GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 4.0 the last huzzah

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A few years back, I was on this online dating site and I hooked up with this chick, who I later formally met on a date. We hit it off at the start, and right after dinner, she took me to her house to have sex. We were gettin' it on whilst making out, and after we finished kissing, she told me that she was a transsexual. Disgusted, I slapped the shit out of her, grabbed my clothes, and high-tailed it out of there. As I laid in bed that night, I discovered that I sorta liked kissing someone who used to be a man. Fast forward to today; I'm now a proud homosexual married to my partner with an adopted kid.

Now that I got my life story out or the way, here's my confession: I regularly go to Chik-fil-a and don't give a fuck about what they've said recently. I know, that makes me a horrible person, and I should probably be against them for their bigotry but, muh gawd dat chickunh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Wow, normally I wouldn't post something like this. You should feel terrible about beating up that woman. But I guess it did sorta work out in a weird way. Did you ever look her up and apologize?
 
jaxword said:
Confession: I haven't bathed or left the house in 8 days and I smell like an unwashed lion which is coincidentally what I look like with this neverending neckbeard. I'm probably the most disgusting GAF member.


Edit: Whoops this was supposed to have been emailed to Ronito. Uh oh.
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I went for a week without bathing once too at a festival, wouldn't be able to do that again, got so nasty and sticky.
 
ronito said:
Wow, normally I wouldn't post something like this. You should feel terrible about beating up that woman. But I guess it did sorta work out in a weird way. Did you ever look her up and apologize?
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This is the most sad story I've read here. Having the courage to reveal that to a stranger only to then be beaten can be traumatizing. Glad you're better now anon, and I hope the woman is too.
 
ronito said:
Wow, normally I wouldn't post something like this. You should feel terrible about beating up that woman. But I guess it did sorta work out in a weird way. Did you ever look her up and apologize?
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oh, wow.

At first I got some funny "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" laughs.. but then I read that he beat her up. Sigh.
 
I've gone an entire month without showering/bathing at all. And I only changed between two or three different sets of clothes the entire time.


...though to be fair, I was living out of a tent for a month on top of ridges in the Yukon. Hurray for research projects!
 
edible_candle said:
I've gone an entire month without showering/bathing at all. And I only changed between two or three different sets of clothes the entire time.


...though to be fair, I was living out of a tent for a month on top of ridges in the Yukon. Hurray for research projects!
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Where did you poop?
 
Hello again GAF. I'm the guy from a week or so ago who fucked his aunt.
this isn't a confession per say, but i just had an epiphany and i feel all giddy inside and want to share.

Girl i like looks like a celebrity.
Said celebrity has a doppelganger who made a porn video.
I will jerk to said porn video while imagining its the girl i like.

WHY HADN'T I THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE!?!
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.....yawn....
 
I have a confession.

I've jerked off on a webcam before but its usually me looking at myself on my monitor. Is that weird?

I didn't feel like emailing this because I forgot what my fake email was and I didn't want to make another.
 
WoodenLung said:
I went for a week without bathing once too at a festival, wouldn't be able to do that again, got so nasty and sticky.
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happens when camping, too. The smoke just kinda covers everything up but once you get home and shower you can smell the stench on all your clothes. Takes a couple loads of laundry to freshen everything up.
 
I just clicked a random previous page on this thread and came up with

I've been keeping a collection of all of GAF's real pictures to use for masturbation and collection purposes.
I've been cataloguing people's pictures since about 2004 when I started to actively read OT. It's becoming more and more of an obsession rather than anything else.

attached is a picture of my collection I have at work, my collection at home is larger and more indepth. Think Fistfull, but of gaf users.
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lol oh nooo
 
ronito said:
.....yawn....
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If I had a dollar for every porn doppelganger I've seen of a person I knew in real life, I'd have... let's see... eight dollars, no wait, nine! And that's not even including the one person I know who has done some porn themselves. I could buy a Big Mac meal with that money.

I've heard that everyone has an average of seven doppelgangers running around in the world somewhere. Of course that particular factoid has hints of truthiness to it and no underlying evidential proof, so take it with a grain of salt.

I just hope that my own doppelgangers don't ever go into porn themselves, because that could lead to some awkward misunderstandings.
 
I cant be bothered creating a new email for this, was tempted to post this in the shallow/asshole thread but I fear the repercussions.

I cheated on my husband last year with my 17yo neighbour (legal here) I was 23.
I felt no remorse as he had become a prescription addict and would sleep all day,
get up, have withdrawels, drug up and lie on the couch til he went to work (nightshift).

I had been planning to leave the husband for quite some time anyway so I used the
affair as an excuse. When I told him, he proceeded to o.d on painkillers and alcohol. I regret
not letting him die. The abuse I got in the following months from him and his family was horrendous.
They didnt understand the verbal and emotional abuse I endured behind closed doors.

I ended up living with the neighbour for 18 months before we broke up earlier this year.
In that time I had cheated on him with 2 other guys. The first one was just for the hell of it
because I was messed up over my ex husband, the second one was because I was being
neglected emotionally and sexually. I dont regret either of them.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. Not the worst thing in this thread, but the worst thing I've ever done.
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Now it's my turn to seem an asshole.
Notice how each of your cheatings had a ready excuse? That's something that drives me crazy. Knowing tons of cheaters a lot of them (especially the women) have ready excuses. "Yeah I cheated on him, but he/she was mean to me/emotionally unavailable/was depressed/jobless/had gained weight/was uninterested in sex/I was depressed."

I totally get that there are messed up things in relationships and I get there are jerks and I get there are difficult circumstances. But really almost 90% of the time I don't really find it "excuses" the behavior of cheating. I also find that people that tend to do that end up being perpetual cheaters,it's sorta like when things get hard (which they will in any long term relationship) they turn to cheating instead of either fixing the problem or just getting out. That and sometimes they think they just haven't found the mystical person that is nice enough/has no issues/has a high enough sex drive so they wont have to cheat, which is terribly unhealthy.

I'm certainly not saying you should stay in abusive/bad relationships. Either work it out or leave but if you cheat I honestly I prefer the people that are just like "Yeah I cheated. Why? Because I wanted to." I feel they have a better handle on their cheating behavior reasons.

As I've often advised, "Cheating is not so much about who your partner is, but about who you are."
 
ronito said:
Now it's my turn to seem an asshole.
Notice how each of your cheatings had a ready excuse? That's something that drives me crazy. Knowing tons of cheaters a lot of them (especially the women) have ready excuses. "Yeah I cheated on him, but he/she was mean to me/emotionally unavailable/was depressed/jobless/had gained weight/was uninterested in sex/I was depressed."

I totally get that there are messed up things in relationships and I get there are jerks and I get there are difficult circumstances. But really almost 90% of the time I don't really find it "excuses" the behavior of cheating. I also find that people that tend to do that end up being perpetual cheaters,it's sorta like when things get hard (which they will in any long term relationship) they turn to cheating instead of either fixing the problem or just getting out. That and sometimes they think they just haven't found the mystical person that is nice enough/has no issues/has a high enough sex drive so they wont have to cheat, which is terribly unhealthy.

I'm certainly not saying you should stay in abusive/bad relationships. Either work it out or leave but if you cheat I honestly I prefer the people that are just like "Yeah I cheated. Why? Because I wanted to." I feel they have a better handle on their cheating behavior reasons.

As I've often advised, "Cheating is not so much about who your partner is, but about who you are."
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Good response. The confessor sounds like a scummy ass person.
 
ronito said:
Now it's my turn to seem an asshole.
Notice how each of your cheatings had a ready excuse? That's something that drives me crazy. Knowing tons of cheaters a lot of them (especially the women) have ready excuses. "Yeah I cheated on him, but he/she was mean to me/emotionally unavailable/was depressed/jobless/had gained weight/was uninterested in sex/I was depressed."

I totally get that there are messed up things in relationships and I get there are jerks and I get there are difficult circumstances. But really almost 90% of the time I don't really find it "excuses" the behavior of cheating. I also find that people that tend to do that end up being perpetual cheaters,it's sorta like when things get hard (which they will in any long term relationship) they turn to cheating instead of either fixing the problem or just getting out. That and sometimes they think they just haven't found the mystical person that is nice enough/has no issues/has a high enough sex drive so they wont have to cheat, which is terribly unhealthy.

I'm certainly not saying you should stay in abusive/bad relationships. Either work it out or leave but if you cheat I honestly I prefer the people that are just like "Yeah I cheated. Why? Because I wanted to." I feel they have a better handle on their cheating behavior reasons.

As I've often advised, "Cheating is not so much about who your partner is, but about who you are."
Click to expand...

There's never an excuse for cheating. Anything used as an excuse for cheating should've first been used as a reason to break up.
 
I cant be bothered creating a new email for this, was tempted to post this in the shallow/asshole thread but I fear the repercussions.

I cheated on my husband last year with my 17yo neighbour (legal here) I was 23.
I felt no remorse as he had become a prescription addict and would sleep all day,
get up, have withdrawels, drug up and lie on the couch til he went to work (nightshift).

I had been planning to leave the husband for quite some time anyway so I used the
affair as an excuse. When I told him, he proceeded to o.d on painkillers and alcohol. I regret
not letting him die. The abuse I got in the following months from him and his family was horrendous.
They didnt understand the verbal and emotional abuse I endured behind closed doors.

I ended up living with the neighbour for 18 months before we broke up earlier this year.
In that time I had cheated on him with 2 other guys. The first one was just for the hell of it
because I was messed up over my ex husband, the second one was because I was being
neglected emotionally and sexually. I dont regret either of them.
I just wanted to get this off my chest. Not the worst thing in this thread, but the worst thing I've ever done.
Click to expand...

I was nodding my head at the first one giving you the "okay" since your ex-husband seems to be an asshole but when I got to the bolded part it made you as bad as him and all other cheaters. You like to cheat and you tell yourself these excuses to make you feel better but it's nothing more than that, excuses.
 
JeTmAn81 said:
There's never an excuse for cheating. Anything used as an excuse for cheating should've first been used as a reason to break up.
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Yep.
I enjoy hearing people's excuses for cheating. It lets me know what kind of person they are pretty quick.
Not that there is a good excuse for it though.
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
...

There was a guy that I knew when I attended church who did the same thing... He called it something, ugh, I forget. I wonder...
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I won't lie, I've eaten softened butter with sugar before. Especially when baking a cake. Don't knock it til you try it.

OK confession time, when I was younger I found some sweetened condensed milk in the pantry. I opened it and ate about 1/4 of the tin. Then I put it back in the pantry. My mum found it a few weeks later all mouldy, I think she blamed my brother. I'm such a rebel >_>
 
Since you took the time to ask, I'll respond:

-Dude, if you're thinking about suicide get help
I tried. It's actually harder than one would presume. I was given a hotline that was disconnected. Given a website that was down. And three more numbers that either redirected me to each other or told me they weren't the right people to call. Ironic, isn't it?

- Chose your major because only one department left open? I got you beat. I majored in classical guitar performance. Why? I wanted to play in the classical guitar ensemble. You had to audition. So I did. After I was done the professor was like, "Oh you're good. What are you majoring in?" I said I hadn't decided he said I should major in classical guitar. I asked "Is that that good? Is that fun?" He replied, "Yeah you get all the chicks." I said, "Ok" on the spot. You had no choice. I made my choice not because of a great talent or love of music or anything. I only did it because my professor said it'd get me chicks.

At least you made a conscious choice that you were at least positive of how the outcome would be.


- I dunno if it's fair to say that an unstructured upbringing really hurt you. I mean I have friends that let their kids do as they please. Those kids have issues self regulating and having empathy. True. But I also see people that that raise their kids strictly. These kids then have issues with making decisions for themselves/letting go and having fun/are high stress. There's no upbringing that has no issues.

I love children and would kill to have some, but I truely fear being responsible for one since beside their biological needs, I have no idea what to do. I dread the butterfly effect/the ripple effect. I fear doing or saying something in complete innocence that would psychologically ruin that baby being.



- I'll admit I never got that far in my "beating up the bully" fantasies. But I will say this. My old bully tried to friend me on facebook. He's gotten immensely fat, has a crap job, has more kids than he can afford and has a wife that looks constantly pissed and looks miserable. I think he wanted to friend me to see if I could help him find a job. Seeing what his sad life had come to and clicking "reject" was one of the most gratifying things in my life. Much better than running him over in a car could ever be.

To me, it is sad that, biologically speaking (psychology) I need to succumb to such selfish feelings as to physically hurt someone out of anger. What hurts me more, is how vulnerable I am as an entity to even consider such a mundane thing as a desire...



- You wanna know what cum tastes like? Aren't you a dude? I mean that's an easy thing to remedy seems like.
I am germaphobic against liquids...Any liquids. I even stare vigilantly down a glass of water whilst I am drinking it.


- Not comfortable with oral? I was kidding about hanging out with blue and green but you really are missing out.
I tried it on both ends. Maybe it is my germaphobia of liquids, maybe it is the unaturalistic action of it. Maybe it is the negative psychological damage I had done to me concerning sex growing up, maybe it is just the idea of putting a tongue where waste comes out.

- No comfortable looking at people's eyes. That's a great excuse. "I wasn't staring at your breasts! I just can't look people in the eye."
It is psychological. Also, I cannot stare at people sexually either. I had a weird childhood spanning two different continents with two completely different dogmas.


- You and every other teenager promised themselves they'll never die of old age. But then as we grow older we find we like life.
I can't see my self enjoying life if I can't see or run. Those are the two main things I need to be able to do. I am almost 31 now, and I still think and believe the same way concerning that specific notion. My grandfather was over 100 years old when he died. But he literally did nothing the last 30 years of his life. I don't want to live for the sake of living. I want to live to experience. Once I can't experience anymore, I am ending it.


- You can't laugh aloud? You must be a hit at parties.
Does not compute.
I can laugh hard, but if there was a light sleeper in the same room, they would not wake up.
I had an extremely 'quite' childhood. Maybe that is part of it. Basically, I came to the realization growing up that I could do anything as long as others didn't hear me.


- Emotionally indifferent about your dad? Is that because he's an asshole and you can't bring yourself to care? Or is it because you're an asshole and can't bring yourself to care?
My father had a bad and tough childhood. What he came out of that was not showing your emotions. For me, he provided food, shelter and clothing and nothing beside that. I am almost 31, I've never hugged my father or 'talked' to him, never kissed or expressed any feelings. Neither of us told the other we loved them; him for any reason, me for being afraid of doing something he never did. The only times we talk is if he was telling me to do something or if I was replying to him.

- I can attest that I want people to like me. I hate that about myself. But everything? Love me? That must be emotionally exhausting.
It is. It is so bad that, when I think it counts (by finding someone attractive or I really like) I bail on it. I see it in the eyes of someone with an iota of interest in me...I see the spark...then I feel like arms appear out of nowhere, clench me from my back and suck me away to the uncharted, away from such interactions. Away from such probable intimace. Away from such feelings...


- Yeah dude that's weird. Being loved is a privilege. I can understand if you didn't feel the same way but every time? That just ain't right.
Every.Single.Time. And it is killing me; the thought of 'what could've been' alone is sometimes enough to make me almost give up on hoping, looking, or searching all together.


- Never felt more alive? Yeah, whiskey will do that.
More like freedom since every thing I mentioned there is illegal in the hell whole I spend my childhood in... I guess it is more of a personal revelation and a shout that 'I AM HERE! I EXIST!" more than anything.


- Food hotness by smell? What?
Sorry: I meant I jusde how physically hot food/drink is by my nose. I don't know how common that is. I can't drink/eat anything 'hot' Warm, yes. But not hot. I can also tell if something is sweet or not be smell alone. I have a nose of a dog- or so I'm told.



- All animals are weird when you look at them.

It is more about 'life staring at life' with nothing in common but vision. I try to imagine what worlds another creature perceives and how both our worlds really fit into 'reality'.


- Flying fish as inspiration? Ok.
Think broader. Think in a more conceptualized way: most life came from liquid to dry land. Not this single life form: It flew. It flew! Nothing else bypassed entire continents like that. It's not far or for long, yet still; it flew. even today (and in the future as well) every single being on a boat in the middle of the ocean sees flying fish is beside themselves. Some around the world don't even believe in such ludacris notions. How amazing that such 'ludicracy' exist if only for us to see how ludicriss our own confinement of understanding is.


- To be fair, nearly every generation believes the same thing in your last sentence.
This is taken from Michio Kaku.
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Ok, I don't wanna start a huge reply war.

But I do want to point out a few things:

1. Get professional help. I know you've already tried and it went poorly, perhaps some good GAFer here can help point you in the direction of some proper resources? More than just the suicide thing it seems you have a few things that are dampening your enjoyment of life. Everyone has this to some extent but you're beyond the normal line.

2. As a parent I know all too well that being a parent is terrifying. It's a lot like coding, at your worst you can do a ton of damage but even if you did it perfectly you can't guarantee success. But the secret is to accept the beauty of this. They're their own person able to make of their whatever they want. Yeah it's still scary and all that. But it's totally worth it.
 
I wonder a lot about whether or not I could sit in an adult diaper and shit myself. I don't have some weirdo diaper or baby fetish, and the idea of actually doing it is disgusting, but sometimes I wonder if I could do it or if I'd gag at the last second and run for the commode.
 
bjork said:
I wonder a lot about whether or not I could sit in an adult diaper and shit myself. I don't have some weirdo diaper or baby fetish, and the idea of actually doing it is disgusting, but sometimes I wonder if I could do it or if I'd gag at the last second and run for the commode.
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you mean you just want to try it or you mean if it got to that point in your life where you needed one? im guessing the former since you mentioned running to the shitter.
 
I'm 22 turning 23 soon, and for the past year I've been dating a 17 year old HS junior. We're sexually active, it was our first time for both of us ( we were virgins). I met her when she was 16 nearly 17. She was a junior in HS and got hired on at my work. I remember being dumbstruck by how pretty she was, she had light brown hair, freckles and a nice body. if you had asked me how old she was, i woulda said, 20ish, since she was tall. We began talking, and realized we had a lot in common, she was shy anime nerd who had few friends, she wanted to be a nurse, and she liked video games, we had our differences, she didnt like partying, I did, etc. She was underaged and i was in community college. We both went with our heart and kept it secret because I live in Biloxi, Miss, people here are Christian and not reasonable towards premartial sex, specially underaged sex. if they found out I was in a relation with a 17 year, or even having sex, they'd throw me in jail.

I mainly managed to hide the fact we were dating because her parents were stupid and believed I was her best friend and mine (around here most people live with their parents till they're near 30) didn't care what I did. My friends knew (they're liberal) and begged me to end it because "Dude, shes 17 thats disgusting". I tried to reason with them saying "How can it be disgusting? She's not a little girl. Shes fully grown and mostly mature". And yet they still said "Dude its the age that counts. Until she turns 18 thats disgusting as all hell". :-/

Our relation had grown, and a few months ago we took it to the next level. It was during Valentines, I surprised her with a nice romantic dinner and movie. We were watching a movie, and a love scene came on. She got kinda feisty and said she wanted to do it. Well one thing led to another and the next thing I know we're on the floor naked and having sex. We finish, and she smiles while shes getting dressed saying how she loved me and how it's a shame it may not work out because of the age.

She'll be a senior soon, and her birthday is coming up in October. I do truly love her, and people say we get along like an old married couple. I'm afraid once the secret gets out, I'll be thrown in jail and my life ruined because of a love. I know people are saying "Dude, shes 17 and not mature, shes a HS student and you're an adult", well, I don't see how the age difference helps. I've had no life experience, I've spent my life working at a Walgreens, going to a CC with dreams of going somewhere else, but, as said many people in this town never leave. She's aware she'll probably end up working retail like her parents, or in a dead end job. But she still wants to try.

She wants to be a nurse, but, she can't afford college because she's poor like most of us and her grades arent very good. Am I a disgusting pedophile for falling madly in love and having sexual relations with a 17 year old?
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So, do I think you're a disgusting pedo?
pJEpS.gif
 
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