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Do you sometimes look at your life and wonder when it all started falling apart?

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G

GhostWriter24

Member
I feel so blessed to be where I am in life. A few hiccups, but at age 29 I'm by and large very happy.

Wonderful gf, 6 figure salary at a job I love, LA sunshine. Not too bad.
 
E

echoshifting

Banned
TickleMeElbow said:
I made the biggest mistake of my life at around 19 which was start drinking everyday, and by 26 I had cirrhosis. I'm 29 now, three years sober, and just starting to get a vague idea of what I should be doing.
Click to expand...

Shit you could be my brother-in-law, even the age and the timing are almost perfect. It was three years ago, same damn thing, but he's 30. I had to check his FB profile to make sure he is indeed a year older than you lol

Glad you're doing better man. He is too.
 
T

TickleMeElbow

Member
echoshifting said:
Shit you could be my brother-in-law, even the age and the timing are almost perfect. It was three years ago, same damn thing, but he's 30. I had to check his FB profile to make sure he is indeed a year older than you lol

Glad you're doing better man. He is too.
Click to expand...

Thanks. Good to hear about your brother in law.

The liver has an amazing ability to bounce back if you catch the damage early enough and eliminate the problem.
 
O

OrangeGrayBlue

Member
I think that it's tempting to view our lives tragically. I have some problems in my life right now that I could really lament over (although that would make them worse), but I also try to stay mindful about the fact that there's a lot going well in my life too. I don't think an ideal life would be one where you never experience pain or failure because the idea of one's life "falling apart" is largely in relation to how "kept together" the lives of those around us are, so without the hardships and downfalls in life we would be totally unable to relate to and connect with anyone else who still suffers through those negative experiences. It's those moments where we find solace in sharing our pain and grief with others, and letting them share theirs with us, that acts as a necessary catharsis. I don't want to be cold and remote. I want to live and feel and empathize with others, and that requires bad things to happen. Our deepest connections aren't forged with the people who join us for ice cream cones, they're made with the people who support us when we really need it.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
My life started to fall apart once I graduated college and realized that my degree was worthless. I interview terribly and couldn't get any jobs, despite trying -- even minimum wage stuff at Future Shop or Home Depot, the latter of which basically told me I was overqualified.

I sunk into a depression, my Mom got sick and I lived in fear of losing her for years. I also looked after her during that time, and while I tried to better myself, it didn't work. Now, she's gone, I'm a mess and my depression is getting to be at its all time worst despite talking to people and trying medication. I just have no energy, desire or interest in doing things most of the time and don't enjoy anything.

I'm getting close to thirty, so I consider myself fucked.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
I look back at this literally all the time. My general feeling is that I haven't been happy since it was fucking twelve.

I'm 29 now.
 
T

TheGreyHulk

Member
GhostWriter24 said:
I feel so blessed to be where I am in life. A few hiccups, but at age 29 I'm by and large very happy.

Wonderful gf, 6 figure salary at a job I love, LA sunshine. Not too bad.
Click to expand...
Boo this man... Booooooo!!!!


Anywho. OP, you're 19.. Nineteen. Nine....Teen.... TEEN.

You're literally still a teenager. You have so much time to get your shit together. It may not be easy, but you can right the ship. You just have to be willing to do what needs to be done to fix it.
 
n0razi

n0razi

Member
You're 19... trust me when I say you will look back at this when you are 40 and realize this was literally nothing.
 
K

KAOz

Short bus special
I know exactly when.

September 4th, 2010.

Made huge mistakes that I am still, 6 years later, trying to fix. In agony every minute of every day.

But career and money-wise, I've never been better off.
 
andythinkpad

andythinkpad

Member
KAOz said:
I know exactly when.

September 4th, 2010.

Made huge mistakes that I am still, 6 years later, trying to fix. In agony every minute of every day.

But career and money-wise, I've never been better off.
Click to expand...

What happened you ran out of your wedding ceremony or something?
 
V

venomenon

Member
Kind of. I'm content with my life and I consider myself happy currently (the happiest I've been in almost 20 years for sure), but yes. Let's say there would have been potential to make more out of it all if it hadn't been for a couple things:
- meeting my biological father at age 7 and having him be a part of my life temporarily
- standing up to the wrong people at school and consequently being bullied for a few years
- starting to smoke weed at a relatively young age
In hindsight, I wonder where I could be right now as those things influenced my life in a very negative way. Then again, I can only really blame past me for the weed part, so regrets are actually kept within a limit.
 
A

Armadilo

Banned
When I didn't go to college right after graduating high school, wasting time and doing nothing. Last week I started college after almost 3 years later.

It makes everything hard, fuck
 
C

chicko1983

Member
I can pinpoint the exact moment.

I was 18 and at a party. Rejected a girl who wanted to ask me to her formal (Australian version of the prom) because I wanted to smoke some weed with some mates.
 
T

theJohann

Member
Armadilo said:
When I didn't go to college right after graduating high school, wasting time and doing nothing. Last week I started college after almost 3 years later.

It makes everything hard, fuck
Click to expand...
If you don't mind me asking, what difficulties might you face attending college now, as opposed to three years ago?
 
P

Pamplemousse

Member
Yeah, but I can pinpoint around when it started going wrong. It's been horrible ever since. I often wonder if reincarnation isn't true on some level because this life seems like one huge punishment.

I also think that if it is true, then I must not have been on Earth in my past life. This place sucks on top of everything that's wrong with me. I'm stuck on this hellhole in a body I don't want and forced to live a bankrupt way of life under capitalism. Misery
 
S

Shadybiz

Member
I don't know about falling apart, but daily, I wonder where exactly I went wrong. I have an okay job and an excellent wife, and live in a good place, but it seems that career-wise and as far as general happiness, just about everyone I know is doing better than me.

I have an education degree. Didn't pursue it, because I just felt that I wasn't good enough.
I have a mba. Am not making real advances at my job, because I don't think I'm good enough.
I look for other places of employment on the job boards, but I end up not applying to most of them...because I don't think I'm good enough.
As far as happiness, maybe I'm just not good enough to be genuinely happy.

...I can't pinpoint exactly when I started to feel this way, but it's been a constant thing for as long as I can remember.
 
B

bjork

Member
The day I came back to California from Maui was the absolute worst. I had a layover in Phoenix and I never wanted to die more than I did as I sat in that horribly laid out airport, looking out at the bleak desert landscape.

That was 9 years ago. I'm finally in a position where I can actually plan to go back to the place I'd like to call home, and that's exciting and scary. I don't know if things will go how I want them, but there have been some pretty dark times between then and now, so I know it can't be much worse.

But I also think the last handful of years, during which I've had a string of relatives and friends die from various things, has taught me that none of this really matters in the end, because you're going to die and no one will remember you after a time. So you might as well enjoy yourself however you see fit while you're here, which has been a good way for me to handle the day-to-day of things.
 
Boogie9IGN

Boogie9IGN

Member
While not applying myself in high school was probably a start, getting arrested for doing some dumb shit afterwards was definitely where I think shit hit the fan. Followed by years of partying, slacking off at college and culminating in some more trouble last year, I think I'm finally starting to slowly get everything back on track. I'm finally at university again, and though, for the most part, I hate my job, it pays enough to get me through school provided I continue being responsible.

Those 8 or 9 years in between were pretty shitty in terms of quality of life, finances, and decision-making.
 
T

Team Alucard

Banned
Around age 10-12.

I should have tried to do something back then, at least tell my parents. It likely wouldn't have made a difference as they would not have taken it very well or allowed me to pursue the treatment I needed, but at least I could look back and say that I did everything possible to prevent my body from being irreversible mutilated.

Now it's too late and I have nothing but regret to look forward to for the next 60 years.
 
N

NIGHT-

Member
2 years ago I lost my best friend. It was super fucking hard, and still is. Not a day goes by that I don't miss or regret spending more time with him or help pushing him to be healthier.

Last spring I started fucking up and lost the love of my life, who was also good friends with my best friends, so to lose both of them has been extremely devastating on my well being.

She tried to be friends with me and work on things, and sort of led me on for 8 months until one day she tells me she's in love with someone else. It drove me mad and to deep depression. I kept messaging her and begging her, until she blocked me. And then I used a fake number to get in contact with her again, onto which she threatened a no contact order and told our mutual friends of my craziness, which pushed them away from me.( I know I'm pathetic and don't want pity)

So yea, I'm not happy with life, my job pays great, but the hours are so damn frustrating and kill me(night to day rotations every 2 weeks)

I hardly have friends anymore
My self esteem has been extremely destroyed from my ex going to another guy.


What am I doing to better my situation? I've gotten into a work out/gym routine, I've been picking up new hobbies(comic reading, going to stand up comedy) and been meeting other girls online. And going to counseling for my issues. I'm still completely miserable though, and wish I'd fall asleep and not wake up. Life is so damn frustrating and exhausting. You can go from on top of the world, to falling to the bottom in a flash. And I know this means I can get back to that "high" point again, but it took so damn long the first time around.
 
T

TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared

Member
I can pretty much pin point exactly when my life went from awful to this just non feeling sad I don't give a shit anymore.

I skipped my school exams to play infamous 2. Ever since then, I've been meandering about, failed 3 college courses, failed repeating my exams, etc. Haven't met any new people because of it either and my aspergers, so I have no friends.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
I can pretty much pin point exactly when my life went from awful to this just non feeling sad I don't give a shit anymore.

I skipped my school exams to play infamous 2. Ever since then, I've been meandering about, failed 3 college courses, failed repeating my exams, etc. Haven't met any new people because of it either and my aspergers, so I have no friends.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily the same circumstances but I kind of relate to that. I had ambivalence and apathy (a result of my depression) destroy my will if not my ability to succeed at anything, including college classes, and getting sucked into alternate realities in videogames and movies/tv and having zero social life. I only failed a couple courses in college but got lots of D's and lots of C's, and still managed to graduate with a bullshit degree, but my college experience was as far as I'm concerned a complete and total waste. Honestly if you just don't give a shit that much I'd just drop out and consider going back to school later when you have a more focused motivation. I'm back in school now at 34 and wish I had this much enthusiasm and ambition, and better sense of self I now have, 17 years ago, it's almost scary to think of where my life would be now if I had. Six-figure job? Wife? Kids? House? 70" 4K OLED HDR TV? Retirement savings? A much shorter list of regrets?
 
M

mike6467

Member
Yeah...In February 2012 when I was 27 my Dad and step Dad died in the same week, 100 miles apart. The former due to chronic alcohol abuse, and the latter due to prostate cancer. I had no idea how much it would affect me. Both were instrumental in getting me to where I was. Like, I knew it would be bad, but it sent me into a deep, depression and took away any motivation I could've claimed. I also fell into some substance abuse (because clearly that went well for my Dad). I'm still fighting it all. I mean, I have a decent job, am in school for an engineering degree and have a lot of good friends. Every day I still wonder why I continue, I guess the hope that the old me will eventually come back and I'll care again.
 
choco-fish

choco-fish

Member
About six years ago I split with my partner, lost my house and lost my Dad & Gran all in the space of a few months.

It was hard but it pales in comparison to what others go through everyday, feel pretty happy most days, I get stressed very easily but I'd never want to live through those days again.

GAF is here to tell you all about its woes OP, at least you're not that guy with the Italian take-away dinner for one.
 
J

jb1234

Member
My life never recovered from my health failing in 2003. I've had occasional remissions since then but nothing that has ever lasted.
 
R

Rhaknar

The Steam equivalent of the drunk friend who keeps offering to pay your tab all night.
I know exactly when it started falling apart
 
I

injurai

Banned
Yes, and it involves drinking. I am very careful around alcohol now. I can still drink but if I get into a binge it might take me a few weeks to recover. Which I can't afford during the school year.
 
S

SallyIsNow

Banned
I feel like I'm riding on high right now. I'm on route to graduating on time, I stopped getting high all the time, I might not have to go to my shitty Community College. But I look at people here, and how hard it's going to be to get a job, how hard it's going to be to make friends, how hard it is to feel happy. And I think to myself "What's the point of going through all this shit?". All this shit about getting all my fucking tests done, getting to school before 7, getting home after 5, doing bullshit amounts of homework, I just don't know if I can keep this shit up knowing it'll amount to possibly nothing. If I can barely keep this shit up in HighSchool, what the fuck makes me think I'll survive a college enviroment? And there's all this fucking pressure from my family about being something important, why they chose me I don't fucking know. So I feel like soon will be the time I look at one day and know, that's where it all went to shit.
 
K

K.Jack

Knowledge is power, guard it well
No need to wonder. My shit got fucked up in the 3rd grade, and the fall has been like trying to slowly slide down a sheer cliff.

I'm still here though.
 
MidgarBlowedUp

MidgarBlowedUp

Member
I barely passed high school at the bottom of my class. Worked like a dog for years with nothing to show for it. Went back to school and graduated top of my class. Now I'm back to working like a dog and still have nothing to show for it.

The moral of the story is, it ain't all up to you. If the world decides to take a shit on you that's what it's gonna do. Nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is manipulate what parts of your life you have control over, and ignore the rest as best you can.
 
J

jroc74

Phone reception is more important to me than human rights
Oh I know good n well when mine started falling apart.

One part is when I lost my full time job in 2013. Its been one setback after another since then.

Even recently....I was in school to get my A+. Working with a family services org me and a group of guys were supposed to be working a construction job soon.

I dropped out of the certificate class because of this....and its been 2 weeks with no set start date. After the start date was supposed to be 2 weeks ago....

On a dating level its been falling apart for years. I just didnt know it. I was living in a committed relationship....my ex wasnt. One part of the story with her would make an interesting GAF thread....maybe one of these days....

One thing I do that keeps me sane is personally knowing others that have gone thru worse and are still making it, surviving, overcoming their setback(s).

That and the Serenity prayer.
 
L

LosDaddie

Banned
Nah.

Kept grinding all my life. Didn't always make the best decisions (who does?), but I've put myself and my family in a better position than I grew up in.

Life is good and continues to get better.
 
S

Surge

Member
I'm in a really fucked up situation right now actually in my life, me and my GF broke up and we still live together and have been for a few months now..talk about a really awkward living arrangement.

But on the plus side. I am working towards moving out within the next couple weeks and in the meantime just taking it 1 day at a time.
 
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