Yes. You can set it up so you can log in with a Steam controller with gesture login. With an Xbox controller unfortunately not yet. I'm hoping windows introduced an Xbox Mode at some point soon though.
Yes there are ways to set automatic updates while sleeping. You just need to setup the feature that allows windows to wake itself up and update at pre determined times (early morning etc) not very hard, simple Google fu will tell you what you need to know. Then it will go back to sleep.
If you're playing on Steam yes. But the vast majority of PC gamers like that we have other programs that give us far superior experiences to the limited feature set of consoles. Discord for instance. It's revolutionary compared to the chat system on consoles.
Here's how my experience with voice chat on xbone goes:
If I have friends that are playing a game that I want to play I invite them to a group, we start playing together and 99% of the time someone that is friends with them also join our group, because everyone in our friendlist can see we are in a group playing the same game. And then you add those people to your friendlist because you had a good time playing with them. And then, some other day, you can see them or they see you playing the game and they will want to hook up.
There was an closed alpha for Sea of Thieves this saturday, all it took me was a look at my friends to see ome guy was playing it, turns out we was already in a party of 3 just waiting for a full house, and we went on to play the game together the entire time.
And it's great for people you don't know as well, I spent the wekeend solo queueing in gigantic and ended up making two new friends, that we met in a couple matches, so we queue up (two different groups at different times) and I end up having a way greater time than just solo queueing.
And that's my experience even with niche games like awesomenauts that had a very small community on xbone when it launched.
And what about games that you don't even know people are playing? Now live supports looking for groups, I had huge sucess finding people to play with me on the clubs I participate, even for custom halo coop sessions with skulls.
That's the beauty of having everything unified, when the system promotes hooking up together and offers all the tools for you to find yourselves.
On the other hand on Pc I had time where a group of real friends combined to get a game so we cou'd play together, but it was so much hassle having to set up separate chat from game sessions and that's the issue with separate services, something might come up in one of them, for two behind a bad nat can play together but for some reason can't connect to the chat using another service, or vice versa. Not that network issues doen't happen on console, but their are easier to troubleshoot, because you only have to do it once.
I never used discord, so I can't speak for it's quality, but I don't see how it can offer a revolutionary experience compared to what I have on xbox, where the voice itself sounds pristine clear, where the friends, party, chat, club and gamehub functions are tied together and the system promotes discoverability and hooking up together to play.