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[Messi]

Did you enjoy that Carrie trailer a bit too much?

Not answering that

Messi if Wilbury said he knocked one out to Olivia would you be angry?

Why?

 

[Broder Salsa]

So I am on a bit of a dry run. Can I call it that? It's been about 7 years

Let's laugh about it :/

Edit: are you shitting me? Top of the page

Having ever actually put your penis in anything living is more sexual contact than 50% of GAF has had, most people on here would be jealous.

 

[Fry]

Fry, I don't know what the fuck that is but it isn't KFC.

It's brazilian-ized KFC

 

[Messi]

Having ever actually put your penis in anything living is more sexual contact than 50% of GAF has had, most people on here would be jealous.

7 YEARS

 

[Wilbur]

I was following my co-workers lead

But seriously, McDonalds is always going to be good. The cheddar hamburguer is godly.

you sure it wasnt egg

 

[Yurt]

@Fry

Just came back from 'The Place Beyond the Pines'. Ryan is being typecast lately, isn't he?

 

[Arnie]

It's brazilian-ized KFC

:lol it looks mad.

I love how you call it a cheddar hamburger, rather than a cheeseburger.

Adidas are teasing Chelsea fans with the unveiling of their kit campaign tonight on their Twitter. But we all know what's coming. Prepare for some brilliant gifs.

@Fry

Just came back from 'The Place Beyond the Pines'. Ryan is being typecast lately, isn't he?

Any good?

Trailer and cast gave me hope.

 

[shortyme]

7 YEARS

I have a friend who hasn't had sex in 13 years because she's afraid of getting STDs.

7 years though. Ouch.

 

[jtb]

@Fry

Just came back from 'The Place Beyond the Pines'. Ryan is being typecast lately, isn't he?

did you like it? I'm planning on seeing either that or Trance this weekend.

 

[José Mourinho]

So I am on a bit of a dry run. Can I call it that? It's been about 7 years

Let's laugh about it :/

Edit: are you shitting me? Top of the page

I'm nearing a year and half dry spell. It happens to the best of us.

 

[Arnie]

I'm nearing a year and half dry spell. It happens to the best of us.

What do you two mean 'dry run'?

 

[Wilbur]

My dry spell is 8 days. Balling.

 

[Messi]

I have a friend who hasn't had sex in 13 years because she's afraid of getting STDs.

7 years though. Ouch.

I ain't afraid of STDs. I'll fuck any woman at this point

What do you two mean 'dry run'?

No sexual contact in 7 years

 

[Fry]

@Fry

Just came back from 'The Place Beyond the Pines'. Ryan is being typecast lately, isn't he?

Seriously? Did you enjoy it?

I'm curious about reactions of only god forgives.

 

[pulga]

So I am on a bit of a dry run. Can I call it that? It's been about 7 years

Let's laugh about it :/

Edit: are you shitting me? Top of the page

Loooool top of the page

Go get yourself a fine ass hooker, bro.

 

[Messi]

I didn't watch the Carrie trailer

Loooool top of the page

Go get yourself a fine ass hooker, bro.

No interest in paying for sex

 

[shortyme]

I ain't afraid of STDs. I'll fuck any woman at this point




No sexual contact in 7 years

So go out and do that?

 

[WJD]

My dry spell is 8 days. Balling.

3

BOOM BOOM.

Longest ever dry spell (besides the 16 years it took to lose my V's) was 8 months. Shit was hard.

 

[bjaelke]

So I am on a bit of a dry run. Can I call it that? It's been about 7 years

Let's laugh about it :/

Edit: are you shitting me? Top of the page

That makes you a full kit wanker?

jk

Hope you get some soon

 

[Messi]

So go out and do that?

Don't think I am not trying

 

[shortyme]

Don't think I am not trying

I think you should tell us how exactly you're going about it, cause obviously you're doing something wrong here.

 

[Arnie]

My dry spell is 8 days. Balling.

God, you're a player.

Mine's a few months, early January, but I've been chasing after this girl who's an absolute tease and I've called a halt to it. Probably going out tonight, I'll try and woo some vikings babes.

I ain't afraid of STDs. I'll fuck any woman at this point




No sexual contact in 7 years

Prostitute?

Might be worth it to get you back in the game.

 

[Messi]

I think you should tell us how exactly you're going about it, cause obviously you're doing something wrong here.

I don't know if you have seen my other posts about this. But I have confidence/social issues

 

[pulga]

I didn't watch the Carrie trailer



No interest in paying for sex

You need some training matches. Say you find a nice girl who wants to slurp on your cock. You'll probably cum all over her belly before you even start fantasizing its manjaw youre about to bone. You'll scare her off and go on even a longer dry spell than Van Persie.

God, you're a player.

Mine's a few months, early January, but I've been chasing after this girl who's an absolute tease and I've called a halt to it. Probably going out tonight, I'll try and woo some vikings babes.


Prostitute?

Might be worth it to get you back in the game.

Cumlips here gets it <3

Im two weeks dry, so far. I love having a fuck buddy!

 

[rvy]

Don't think I am not trying

Well, fucking pay for it then. Prostitutes are cool as shit. So are strippers, but not everyone is down to fuck and they don't bang any random dude unless he's good-looking/rich.

GO HAVE SEX, MOTHERFUCKER.

 

[Sleeplessnights]

3

BOOM BOOM.

Longest ever dry spell (besides the 16 years it took to lose my V's) was 8 months. Shit was hard.

Less than 24!

Mine has to be the 3 years I gained weight in. Fuck boys only university.

 

[Messi]

You need some training matches. Say you find a nice girl who wants to slurp on your cock. You'll probably cum all over her belly before you even start fantasizing its manjaw youre about to bone. You'll scare her off and go on even a longer dry spell than Van Persie.

I don't even know how to respond

 

[shortyme]

I don't know if you have seen my other posts about this. But I have confidence/social issues

I've seen some but I don't remember if they're crippling issues or if you're just mildly awkward.

Fake it. Best advice I can give. I'm insanely awkward, I get through every day situations by faking it.

 

[pulga]

Three votes for a prostitute so far.

Go go go go

 

[Wilbur]

3

BOOM BOOM.

Longest ever dry spell (besides the 16 years it took to lose my V's) was 8 months. Shit was hard.

Think mines about two months since I was 16, yeah.

 

[kharma45]

I don't even know how to respond

Appreciate the eloquence of the advice.

 

[Peco]

So I am on a bit of a dry run. Can I call it that? It's been about 7 years

Let's laugh about it :/

 

[rvy]

Three votes for a prostitute so far.

Go go go go

Messi probably thinks he needs to pick someone up in some alley, lol. Get with the times, son.

 

[Messi]

I've seen some but I don't remember if they're crippling issues or if you're just mildly awkward.

Fake it. Best advice I can give. I'm insanely awkward, I get through every day situations by faking it.

It's crippling. Footie GAF had to convince me to go into Nandos

 

[Arnie]

One of my friends (absolute idiot, never really mentioned him before, he isn't the ginger one) got bought a prostitute in Manchester by his mates. He'd just split up with his girlfriend so he was a bit of a wreck at the time and they thought it'd cheer him up. He ended up trying to talk the prostitute into finding a proper job, thinking this was Pretty Woman, and she eventually told him to just fuck off. He said after he came to the realisation of what she was doing all day, every day, he wouldn't have been able to get a boner anyway.

 

[rvy]

It's crippling. Footie GAF had to convince me to go into Nandos

You don't need sex, you need therapy. Good thing you can talk about your issues with a prostitute.

So, go get a prostitute.

 

[pulga]

Messi probably thinks he needs to pick someone up in some alley, lol. Get with the times, son.

Book a flight to Costa Rica, Messi. Ill take you on a whore mongering tour. Hell, Ill even take you to the titty joint I went with the honduran NT.

Spoiler

best, most hilarious night EVER

 

[kharma45]

One of my friends (absolute idiot, never really mentioned him before, he isn't the ginger one) got bought a prostitute in Manchester by his mates. He'd just split up with his girlfriend so he was a bit of a wreck at the time and they thought it'd cheer him up. He ended up trying to talk the prostitute into finding a proper job, thinking this was Pretty Woman, and she eventually told him to just fuck off. He said after he came to the realisation of what she was doing all day, every day, he wouldn't have been able to get a boner anyway.

hahaha.

 

[Sleeplessnights]

You don't need sex, you need therapy. Good thing you can talk about your issues with a prostitute.

So, go get a prostitute.

Messi doesn't want to start worrying about using protection, he's too legit.

 

[shortyme]

It's crippling. Footie GAF had to convince me to go into Nandos

Do you have any female friends? Maybe you just need a good wingman. Women do a good job at it sometimes.

 

[pulga]

Ugh, I hate when prostitutes start talking about their kids and life problems. Total boner killer

 

[rvy]

He ended up trying to talk the prostitute into finding a proper job,

What's wrong with being a prostitute? Those women are fucking amazing, they put up with having some 50 year old hog on top of them to pay their bills and feed their children.

Prostitutes are amazing human beings.

 

[Vivalaraza]

Ugh, I hate when prostitutes start talking about their kids and life problems. Total boner killer

So stop?

BOOOOOOOM.

 

[Kikarian]

Messi if Wilbury said he knocked one out to Olivia would you be angry?

Has it been 3 weeks already?

 

[Messi]

Do you have any female friends? Maybe you just need a good wingman. Women do a good job at it sometimes.

Essentially no female friends, female co workers but not friends. I had a wing man recently and women were drawn to him. :/

 

[rvy]

This shitty BioShock: Infinite keychain is gonna get rusty, just like the Forza 3 one, isn't it? Better not use it.

 

[Arnie]

What's wrong with being a prostitute? Those women are fucking amazing, they put up with having some 50 year old hog on top of them to pay their bills and feed their children.

Prostitutes are amazing human beings.

Well apparently she was Eastern European, so my friend thought she'd been shipped over in the sex trade and just forced to shag him. It's a bit grim.

'TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING PANTS' said what sounds like the female syliavstov

 

[rvy]

Well apparently she was Eastern European, so my friend thought she'd been shipped over in the sex trade and just forced to shag him. It's a bit grim.

'TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING PANTS' said what sounds like the female syliavstov

Amazing.

 

[Ushojax]

Great news on the injury front. Bale, Lennon and Gallas all back within two weeks and Defoe as well. If we beat Everton we will be in a fucking great position.

 

[Milchmonster]

Mitchell Weiser, born and raised in Köln, the whole family works for the FC. Youngest player to ever play in Köln's first team and gets the chance to become a first team regular at 18. Decides to fuck off to Bayern, spends half a year training for Bayern and is loaned out to Lautern where he fucks Köln even further up the ass. Proper cunt.