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[Wes]

Fernando looks up for it today.

 

[Grover Cleveland]

Old Torres

 

[Arnie]

Chelsea playing some lovely football.

 

[Salvadora]

Impressive stuff from Torres.

 

[Splatt]

lol cole

 

[Kyoufu]

Chelsea are dominating possession. They've already won.

 

[Wilbur]

Cole you fucking spenk

 

[José Mourinho]

I hope this is how we look and not just Reading making us look good.

 

[Grover Cleveland]

Ashley lol

 

[deGod]

Come on Chelsea keep a clean sheet and please for the love of god bring on Oscar my team needs points :-(

 

[Kyoufu]

Game over.

 

[Salvadora]

Hazard!

 

[PrematureQuiche]

I am in love with Hazard already! <3

 

[Splatt]

Seems 'azar was watching Ashley's DVD's.

 

[Wes]

Assist points om nom nom

 

[Arnie]

Team's are stupid.

Why fucking dive in and gift them the 3 points once again?

 

[Grover Cleveland]

Awful defending. Easy call for the ref.

 

[Broder Salsa]

Hazard.

fake edit : and Lampaaaaaaard

 

[qindarka]

Lampard will miss.

 

[José Mourinho]

You don't save them.

 

[G17]

Just how football is these days. You have to go down on sloppy touches like that oh well.

Reading welcome to the Premier League.

 

[xintin]

Lampard might get his regular 20 just from the spot thanks to Hazard.

 

[Jabo]

Dive.

 

[Facism]

I started a diet last Tuesday and I've pooed once in a week. Leaving for Reading tonight though so I expect to shit this weekend.

Reading 2003.

Didn't shit since wednesday. Saturday afternoon, just before Skindred kicked off on the 2nd stage, i got the awful feeling of a megalodon shit brewing. Took me 10 minutes to find those really nice porcelain toilets in the arena.

Anyway, after getting into one, i was in the battle of my life. I had what felt like 18 kilos of shit to pass through my asshole, but i was constipated, too. So i'm sitting there, straining and pushing. I'm sweating hard, so i take off my shirt and eventually kick off my shorts. I'm trying to force this shit out so bad i'm having an involuntary boner. I have to brace myself against the walls of the toilet stall to get enough purchase and positive pressure to push this fucking baby elephant out of my ass.

And then, success. We're finally giving birth to this thing. It's still a massive effort, and i'm light headed from all the bloody rushing from my body to the muscles around my ringpiece. I nearly pass out twice, but the poop is starting to come.

I peer into the toilet bowl during and see that the log is already in the water, but has not yet left my ass. I have a sense of gratification and pride that i'm pushing out what would later be 14 inches of majestic log.

15 minutes later and one last push, i'm released of my burden. I soaking wet with sweat, still nursing an involuntary boner. 2 more turds follow, but sensing the harrowing birth that i have just had, they go easy on me and slip out easy.

I sat there for 10 more minutes catching my breath and waiting for the boner to go down, a certain satisfaction that i've just dropped the biggest shit of my life and that the next guy in is going to enjoy it's magnificence because it wouldn't flush LAWWWWWWLLL.

Literally the best shit i've ever had. Felt 3 kilos lighter and completely refreshed, both in body and mind. Got back to see the last song in the skindred set.

 

[Wilbur]

Eden's gonna win an awful lot of penalties this year.

 

[mil6es]

Just read through all the Lawro pieces written for The Anfield Wrap, they actually brought me to tears!

 

[Eideka]

Hazard provoking a penalty again. :d

 

[Ushojax]

lol too easy

I am curious to see how Hazard does against a PL level defender.

 

[Arnie]

Can you imagine if United bought Hazard instead of that little Shinji bloke.

lol too easy

I am curious to see how Hazard does against a PL level defender.

I'm more curious to see what he'd do against a League One level defender like Carragher. There would be blood.

 

[José Mourinho]

Dive.

:lol

 

[tralfazz]

Love this lineup! Would love to see RDM move Ramires back to replace Mikel and put Oscar on the wing when he gets integrated. Drogba would have killed it on this team with a threesome of Mata, Hazard and Oscar behind him. We just need a striker.

 

[mil6es]

Can you imagine if United bought Hazard instead of that little Shinji bloke.

They already have Ashley for that tho

 

[Kyoufu]

Can you imagine if United bought Hazard instead of that little Shinji bloke.

Fellaini would have put Hazard in his afro instead of Kagawa?

 

[Freewheelin']

Watch out for the hazard...

 

[Broder Salsa]

Anyone noticed that Hazard got a big ass too?

 

[Scum]

Malaga are 1-0 against Panathinaikos

 

[xintin]

Anyone noticed that Hazard got a big ass too?

'azzard

 

[Arnie]

Hazard's a properly brilliant player, the sort of guy who works really hard to win the ball. Quite like the guy as well, he's very selfless.

 

[Wilbur]

megalodon shit brewing.

:lol

18 kilos of shit to pass through my asshole

:lol

I'm trying to force this shit out so bad i'm having an involuntary boner

:lol

push this fucking baby elephant out of my ass.

:lol

I nearly pass out twice, but the poop is starting to come.

:lol

the log is already in the water, but has not yet left my ass

:lol

soaking wet with sweat, still nursing an involuntary boner

:lol

I sat there for 10 more minutes catching my breath and waiting for the boner to go down

:lol


Thank you for the greatest story I've ever read.

 

[Zabojnik]

UDINEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

[Salvadora]

wow

 

[Kyoufu]

wow

 

[José Mourinho]

Smokin' header.

 

[Gareth Bale]

Feed the Pog!

 

[jony_m]

what a header, get in

 

[Splatt]

I hope this goal will be a kick in the arse for Torres to score.

 

[Freewheelin']

Lol

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

Pog the Log!!!!!

 

[Grover Cleveland]

POG

 

[Sloosha]

Nice header.