Did I just get dated?

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I feel you OP, shit's rough.
From now on, to be on the safe side, you should start each interaction with a new person by having them sign a form that makes it clear they must be completely upfront about their intentions with you.
 
Greddleok said:
I waved, I feel a little violated.
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kavanf1 said:
Chapter 2: GAF, I met this girl recently and she kept acting friendly every time we were together. What was even weirder was she always seemed to just want to spend time with me on my own. This happened like five times and it scared the hell out of me, especially as we had loads to talk about and we seemed to have a lot in common. Then last night she invited me back to her house and we were sitting on her bed and she put her hand on my peepee. I got up and got the hell out of there because that made me feel dizzy and confused and honestly pretty violated. What gave her the right to touch my special area like that? Is this rape? I'm not sure if I should call the cops on her.
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The thread we deserve.
 
Galang said:
My friend does this to guys all the time. Definitely a date
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Many modern dudes lack assertiveness honestly. Female friends of mine complain about it all the time. It's hard for girls out there, dudes.

Women have to settle for vague, indirect invites these days to get any traction.
 
entremet said:
Many modern dudes lack assertiveness honestly. Female friends of mine complain about it all the time. It's hard for girls out there, dudes.

Women have to settle for vague, indirect invites these days to get any traction.
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They really don't, it's not hard for women at all.

"Would you like to go out some time?"

Unless you were being sarcastic, it's hard to tell who's socially adjusted in this thread.
 
Stop saying "dated" like it's a thing and as if you were conned.

You're weird as hell.
 
Sounds like she was trying to get to know you. She may like you, maybe it was a pre-emptive date, but nothing harmful in that.

Sounds like you were a bit shocked and some social awkwardness kicked in, but I'm sure she never meant that to be the intention.

I had someone pull shit like this on me a couple times and I ended up marrying her.
 
Greddleok said:
I moved jobs and country since last December.
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Take it from a guy who missed shitloads of opportunities due to being too dense about girls' intentions while I was single: if something's not clear to you, just ask. Girls appreciate assertiveness.
 
ZeroX03 said:
They really don't, it's not hard for women at all.

"Would you like to go out some time?"

Unless you were being sarcastic, it's hard to tell who's socially adjusted in this thread.
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The dude still has to accept. The dude still need to make the move eventually.

Regardless how egalitarian gender roles have become, there are still conventions that are part of common behavior in the heterosexual dating scene.

We had a recent thread about this and the back and forth was sure, it's great women can be direct and assertive, but women, as a whole, are not doing this, even in Western nations.
 
Kid Ska said:
Would you have gone if you knew it would just be the two of you?
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Sure. I just want to know what I'm getting in to so I can prepare. Gotta be in a different state of mind to chat to a group of people and make friends to talk to one person in a date format.

RhynoTheStriker said:
And apparently you've dated since then, so did that go to shit or something recently? Is that why you don't want to date? Just curious.
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Just dated a girl at work recently for a few weeks and it's pretty awkward now. We broke up because we weren't really compatible in terms of personality, just attracted to each other. Not really interested in dating for a little while so I can let the awkwardness fade a little.
 
Waves goodbye as he gently tips his fedora down.
His eyes have a glare that assure her that he would never be tricked again. He is a loyal friend zone member for life.
 
Greddleok said:
The worst part was the goodbye. I didn't know whether to hug her or what. So I gave an awkward wave and hastily went in another direction.
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OP, are you me?

In fact, this whole story reminds me of the time a girl I fancied the pants off invited me around to her place to watch The Big Lebowski. Conveniently, her DVD player "wasn't working", so we took her dogs for a walk instead.
 
Greddleok said:
Sure. I just want to know what I'm getting in to so I can prepare. Gotta be in a different state of mind to chat to a group of people and make friends to talk to one person in a date format.
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What? Just talk. What is with the need to overthink things...
 
kavanf1 said:
Chapter 2: GAF, I met this girl recently and she kept acting friendly every time we were together. What was even weirder was she always seemed to just want to spend time with me on my own. This happened like five times and it scared the hell out of me, especially as we had loads to talk about and we seemed to have a lot in common. Then last night she invited me back to her house and we were sitting on her bed and she put her hand on my peepee. I got up and got the hell out of there because that made me feel dizzy and confused and honestly pretty violated. What gave her the right to touch my special area like that? Is this rape? I'm not sure if I should call the cops on her.
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LMAO. I'm screaming
 
entremet said:
The dude still has to accept. The dude still need to make the move eventually.

Regardless how egalitarian gender roles have become, there are still conventions that are part of common behavior in the heterosexual dating scene.

We had a recent thread about this and the back and forth was sure, it's great women can be direct and assertive, but women, as a whole, are not doing this, even in Western nations.
Click to expand...

It's not the guy's fault for a woman being too passive to ask him out. It's not hard to ask someone out, your female friends are making it hard for themselves.
 
entremet said:
Many modern dudes lack assertiveness honestly. Female friends of mine complain about it all the time. It's hard for girls out there, dudes.

Women have to settle for vague, indirect invites these days to get any traction.
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I have this girl friend that is amazed at how forward I am. And I think to myself, I'm just asking them out lol. Guys are wimps.
 
1. This thread is utterly ridiculous is the best possible way.

2. Just communicate with her. As a 31 year old with too much experience in these things (not trying to boast). Its always the best thing
 
kavanf1 said:
Chapter 2: GAF, I met this girl recently and she kept acting friendly every time we were together. What was even weirder was she always seemed to just want to spend time with me on my own. This happened like five times and it scared the hell out of me, especially as we had loads to talk about and we seemed to have a lot in common. Then last night she invited me back to her house and we were sitting on her bed and she put her hand on my peepee. I got up and got the hell out of there because that made me feel dizzy and confused and honestly pretty violated. What gave her the right to touch my special area like that? Is this rape? I'm not sure if I should call the cops on her.
Click to expand...

I'm gonna get fired for laughing this hard at work. Peepee lmao
 
Greddleok said:
So I'm new in this town and a girl at my gym invited me to lunch with her and her colleagues from the university's psychology department. Seemed friendly enough so I accepted.

When I turned up, it was just her. We also ended up talking for way longer than I would if I was eating lunch with other buddies. I started freaking out a little towards to end because I wasn't prepared for that kind of interaction so I decided it was time to go after about an hour of talking.
The worst part was the goodbye. I didn't know whether to hug her (see my previous thread) or what. So I gave an awkward wave and hastily went in another direction.

I'm so confused. Was I tricked into a date? I didn't ask where her friends were because I didn't want to be presumptuous. I feel a little violated.
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This was op.
krabs_rag3do.jpg
 
kavanf1 said:
Chapter 2: GAF, I met this girl recently and she kept acting friendly every time we were together. What was even weirder was she always seemed to just want to spend time with me on my own. This happened like five times and it scared the hell out of me, especially as we had loads to talk about and we seemed to have a lot in common. Then last night she invited me back to her house and we were sitting on her bed and she put her hand on my peepee. I got up and got the hell out of there because that made me feel dizzy and confused and honestly pretty violated. What gave her the right to touch my special area like that? Is this rape? I'm not sure if I should call the cops on her.
Click to expand...

lmao

definitely rape though
 
OP, I'm so sorry to hear about this. It must've been an awful predicament to find yourself. I sincerely hope I never find myself being asked out by a girl when I'm new in town.
 
You waved lmao

Greddleok said:
I'm more just shocked that someone could use such an underhanded tactic to arrange a one-on-one meeting.

I eat lunch with my co-workers who are women and men all the time one-on-one, and I've never felt like I was being dated. It's just a friendly lunch. It's the fact I was lead to believe there would be multiple people. Multiple people means it's friendly.
Also the questions where standard date fare.

Probably over thinking it, but it was super weird.

I'm not looking to date. She was cute. I'm late 20s. I also have no idea if she has a boyfriend/husband/partner.

Violated was an exaggeration.
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UNDERHANDED TACTIC LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
entremet said:
They're all over dating apps. They go to bars. They flirt. But the dude still needs to escalate. They're good looking as well.

But I would agree there are other dynamics at play.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/13/b...ics-the-sex-myth-and-modern-romance.html?_r=0
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I think both partners have a responsibility to escalate, but that responsibility starts when someone directly shows interest in the other (not vague flirting). Once a person says "let's date", the ball is in the other person's court. Until then, don't be upset someone isn't responding to vague coffee meet ups.

Although if dudes aren't sealing the deal on dating apps, where that's the goal of the interaction, that's on them.

I've been meaning to read Modern Romance.
 
Greddleok said:
So I'm new in this town and a girl at my gym invited me to lunch with her and her colleagues from the university's psychology department. Seemed friendly enough so I accepted.

When I turned up, it was just her. We also ended up talking for way longer than I would if I was eating lunch with other buddies. I started freaking out a little towards to end because I wasn't prepared for that kind of interaction so I decided it was time to go after about an hour of talking.

The worst part was the goodbye. I didn't know whether to hug her (see my previous thread) or what. So I gave an awkward wave and hastily went in another direction.

I'm so confused. Was I tricked into a date? I didn't ask where her friends were because I didn't want to be presumptuous. I feel a little violated.
Click to expand...
Shocked-CM-Punk.gif



You went on a surprise date, she didnt put something in your drink and rape you. Compared to where I hear alott of guys have to ask the woman out I find this rather refreshing.
 
Her friends may have bailed for various reasons. Or maybe she did want to chat you up.

I hope it wasn't obvious with your body language that you were "freaked out." You sound like someone that might be a bit oblivious to that. Because if it was just a casual lunch she's probably thinking "Why is he being so weird?" and if it wasn't she's probably thinking "Ok, never mind." I know you're not trying to date but still not an impression you want to give.

Basically: just chill bruh.
 
GAF, I was invited to a party where everyone dressed up really formally and there was this really old dude dressed as a priest who made me repeat these weird things to the person who asked me to come to the party. Then I had to give her a ring and cut some cake with her with two figures on top that resembled us. Are all gyms like this?
 
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