So I go to the gym, it's awful. You know the gym. Women have
no clue, if you're a guy it's horrible. You gotta stay out of
the men's locker room, don't ya? What a horrible, disgusting
place that is! Just filled with naked 85 year old men. Just
walkin around totally nude, nowhere near the shower, just nude
and loitering. When I'm nude I move fast, I'm lookin for my
clothes! These 85 year olds are all proud! Never sit on the
bench in the men's locker room either, you know that, cuz
these nude guys, they come over and talk to ya! I had one guy
come over, put his leg right up on the bench, yeah! What's
directly in my field of vision? Just hangin there like a
Chinese lanturn! "Great he's nude and he wants to chat!" Not
about anything inparticular either. "Hot enough for ya?"
"Oh yeah, it's pretty warm. ..Maybe if you moved your figs
out of my face I could catch a breeze." But you can't say that
to em, you gotta make like you don't see it, it's a guy thing,
ya know? So my eyes are dartin all across the room. But I'm
a comic so at the same time I'm slightly curious. So I'm
peekin at it out the corner of my eye. He's goin on about the
weather and I'm just thinkin, "What an ugly package this man
has! It's not even the same color as the rest of his body!
...The left one is moving by itself!"