Tommie Hu$tle
Member
I'm shocked no one has mentioned
"My eyes! Zee googles they do nothing."
"My eyes! Zee googles they do nothing."
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Funniest 'The Simpsons' quote?
- Thread starter Iceman
- Start date
- Status
Biff Hardbody
Member
Tommie Hu$tle said:
That's a great one. :lol
Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'."
Homer: "I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge." Pause. "Well, goodbye"
Homer: "If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"
Homer: "Oh, so they have internet on computers now?"
Homer: "Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs."
Homer: "I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge." Pause. "Well, goodbye"
Homer: "If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"
Homer: "Oh, so they have internet on computers now?"
Homer: "Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs."
Biff Hardbody
Member
McBain: That is some outfit Schowy, it amkes you look like a homosexual.
*Audience boos*
Mcbain: hoho, you must all be homosexuals too!
*Audience boos*
Mcbain: hoho, you must all be homosexuals too!
Luscious LeftFoot
Member
One of my favourite Moe moments from the who shot Mr. Burns ep.
Moe attached to lie detector:
Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Mr. Burns?
Moe: No! ~buzz
Moe: Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. ~ding
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight! ~buzz
Moe: Dinner with a friend. ~buzz
Moe: Dinner alone. ~buzz
Moe:Watching TV alone. ~buzz
Moe:Alright! I'm going to sit at home, and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! ~buzz
Moe:....sears catalog. ~ding
Moe:Would you unhook this already! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! ~buzz
Moe attached to lie detector:
Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Mr. Burns?
Moe: No! ~buzz
Moe: Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. ~ding
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight! ~buzz
Moe: Dinner with a friend. ~buzz
Moe: Dinner alone. ~buzz
Moe:Watching TV alone. ~buzz
Moe:Alright! I'm going to sit at home, and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog! ~buzz
Moe:....sears catalog. ~ding
Moe:Would you unhook this already! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! ~buzz
wandering goat
Member
Chalmers: Now, are these children as smart as they look?
Skinner: Well, let's pick one at random. How 'bout that one?
Chalmers: You mean this boy here?
Skinner: No! No, Lisa Simpson.
Chalmers: When was the Battle of New Orleans?
Lisa: January 8, 1815, two weeks after the war ended.
Chalmers: First rate.
Ralph: What's a battle?
Skinner: Well, let's pick one at random. How 'bout that one?
Chalmers: You mean this boy here?
Skinner: No! No, Lisa Simpson.
Chalmers: When was the Battle of New Orleans?
Lisa: January 8, 1815, two weeks after the war ended.
Chalmers: First rate.
Ralph: What's a battle?
Spike Spiegel
Member
From the 'Simpsons Spinoff Showcase' segment, "Chief Wiggum P.I.":
Big Daddy: You know, boys, there's an old saying down on the bayou that, uh, bleah! [throws Ralph at Wiggum and Skinner]
Cracks me up every damn time. I'm laughing now just typing it. :lol :lol :lol
Big Daddy: You know, boys, there's an old saying down on the bayou that, uh, bleah! [throws Ralph at Wiggum and Skinner]
Cracks me up every damn time. I'm laughing now just typing it. :lol :lol :lol
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Homer: Marge, would you kindly pass me a donut.
Marge: Donut? What's a donut?
Homer: *shriek-shriek-shriek. Runs back into the basement to alter time once more*
Marge: Hmm, it's raining again.
:lol :lol :lol
Marge: Donut? What's a donut?
Homer: *shriek-shriek-shriek. Runs back into the basement to alter time once more*
Marge: Hmm, it's raining again.
:lol :lol :lol
These are running off my bad memory:
Marge: I'm afraid I'm smothering Bart.
Homer: and then we'd get the chair
Marge: That's not what I meant!
Homer: Yes it is Marge, admit it.
Homer: I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musty odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!"
Homer: Look Marge, you don't know what it's like.* I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order, you're out of order. The whole freakin' system is out order! You want the truth?! You want the truth?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!* 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friends face, you'll know what to do!* Forget it Marge!* It's chinatown!
Homer:* Come on kids, let's go home.
Bart:* We are home.
Homer:* That was fast.
Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Uh... revenge?
Homer's brain: That's it. I'm outta here. (step step step step step... slam)
Marge: I'm afraid I'm smothering Bart.
Homer: and then we'd get the chair
Marge: That's not what I meant!
Homer: Yes it is Marge, admit it.
Homer: I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musty odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!"
Homer: Look Marge, you don't know what it's like.* I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order, you're out of order. The whole freakin' system is out order! You want the truth?! You want the truth?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!* 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friends face, you'll know what to do!* Forget it Marge!* It's chinatown!
Homer:* Come on kids, let's go home.
Bart:* We are home.
Homer:* That was fast.
Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Uh... revenge?
Homer's brain: That's it. I'm outta here. (step step step step step... slam)
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Luscious LeftFoot said:
:lol :lol :lol
ScientificNinja
Member
Homer: "Less yappin' and more zapping"
Seconds later, his eyes crust over.
I can't remember who's saying it, but it was something along the lines of 'any one of us who falls asleep could die and never wake up' and Grandpa leans over and says "Welcome to my world!"
Homer sings "I gave my wife a chicken, it had no bone.... mmm... chicken...."
Seconds later, his eyes crust over.
I can't remember who's saying it, but it was something along the lines of 'any one of us who falls asleep could die and never wake up' and Grandpa leans over and says "Welcome to my world!"
Homer sings "I gave my wife a chicken, it had no bone.... mmm... chicken...."
What was that Ralph bit when principal skinner and ms. krabople (sp?) got together?
He told a bunch of people that he saw principal skinner and ms. krabople in the janitor's closet "and they were making babies and I saw one of the babies and it looked at me."
that was a classic... but it was outdone in the same episode when the whole town was outside the school and homer got the megaphone to try to talk Bart into coming down (or whatever) and he said,
Homer (megaphone): "Bart. Do you know... where the television remote is?"
Bart (yelling): "Did you check your pocket?"
Homer searches his pocket and finds the remote.
Homer turns to Marge (megaphone): "It was in..."
Homer (without megaphone): "It was in my pocket."
He told a bunch of people that he saw principal skinner and ms. krabople in the janitor's closet "and they were making babies and I saw one of the babies and it looked at me."
that was a classic... but it was outdone in the same episode when the whole town was outside the school and homer got the megaphone to try to talk Bart into coming down (or whatever) and he said,
Homer (megaphone): "Bart. Do you know... where the television remote is?"
Bart (yelling): "Did you check your pocket?"
Homer searches his pocket and finds the remote.
Homer turns to Marge (megaphone): "It was in..."
Homer (without megaphone): "It was in my pocket."
Biff Hardbody
Member
AniHawk said:
:lol :lol :lol
raYne said:Wow... your memory is pretty bad....
:lol
Homer: Aaaaaugh! *finds himself in the middle of a fire* What do I do? What do I do!? *cough cough* Oh, the song. The song.
*sings* When the fire starts to burn, There's a lesson you must learn. Something something, then you'll see: You'll avoid catastrophe!
...D'OH!
Luscious LeftFoot
Member
Classic Skinner/Chalmers moment:
Skinner: I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh... 'scuse me for one second.
(Skinner walks in and out of kitchen in a second - which has caught on fire)
Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner:Er.... Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner:.... Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner:N-no.
Skinner's mother: Seymore! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Skinner: I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh... 'scuse me for one second.
(Skinner walks in and out of kitchen in a second - which has caught on fire)
Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner:Er.... Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner:.... Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner:N-no.
Skinner's mother: Seymore! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Barts voice over the radio: ROD TODD THIS IS GOD!!!!!!
Rod & Todd: How did you get on the radio???
Bart: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW DID I GET ON THE RADIO I CREATED THE UNIVERSE, stupid kid.....
Todd: Im sorry
Rod: Forgive my brother we believe you...
Bart: Talk is cheap, perhaps a test of thy faith: WALK THORUGH THE WALL I WILL REMOVE IT FOR YOU
Todd: *crashes into wall*
:lol :lol :lol
Rod & Todd: How did you get on the radio???
Bart: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW DID I GET ON THE RADIO I CREATED THE UNIVERSE, stupid kid.....
Todd: Im sorry
Rod: Forgive my brother we believe you...
Bart: Talk is cheap, perhaps a test of thy faith: WALK THORUGH THE WALL I WILL REMOVE IT FOR YOU
Todd: *crashes into wall*
:lol :lol :lol
Not a quote, but a song from Sherry Bobbins:
In front of a tavern,
flat on his face,
a boozehound named Barney,
is pleading his case.
Barney: Buy me a beer,
two bucks a glass,
come on, help me,
i'm freezing my ass.
Buy me brandy,
a snifter of wine,
who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine.
Moe: Move it ya drunk,
Or i'll blast your rear end.
Barney: I found two bucks!
Moe: Then come in my friend!
Sherry: And so let us leave,
On this heartwarming scene.
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not till your fifteen
In front of a tavern,
flat on his face,
a boozehound named Barney,
is pleading his case.
Barney: Buy me a beer,
two bucks a glass,
come on, help me,
i'm freezing my ass.
Buy me brandy,
a snifter of wine,
who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine.
Moe: Move it ya drunk,
Or i'll blast your rear end.
Barney: I found two bucks!
Moe: Then come in my friend!
Sherry: And so let us leave,
On this heartwarming scene.
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not till your fifteen
Sooooooo many good quotes. Some of my favourites.
Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal
Homer: [praying] Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever. [brief pause] Thy bidding will be done.
[munch munch munch]
Maude Flanders: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at them.
Dialogue coach: No, "Up and atom."
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at them.
Dialogue coach: Up and ATOM!
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at them.
Dialouge coach: [frustrated] Better.
Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
Homer: I like you.
Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.
[Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.]
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine."
Guard: And your name is...?
Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.
[A very young Ranier Wolfcastle in a TV commercial]
Ranier Wolfcastle: My bratwurst has a first name. / It's F-R-I-T-Z / My bratwurst has a second name. / It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-H-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N
Homer: Hmm. I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Gotta go, Mo. My idiot kids are listening.
Bart & Lisa: HEY!!
Kang (as Clinton): My fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say we must move forward, not backward! Upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!
Homer: OOoooo! Look at me Marge! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Laaaaane! In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic!
Marge: Well, duh.
Mulder:What's the point of this test, Scully?
Scully: No point, I just he could stand to lose a little weight.
Mulder: His jiggling...is...almost hypnotic.
Scully: Yes..it's like a lava lamp.
Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs hysterically) So to answer your question, I don't know.
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have anything with fruit?
Homer: This has got purple stuff in it. Purple's a fruit.
Banner: You're out there Beer Baron. And I'm gonna find you.
Homer [in the distance]: No you won't.
Banner: Yes, I will.
Homer [in the distance]: Won't!
Homer: The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in here, I'm going to have to quit drinking.
Homer's liver: Yay!
Homer: Shut up, liver! (punches himself in the liver) Ow, my liver hurts.
Homer: *Must... protect... sugar. Thieves everywhere. The strong must protect the sweet... the sweet... zzzzzzz... (in spanish accent) In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power... then... you get the women...*
Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal
Homer: [praying] Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever. [brief pause] Thy bidding will be done.
[munch munch munch]
Maude Flanders: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at them.
Dialogue coach: No, "Up and atom."
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at them.
Dialogue coach: Up and ATOM!
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at them.
Dialouge coach: [frustrated] Better.
Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
Homer: I like you.
Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.
[Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.]
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine."
Guard: And your name is...?
Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.
[A very young Ranier Wolfcastle in a TV commercial]
Ranier Wolfcastle: My bratwurst has a first name. / It's F-R-I-T-Z / My bratwurst has a second name. / It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-H-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N
Homer: Hmm. I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Gotta go, Mo. My idiot kids are listening.
Bart & Lisa: HEY!!
Kang (as Clinton): My fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say we must move forward, not backward! Upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!
Homer: OOoooo! Look at me Marge! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Laaaaane! In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic!
Marge: Well, duh.
Mulder:What's the point of this test, Scully?
Scully: No point, I just he could stand to lose a little weight.
Mulder: His jiggling...is...almost hypnotic.
Scully: Yes..it's like a lava lamp.
Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs hysterically) So to answer your question, I don't know.
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have anything with fruit?
Homer: This has got purple stuff in it. Purple's a fruit.
Banner: You're out there Beer Baron. And I'm gonna find you.
Homer [in the distance]: No you won't.
Banner: Yes, I will.
Homer [in the distance]: Won't!
Homer: The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in here, I'm going to have to quit drinking.
Homer's liver: Yay!
Homer: Shut up, liver! (punches himself in the liver) Ow, my liver hurts.
Homer: *Must... protect... sugar. Thieves everywhere. The strong must protect the sweet... the sweet... zzzzzzz... (in spanish accent) In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power... then... you get the women...*
Cayman Islands guy -
Oh, I'm sorry. I can't divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account.
Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer.
Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was a secret.
Oh, crap. I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal.
Ah, it's too hot today.
Oh, I'm sorry. I can't divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account.
Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer.
Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was a secret.
Oh, crap. I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal.
Ah, it's too hot today.
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord!?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. *scrapes it down with a broom* *walks off*
Homer: *holds it* I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...mmm...sacrilicious.
Homer: What are you gonna do? Release the dogs?! Or the bees?! Or dogs with bees in their mouth so that when they bark they shoot bees at you?
:lol Homer is all about the delivery...
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. *scrapes it down with a broom* *walks off*
Homer: *holds it* I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...mmm...sacrilicious.
Homer: What are you gonna do? Release the dogs?! Or the bees?! Or dogs with bees in their mouth so that when they bark they shoot bees at you?
:lol Homer is all about the delivery...
Warm Machine
Member
Wiggum: "Where have you been tonight?"
Homer thinking to himself: "Don't say Moe's, don't say Moes...but what else is open late?"
Home speaking outloud: "I was at the pornography store, I was buying pornography."
Oh yeah, the other one that always gets me is the free cursed frogurt discussion between the chinese herb sales guy and Homer in that treehouse of horror episode.
Homer thinking to himself: "Don't say Moe's, don't say Moes...but what else is open late?"
Home speaking outloud: "I was at the pornography store, I was buying pornography."
Oh yeah, the other one that always gets me is the free cursed frogurt discussion between the chinese herb sales guy and Homer in that treehouse of horror episode.
IAmtheFMan
Member
Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If *you* did it, sir?
Nick Riviera: The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my... wrist watch. (pause) Uh oh.
Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If *you* did it, sir?
Nick Riviera: The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my... wrist watch. (pause) Uh oh.
Mr. Burns: Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
German Man 2: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
German Man 2: Please stop the `pretending you are scared' game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: No! They're so big and strong!
German Man 2: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
German Man 2: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans...
Horst: Burns, STOP IT!
Horst: Stop it!
German Man 2: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
German Man 2: Please stop the `pretending you are scared' game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: No! They're so big and strong!
German Man 2: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
German Man 2: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans...
Horst: Burns, STOP IT!
Kuro Madoushi
Unconfirmed Member
Lou: "Hey...ah...Chief...these dogs look kinda angry..."
Chief Wiggum: "Yeah...Yeah...I've been starvin' em...teasin' em...singin' off-key...mi me ma mo...mi mo ma me..."
"We Germans are not a war-like people..."
"Nobody who speaks German can be a bad man..."
Chief Wiggum: "Yeah...Yeah...I've been starvin' em...teasin' em...singin' off-key...mi me ma mo...mi mo ma me..."
"We Germans are not a war-like people..."
"Nobody who speaks German can be a bad man..."
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Does anyone have "The Joy of Sect" recorded? Homer has a famous one from that ("Outta my way, jerkass!"), but it's only funny in context. The one I'm thinking of is where they are trying to convince him to go and then he hears about the free movie, the whle conversation is hilarious. He says the quote a couple other times in the episode, too.
Wiggum: There are more counterfeit tapes here than...
Lou: ...A Chinese K-Mart?
Wiggum: That'll have to do.
Bart: But they aren't ours. We were just charging people for them.
Wiggum: Oh, but the real owner is in more hot water than...
Lou: Uh... a tea bag at a Japanese tea party?
Wiggum: Why don't you lay off the Asians, Lou?
Lou: ...A Chinese K-Mart?
Wiggum: That'll have to do.
Bart: But they aren't ours. We were just charging people for them.
Wiggum: Oh, but the real owner is in more hot water than...
Lou: Uh... a tea bag at a Japanese tea party?
Wiggum: Why don't you lay off the Asians, Lou?
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
when bart and lisa are searching for treasure in the back yard ;
bart: Okay, here's the deal. Crowns and dubloons are mine, snuff boxes and cameas are yours. Now, as for wands and scepters...
lisa : it's a bottle cap.
bart : jewel encrusted?
bart: Okay, here's the deal. Crowns and dubloons are mine, snuff boxes and cameas are yours. Now, as for wands and scepters...
lisa : it's a bottle cap.
bart : jewel encrusted?
Warm Machine said:
That one's great. :lol
Old man: Take this doll, but beware; it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Old man: But it comes with a free serving of frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Old man: But it comes with your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate...
Homer: *stares*
Old man: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
Paraphrasing, but when Bart got rid of Santa's little helper:
Homer: "Crying won't get your dog back, so you could either eat enough dog food that your tears smell enough like dog food and he comes back, or go find him!'
Bart: 'You're right dad, I'm going to go find him!'
Homer: "Damn, almost had the kid eating dog food." :lol
Homer: "Crying won't get your dog back, so you could either eat enough dog food that your tears smell enough like dog food and he comes back, or go find him!'
Bart: 'You're right dad, I'm going to go find him!'
Homer: "Damn, almost had the kid eating dog food." :lol
Bart: Take him away, boys!
Wiggum: Hey, that's my line! Bake him away, toys!
Lou: Uh, what, chief?
Wiggum: Do what the boy said.
Milhouse: My mom never uses fabric softener, but she's not heeeere!
Bart: I get to pick the next thing.
Moe: Everyone's goin' to family restaraunts these days, seems nobody want to hang out in a dank pit no more.
Carl: You ain't thinkin' of gettin' rid of the dank, are ya Moe?
Moe: Ah, maybe I am.
Carl: Oh, but Moe, the dank! The dank!
Bart: George Burns was right. Showbusiness is a horrible bitch goddess.
Lisa: No offense dad, but we liked your half-assed underparenting a lot more than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: Aw, but I'm using my WHOLE ass!
Mr. Burns: Dough-nuts? I thought I told you I don't like ethnic foods!
Officer Lou: This gun really made me feel like a man. Now all I've got are my enormous genitals.
Marge: Oh, Homer, look! A TV Guide owned by Jackie O!
John (Waters): Oh, you should see the crossword puzzle. She thought that Mindy lived with "Mark".
Homer: Give her a break! Her husband was killed!
Comic Book Guy: Excuse me, no banging your head on the display case, please; It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.
Wiggum: Hey, that's my line! Bake him away, toys!
Lou: Uh, what, chief?
Wiggum: Do what the boy said.
Milhouse: My mom never uses fabric softener, but she's not heeeere!
Bart: I get to pick the next thing.
Moe: Everyone's goin' to family restaraunts these days, seems nobody want to hang out in a dank pit no more.
Carl: You ain't thinkin' of gettin' rid of the dank, are ya Moe?
Moe: Ah, maybe I am.
Carl: Oh, but Moe, the dank! The dank!
Bart: George Burns was right. Showbusiness is a horrible bitch goddess.
Lisa: No offense dad, but we liked your half-assed underparenting a lot more than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: Aw, but I'm using my WHOLE ass!
Mr. Burns: Dough-nuts? I thought I told you I don't like ethnic foods!
Officer Lou: This gun really made me feel like a man. Now all I've got are my enormous genitals.
Marge: Oh, Homer, look! A TV Guide owned by Jackie O!
John (Waters): Oh, you should see the crossword puzzle. She thought that Mindy lived with "Mark".
Homer: Give her a break! Her husband was killed!
Comic Book Guy: Excuse me, no banging your head on the display case, please; It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.
*Bart, Milhouse and Nelson walk out of a movie theater after watching Naked Lunch*
Nelson: I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
Lewis: Hey Bart, we're going to go sneak into an R-Rated movie!
Milhouse: It's called "Barton Fink"!
Bart: Hey! They're taking our lemons.
Milhouse: We can't spare a single one! *immediately starts throwing lemons*
Nelson: I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
Lewis: Hey Bart, we're going to go sneak into an R-Rated movie!
Milhouse: It's called "Barton Fink"!
Bart: Hey! They're taking our lemons.
Milhouse: We can't spare a single one! *immediately starts throwing lemons*
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked