Ugh, ronito. And I thought highly of you too. Only peons uses 50 posts per page.
GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 4.0 the last huzzah
- Thread starter ronito
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Ugh, ronito. And I thought highly of you too. Only peons uses 50 posts per page.
The beginning sounded a lot like caddy shack and turned into something golden.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
You're no Dookkake either!
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
What if someone started to drown? He's have to jump in his own urine to save them and then have to explain the massive erection.
It's easier to meet people online and have sex with them than actually say Hi to other people in person.
I mean, I wouldn't know from personal experience or anything...
What if someone started to drown? He's have to jump in his own urine to save them and then have to explain the massive erection.
Sounds like another fetish waiting to happen
Professor Beef
Banned
I've got a relatively tame one (well, relative to the others posted here).
A few months ago an old friend from elementary school added me on Facebook. When I was looking through her photos to see how much she changed, I noticed that one of her photos had a myredbook.com watermark on it. So I decided to do some digging and found out that she works as an escort. What's better (or worse, I honestly can't tell but I laugh anyways) is that they have ratings for each escort, and she has some pretty low ratings!
I'm almost tempted to bite the bullet and call her escort number, but I don't want to pay for sex - let alone bad sex if those ratings are accurate.
...Come to think of it, does this even count as a confession?
A few months ago an old friend from elementary school added me on Facebook. When I was looking through her photos to see how much she changed, I noticed that one of her photos had a myredbook.com watermark on it. So I decided to do some digging and found out that she works as an escort. What's better (or worse, I honestly can't tell but I laugh anyways) is that they have ratings for each escort, and she has some pretty low ratings!
I'm almost tempted to bite the bullet and call her escort number, but I don't want to pay for sex - let alone bad sex if those ratings are accurate.
...Come to think of it, does this even count as a confession?
Professor Beef
Banned
Why would I wanna play Digimon World when *I* don't even want to play it?
Fine. Digimon World 2 then.
Professor Beef
Banned
Let's just broaden it to "vidya gamez" instead of going down the list of Digimon games I like/don't like.
He should breath heavily into the phone while he does it.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Agreed.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I wanna know what happened with this.
HamPster PamPster
Member
I was watching Fairy Tail over the weekend and I just fucking lost it when Lucy saved Loke. A disgusting amount of tears came flowing out. I don't even know why and I can't even remember the last time I cried
I can't say I'm surprised. I once worked with chick who flat out said that she thought the only reason that she got the job was her enormous boobs (and they were magnificient) since she was pretty terrible at her job even by her reckoning. Knowing her boss I wouldn't have been surprised.
Man, to this day I still don't know how she stayed alive. I mean just rolling onto her back at night probably would've suffocated her to death.
Gentlemen, we are BACK BABY!Subject: I was my sisters eBoyfriend
She went off to college a year ago, and I've been stuck at home. One day I googled her name and found her eharmony profile. I made a fake profile just to screw with her. I messaged her out of the blue, and posted a false picture. We hit it off, and we began talking a ton. She would message me on facebook (I made a fake profile, with fake friends and shit to keep up the illusion, I constantly used them) and well she fell in love with me. And the sad thing was I had begun to fall in love with her, because, her personality was so great, she liked a lot of what I liked. One night she texts me a message "Hey love. Ummm...what u doing?", I txted back "think bout u", and after taht she responded with "Are you thinking dirty thoughts about lil ole me?
Here let me stimulate your imagination, love". She sent me a video of herself masturbating. I hate to admit it but I was turned on, and fapped afterwards. We began having eSex and describing our sexual fantasies, i learned she was still a virgin, and was wanting me to be her "prince charming that'll steal way her purity". We did this for a year, constantly cybering, and sending nude pics of each other. Then school ends and she says she wants to meet up. I can't keep the facade up, because, she's starting to ask me why I'm so against meeting up. So, I break up with her, I say I'm just wanting a cheap sexual thrill, and I'm married with kids. it devastates her. When she comes home for the summer, she's constantly crieing, and uber depressed.
Sad thing is I still genuinely love her...it was meant as a joke, but, I fell in love with her...I want to confess, to tell her how much I loves her, but, she would not see things my way, she would hate me, and my family would be disgusted.
(keep it going gafconfess@gmail.com)
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Is there a sentence missing or something? Even if there isn't that's a good one.
Wait, are you saying that you sent this in and it's missing a sentence?
Sorry man I posted everything that was in there.
edit: OH CRAP! forgot the subject!! I forget you guys don't see them the way I do. Fixed now. You're still suspect though B-Dubs!
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I am stuck back at page 41, time to read : )
First thing I saw on page 41 was NotTheGuyYouKill coming back from a ban, I remember leaving the thread at that point. Now that I am back off my own special little ban ... I plan to read this thread to the end. Hope there are some good stories to read as I get the fire crackling wrapped in my warm blanket w/ my beautiful wife.
Really just alone w/ the AC on half drunk off 6 heinekens with a belly full of pizza rolls.
First thing I saw on page 41 was NotTheGuyYouKill coming back from a ban, I remember leaving the thread at that point. Now that I am back off my own special little ban ... I plan to read this thread to the end. Hope there are some good stories to read as I get the fire crackling wrapped in my warm blanket w/ my beautiful wife.
Really just alone w/ the AC on half drunk off 6 heinekens with a belly full of pizza rolls.
viciouskillersquirrel
Member
The missing subject line just turned that confession into pure gold.
I have a confession: Earlier this year, I bought the Blade Runner Director's Cut on Blu Ray. I didn't care for it. I'm history's greatest monster.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Ronito can the next thread be titled
GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 5.0 we ain't dead yet motherfucker
Noisy Ninj4
Member
Thread of forever. So subbed.
I figured it was his sister, it read like the set up to a porno except it didn't end in weird sex. Also stop trying to shift the blame onto me, you freaky sister fucker you.
Maybe if we have one.
Truth be told this is fine but sometimes the confessional can be a bit of a pain, keeping everyone's secrets and changing the way you see some GAFers, and especially with all the really terrible terrible confessions that aren't posted. It can depress you for a real long time. Feels bad man.
I would've had a sister but she died before I was born. If I were engaged in some sisterlovin now THAT would be a confession worthy of the thread.
viciouskillersquirrel
Member
Would that be necropedophilic incest? Ewww...
I personally take solace in the fact that my confession was proverbially yawned at. Now, which one it was among the hundreds posted over four threads, well, that's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me, XOXO... - Gossip Girl
Okay, I feel like another confession:
This must have been during daycare. I don't know why I remember this. I was given some chocolate, wrapped in aluminum foil or something (like for Xmas or Easter or something). Deciding not to eat it yet, I kept it in my back pocket. By the end of the day, I had almost forgotten about it. It must have been hot that day or something, but when I reached for it, it had all melted, so my hand and back pants were all covered with this melted brownish substance. I had to explain to everyone what happened. It was so embarrassing.
My confessions are the worst.
This must have been during daycare. I don't know why I remember this. I was given some chocolate, wrapped in aluminum foil or something (like for Xmas or Easter or something). Deciding not to eat it yet, I kept it in my back pocket. By the end of the day, I had almost forgotten about it. It must have been hot that day or something, but when I reached for it, it had all melted, so my hand and back pants were all covered with this melted brownish substance. I had to explain to everyone what happened. It was so embarrassing.
My confessions are the worst.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Whoa... now that's weird.
The details of the 'cholocate' are awfully vague huh.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Yeah...
Doombringer?
HamPster PamPster
Member
:lol :lol :lol Still one of GAF's funniest threads. Maybe everyone accusing him of incest gave him the idea to create the profile
I must have missed it. Hey, wha happen?
HamPster PamPster
Member
How about passing the job on to someone else? Granted, 50% of why this whole concept is so interesting is because of the Ronito Factor, but it's not worth you having to put up with a lot of disturbing stuff just for the sake of us nosey Gaffers.
I'd be up for it. But my concern would be passing it onto someone who wasn't as committed to secrecy.
Lookism!
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
So much for equality.
Neither will Himuro
The Elite
BOSS
Glad she's admitting it, even if she won't add a name to the quote. It's absolutely true.
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