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Football Thread 2012/13 |OT2| @agent_89: My sources tell me the season has started

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Chelsea 1-2 Reading

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Didn't even know Chelsea were playing today, missed the first goal.
 

Mumei

Member
This is probably going to get caught in the rush, but I am a bit bored at work. Does anyone have a good article I could read? Something historical / analytical about football would be nice.
 

bud

Member
mumei, have you downloaded that barca vs. madrid match yet? they're playing again tomorrow, so i suppose it'd be interesting to compare the two.
 

rodvik

Member
Reading 2003.

Didn't shit since wednesday. Saturday afternoon, just before Skindred kicked off on the 2nd stage, i got the awful feeling of a megalodon shit brewing. Took me 10 minutes to find those really nice porcelain toilets in the arena.

Anyway, after getting into one, i was in the battle of my life. I had what felt like 18 kilos of shit to pass through my asshole, but i was constipated, too. So i'm sitting there, straining and pushing. I'm sweating hard, so i take off my shirt and eventually kick off my shorts. I'm trying to force this shit out so bad i'm having an involuntary boner. I have to brace myself against the walls of the toilet stall to get enough purchase and positive pressure to push this fucking baby elephant out of my ass.

And then, success. We're finally giving birth to this thing. It's still a massive effort, and i'm light headed from all the bloody rushing from my body to the muscles around my ringpiece. I nearly pass out twice, but the poop is starting to come.

I peer into the toilet bowl during and see that the log is already in the water, but has not yet left my ass. I have a sense of gratification and pride that i'm pushing out what would later be 14 inches of majestic log.

15 minutes later and one last push, i'm released of my burden. I soaking wet with sweat, still nursing an involuntary boner. 2 more turds follow, but sensing the harrowing birth that i have just had, they go easy on me and slip out easy.

I sat there for 10 more minutes catching my breath and waiting for the boner to go down, a certain satisfaction that i've just dropped the biggest shit of my life and that the next guy in is going to enjoy it's magnificence because it wouldn't flush LAWWWWWWLLL.

Literally the best shit i've ever had. Felt 3 kilos lighter and completely refreshed, both in body and mind. Got back to see the last song in the skindred set.

i dont want this epic tale to be lost in the game. Thank you !
 

Garjon

Member
Pogrebynak is doing well here, chasing lost causes, getting into good positions. I honestly thought his goal rush when he first went to Fulham was just an uncommon occurence.

Holy crap at that delivery
 
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