The Mystical Laws
So. Where to begin? I guess I can give you a "summery" of the events, but the film is a roller coaster of madness that there is just too much to cover. Luckily I picked up a postcard with a summery on the back, which makes this film sound so wacky that anyone not familiar with Happy Science would wonder what the hell they just read.
The date is 202X and war was beginning. Neo Nazis, sorry, I mean the Godom Empire is trying to conquer Earth with the power of bad science and even has the United States shaking in their boots. The next target is Japan which shouldn't be hard to take over since the Government apparently consists of a room of people uming and erring. "Do you know what to do?" one man asks. "No" another replies. "Oh bother" the first says. Apparently they have some sort of law that says they'll do bugger all in a time of crisis and just let the people face the consequences. Nice.
So anywho, the leader of the Godoms is called Tathagata Killer who walks around with a Vega mask and a electric whip. As you probably guessed, he is possessed by an evil demon that makes him do evil things. He is surrounded by tiny faced Japanese business men and a lovely lady, Leika Chan, who looks Asian, but then we're told see looks Scandinavian only to be told moments later she's meant to look Asian. Right. Oh and she's an alien from the planet Vega. I didn't make that up. The baddy has a Vega mask and the lady is from the planet Vega. They didn't mention it, but I'm guessing they're also vegans. Yes, we have aliens now. And they've come to Earth because they had a war in their star system Lyra and the enemy blasted them with The Ultimate Weapon™. The Ultimate Weapon™ is basically a super bomb that can wipe out an entire continent and through some ironic events is now in the hands of Killer. Yes, Leika, the alien who fled her planet due to war, thought the best thing to do was team up with a general and make weapons for him with alien technology.
But wait, that just sounds like a terrible science fiction, where's the Happy Science? Well lets focus of our MC, Sho Shishimaru, who you will instantly work out is the hero of the film because he looks like Hermes and is whiter than any of the other Japanese characters. He's a member of Hermes Wings who have become the number one trusted organisation in the world. He also has the power foresee the future and apparently the reincarnation of Buddah, which contradicts the events of the Rebirth of Buddah, but lets ignore that for now. So he foresees a bunch of bad things and wonders if he can change the future. He fails for the most part. But he learns of Killer's plans to take over Japan so he decides he is the one to stop him because if he doesn't try to change the future he never will.
Basically Sho's plans to stop The Ultimate Weapon™ fail (who would of think) and he is caught. His punishment is to be executed on tv while being tied to a cross (oh the subtle symbolism). He's killed, but luckily aliens have magic UFOs that can zap heal beams, but it's too late, his spirit has an appointment with the Circle of Mystical Being™. But as always they basically just say who they are and send him back. It's at this moment the film manages to turn it up to eleven. He awakens and stands around. Killer isn't having none of that so he summons CGI skeletons so kill him, but out of nowhere CGI Japanese warriors and CGI giants spring up to fight them off. All the while two CGI dragons battle it out in the skies. Wonzo was there is spirit. The power of Japanese Honour triumphs, but, OH NO, the demon controlling Killer shows his true form and sets off The Ultimate Weapon™ so the Earth is doomed!
But not so fast! Sho is having none of that and so, with a vacant stare, he tells the Earth to pray so of course everyone prays and thus everyone glows and the power of El Cantare saves the day yet again. And we end with Killer being forgiven because even he is a child of God.
The end!
Oh and I guess I forgot to mention there were also dinosaur looking aliens who were waiting to take over earth all this time but did nothing but hang around in the skies. They're just told to bugger off by the Intergalactic Space Federation. Pretty pointless.
Final Thoughts
I actually skipped
some a lot of details because there's literally so many wacky ideas being thrown around that this post would be twice as long to cover them all. Also I want everyone to experience it for themselves.
And an elephant does appear, but only in a still image during the credits to signify Sho visiting India. What a cop out.
Also I should mention that the dub for this was hilariously bad. They would
only talk when
the mouths were moving even if
that meant pausing awkwardly in the middle
of sentences.
So would I recommend it? Of course. It's Happy Science and your life will be incomplete until you see it.
TL
R
Neo Nazis are taking over the Earth. Thank El Cantare the reincarnation of Buddha is here to save the day! Watch it!
