LabouredSubterfuge
Member
25 England fan character traits to avoid. How many of these do you display FootyGAF?
* Those in pubs who rhetorically shout, "How come Defoe's not playing?"
* Those who call into a phone-in should be banned from calling a phone-in on that very basis. One recent contribution: "Barkley is a good little player who runs around."
* Those who thought having an English manager would make a big difference.
* Those who bring club tribalism into their criticism of players and, conversely, fans who see tribalism in criticism of players when none exists.
* Those who, after England win one group game, suddenly think England can actually win the trophy.
* Those who used to slag off Sven for under-achievement, but who now think a quarter-final exit would be quite good.
* Those who think Terry Butcher/Paul Ince's head wound was England's finest hour.
* Those who think John Terry not being in the squad is political correctness gone mad. See also: glorification of head wounds.
* Those who, after an early defeat say, "Bring them home, they're a disgrace to the country."
* Those who think England losing is part of a greater decline of a once-great nation and symbolic of general moral collapse. See also: radio phone-ins.
* Those who say it is the foreigners in the English game that are to blame for England being rubbish.
* Those who talk as if England used to be successful. See also: blaming foreigners, head wounds, John Terry, radio phone-ins.
* Those who complain at the high price of 'official' England shirts.
* Those who get drunk and furious and shout abuse at the TV in front of small children.
* Those who adorn themselves, the car, the house in bunting and flags. A bed sheet with a red cross painted on it hanging out your window doesn't mean you care more.
* Those full kit w*nkers in supermarkets buying ten boxes of lager before an England game. Are also likely to have the bedsheet hanging out of the window.
* Those who only take interest in football every four years and still think David Beckham is playing for England.
* Those who think not singing the national anthem means the players don't care.
* Those who think 'they only play for England for the money'.
* Those who can't tell the difference between hindsight and forethought. Spotting what went wrong after it went wrong is not the same as having the vision to see it beforehand.
* Those who think that drinking Red Bull and vodka while watching football in a pub genuinely makes them more perceptive than the manager.
* Those who think the war only just ended.
* Those who still want 'Arry.
* Those 1% who, whatever the question, answer 'Frank Lampard'.
* Those who say England aren't playing with enough passion, who when pressed what passion means, say, "Y'know...running around and that." See also: all of the above.
* Those in pubs who rhetorically shout, "How come Defoe's not playing?"
* Those who call into a phone-in should be banned from calling a phone-in on that very basis. One recent contribution: "Barkley is a good little player who runs around."
* Those who thought having an English manager would make a big difference.
* Those who bring club tribalism into their criticism of players and, conversely, fans who see tribalism in criticism of players when none exists.
* Those who, after England win one group game, suddenly think England can actually win the trophy.
* Those who used to slag off Sven for under-achievement, but who now think a quarter-final exit would be quite good.
* Those who think Terry Butcher/Paul Ince's head wound was England's finest hour.
* Those who think John Terry not being in the squad is political correctness gone mad. See also: glorification of head wounds.
* Those who, after an early defeat say, "Bring them home, they're a disgrace to the country."
* Those who think England losing is part of a greater decline of a once-great nation and symbolic of general moral collapse. See also: radio phone-ins.
* Those who say it is the foreigners in the English game that are to blame for England being rubbish.
* Those who talk as if England used to be successful. See also: blaming foreigners, head wounds, John Terry, radio phone-ins.
* Those who complain at the high price of 'official' England shirts.
* Those who get drunk and furious and shout abuse at the TV in front of small children.
* Those who adorn themselves, the car, the house in bunting and flags. A bed sheet with a red cross painted on it hanging out your window doesn't mean you care more.
* Those full kit w*nkers in supermarkets buying ten boxes of lager before an England game. Are also likely to have the bedsheet hanging out of the window.
* Those who only take interest in football every four years and still think David Beckham is playing for England.
* Those who think not singing the national anthem means the players don't care.
* Those who think 'they only play for England for the money'.
* Those who can't tell the difference between hindsight and forethought. Spotting what went wrong after it went wrong is not the same as having the vision to see it beforehand.
* Those who think that drinking Red Bull and vodka while watching football in a pub genuinely makes them more perceptive than the manager.
* Those who think the war only just ended.
* Those who still want 'Arry.
* Those 1% who, whatever the question, answer 'Frank Lampard'.
* Those who say England aren't playing with enough passion, who when pressed what passion means, say, "Y'know...running around and that." See also: all of the above.
