREEEDDDOOOMMMM!
Let's fight this sumbitch. Find someone you're willing to fight for and odds are they'll want to fight for you, too. This community never ceases to amaze me.
And, hey, I don't have nearly enough penpals. People can attest that I love writing letters and I'll totally write to you faithfully, even if you give me the wrong address and I end up sending some stranger a heartfelt letter and have to write you all over again...Pau!
[If you have any positive vibes to send my way, please do. I'm dealing with some serious shit.]
Let's keep at this, people. I'll toss the contact list back up in a bit. It's corny as shit, but the fucking buddy system, man! I felt (and still feel) supremely weird that several of my depression-GAF buddies have my actual, real life, you-know-my-name-isn't-really-bagels(!), you've-heard-my-annoying-voice, phone number, but it's powerful stuff. I can run away from every possible way people have to contact me online and people are still looking after me! And it makes me feel silly for running away. Calling you guys "depression-GAF buddies" actually strikes me as incredibly stupid - I'm not sure why I did that. You're not my "GAF buddies," or "online friends," or whatever other stupid way I have to qualify it - you're my friends, period.
Find someone in the thread you can really identify with. We come from all walks of life, from all over the globe. You need at least one person who can still find you if you're banned, or who will look for you if you disappear for a while. It may not feel like it, but we notice when people stop showing up. There are a lot of people who read EVERY post in this thread. In fact, that seems to be the norm for the regulars (go into chat and you'll find that there are people still waiting to have their GAF accounts approved who read this thread religiously, and appreciate the shit out of the things that people like the indispensable Oomikami do). It's a VERY close-knit community - a bunch of us were in chat the other day and it was seriously like a group of old friends.
Just to pick on two of you, I know that Windam and Smiley watch each others' backs. I'll get a message from Windam saying, "Hey, Smiley seems really down. Can you just say hi and give him a little support?" That helps a TON because I know Smiley's a busy guy, so I'm not necessarily going to pick up on a lack of posts from him as meaning he's withdrawing a bit. But if you have that one person who you just check in with every day, who has an extra email, skype, even your phone number, who can rally the troops when you need us, that's how you can really, really feel like part of the community. There's no prerequisite to "get in" - you don't have to be depressed THIS MUCH, or post x number of times, or have any secret knowledge of depression. Every one of my closest friendships in this thread started with a single PM (I have over 1000 PMs now and it's unreal how genuine, heartfelt, touching, etc most of them are).
These things always turn into manifestos with me. But I take kind of a Braveheart approach to depression - you meet that shit on the field of battle! Depression is like those English fuckers who expect the Scottish to come out and kiss their arses and then William Wallace rides around them on his fucking insane horse and tells them he's going to fucking kill them and then he totally does thisisarunonsentence FREEEDDDOOOMMMM!
Let's fight this sumbitch. Find someone you're willing to fight for and odds are they'll want to fight for you, too. This community never ceases to amaze me.
And, hey, I don't have nearly enough penpals. People can attest that I love writing letters and I'll totally write to you faithfully, even if you give me the wrong address and I end up sending some stranger a heartfelt letter and have to write you all over again...Pau!
You are very intelligent and you always give sound advice. Heidern as well.
Even those who do not suffer from mental illnesses fear change. It's a scary thing no doubt but that fear can be overcome. I'm scared to death of change but I can't let it hold me back anymore.
You're not a coward and not a bad person. You are here giving advice and trying to help people despite suffering yourself. That's admirable. That's brave. People in this thread give a damn about you. We don't want you or anyone else to hurt themselves.
I don't know what you are going through, it sounds like some really difficult times, but I hope everything works out in the end. You've done a lot of good for people and for that we are truly grateful. I was actually going to send you a PM or email to see if you were doing okay but I wanted to respect your privacy. Sorry I never wrote you a letter back. I'm a horrible penpal. I wish you the best of luck my friend.
It's never too late to write back! Seriously - it would mean a ton to me. Just jot down a few lines! I'll even write back! It feels really crappy to write and not have it spark even a tiny exchange. If this is Braveheart, you can totally be Robert the Bruce. Like, you've betrayed the shit out me, you ass, but you can still unite Scotland and, like, redeem yourself and avenge me. But I'm not dead and you can't have my dead wife's handkerchief, because she's not dead either and that's just creepy. Also, unlike Mel Gibson, I think Jewish people are A-OK!
In the Year of our Lord [2013], patriots of [depression-GAF]- starving and outnumbered - charged the fields of [depression?]. They fought like warrior poets; they fought like Scotsmen[?], and won their [happiness].
This isn't working. I need to pick a different movie metaphor.
And what the shit is a warrior poet?!? I think the closest thing we have is Prax...who, come to think of it, seriously guys - who doesn't love Prax? And she has her struggles and has been right there with us all. Take some inspiration from her!
Sorry if I'm more deranged than usual. Trying to distract myself AND be helpful AND I've had a ton of caffeine and am feverish. Just...humor me, okay?
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
So last night I had some sort of epiphany where I promised to better myself simply using all my will power. Things were going well until I started to be stupid texting my girlfriend this morning. I kept questioning her about stupid stuff that doesn't even matter for no good reason. This probably stems from my insecurities; I'm not normally like that. I've been acting this way with her for three weeks, I guess. I've been going through mood swings like a pregnant woman and I'm very conscious of it but fuck I can't control it. I don't know how to cope with and fix my mood swings.
Collete
Member
I'm no better of a person than anyone else.
I just never see that people give a damn about me when I need it...
Did your girlfriend get bothered by those texts?
Even if she did, it isn't stupid.
One of my main philosophies now adopted to this thread, if it's stuff that bothers you that you think is stupid, don't think like that. It's bothering you, that's more enough reason to worry and be concerned.
Did you make the appointment with your doctor yet? Please do it relatively soon, as I said before, the sooner you do this, the better you'll be treated effectively.
A psychologist wouldn't hurt as well in combination with drugs.
Also those mood swings can be the depression talking, it's all right, that's normal. You can fix it as well if you find your way to a psychologist. It seems you're already aware they happen but can't control it. One of Prax's strategy that I'll suggest to you is in the middle of your mood swings think: "I want some pizza(candy, or whatever)" and then go get it and eat it. Make sure to savor each bite. What this can do is probably offset the feelings a bit and it will be focused on the pizza. (You can go as far as thinking the pizza is your depression and you eating is the fact that you're trying your best to conquer it...It's a bit of a stretch, but if it works, it works.)
Also your contribution to Bish's thread of lighting one of his students shall not be forgotten. It still brings tears of laughter to my eyes haha
I OD'd again last night but increased the dosage.
Now I slept a bit longer and body became almost immobile. I think I'm getting somewhere.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Yeah, she was pretty bothered. I'm realizing that they're faults of my own. I promised her that I'll fix it.
I haven't made an appointment yet since I'd originally planned to at my Zepf Center, which is closed on weekends. I think I'm gonna put off treatment for now since I'd like to get through this on my own. If it worsens, I'll contact a doctor.
This is wonderful advice, thank you! Also, thanks for the recognition.
Making GIFs is so fun for me. It puts me in a good mood.Whoa now, this is crazy. I'm reciprocating your advice: therapy and meds. Suicide is seriously not an option. My best friend killed himself and it affected MANY people. He was likely in a similar place as you; he felt no one cared and that he was shit and didn't deserve to live. Instead of ODing, please talk to someone. You can PM me. Seriously.
Collete
Member
NO! NO!
Do not do this. I strongly do not recommend thinking you can handle this on your own. Don't do the same mistake I did...I thought I could handle it on my own and you know how long I prolonged depression? For 4-5 freaking years. I understand there's some pride and self accomplishment for doing things on your own, but that's the same thinking as if you had cancer that you can beat this on your own. Fact is you can't do that cancer, and you can't do that to depression because it is an illness. A real blown illness. There are very few people in the world that can handle this shit on your own. If you think this, you will prolong treatment for however long (don't be fooled by thinking you'll make a promise to go to therapy on X date if you don't get better). Do not think you can through this on your own. Contact your doctor on Monday and get scheduled for treatment on that same day (well you don't have to go to therapy on that same day, but just make an appointment). Please.
This is wonderful advice, thank you! Also, thanks for the recognition.
Whoa now, this is crazy. I'm reciprocating your advice: therapy and meds. Suicide is seriously not an option. My best friend killed himself and it affected MANY people. He was likely in a similar place as you; he felt no one cared and that he was shit and didn't deserve to live. Instead of ODing, please talk to someone. You can PM me. Seriously.
Well you're seeing the result of many years of neglect, lack of treatment, medication, and lack of very little public services needed for mental health.
I'm accepting this as my only route, don't worry about that.
What you should worry is if you think you can handle it on your own, you'll end probably close to someone like me. So make that appointment. Don't think you can handle it on your own.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Perhaps you're right. It may be a good idea to put myself on a low dosage of antidepressants to work in convergence with my own efforts. It'll be a fallback if I don't get better easily. I wouldn't say I'm severely depressed; mildly so, maybe. I'll be sure to make the call on Monday.
How old are you, Oomikami? I'm curious.
Collete
Member
It doesn't matter if you have mild/severe depression. It's like weeds. The longer you neglect it, the bigger it becomes and the faster rate of infection it will become.
I had mild depression back in the day and now it's where it is. Full blown MDD.
It starts small and becomes a big ass illness. Don't be fooled because it's mild it won't get worse. It can without proper treatment and care.
And good. Keep us updated, if you can.
I turned 22 a few days ago.
(Please do not suggest to me that I have a full life ahead, I heard that before...)
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Thank you for the advice. Also, I know I can't necessarily understand how you feel, but I really mean it... Any time you need someone to talk to, shoot me a PM. I often feel alone and I'm sure you do, too, so I think this could benefit us both greatly.
SteveWinwood
Member
I love you all.
Damn, so I'm not part of the community. Well, off I go
Nice post, I'm glad many of you found the support you need here, with fellow GAFfers. Or as you said, fellow human beings (unless some of you are not human, but I doubt it!) I wish everything goes right for you Bags, you don't deserve the shit you may be going through (no one here does, mind you). Seriously, let me know if you need someone to talk, though I wonder whether I could actually be of any help to anybody.
I'm afraid I might have just pissed off a friend of mine, after showing a lack of disinterest on some project he wanted us to do (learn how to program and develop video games). And yes, I know it's gonna fail completely, but I should have still tried to do it anyway. I mean, we tried to make some DOS games and I wasn't enjoying it, even though my childhood's dream was becoming a games programmer.
As he said, I'll need to fix my self-steem problems and all that shit, or become a total failure forever. Sadly I already know which one of these is going to happen... And I think it has already happened.
FUCK IT girl, don't ever do it again! Please, just don't. I know I'm only a random guy on an internet forum whom you'll never see in your life, but still: I don't want you to kill yourself. I'm sure there must be another way, and even if there isn't, you'll never know until you've tried. Listen to BigEvilTurtle, that's 2 of us telling you not to do it vs. 0 people telling you to do it. Talk to him, talk to me if you feel like it, talk to anybody, do something you like, but please don't do it.
User 100115
Banned
I tell Oomi to stop trying all the time. It hurts my heart to think of her being gone. 
I tell Oomi to stop trying all the time. It hurts my heart to think of her being gone.
.
yes. this reminds me of a section from one of my favourite books - the little prince
the little prince is on his tiny planet and her stresses the importance of digging out the boabab plants when they're small
otherwise they'll grow and consume the entire place
so take care to watch out for and deal with baobabs.
basically for those feeling these issues then go get help of any kind. i wish i'd done it much earlier and am glad i'm dealing with my issues now.
p.s please don't overdose oomi. we love you and you have so much to give.
Things don't get better they get worse. Why stick around at all.
Why bother with life some people are just lucky and others like me are born losers. I'll never met anyone ever. Why doesn't life just kill me now.
If I took all my pills in one sitting I probably still be alive to suffer.
I bought myself a samurai sword I might kill myself with it instead
Why bother with life some people are just lucky and others like me are born losers. I'll never met anyone ever. Why doesn't life just kill me now.
If I took all my pills in one sitting I probably still be alive to suffer.
I bought myself a samurai sword I might kill myself with it instead
Tears For Fears
Banned
There is a million reasons I could give, but it wouldnt matter, because once you have this train of thought, nothing seems insightful and anyone who tries to say "things will get better, oh we love you," all seem like patronizing assholes. Only you can really find the answer why life is worth living. I did, and it wasn't jumping out of a car on a major highway at speeds excess of forty mph. So suicide might be the answer for some, but it wasn't for me, and although I got to that point in my life, I don't regret what I've done, it opened my eyes to something bigger. I'm really just glad to be given a second chance. So like I said It's up to you to figure out what's best. Some people will see this as poor advice, but there lies another problem, many want to project their advice on to you,instead of fully understanding your reasons or motivations.
grap3fruitman
Banned
I'm having a one-third-life crisis. I turn 26 this month, I still haven't learned to socialize and as a result I've never had a girlfriend and don't exactly have friends either. I live at home but we lose the house on the 4th and don't have a place lined up so I'm under pressure to buy a home for us but we can't find anything. On top of that, my mom's dying and her crying, which is completely justified, makes me feel an indescribable kind of uncomfortable. I'm also still horribly depressed and every day I think about how I would just like to end things but can't because I have a lot of people depending on me at the moment.
Me too...
I also feel down sometimes but not to that extend.
Wish I could help you guys but I know words from a stranger wouldn't do shit.
Megidolaon
Member
Anyone else have really unsupportive family members when it comes to depression? I've struggled with depression since middle/high school, a time in my life that was full of stress and difficulty. It eventually became full on clinical depression and took on a life of its own.
For years I suffered in silence. My mom didn't want to get me treatment since she thought any medication would have caused me to become one of those deranged people who kill themselves. My condition got worse and worse and I got a lot of scorn from my family members. I would get called lazy, useless, crazy, selfish, worthless, and when I gained weight, fat. This made it even worse and I literally had no self esteem and even more depressed.
I was made to believe the deperession was my fault and I was just an unhappy person and I needed to just get over it. I came dangerously close to taking my own life at times.
I have no insurance and no job, so I have no real way to get help and my family (the ones that are still alive) has no desire to help me with this since they don't understand depression. They think I'm just lazy. I've gotten tremendous relief from certain meds in the past and they have completely restored my quality of life. But I no longer have insurance or access to any.
I've talked to family before about meds but they think that all meds for depression make you a drug addict and pill popper. It just really sucks.
For years I suffered in silence. My mom didn't want to get me treatment since she thought any medication would have caused me to become one of those deranged people who kill themselves. My condition got worse and worse and I got a lot of scorn from my family members. I would get called lazy, useless, crazy, selfish, worthless, and when I gained weight, fat. This made it even worse and I literally had no self esteem and even more depressed.
I was made to believe the deperession was my fault and I was just an unhappy person and I needed to just get over it. I came dangerously close to taking my own life at times.
I have no insurance and no job, so I have no real way to get help and my family (the ones that are still alive) has no desire to help me with this since they don't understand depression. They think I'm just lazy. I've gotten tremendous relief from certain meds in the past and they have completely restored my quality of life. But I no longer have insurance or access to any.
I've talked to family before about meds but they think that all meds for depression make you a drug addict and pill popper. It just really sucks.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
All of a sudden everyone is treating me really poorly. I don't know why, but it's making it hard to be happy.
SpartanForce
Member
I'm not really depressed, but I'm feeling very kinda of high-slow. Strange.
Collete
Member
Guys, I appreciate for your concern and well wishes, but at the end of the day...
I'm the one going to bed feeling like shit...I'm the one suffering every day...I'm not going to be loved...
I just want this to end once and for all.
Who is treating you bad?
I'm the one going to bed feeling like shit...I'm the one suffering every day...I'm not going to be loved...
I just want this to end once and for all.
Who is treating you bad?
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Specifically? An old friend and my girlfriend. The only people I've really communicated with today, honestly. Specifically my girlfriend, though. I'm trying to owe her cold attitude to her possibly being in a bad mood, but she was acting weird tonight and treating me kind of poorly. Very cold and uncaring. /: I was doing great up until speaking with her.
Collete
Member
Have you confronted her why she is like this?
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
She claims she doesn't know what I'm talking about, but I can tell when something's not right usually. Maybe I'm being too paranoid and insecure?
Collete
Member
I have this dilemma with my boyfriend currently. I'm still unsure which is correct, him being a really nice guy or being an ignorant jerk.
Depression can cloud your perspective on other people as well in what they say and over analyze a phrase.
I can't tell you which is correct in your case since I wasn't there.
But really think about what exact words were said and determine from there if you might have misread it, over analyzed it, or took it the complete wrong way.
Edit: I don't recommend thinking about the phrases when you're depressed, it'll just make you biased in what is said or not said.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
This is really good advice, wow. Thank you. I'm probably just overreacting and over-analyzing the whole thing. I saw her last night and we had a wonderful time, as usual. Sometimes I feel like my mood is too heavily influenced by my relationship. I need to work on that.
Trust me, you are not alone with this. At all.
It's not good though, I'm feeling that all the more now that I'm out of that relationship I so heavily relied upon. Feels like I've lost some purpose in life.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
That's exactly why I get so scared and insecure about it. If I lost her, I don't know what I'd do. It's such a disconcerting thought.
Agent Cooper
Member
I did a thing and went to a therapist last Thursday?
Don't know if I mentioned that here. I'm going again this Thursday.
It was anxiety-inducing even going there.
But it made me all weird and emotional and he called me cool and I cried about it later.
I am a hot mess, I guess. But I'm trying, and I hope that counts for something.
Don't know if I mentioned that here. I'm going again this Thursday.
It was anxiety-inducing even going there.
But it made me all weird and emotional and he called me cool and I cried about it later.
I am a hot mess, I guess. But I'm trying, and I hope that counts for something.
User 100115
Banned
That counts for everything. You can't get better if you don't try, so count this as a total victory! Keep fighting.
So I signed up for a seminar this week too... It's after all my exams are over, so I'll be less stressed.
Not that I'll be able to talk about my feelings in front of a group of strange people at all, because god knows it's hard enough in front of a SINGLE person i can trust, but I'll give it a shot.
Not that I'll be able to talk about my feelings in front of a group of strange people at all, because god knows it's hard enough in front of a SINGLE person i can trust, but I'll give it a shot.
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