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[Suerte]

Do you guys usually make the first move on someone, or wait for them to make a move on you? Waaaah. Tonight I went to a gay bar, gay bar for the first time in a good long while with some friends and an ex. All night me and this guy kept making eye contact, he even followed me to the bar at one point and we smiled at each other etc. However, I was fed up of always making the first move on someone so I decided to play it cool but when I got over that I went to look for him and he had gone home. The weird thing is one of his friends asked me out, eh, I didn't like him as much but I asked him to pass on my phone number, rude? Probably but this guy was worth it. Hurrah. Obviously the guy won't pass on my phone number though Gays suck.

 

[videogamer]

imho it's better to play hard to get

and yeah, it seems kind of rude to ask him to pass along the phone number, like he isn't worth it

 

[Vormund]

Gays suck.

Are they any good though? eh? EH?

 

[Alucard]

I'm a total dork when it comes to making moves. But yeah...I guess I'm usually the one who initiates it.

 

[Leon]

All night me and this guy kept making eye contact, he even followed me to the bar at one point and we smiled at each other etc.

That was the first, second, third, etc...move, all made by both of you. The rest should have been automatic, regardless of who initiates what. I hate that "first move" shit. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist anymore. The first move, to me, consists of everything that precedes the actual conversation. Body language, eye contact, etc...As soon as you're sure he's looking at you and not the guy behind you, go for it.

Gays don't suck. You suck.

How long until your next miserable drunk thread?

 

[Boogie]

It would be far too generous to call my pathetic attempts at pursuing women "making a move", but I sure as hell haven't had any women making any first moves towards me.

 

[nitewulf]

damn, leowned.

ps: cant believe i actually typed that.

 

[warabi-mochi]

Depends on the situation. Usually if I can tell someone seems interested I'll go first. No point in wasting time and letting one get away. If signals seem a little bit mixed, I'll wait it out.

 

[Suerte]

Gah, I'm not drunk. Don't make me feel more pathetic than I already am. Why should I always be the one who strikes up conversation? Anyway, I'm sure I'll bump into him again. Why is it when you're looking for someone you don't find anyone, then once you give up a few come along at once? His friend wasn't the only one to ask me out but I had my sights set so much on this guy that I didn't give him a fair try, I need to txt him and apologise. My situation is so different to theirs though, they've all had a chance to "play the field" I've not really had a chance, or believe myself, that I could do that until recently.

 

[Cubsfan23]

It would be far too generous to call my pathetic attempts at pursuing women "making a move", but I sure as hell haven't had any women making any first moves towards me.

I thought you would be a player by now

 

[Hitman]

ewwwwwwwwwwww

 

[Boogie]

I thought you would be a player by now

Only in my mind.....

okay, not even there

Dammit, why must you torment me so? ;P

 

[Suerte]

ewwwwwwwwwwww

Grow up.

 

[way more]

I wait for it. Then I keep them them coming by maintaining the tension. It doesn't always work so I can't really suggest it.

 

[warabi-mochi]

Gah, I'm not drunk. Don't make me feel more pathetic than I already am. Why should I always be the one who strikes up conversation? Anyway, I'm sure I'll bump into him again. Why is it when you're looking for someone you don't find anyone, then once you give up a few come along at once? His friend wasn't the only one to ask me out but I had my sights set so much on this guy that I didn't give him a fair try, I need to txt him and apologise. My situation is so different to theirs though, they've all had a chance to "play the field" I've not really had a chance, or believe myself, that I could do that until recently.

After awhile I found the trick was just not to go "looking" in the first place. Go out with friends, have fun and be confident. Usually if you're just out enjoying yourself people will, at least initially anyway, figure you're the type of person they'd like to be around. That generally causes them to make the 'first move' more than anything else.

Besides, if someone is watching you and making lots of eye contact, then you've both already got the first move part out of the way. I don't really think it matters who strikes up the conversation by this point in time.

 

[Makura]

I get flirting sometimes, but I always have to make the first "move".

 

[way more]

Wait, what sort of move are we talking about?

 

[FoneBone]

At this point, I have yet to make any moves on anybody. Then again, I don't know that many people all that well... but even so, I'm still way too shy to hit on anyone for now.

 

[warabi-mochi]

I'd assume the sort of moves that lead from anything to getting a phone number, to eight hours of sordid sexual escapades.

 

[way more]

I'd assume the sort of moves that lead from anything to getting a phone number, to eight hours of sordid sexual escapades.

Those are all sorts of moves in all sorts of different settings. Way too general.

 

[Suerte]

I was thinking more as the first move of being striking up a conversation :\

 

[Blackie]

After awhile I found the trick was just not to go "looking" in the first place. Go out with friends, have fun and be confident. Usually if you're just out enjoying yourself people will, at least initially anyway, figure you're the type of person they'd like to be around. That generally causes them to make the 'first move' more than anything else.

Besides, if someone is watching you and making lots of eye contact, then you've both already got the first move part out of the way. I don't really think it matters who strikes up the conversation by this point in time.

You're dead on, dude. That worrying about the first move stuff is absolute bullshit. I'm not saying don't play the game, though, I'm just saying to trust your instincts and follow the obvious signs you've been given. I mean christ, you knew he was game right? Like Leon said, all that eye contact and body language etc WAS the first move. All one of you had to do was man up and do something about the obvious mutual attractiong you guys had.

 

[StrikerObi]

I made the first move with my current girlfriend.

 

[videogamer]

I was thinking more as the first move of being striking up a conversation :\

yeah don't show interest. you need to make them chase you

 

[way more]

I was thinking more as the first move of being striking up a conversation :\

Man, you've got to do that at least. I thought first move like rubbing your legs together or leaning in real close. I thought we were refering to some sort of sexual contact.

As long as that is what were talking about I usually wait for the girl make her move. As far as approaching her I go first. That may just be the type of girl I go for, the cute shy friend of the lound mouth, or the hot intellectual loner.

 

[Blackie]

yeah don't show interest. you need to make them chase you

I'd actually suggest you strike up a conversation with the guy if you're in a bar/party setting and he gives you those signs. If the scene was going down at a workplace/gym/non party atmosphere however, then I'd suggest going with the hard to get approach.

 

[videogamer]

I'd actually suggest you strike up a conversation with the guy if you're in a bar/party setting and he gives you those signs. If the scene was going down at a workplace/gym/non party atmosphere however, then I'd suggest going with the hard to get approach.

well, striking up a conversation isn't exactly the same thing. you can go the "i'm bored and will talk to anyone" route. just don't give body signals or look interested

 

[thom]

I'm too much of a wuss.

Luckily I've never had to make the first move.

 

[Suerte]

I'm kicking myself since I usually do strike up a conversation first I just thought I should try it differently this time. Bah, I won't listen to my brain again. *hits head off the wall*

Ah well, at least I know someone who knows him! Even if that person did ask me out for drinks, which I suppose could just be as friends I guess.

 

[Cool]

Do you guys usually make the first move on someone, or wait for them to make a move on you?

I wait, and I usually receive.

 

[Tazznum1]

Never ever.

 

[darscot]

I used to always open conversation but always wait for the women (I guess in ths thread I should say other party) to make the first move. In my experience the first move is almost never vocal. Also I never make the first physical move, but immediatly go on offense.

 

[ElyrionX]

In most cases, the guy usually makes the first move on the chick. But then we're talking about gays here so...................................

 

[darscot]

I have never made the first move on a girl in my life. I'm not sure what you guys are doing but I think most of you are just missign the first move if you think your making it.

 

[Acrylamid]

Tonight I went to a gay bar, gay bar

http://www.rathergood.kewlio.net/flash/gaybar.swf

 

[Tommie Hu$tle]

What are we talking about here a kiss or a gun?

 

[Grizzlyjin]

I can't make the first move, I'm a shy guy. I assume that women don't like me or don't want to be bothered. So usually I only start throwing down my lines after a girl has started coming up to me.

PS: I don't have any lines...

 

[Alucard]

Fellas, you have to talk to girls. That's the only way you're gonna find out if you have anything in common or worth talking about. I only say this because...I want to gloat that I got a girl's number at the mall today and ended up going out for a mini/pseudo-date on her break. WOO!

 

[Boogie]

Fellas, you have to talk to girls. That's the only way you're gonna find out if you have anything in common or worth talking about. I only say this because...I want to gloat that I got a girl's number at the mall today and ended up going out for a mini/pseudo-date on her break. WOO!

Alas, it is this most basic of social skills which I suck at in relation to women.

 

[Alucard]

You'll work it out. Just takes practice...sometimes circumstance. But things don't often just fall into your lap, so you have to make a move at some point.

 

[Boogie]

You'll work it out. Just takes practice...sometimes circumstance. But things don't often just fall into your lap, so you have to make a move at some point.

Yeah, well, we'll see

 

[way more]

Alucard is on to something. I actually had to practice smiling on command so I could hit on dames. It was wierd, before I learned how to smile I had to pretend to laugh or cough first and then I could smile. The way I learned probably qualifies as cognitive psychology, but it worked and has really helped me out.

 

[Wellington]

That was the first, second, third, etc...move, all made by both of you. The rest should have been automatic, regardless of who initiates what. I hate that "first move" shit. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist anymore. The first move, to me, consists of everything that precedes the actual conversation. Body language, eye contact, etc...As soon as you're sure he's looking at you and not the guy behind you, go for it.

Gays don't suck. You suck.

How long until your next miserable drunk thread?

This man knows his stuff.

I'll never understand guys so worried about making the first move, when it's quite clear before hand if the girl (or guy, in this case) is interested or not by their body language and how much eye contact they make. I mean cmon, honestly, what do you guys try to do when you are interested in someone, make eye contact right? A lot of my guy friends don't understand this. I'm not the most successful dude in the world when it comes to women, but I tend to fuck up after the approach.

 

[Alucard]

Eye contact is key. Usually, it's one of the key parts of the initial attraction.

 

[way more]

All the eye conatact in the world is not going to get you anywhere.

 

[Alucard]

Mac, I agree there, but at least it's a start. It gets the other person's attention. From there you have to make an approach and...gasp...possibly start a conversation.

 

[Scorpion]

I'm really shy so in the past I never made the first move, but as of late I've developed some strategies which have made it really easy. Like if i really wanna talk to a girl and get her number, i'll just go up to her and say "Hey dont i know you from somewhere", she'll say "no", and then i'll just take it from there. Like "O yea u look so familiar, whats your name", up untill the magic moment "how bout u give me your number so we can continue this convo later on". Worst that could happen is the other person isnt feeling you and they'll make up some lie like "i dont have a cell right now".

 

[hXc_thugg]

blah blah blah

Lame.

 

[BobbyRobby]

I was in the dining hall today sitting by myself when this cute girl comes up to me and asks me if she can sit with me. I say sure, and she takes a seat. Unfortunately I've totally lost my touch and become real nervous around girls as of late.

So I'm panicing, thinking about what I should say when I think to myself, "Why say anything?" Am I obligated to engage in meaningless small-talk when it will only result in stress? No. So I just sat there, and she just sat there. Now when you're sitting with someone for the first time, there is a small period of time where you're expected to initiate a conversation. Once that time passes, and nothing is said, it silence from then on. We ate together for about a half an hour without saying a damn word.

It was liberating.

 

[Idle Will Kill]

I have a weird situation. I make eye contact like 5 times per class, every class with this girl. She sits across on the other side of the auditorium. After class, she goes out of the building and across the street. She then kinda waits at this bus stop, but doesn't get on the bus. She's usually way ahead, and I exit the auditorium with my friend. We then cross the street and pass her. I don't know what the hell I'd say to her as she was standing there. It seems like starting a convo with her on that busy street corner would just be awkward as hell.