Something else to add is that in many cases like these it's not just one partner's fault, so she'll need to be open to that. I've seen many cases where one partner has a similar issue and the other partner thinks they've done nothing wrong so when a therapist starts looking into their issues they're like "Why are we talking about me? It's their issue not mine!"
GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 4.0 the last huzzah
- Thread starter ronito
- Start date
- Status
Something else to add is that in many cases like these it's not just one partner's fault, so she'll need to be open to that. I've seen many cases where one partner has a similar issue and the other partner thinks they've done nothing wrong so when a therapist starts looking into their issues they're like "Why are we talking about me? It's their issue not mine!"
I was definitely in the wrong and I feel extremely bad about it. She flipped out and I went to my parents to stay yesterday, which led to me going to the hospital and looking for someone to talk to, counseling wise. I have issues with addiction be it weed or porn/getting off. I just never had a wake up call to go seek help until yesterday, which I did. This is going to be my first day w/out weed in awhile. I am cool with that however porn is so damn easily accessible that it is going to be difficult, however the alternative is divorce and I am not trying to do that either.
Well, from talking to a therapist yesterday I realized that she has been out of touch sexually because of her difficulty in getting pregnant(she has PCOS) So, basically I am not getting any because she is down about our situation so I am going to look for someone that wants me.
Just read this confession and outside of the animal torture (WTF?) this person reminds me a lot of some of the drama majors I encountered during my time in college. Some of them were borderline schizos and either were blissfully unaware or thought it was a charming personality trait.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Hm, I'm sure she still have sexual needs, though I suppose it is possible that she don't have any.
There's no reason that unsuccessful procreative sex should stop the two of you to enjoy recreational sex.
Now, it's in no way her fault that you went behind her back to deal with your sexual needs, but the two of you need to talk this through together if you want to avoid a repeat of what happened. In addition to dealing with your self-proclaimed addiction issues, I'd advise the two of you to schedule in some time with a professional counselor to resolve the lack of sexual intimacy.
once the honeymoon period of a relationship is over it really becomes a bit of a negotiation. Simply, at different points each partner will have different needs to the other. Good communication is needed to overcome this in a way that both partners feel is satisfactory to their needs.
You have to have frank discussions and say, look, I'm feeling like we're not having enough sexual activity, maybe you could wank me off a couple of times a week when you don't feel like it. I know it's blunt but these discussions need to be had if a relationship will be successful.
A lot of relationship counselors do this thing of "put some spice into your relationship!" which is all well and good, but not a permanent solution, as day to day chores, jobs, etc will ruin that quickly. Communication is vital, but unfortunately instead of saying "look, I have this problem, I'm very sorry that I didn't tell you but I want to change and am stopping" you got found out, which will make your willingness to change doubtful in her eyes.
To get over this marriage counselling is probably a good idea, but you both have to be very honest and open. Remember, don't hold something against your wife that you never told her was a problem. That's always a big problem in relationships.
It is basically like this; she doesn't seem in the mood any longer because of her issues with PCOS. She also doesn't like that I am in the way that I am(weed, videogames) so I am cutting out weed to smooth things over..no way I am cutting out videogames.
SquiddyBiscuit said:
We will do that as soon as I get a few more sessions in to discuss my issues.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Yeah, cutting out weed will probably do a lot to show her that you are still committed to her and that you hold her wishes and well-being in high regard. Even if you're not quitting videogames, I'm suggesting you drastically cut down the time spent on it - if only until things are starting to get better.
Wow that really fucking sucks man. All I can say is since it was in the past you should try and forgive her if you really do love her that much. You weren't together then hence she's allowed to be with who she wants. Of course, she should have told you but that's where the forgiving part goes in. Can't say it'll be easy though. Your best friend is a fucking asshole.
@Doozy story. Wow...At this point it's just what can he do to NOT make it even worst?
Kylie_Karnage
Neo Member
nah backwards. smoke sativas; don't play video games.
I thought of that, however it is all about making her happy.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
In the beginning it really sounded like the movie The Vicious Kind, but then the guy kept going and going.
Kylie_Karnage
Neo Member
So, I regained access to t3llm3s3cr3ts@gmail.com, dumping old, forgotten secrets. Posting for awesome memories. These are from 2006.
I am madly in love with a fellow GAFer, and for Christmas this year I tied myself up with a big red bow, and sent him a home movie of me unwrapping myself in front of the camera and then having a good go at myself until I came hard.
I am a female.
You know who you are
Wait a minute, your friend slept with the girl when you all weren't together correct? I'm not saying it wasn't a dick move but come on man this "pact" you guys made is what your holding on to?
You sound very controlling and weird, you were willing to break up with this girl because of some dick she had once years ago? Not to mention you throwing away a friendship, how many times has that guy been there for you over the years?
Sad.
butzopower
proud of his butz
Dude, how old were you when you guys made that pact? Are you seriously going to carry on super depressed and throw away a friendship over a PACT? Do you know how fucking childish that makes you? Great that you didn't cheat on your girlfriend with the girl he liked, but neither of them cheated on you either.
Darren870
Member
Has your friend even tried to get in touch with you? Does he know why you two haven't spoken in 40 days?
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
That second one...
Confessor, is your best friend a gaffer?
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I confess, I'm the one who hired Joel Schumaker and told him to make the Batman films more kid-friendly.
I'M A MONSTER!
i really love that fucking costume, though.
Opus Angelorum
Member
Vermillion
Banned
I know... I... hm.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
We need at least one name on the second one
Dude, I am with you on this.
Almost the same thing happen to me not once, but twice and both times were my so-called "best friends" that stabbed me in the back.
I'm not with any of those girls any more (thank God) and both times it happened what should never suppose to happen. It was not a matter of pact for me, but some sort of "friendship rule". Anyway, after what happened I don't have a best friend and I don't have much trust in this.
I know that I am not in your place and I shouldn't really judge you but I can tell you what I would do: break up with her, no matter how important this could be. She knew he was your best friend, having her around will not help you to feel less "miserable".
Not expecting you to believe me/do what I say, just giving you my 2 cents.
Sadly I have you beat.
When I was in 9th grade I was really sexually oblivious (grew up mormon). I had seen some porn so I knew certain acts existed but I didn't know what they were called. So I'm at a dance and this really hot chick that was 2 years above mine came over with her equally hot friend and said, "Do you want to eat me?"
I couldn't hear real well, "Do I want to eat what?"
"Do you want to eat me?"
"Do I want to date you?"
"Do you want to eat me?"
"What? Eat you???? What you mean?"
She just rolled her eyes and walked away with her friend.
Later when I found out what she meant I kicked myself for days. I still kick myself from time to time.
Vermillion
Banned
*shrug* I don't trust people like that. Probably thanks to elementary school.
lol damn dude. i got a story like that but not as bad.
my sophomore year. cute girl comes up to me in math class during some down time while im just talking to the bros. she tries to strike up a conversation and i completely blow her the fuck off. like just say "yeah" "no" etc and turn back to the guys. basically taking aloof to a whole 'nother level. smh. worst part is, when she went back to her desk, one of the guys i was talking to noticed and just gave me a look.
smfh
Alligatorjandro
Banned
Who wrapped themselves in a bow?
First off, I love how this guy's alias in here has become "Doozy".
Secondly, I don't understand how Doozy hasn't melted and destroyed himself under the pressure of doing such an awful thing to someone for over 14 years. I guess the kind of person capable of doing what he did is the kind of person capable of living with himself after that, but holy fuck.
Doozy, you said you were getting married, but you honestly don't deserve to have a happy marriage. I really feel sorry for your wife that she is going to have to live with someone like you, at least until your secret gets outed. And it will get outed, rest assured, in some manner.
Fuck man, I was honestly speechless after reading that.
Secondly, I don't understand how Doozy hasn't melted and destroyed himself under the pressure of doing such an awful thing to someone for over 14 years. I guess the kind of person capable of doing what he did is the kind of person capable of living with himself after that, but holy fuck.
Doozy, you said you were getting married, but you honestly don't deserve to have a happy marriage. I really feel sorry for your wife that she is going to have to live with someone like you, at least until your secret gets outed. And it will get outed, rest assured, in some manner.
Fuck man, I was honestly speechless after reading that.
By 8th grade I was pretty well versed in innuendo, but there is one incident that has stuck in my mind. It was a spring day near the end of the school year, and the teacher had decided to let us sit outside and finish our work. It was very windy, and I had trouble holding down my paper. I walked up to the teacher and asked her if we could go back inside, because the wind was blowing on my stuff. Right away a group of kids started snickering and laughed, "don't you know what that means?" I looked at them like, yeah, and I got that "blow" coud be used sexually. But they kept laughing and shaking their heads and I walked away embarrassed. For years I thought there was something in that phrase more than a simple immature suggestion of blowjobs. I actually avoided using the word "blow" for like two years afterward. But no, it was just kids being stupid.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
i went to one and mooned the crowd while getting on the stage and then i did the hopping bunny skit with him where i flung pumpkin pie filling at peepa because i was taking a shit. good time.
NaughtyCalibur
Member
Not that I'm proud, but I've got you both beat...
When I was 17 creeping up on 18 I got my first real job at a hospital parking garage. The first day during lunch I decided to go to this java cafe inside of the hospital, and when I got there I was confronted with the sexiest girl I had ever seen in person (think: an 18 year old Eva Mendez), and actually chocked up a bit when I tried to order. I remember actually thinking to myself on the way back to the job that day, "never going to happen in a million years -- just forget about it."
Then that same day after work I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus ride home, and then here she comes. She sits down at the bus stop right next to me, and then like some shit out of a movie just starts talking to me and opening up to me big time. It isn't long before she's dragging me to this coffee shop across the street and buying me espresso shots as we got to know each other fairly well. I was still in shock at this point, and couldn't believe any of it. She was a real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I shit you not.
Anywho, long story short, she informs me that she's emancipated and has her own place and that I should come over. I make some bullshit excuse as to why I can't come, but we exchange numbers and plan it for another day.
"Another day" comes, she not only wants me to come over but says she wants to cook for me as well. This time I say something extra lame like, "oh I wish I could but my mom needs me at home today." So postpone it yet another day. "Yet another day" comes and she calls me up, eventually telling me how horny she is and how she needs me to come over. Even though it's one bus ride away, I chicken out again. After that she stopped trying, probably figuring, with good reason, that I wasn't interested in her.
What blows my mind about this is that I was no virgin, it's just my few girlfriends before that were nowhere near as hot as this girl and I felt like I had to live up to some Godlike expectations sexually to please her, and didn't want to fail or some shit. So basically: I was an insecure little bitch. It pisses me off because had that been just two years later when I entered into college and got a whole new perspective on life I would have gone for it without a care in the world.
tl;dr -- I cock blocked myself out of potentially the best sex of my life multiple times with the same smoking hot girl who was trying hard to jump my bones.
Jedeye Sniv
Banned
Not that I'm proud, but I've got you both beat...
When I was 17 creeping up on 18 I got my first real job at a hospital parking garage. The first day during lunch I decided to go to this java cafe inside of the hospital, and when I got there I was confronted with the sexiest girl I had ever seen in person (think: an 18 year old Eva Mendez), and actually chocked up a bit when I tried to order. I remember actually thinking to myself on the way back to the job that day, "never going to happen in a million years -- just forget about it."
Then that same day after work I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus ride home, and then here she comes. She sits down at the bus stop right next to me, and then like some shit out of a movie just starts talking to me and opening up to me big time. It isn't long before she's dragging me to this coffee shop across the street and buying me espresso shots as we got to know each other fairly well. I was still in shock at this point, and couldn't believe any of it. She was a real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I shit you not.
Anywho, long story short, she informs me that she's emancipated and has her own place and that I should come over. I make some bullshit excuse as to why I can't come, but we exchange numbers and plan it for another day.
"Another day" comes, she not only wants me to come over but says she wants to cook for me as well. This time I say something extra lame like, "oh I wish I could but my mom needs me at home today." So postpone it yet another day. "Yet another day" comes and she calls me up, eventually telling me how horny she is and how she needs me to come over. Even though it's one bus ride away, I chicken out again. After that she stopped trying, probably figuring, with good reason, that I wasn't interested in her.
What blows my mind about this is that I was no virgin, it's just my few girlfriends before that were nowhere near as hot as this girl and I felt like I had to live up to some Godlike expectations sexually to please her, and didn't want to fail or some shit. So basically: I was an insecure little bitch. It pisses me off because had that been just two years later when I entered into college and got a whole new perspective on life I would have gone for it without a care in the world.
tl;dr -- I cock blocked myself out of potentially the best sex of my life multiple times with the same smoking hot girl who was trying hard to jump my bones.
Oh man, reading this story.... I want to slap you so hard! That poor, poor hot girl...
I'd actually say that you probably dodged a bullet there buddy.
That was painful to read.Not that I'm proud, but I've got you both beat...
When I was 17 creeping up on 18 I got my first real job at a hospital parking garage. The first day during lunch I decided to go to this java cafe inside of the hospital, and when I got there I was confronted with the sexiest girl I had ever seen in person (think: an 18 year old Eva Mendez), and actually chocked up a bit when I tried to order. I remember actually thinking to myself on the way back to the job that day, "never going to happen in a million years -- just forget about it."
Then that same day after work I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus ride home, and then here she comes. She sits down at the bus stop right next to me, and then like some shit out of a movie just starts talking to me and opening up to me big time. It isn't long before she's dragging me to this coffee shop across the street and buying me espresso shots as we got to know each other fairly well. I was still in shock at this point, and couldn't believe any of it. She was a real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I shit you not.
Anywho, long story short, she informs me that she's emancipated and has her own place and that I should come over. I make some bullshit excuse as to why I can't come, but we exchange numbers and plan it for another day.
"Another day" comes, she not only wants me to come over but says she wants to cook for me as well. This time I say something extra lame like, "oh I wish I could but my mom needs me at home today." So postpone it yet another day. "Yet another day" comes and she calls me up, eventually telling me how horny she is and how she needs me to come over. Even though it's one bus ride away, I chicken out again. After that she stopped trying, probably figuring, with good reason, that I wasn't interested in her.
What blows my mind about this is that I was no virgin, it's just my few girlfriends before that were nowhere near as hot as this girl and I felt like I had to live up to some Godlike expectations sexually to please her, and didn't want to fail or some shit. So basically: I was an insecure little bitch. It pisses me off because had that been just two years later when I entered into college and got a whole new perspective on life I would have gone for it without a care in the world.
tl;dr -- I cock blocked myself out of potentially the best sex of my life multiple times with the same smoking hot girl who was trying hard to jump my bones.
Vermillion
Banned
Not that I'm proud, but I've got you both beat...
When I was 17 creeping up on 18 I got my first real job at a hospital parking garage. The first day during lunch I decided to go to this java cafe inside of the hospital, and when I got there I was confronted with the sexiest girl I had ever seen in person (think: an 18 year old Eva Mendez), and actually chocked up a bit when I tried to order. I remember actually thinking to myself on the way back to the job that day, "never going to happen in a million years -- just forget about it."
Then that same day after work I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus ride home, and then here she comes. She sits down at the bus stop right next to me, and then like some shit out of a movie just starts talking to me and opening up to me big time. It isn't long before she's dragging me to this coffee shop across the street and buying me espresso shots as we got to know each other fairly well. I was still in shock at this point, and couldn't believe any of it. She was a real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I shit you not.
Anywho, long story short, she informs me that she's emancipated and has her own place and that I should come over. I make some bullshit excuse as to why I can't come, but we exchange numbers and plan it for another day.
"Another day" comes, she not only wants me to come over but says she wants to cook for me as well. This time I say something extra lame like, "oh I wish I could but my mom needs me at home today." So postpone it yet another day. "Yet another day" comes and she calls me up, eventually telling me how horny she is and how she needs me to come over. Even though it's one bus ride away, I chicken out again. After that she stopped trying, probably figuring, with good reason, that I wasn't interested in her.
What blows my mind about this is that I was no virgin, it's just my few girlfriends before that were nowhere near as hot as this girl and I felt like I had to live up to some Godlike expectations sexually to please her, and didn't want to fail or some shit. So basically: I was an insecure little bitch. It pisses me off because had that been just two years later when I entered into college and got a whole new perspective on life I would have gone for it without a care in the world.
tl;dr -- I cock blocked myself out of potentially the best sex of my life multiple times with the same smoking hot girl who was trying hard to jump my bones.
Damn. I'd slap you.
In a friendly way.
Animation-Imp
Member
Not that I'm proud, but I've got you both beat...
When I was 17 creeping up on 18 I got my first real job at a hospital parking garage. The first day during lunch I decided to go to this java cafe inside of the hospital, and when I got there I was confronted with the sexiest girl I had ever seen in person (think: an 18 year old Eva Mendez), and actually chocked up a bit when I tried to order. I remember actually thinking to myself on the way back to the job that day, "never going to happen in a million years -- just forget about it."
Then that same day after work I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus ride home, and then here she comes. She sits down at the bus stop right next to me, and then like some shit out of a movie just starts talking to me and opening up to me big time. It isn't long before she's dragging me to this coffee shop across the street and buying me espresso shots as we got to know each other fairly well. I was still in shock at this point, and couldn't believe any of it. She was a real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I shit you not.
Anywho, long story short, she informs me that she's emancipated and has her own place and that I should come over. I make some bullshit excuse as to why I can't come, but we exchange numbers and plan it for another day.
"Another day" comes, she not only wants me to come over but says she wants to cook for me as well. This time I say something extra lame like, "oh I wish I could but my mom needs me at home today." So postpone it yet another day. "Yet another day" comes and she calls me up, eventually telling me how horny she is and how she needs me to come over. Even though it's one bus ride away, I chicken out again. After that she stopped trying, probably figuring, with good reason, that I wasn't interested in her.
What blows my mind about this is that I was no virgin, it's just my few girlfriends before that were nowhere near as hot as this girl and I felt like I had to live up to some Godlike expectations sexually to please her, and didn't want to fail or some shit. So basically: I was an insecure little bitch. It pisses me off because had that been just two years later when I entered into college and got a whole new perspective on life I would have gone for it without a care in the world.
tl;dr -- I cock blocked myself out of potentially the best sex of my life multiple times with the same smoking hot girl who was trying hard to jump my bones.
Nice to know I'm not alone in these kind of situations.
When I was 15 or 16 years old I developed a crush on this alternative blond girl in my class.
She tended to go out with older guys and prefered the rough guys.
I was at the time a bit of a loner. I've lost a brother who was very dear to me and tended to throw myself in schoolwork, drawing and metal-music. I tried working on my people skills and slowly got closer to her.
Especially in our last year. She chose to sit in my proximity in class, when tasks were handed out she made sure she wound up with me as a partner and we hung out a lot.
She sometimes leaned over in class, whispering information like her favourite body parts and other spicey information... everyone else saw what was happening except of course... me.
Now at the end of the year, after graduation we held a couple of parties.
At one point we're standing outside (I had to leave the party because I felt a bit depressed).
She comes up to me and comforts me... then she whispers "it's cold out here" in my ear.
I react "well better get inside then"... (stupid fuck)... she gets drunk - I get drunk because I still had the feeling it wasn't going anywhere... and after a while we all leave.
Now we go of to college (university) and we don't see each other for about a year. This was the time before e-mail and mobile phones mind you, so keeping contact wasn't easy. I got a new group of friends and some fleeting relationships (she was still permanently on my mind though).
At a party of a mutual friend we meet again.
We get to talking and I think to myself "this is my last chance, go for it"
I'm taking it easy... at one point she asks me if I've seen anyone from highschool in the last year. I think this is the moment to tell her what's on my hart for so many years.
So I say: "No, and frankly there's only one person I would like to see regularly and that's you..."
To my amazement she starts crying, she says "don't say that to me, not now, I can't take this..." and runs away.
I sit there in shock... what's happening here? I decide to go after her, but she's gone...
And then it dawns on me... all those years wasted... how could I've been so blind. Everything fell in place and I could kick myself for not seeing it.
I only saw her again two years later, I was already together with my wife (who's practically perfect in every way might I add), so for me the chapter was closed.
Still I sometimes wonder what could've been...
When I look back at my youth, I must've been a real retard when it comes down to me and the ladies. I have to other friends who recently told me they had a major crush on me in my first college years and that they really tried to convey the message but I wasn't interested.
I think one obstacle was the fact I was convinced I didn't have any chance with that kind of women anyway.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
Maybe he did, but the girl is to blame as well. It takes two to tango and all that. Doozy is to blame, but wtf was she thinking? I can see little fling at 16 before you figure out life and such, but to continue it going for that long after you met your "soulmate"? I do wonder if in her mind the OP was actually the one she wanted all along but didn't know how to break it to his brother so she had them both for awhile. Either way, it has developed into a sad situation. The wife will tell her secret eventually, when she is at the end of her rope and has nothing to lose, it will come out. Or she will blackmail the OP into re-starting the relationship.
I know of a situation almost exactly like this one but with a twist. Two brothers were fucking each other's wife and no one knew it was going on until years after they both got divorced. It was bizarre.
ScraftyDevil
Banned
It's a good thing he's anonymous, or else I would have to verbally smash his face in for that G/S comment.
He said that Wiseblade is right, he is clearly a troll.
Not that I'm proud, but I've got you both beat...
When I was 17 creeping up on 18 I got my first real job at a hospital parking garage. The first day during lunch I decided to go to this java cafe inside of the hospital, and when I got there I was confronted with the sexiest girl I had ever seen in person (think: an 18 year old Eva Mendez), and actually chocked up a bit when I tried to order. I remember actually thinking to myself on the way back to the job that day, "never going to happen in a million years -- just forget about it."
Then that same day after work I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus ride home, and then here she comes. She sits down at the bus stop right next to me, and then like some shit out of a movie just starts talking to me and opening up to me big time. It isn't long before she's dragging me to this coffee shop across the street and buying me espresso shots as we got to know each other fairly well. I was still in shock at this point, and couldn't believe any of it. She was a real life Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I shit you not.
Anywho, long story short, she informs me that she's emancipated and has her own place and that I should come over. I make some bullshit excuse as to why I can't come, but we exchange numbers and plan it for another day.
"Another day" comes, she not only wants me to come over but says she wants to cook for me as well. This time I say something extra lame like, "oh I wish I could but my mom needs me at home today." So postpone it yet another day. "Yet another day" comes and she calls me up, eventually telling me how horny she is and how she needs me to come over. Even though it's one bus ride away, I chicken out again. After that she stopped trying, probably figuring, with good reason, that I wasn't interested in her.
What blows my mind about this is that I was no virgin, it's just my few girlfriends before that were nowhere near as hot as this girl and I felt like I had to live up to some Godlike expectations sexually to please her, and didn't want to fail or some shit. So basically: I was an insecure little bitch. It pisses me off because had that been just two years later when I entered into college and got a whole new perspective on life I would have gone for it without a care in the world.
tl;dr -- I cock blocked myself out of potentially the best sex of my life multiple times with the same smoking hot girl who was trying hard to jump my bones.
I was expecting a punchline like you're about to have sex and you find out she's a dude.
This is actually worse.
- Status