The solution is for Twitch's chat to stop being bloody awful. The reason the chat is unreadable is because you can't get rid of the idiots.
 Make it so that a channel op can switch on a feature that does one or more of the following:
 
 1) Removes emotes and faces
 2) Prevents any account sub 1-week or 1-month old from chatting.
 3) Remove all non-text characters from being able to be displayed (no stupid dance party spam, no troll faces, nothing)
 4) Make bans actually be permanent and IP-based.
 Spooky didn't have a problem with stream monsters when he was on Own3d because Own3d has no chat. People just used #teamspooky on Quakenet instead and - surprisingly - it was far calmer.
 The bananas thing is that this problem doesn't occur in the eSport streams, and I don't know why.