friskykillface
Banned
Everyone is dumb
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- Thread starter liliththepale
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Not me
Professor Beef
Banned
mmmmmm, nah, us guys can be pretty fuckin' dumb
The shtick gets old, especially when you claimed to have been terrible to a guy who was amazing to you and exhibited all of the behavior you project onto and criticize in men nearly daily.
trab pu kcip
Member
so I talked with this woman on the phone about her shared apartment and she told me about all these additional costs and today I just texted her that I'm sorry but I simply cannot afford it.
note: berlin housing market is crazy, I bet she could find 10 new possible renters within seconds.
but now she still talks to me trying to make me offers and stuff...like why would she do this? I dont know her
note: berlin housing market is crazy, I bet she could find 10 new possible renters within seconds.
but now she still talks to me trying to make me offers and stuff...like why would she do this? I dont know her
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
Oh no, I'm dumb too.
toadsworth
Banned
I'm dumb and I embrace it.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
She is nice? Maybe she is Canadian.
trab pu kcip
Member
at this point I'm concerned that she's crazy or something. like I downright said "I can't pay much, you may find someone better suited" and she still wants me lol. it doesn't make any sense
It is a big ass city, 3.7 million people (and half more in metropolitan area).
As for lady, looks like she wants to find a renter asap
I am a bit curious, how much is a monthly price for shared apartment in Berlin area?
Maybe she thinks you'd be a good tenant? Some of the college students that my cousin deals with are a headache
Also I think this time of year is a bit slow and it's nice to not have to worry about looking for renters around christmas
Okay, I'm disarmed. Just for the record I generally tend to side with women on the "men are assholes" stuff. The things I've heard about my gf's past boyfriends makes my skin crawl/blood boil/etc.
trab pu kcip
Member
yeah she said she just wants someone quickly to get it over with. but I actually think the quickest way would be to just pick someone that would pay better.
the room itself is 450 which is also my limit. (not counting the additional cost she told me about at first)
but why? we just talked a couple of minutes, she doesn't know me....
hm
not sure if I should take it, I already kinda had a place lined up until february
Idk. One guy who was showing me an apartment tried to dump it off on me then had it rented next week. People salespeople are weird
It is quite common for landlords to up the price during winter months due to lower temperatures and bigger expenses for heating etc.
It is also quite possible that she had some bad experience with renters before and she found appropriate candidate in you.
trab pu kcip
Member
she's not a landlady or salesperson, she's just living in the shared apartment. the additional costs were for furniture and stuff..I guess? I didn't really understand it tbh.
I'm still feeling a bit weird about living with strangers in general (there's also some dude living there) buttttt she also has a cute dog.
The experience of being a woman is so different from being a man. For example, if you just sort of.. exist in the world as a woman, especially a young woman, you can't generally just go places and be invisible like you or I typically can. There's a constant feeling of being watched -- you might be followed, sometimes approached. Maybe commented on or propositioned. It's hard not to feel like there's sides when you face that kind of opposition.
I'm not claiming women are all perfect or all men participate in this sort of bad behavior.. But when women vent about guys being obnoxious or dumb or worse I tend to be sympathetic to that. I've seen how random men have acted around my gf with mine own eyes.
Halcyon
Member
Trump 2016!
Probably has had some bad experiences trying to find someone then and jumped at the first normal seeming person. Either that or she as you said isn't a salesperson and therefore doesn't want to spent a lot of time on sales
Oh, I thought that you were talking to landlord or salesperson.
Well, that lady thinks that you would be an appropriate appmate
Yeah, it is hard to go and live with complete strangers (I had the same doubts when going to college, when I shared apartment with 4 complete strangers), but it is not bad. It depends on people that you are living with.
For me, it's personal
Tho I feel like I do a good job of not bringing it up often except that one time I missed the context and it was kinda poor
yeah I see all that as well. I guess I'm just wondering how it got to this point in the first place.
and more to the point, what is there to do about it other than just being sympathetic?
Re: trabbo, she probably just liked you and think you'd be a great fit in the space. If she's cutting the price you'd pay then it may still be worth it. It's not weird for negotiations to take place, especially if they like you.
edit 2: I just saw she isn't the landlord. Still think she prob just got a nice vibe from talking to you. You can just have a final say of no and stop responding, they'll definitely find someone.
It's super outdated but it's going to take forever to slowly change. Like marriage.
Not to mention we're fucking idiots.
edit 2: I just saw she isn't the landlord. Still think she prob just got a nice vibe from talking to you. You can just have a final say of no and stop responding, they'll definitely find someone.
Because everything society does is to split the two apart/differentiate.
It's super outdated but it's going to take forever to slowly change. Like marriage.
Not to mention we're fucking idiots.
Being sympathetic probably has to be enough. I can't control what other people do. In the case of my gf there's sort of an irrational macho desire to protect her and intervene, but even if I could be with her all the time (I can't, she has to go to school or wherever else and have her own life) it wouldn't really do any good and in most cases isn't something she'd be likely to want me to do.
Hickbilly Deluxe
Banned
I doubt you will find many people arguing with you on that point.
Someday we'll successfully abolish marriage, someday...
liliththepale
Banned
My twenty-two year old cousin is planning to propose to his girlfriend next Saturday. Meanwhile I'm just like... I don't need to be married. It's cool. I don't feel the need to have a government issued license to prove my love to her.
trab pu kcip
Member
I wish I had your perspective when I was your age. I was programmed into thinking that the "right" thing to do was to be married by 25 and to own a house by 30 and have kids shortly thereafter. I did 2/3 of that but clearly I wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment at that young of an age.
I'm still kind of undecided on whether or not humans are even wired for lifelong monogamy.
I'm at the point of actively rebelling against the concept out of spite 😎
Nomadic Sparks
Banned
The phrase is polyamory
trab pu kcip
Member
that's having multiple partners at once. and that's also great for syphilis.
liliththepale
Banned
How are you rebelling right now?
Humans aren't wired to live this long nor with this many different people. Most of our psychology developed in people who lived in tribes of about 150 people and about half as long as we live now. Pair bonding is essential to the human experience (generally speaking) but monogamy was an invention to keep the alpha male from dominating a tribe.
It's not impossible. There may come a day when it feels like the right thing, but it is not this day.that's what Chandler said and then...
trab pu kcip
Member
I feel ya
By not even dating rn. Duh
Ugh yeah. No marriage for me any time soon. (foreveralone)
Also I looked at two apartments yesterday... ugh. Such a waste of time. Hopefully the viewing for a unit on saturday is better. From my talks with the owner over the phone we seem to get along well just gotta hope they give me preference :I It's a kind of basement unit right next to my job. Which considering where I work is impossible to find. 950 a month but that seems to include all utilities and internet. Maybe I can chip in some extra cash for some extra bandwidth.
Also I looked at two apartments yesterday... ugh. Such a waste of time. Hopefully the viewing for a unit on saturday is better. From my talks with the owner over the phone we seem to get along well just gotta hope they give me preference :I It's a kind of basement unit right next to my job. Which considering where I work is impossible to find. 950 a month but that seems to include all utilities and internet. Maybe I can chip in some extra cash for some extra bandwidth.
toadsworth
Banned
At 24, marriage is so far out of my mind right now. My focus is entirely on my career and enjoying myself.
can we just start a commune?
I like this idea of living in a tribe
you are wise beyond your years
I like this idea of living in a tribe
you are wise beyond your years
No shit, I actually know a crazy bookstore owner who's planning on starting one. Or at least has a dream to start one.
You just want to walk around naked, don't ya?
Hickbilly Deluxe
Banned
Marriage sucks, stay single and get a dog.
Just move to the country. It's basically the same thing and you just see the same 150 people or so every week
but I want it to just be people that I like.
Im near you. Lets do it!
I'd like to be married. It's hard to rationalize --- A government issued license isn't required to validate a relationship and, furthermore, it can be hard to defend the idea of marriage on an intellectual basis.
...But when you feel strongly about someone, there's a desire to take things to the end of the line -- To have something on the line. Some stakes. If something is at stake it raises the level of commitment which, by nature and by design, brings you closer together. You're in something together. This also means you have some external pressure to solve and work through problems rather than just break up at the drop of a hat, which, again, results in a stronger bond.
I'm fully aware that this can go very wrong and often does, but there's definitely something romantic about it and it's an experience I'd like to have before the end of all things.
...But when you feel strongly about someone, there's a desire to take things to the end of the line -- To have something on the line. Some stakes. If something is at stake it raises the level of commitment which, by nature and by design, brings you closer together. You're in something together. This also means you have some external pressure to solve and work through problems rather than just break up at the drop of a hat, which, again, results in a stronger bond.
I'm fully aware that this can go very wrong and often does, but there's definitely something romantic about it and it's an experience I'd like to have before the end of all things.
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