GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 4.0 the last huzzah

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I NEED SCISSORS said:
My fleshlight had become all moldy because I hadn't used it in a while, but I couldn't risk disposing of it in our own bin. I also couldn't risk putting it in a random neighbor's bin. So I took it into the woods and dumped it there. I feel guilty knowing that a random critter might get its head stuck in it, but there was really no place for it to go..
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What the hell is going on in this thread.
Jebus, this last page has been incredible.
 
I NEED SCISSORS said:
My fleshlight had become all moldy because I hadn't used it in a while, but I couldn't risk disposing of it in our own bin. I also couldn't risk putting it in a random neighbor's bin. So I took it into the woods and dumped it there. I feel guilty knowing that a random critter might get its head stuck in it, but there was really no place for it to go..
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I don't think that's too bad, you should have tore the fleshlight apart before disposing of it.

On a side note, how awesome would it be to have an anonymous dumping site? People could go and throw away the secrets they have been keeping from everyone. During the summer I had to do some major cleaning and had to throw away t-shirt stained with years of semen. Both of the shirts were stained with deep shade of yellow and it smelled horrendously. I had to store them in a plastic bag and throw them out at a garbage bin by a walmart.
 
FairyD said:
I don't think that's too bad, you should have tore the fleshlight apart before disposing of it.

On a side note, how awesome would it be to have an anonymous dumping site? People could go and throw away the secrets they have been keeping from everyone. During the summer I had to do some major cleaning and had to throw away t-shirt stained with years of semen. Both of the shirts were stained with deep shade of yellow and it smelled horrendously. I had to store them in a plastic bag and throw them out at a garbage bin by a walmart.
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Why would anyone ever do that? Just use some tissues, goddamn.
 
FairyD said:
I don't think that's too bad, you should have tore the fleshlight apart before disposing of it.

On a side note, how awesome would it be to have an anonymous dumping site? People could go and throw away the secrets they have been keeping from everyone. During the summer I had to do some major cleaning and had to throw away t-shirt stained with years of semen. Both of the shirts were stained with deep shade of yellow and it smelled horrendously. I had to store them in a plastic bag and throw them out at a garbage bin by a walmart.
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:lol I did this too, are you my soul mate?
 
FairyD said:
I don't think that's too bad, you should have tore the fleshlight apart before disposing of it.

On a side note, how awesome would it be to have an anonymous dumping site? People could go and throw away the secrets they have been keeping from everyone. During the summer I had to do some major cleaning and had to throw away t-shirt stained with years of semen. Both of the shirts were stained with deep shade of yellow and it smelled horrendously. I had to store them in a plastic bag and throw them out at a garbage bin by a walmart.
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I NEED SCISSORS said:
:lol I did this too, are you my soul mate?
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Freaks.
 
I NEED SCISSORS said:
My fleshlight had become all moldy because I hadn't used it in a while, but I couldn't risk disposing of it in our own bin. I also couldn't risk putting it in a random neighbor's bin. So I took it into the woods and dumped it there. I feel guilty knowing that a random critter might get its head stuck in it, but there was really no place for it to go..
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Those things are so fucking gross. I had one for a short time before throwing it out in a bin near a K-Mart for similar reasons. Never again.

Ever since that I can't understand how some dudes fuck those Real Doll things for years. Cleaning one of those things out has gotta be a real bitch.
 
NaughtyCalibur said:
True that. I remember years ago when I was out for a jog I took a shortcut through an alley and caught my neighbor fucking her garden hose out in her back yard getting off on the water pressure. That couldn't have been sanitary.
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Did you normally go jogging at the same time of day? She may have been trying to send a message
 
ronito said:
Don't get me started on girls. I know where those hairbrushes have been ladies.
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A shortlist of the ones I myself have heard: hairbrushes, electric flosser, ringing cellphone, pen, electric toothbrush, rumble-active PS2 controllers, cucumbers...
 
I never understand the sock thing. I get grabbing something near by to clean up, but dudes don't actually jerk off with the sock, do they? That just seems so...rug burny.
 
I never jack off in a sock, I tried once and the lube just soaked through the sock it was disgusting. I had to throw my sock away and I ended up just jacking off normal. People who jack off in socks are disgusting animals.
 
Until I started running these threads (lol I first spelled that ruining subconcious getting the better of me) I thought the sock thing was a joke. Now it's all too real.
 
To defend the sock, it must be a uncircumcised thing, you jerk off and ejaculate into a sock, it's like using a condom. Makes clean up real easy.
 
To be honest the sock thing is something I only hear about on the Internet, so I assumed it was an American-only thing.

Wouldn't it be much simpler to just use your hands?
 
The Anti-Monitor said:
To be honest the sock thing is something I only hear about on the Internet, so I assumed it was an American-only thing.

Wouldn't it be much simpler to just use your hands?
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if i'm jerking off while standing up, i just finish in the tub or toilet. laying down requires a sock or something similar to catch my load, because washing that shit out of body hair is a pain the neck.
 
I just drink my own cum everytime I jizz. Who the hell has the mental fortitude and presence of mind in finding a sock when you're about to climax? Big proteins, big.
 
balddemon said:
if i'm jerking off while standing up, i just finish in the tub or toilet. laying down requires a sock or something similar to catch my load, because washing that shit out of body hair is a pain the neck.
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Dude ...

1) Take a roll of toilet paper

2) Take enough toilet paper to fold into two parallel ends, like double padding except sideways

3) When you cum make sure you just hold the toilet paper over your dick so all the disgusting jizz stays in, instead of all over your hand/lap

I learned this like the 2nd time I jacked off, cmon son.
 
I only....do that...into condoms, and I double up with latex gloves. And then I burn everything. I also don't look myself in the eye. This confession was anonymous.
 
Celegus said:
This new lack of anonymity certainly paints some interesting pictures. Hooray for forward thinking and open mindedness?
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These aren't even spicy confessions though!

The best are the ones where people tell these intricate stories about something they've done or were involved with.
 
I'm not wholly sure if I want to confess to this girl I know that I want her to spit in my mouth. Big globs of her spittle. Right, in, my, mouth.
 
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