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[Choomp]

Had teachers try to pull that on me too.

Shows what they know. I make more than all of them now, and I am not even in the career I want yet

Most Public school teachers are just doing it because they couldnt handle a harder major. Anything they say to kids should be taken with a grain of salt.

I go to a public school and I can actually say that I think that most of them have a genuine liking for what they teach and want their students to enjoy and be successful. My Italian teacher since Freshman year is basically my mom in school(or something idk lol) and my film teacher this year is one of the most knowledgeable people I've ever known. Guy is an institution, he went off on a history tangent once that was more in depth than my actual history class. A lot of these people can be bitter on the outside, but I like the think most of them mean well.

 

[Mesousa]

Yeah, I absolutely loved High School. So many fantastic memories.

Most people say college is a better experience, but it was pretty forgettable for me.

After College > High School > College



This seems like a bit of a stretch, and it honestly sounds like a pretty asshole-ish thing to say. As the son of a teacher, from my experience most public school teachers are teachers because they want to be. What do you mean by "couldn't handle a harder major"? There's teachers with any number of majors, I've had ones with anything from an Art History degree to Biological Science to Quantum Chemistry (lived in Houston, had a few ex-Nasa employees as teachers. My 5th grade teacher even dated one of the guys who was on Columbia when she was younger).

If you don't/didn't want to be a teacher, you're probably not going to last long. Nobody wants to deal with that many kids (and their parents), administration stuff, etc... unless they absolutely want to be there.

Sounds like you are the rare unicorn who went to a decent school in a decent school district. Vast majority of American kids aren't getting that. They are getting people who fell into the job and can't do anything else. Visit a school in any major city. You will see true assholes on display, belittling kids while phoning it in just to cash their check at the end of the week. Hell, in the major city down here(Atlanta) they weren't even trying to teach the kids anymore. Just changing answers on standardized tests so they can pass kids along.

I wish I would have know that then. It took me a long time to recover, but 20 years later I'm near the top of my engineering class and have lead a very entertaining life between high school and college.



You've got memories, I got therapy bills.

Stay strong man. Every success you have in life is proof that they are wrong. I had a teacher try to tell my parents "I would make a good construction worker" during a counselor meeting because I wasn't absent any days....yeah, fuck them.

 

[sn00zer]

I did not like highchool at all. Was always a bit awkward, didnt know how to talk to people, etc. In college though I learned to say yes to new experiences (and when to say to no) and really became the person i am today. Really when you get to college, get off our console/PC and learn to talk to people no matter how painful. made some life long friends i hang out with 5+ years after my undergrad.

So
1. GOT TO CLASS GOD DAMMIT UNLESS YOU ARE LITERALLY VOMITTING BLOOD
2. Dont drink on the weekdays
3. Dont do things you think could hurt you (excess drinking in unsafe places, dont fuck with drugs its a rabbit hole that really only the smartest kno how to handle properly)
4. Do do things that are outside your comfort zone
5. Talk with anyone and everyone
6. It takes htting rock bottom before you find the direction you want to go, its just knowing there is always a way up is the hardest part.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

welcome to life.

high school sucks but it isn't the end, anyone that says "X period of time" is your happiest is full of shit.

 

[Laieon]

Sounds like you are the rare unicorn who went to a decent school in a decent school district. Vast majority of American kids aren't getting that. They are getting people who fell into the job and can't do anything else. Visit a school in any major city. You will see true assholes on display, belittling kids while phoning it in just to cash their check at the end of the week. Hell, in the major city down here(Atlanta) they weren't even trying to teach the kids anymore. Just changing answers on standardized tests so they can pass kids along.

Is Houston not a major city?

My high school was definitely not the best. Fights every day, pretty mediocre test scores, incredibly mediocre sports results, etc... (Just look at those "proficient in English/Math" scores!).

If you put in the effort to succeed, you have a great time. If you don't, you're probably not going to enjoy yourself.

 

[Zaphod]

Stay strong man. Every success you have in life is proof that they are wrong. I had a teacher try to tell my parents "I would make a good construction worker" during a counselor meeting because I wasn't absent any days....yeah, fuck them.

Thanks man. When I reflect, I am amazed how callus and unthinking some of the teachers could be with their "advice" towards students. I know not all teachers are awful, but a bad one can inflict some nasty long lasting damage. In my particular school I don't think it was just me either, I know at least six high school classmates who have graduated from my college recently and they all blame the delay on our high school's negative enforcement applied to students who did not conform.

If you put in the effort to succeed, you have a great time. If you don't, you're probably not going to enjoy yourself.

I'm sorry, no amount of addition effort would have improved my high school experience.

 

[Zaphod]

.

 

[Hip Hop]

I'm sorry, no amount of addition effort would have improved my high school experience.

How did you do with friends in High School?

I too did have shit teachers here and there, but for me, socializing made it up for it all.

 

[Zaphod]

Did you make friends in High School?

I too did have shit teachers here and there, but for me, socializing made it up for it all.

I made some great life long friends that I still see weekly, mainly because we bonded through surviving that shit hole. I'm just troubled by the idea that anyone who had a bad time in high school just didn't try hard enough. Its a tough and formative time, and sometimes it just plain sucks.

Edit: Ok, I was a bit cranky. I agree that trying is important, no matter that situation. The effort I used to connect with my friends has been a great benefit. Giving up is not what I'm advocating for. Sometimes though, a change of scenery can be an improvement. For a daily example, I enjoy my hours on campus over the time I spent in my in my small town job because the campus environment is more varied and stimulates me more.

 

[Mesousa]

Is Houston not a major city?

My high school was definitely not the best. Fights every day, pretty mediocre test scores, incredibly mediocre sports results, etc... (Just look at those "proficient in English/Math" scores!).

If you put in the effort to succeed, you have a great time. If you don't, you're probably not going to enjoy yourself.

I feel even more shame about my high school looking at your school. That is miles ahead of mine on that same site

 

[Whom_Gods_Annoy]

Im sorry to hear that OP. I just graduated and am a freshman in college right now and I loved almost all of high school. Easily the best out of it, primary, and middle school. I took four AP classes my senior year and it helped me get close to and become friends of people who were dedicated academically. I'm not sure if it's too late for you to do that now but in any classes you find challenging there are no doubt others who feel the same way. Study groups are a fantastic way to get to know other people, at least for me.

Also like others have said, join clubs and things that you never would have given a second thought to before. Some of my buddies told me to sign up for Cross Country Sophmore year and, even though I was a pretty lame runner, I made some of my best High School memories in doing so.

And it wasn't like I was super suave either. I was quiet save for around my group of best friends, but I had a huge pool of acquaintances that made me realize that maybe 6% of your classmates are completely secure about their self image and what others think of them. Just remember that almost everyone you know is in that same boat as you and you will find talking to others a lot easier.

It's also sad to hear about other people having abysmal teachers. I was and am still in Oklahoma but live in a college town that was able to garner a lot of really great teachers that I loved. A good teacher can make or break a class and in some cases a whole year depending on how tough the course is.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

welcome to life.

high school sucks but it isn't the end, anyone that says "X period of time" is your happiest is full of shit.

Agreed.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=z-f7BX6R0dE

Can't assume any period will be the happiest. That's different for everyone. But odds are you don't peak in high school.

 

[You Are Viewtiful]

welcome to life.

high school sucks but it isn't the end, anyone that says "X period of time" is your happiest is full of shit.

Too true.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I am a shining example of what one can achieve without a highschool deploma.
Herpa derp.

 

[RetroMG]

I'm going to tell you what I wish someone had told me at your age, OP.

It's going to be all right.

It may not happen today or tomorrow. You might have to work for it. But it's gonna be okay.

This is what you're going to do. Everyday starting tomorrow I want you to go out and talk to at least 5 woman a day. They don't have to be girls you're attracted to and you don't even have to flirt with them. Simply start a conversation, it could be as simple as "wow i like your shoes." It'll be difficult for you at first but after a week that anxiety will be gone. In 1 week you'll have talked to at least 35 girls, you might even get lucky and get some numbers. Eventually you'll not only be able to talk to girls as if it was nothing, but that fear of talking to people will be gone.


don't give no fucking excuses, do it. Report back to me in a week and tell me how it went

Listen to this Prinny. It doesn't even have to be women, (though it would probably be best,) but just go talk to people. Start small. I used to be terminally shy, but I forced myself to talk to people, and then I was forced to talk to people, and now talking to people, for the most part, doesn't scare me.

You're worried about not knowing what you want to do with your life. You know what? That's okay. A LOT of people are in your shoes, and a lot of them have been there for a very long time. It may take you a while to decide what you want, and even then you may change your mind as you grow older. But you'll figure it out eventually.

Don't give up on High School, but know that it's not the end-all-be-all of your life, either. Take this time to become comfortable with yourself, because that's what really matters.

You're alive today, Choomp, and you have your whole life ahead of you. You're going to make some mistakes, and that's okay, as long as you learn from them. As you grow, you will (hopefully) become more comfortable in your own skin, and from there, I'm sure you're going to be great.

Keep your chin up, it's going to be all right.

 

[NYCmetsfan]

Dude high school sucks for most. Your right where so many other people have been. Life has a way of working out. It sounds so cliché now but you'll see in a few years.

Like many have said is you just have to do things. That's when life works the best

 

[Choomp]

Dude high school sucks for most. Your right where so many other people have been. Life has a way of working out. It sounds so cliché now but you'll see in a few years.

Like many have said is you just have to do things. That's when life works the best

Thanks.

Spoiler

LETSGOMETSLETSGOMETSAAAAAAAA

 

[farisr]

Just do what you love, stop overanalyzing the things you're doing.

I was socially terrible, like if I get thrown into a situation, I was fine, but I would never initiate. Just don't ignore or go away from those opportunities (if you want to be more socially active) and do what you like rather than trying to conform to what the society at large thinks is "normal"

If your current group of friends are doing shit to get in trouble with the police and you don't want to do it, then don't. That's perfectly fine. In high school I had 3 different groups of friends as I went through it. The last year, I didn't have any set people I was hanging out with.

My last year of high school, I always had a spare class in a between or at the end of the day, so basically what my last year involved was me playing basketball before, during lunch, during the spare and after school because I loved it. During the winter, I'd either just go home, or finish homework during the spare if it was in between classes. Went home did whatever.

If you are interested in this girl you talked about, and know she isn't involved with someone else, go for it. Otherwise you could regret it later.

Long story short, if you want to be social, and someone gives you the opportunity to interact with them, do it. Do the things you like, don't feel pressured to do things what "someone should do in high school".

Despite heartbreak, betrayals by friends, health issues, and spending time alone for a decent portion of high school, overall I enjoyed high school. The only times I was miserable was when I was "trying to do the high school" thing and failing at it. Thankfully I had figured that out by the middle of grade 10.

 

[Hibiki Kurosawa]

Sounds to me like you might have social anxiety and it's a bitch. A true hell on earth that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Only advice I can give right now is just fight to talk to people more and more even if it feels weird/wrong/uncomfortable. Socializing will begin to come more naturally to you. It will take a long time (there's no quick and easy fix), but if you stay dedicated and motivated you won't regret it. It will be tough as hell, but it'll be worth it.

 

[Kwixotik]

My advice is to watch Freaks and Geeks

Just do it

 

[Captainbojanglesiii]

Nvm

 

[The Technomancer]

Anyone who says high school is the best years of your life is either a liar or hasn't done much with their life. It's only up from here. Adulthood rocks if you let it

 

[Shadowdude]

Huh, sounds like how I was back in high school.
I'm 20, second year of community college and having the time of my life, and I'm completely different than how I was back in high school.

I don't know if it will help, but going to college will change you. You'll be in a completely new environment, around people of all ages, and surprisingly enough, you won't be surrounded by the bullshit self-conscious behavior of high school. You'll feel more in control of your educational path. It will feel very, very good, and it will only get better after you get out.

Tough it out for a bit, it gets better.

 

[Exr]

High school means fuck all oncw you leave. Life gets a lot more fun.

 

[The Lamp]

Anyone who says high school is the best years of your life is either a liar or hasn't done much with their life. It's only up from here. Adulthood rocks if you let it

Yup. I feel sorry for the people who peaked in high school. High school sucks ass. It's drama + hormones + emotional immaturity + social hierarchy but with none of the cool adult privileges like going out drinking or owning your own place and stuff.

 

[EightBitNate]

Yup. I feel sorry for the people who peaked in high school. High school sucks ass. It's drama + hormones + emotional immaturity + social hierarchy but with none of the cool adult privileges like going out drinking or owning your own place and stuff.

It's silly to use your high school experience to write off everyone else's. Everyone's different.

 

[Helmholtz]

High school sucked. I still don't really have my shit together 5 years after high school but I hope I'm on the right track. But I'll be damned if I ever had to go through that shit again.

 

[Weetrick]

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Nobody knows what they want to be in high school and everybody is a little awkward. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life until I was already in college.
I also never dated anyone in high school so don't worry about that either. I'm married now.

My advice: Be true to yourself. Your calling in life will come to you eventually. You're a teenager still!
Surround yourself with positive people. Be nice to people that are nice to you and don't worry about being perceived as awkward.

Good luck OP, you're OK in my book.

 

[MogCakes]

I have exactly one friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, and that's only on occasion. College is where life slaps you in the face. You will be a different person after a couple years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKsI6KaMr4E

Listen and heed their wisdom.

 

[The Lamp]

It's silly to use your high school experience to write off everyone else's. Everyone's different.

Do high schools not have drama?
Do teenagers not have hormones?
Are teenagers not on average emotionally immature in comparison to fully-developed adults?
Do high schools not have social hierarchies (popularity, teams, organizations, 4 years of age distinction that affects this, student government, etc.)?

What I am talking about is pretty standard for all high schools, no?

 

[EightBitNate]

Do high schools not have drama?
Do teenagers not have hormones?
Are teenagers not on average emotionally immature in comparison to fully-developed adults?
Do high schools not have social hierarchies (popularity, teams, organizations, 4 years of age distinction that affects this, student government, etc.)?

What I am talking about is pretty standard for all high schools, no?

From my own experience, college was a lot worse. Classes became harder, I was removed from all the friends I had made in high school, the food was shitty, my roommate sucked. What you said can be true, but things were different for me (and a lot of other people, I imagine).

 

[Sanjuro]

I felt some of the very same things you are thinking right now in your life.

My best advice? You ain't shit! You are still in the portion of your life where immediate choices won't harm you. Relax a bit.

You don't need to define yourself in this last year of high school. What you should do are peruse things that make you happy. It's important to feel liked and social, but the truth is the people around you aren't likely to mean shit in the long term. Take it as lightly as you possible.

 

[Choomp]

Sorry to bump this thread but I'm having some serious anxiety thanks to my pretty hard to fix anti-social tendencies. The good words from this thread made me feel better last time so I'm turning to this again

 

[ElMexiMerican]

OP, I was almost exactly in your shoes last year. Since you are applying for colleges, make sure to join some clubs that hold your interest, take some classes that interest you. I too have always been more shy and I get really anxious when trying to talk to people and initiate conversation. It's something that's been a real hinderence for me and I spent a lot of time by myself because of it. I don't know if you have a job or not, but I would seriously suggest looking out for one as well . I took up a job as a cashier for a while and that alone helped me start to ease out of my shell some more, and it has slowly become much easier to start a conversation with others I don't know and (to me more importantly) keep one going.

I would also agree with others that you should relax. Don't feel pressured that you have to make this last piece of your high school year something fantastical. It's just a blip on the radar in the grand scheme of things. Think about what you enjoy doing the most at the moment you're reading this and kind of lean towards that. Take it little by little, save the big steps for when you're in college.

Also, about that girl. If you like her you need to tell her. It's your last semester, you may not see her that often if at all anymore. She may like you, she may not, in the end it's better to not have that little regret on your chest if you do like her. I almost had that but I had the sudden realization halfway through my final semester that I wasn't going to live with that, so I did something about it and the feeling of that little piece of regret leaving was one of the best feelings I have felt that entire school year.

 

[MrGerbils]

Get in to some trouble while you're young and you still can! You sound a little uptight and itd probably do you well to loosen up a little. Who knows, you may even like it.

You're clearly not happy the way things are right now, so change it up! You can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.

 

[Northeastmonk]

High School is either something you remember or something you forget altogether. Kids see high school as being something that it's not.

Your best friend may or may not be your friend in 5 years or less. Teens go off to college, work, or join the military. I think some of us felt security during these times or we fought back against authority. You don't know what real life is like because you're still a minor being catered to by the system and by your parents. IMO teens feel trapped or they are sorta set to go on one path or the other. You have to become an adult one way or another. When high school ends you aren't looked at as this carefree person in some ways.

To me, we had less responsibilities and our parents payed the price. When we were corrected or told we were wrong about life; we got mad and we fought back. You feel this way because your high school friends were part of high school. Your mentality and the way you look at life will change regardless of how you see things. Some people in high school don't know what it's like because they only see the dramatics or something they think is either too serious or not serious at all.

You gotta stay strong and just graduate. Get a job or go to college. Leave the days of high school in the past because it basically boils down to getting a diploma and that's it.

I had classmates who got pregnant, abortions, suicides, drugs, expelled because of something, and then there were some amazing times with friends and girlfriends. It's all over with and I don't have anything to do or even really remember about them. Try not to make a big deal out of everything and you'll do fine.

You have to think about your record because a mark as an adult can make things absolutely horrible. It is not something to take lightly either.

 

[Not]

I'm so socially terrible I hate myself for it. I don't know why I get so awkward, it's like a subconscious thing, when I'm around people I'm comfortable with I can make pretty good conversation and often make them laugh, I don't know what's wrong with me, I think I overthink it, I dont like to initiate with people I'm not familiar with, and I hate myself for it. I really hate trying to read people and not coming off as too weird. There are people I'd really like to get to know but I don't know how to initiate with them without being awkward. Some people seem to like me too, I just don't know where I'd be getting weird with people sometimes. There's also this cute girl that's always really nice to me, I don't know what to make of it a lot of the time and I can't tell if she's just overly nice/social or she likes me.

Oh man, this was me in high school to a T. Don't forget to look at girls, especially pretty girls, as human beings just like you--trying to navigate through life and trying to figure shit out--and not just as potential personal life-improvers. Y'know? It's hard, but I'd get asking if she's interested in a relationship out of the way immediately, even if the answer is going to hurt your ego or harm your friendship. It's better than being clueless and perpetually hopeful.

I got lucky, I got ripped in high school and a girl saw me with my shirt off and asked me out lol. At that point I was still more socially awkward than comfortably introverted and only vaguely vaguely attractive

(<see for yourself)

so it was a right place right time kinda thing. Even more so that the relationship is still going six and a half years later (go figure). But I was trying to force it before then but it didn't do any good, I just came off as even dumber to the people around me. Someone told me recently that the most important thing to be is just ok with yourself. Easier said than done for sure-- but I'd recommend finding someone who it's really easy to communicate with IRL and just talking about everything. It doesn't have to be a girlfriend.

 

[Wolf Dawgz]

Sorry to bump this thread but I'm having some serious anxiety thanks to my pretty hard to fix anti-social tendencies. The good words from this thread made me feel better last time so I'm turning to this again

right now I'm 21 turning 22 this March. Everything is going to be alright. One important thing to note that high-school isn't the end all be all. It will actually probably feel insignificant even a year from now.
First for yourself:
Focus on improving yourself in little ways, and progressively work towards something. This could be exercising in some sort of capacity. Even if one thing doesn't work out for you,

Here are some things you can do to improve your social habits:

1. Try to smile. You'll be surprised how elevated your feelings can when you can just from smiling. There's scientific research that can prove that just by using your facial muscles to smile, than you'll report yourself having more positive emotions(not knowing that you're moving the muscles)

2. Assume everybody is a good person. Not everybody is an asshole, and even the assholes have some good qualities in them.

3. Small Talk. Just pick something about the environment you're in such as the weather, or how hard this class is. It may seemed forced, but engaging it is a good way to break the ice. It helps show each other that you're safe. Just assume the people are good like above. I've never seen somebody react in a really negative way about it. If they do they might just be in a bad mood, or people you wouldn't want to be friends with anyways. This small talk is the first step in breaking the ice. If you don't feel a connection, that's alright.

4. Try to be genuinely interested in what people are saying. Ask people questions about what they like doing, or about something you see. People will usually lead the conversation form there, especially the extroverted ones. It's like pressing the auto-socialize button. You'll end up learning a lot more about somebody else's perspective on life. Heck, they might instigate questions out of you.

I want to post a bit more, but I'm nfeeling kind of sick now.

check out Mental Health GAF for more on your anxiety issues. PM me if you want to talk some time.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Sorry to bump this thread but I'm having some serious anxiety thanks to my pretty hard to fix anti-social tendencies. The good words from this thread made me feel better last time so I'm turning to this again

Hang out with other anti social people, there's nothing wrong with being a loner other than people making you feel bad because you are different. It's ok. To pursue your own interests you don't have to join In groups just because everyone else does. It gets easier.

 

[zewone]

High school doesn't mean shit, man.

If you end school being unpopular or without friends it's nowhere near the end of the road.

Go to college, get a job, meet new people. Your life hasn't even started yet.

 

[Daingurse]

Barely made it through fucking high-school. My depression manifested itself around my Jr. Year, and I almost dropped out completely. Fact that I graduated and didn't have to get something like GED is remarkable frankly. Don't know how I pulled anything together. Just try your best man. At-least know that you aren't alone and that other people have been where you are now, and somehow lived to tell the tale.

 

[...Scatter...]

Sign up for some volunteer work. You could be a great help to the community, meet new people, and go to bed at night feeling like you did some good in this world. You'd be more active, engaged, and satisfied. Try it!

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

High school is a drag. College is where the fun starts. Go to parties when invited. Talk to people you might not normally talk to, and just try to keep the conversation light.

Have sex with anyone that offers it.

Life is good.

 

[...Scatter...]

Have sex with anyone that offers it.

Life is good.

Bad advice. Have sex within reasonable limits. That one night is fleeting, but Herpes is forever.

 

[yepyepyep]

High School is crap. Don't worry if you are unpopular or don't have any friends. The social hierarchy of school is literally meaningless. The first years out of school can be a bit daunting as well because for the first time in your life you don't have a set schedule or goal dictated by an external authority. Most people take a couple of years to figure what they want to do.

But eventually through life experience you will find goals and purposes you can set to achieve.

 

[Hoo-doo]

Some of the advice in here is embarassing.

Hey you, just turn into someone you're absolutely factually not and fake having a good time! Have sex, drink booze!
Like there's a 'be social' switch you can just flip at will. Guess what, life doesn't work like that.

OP. Just tough it out for another year and enter college with a clean slate doing something you really love. And that means doing research beforehand. Because cliche'd as it sounds, when you're actually passionate about something, it doesn't feel like studying, it feels like working on your dream career.

Don't worry so much about the importance of high school. In the grand scheme of things it's really not even worth stressing about. But, and I want to emphasise this, try and figure out where you would want to see yourself in ten, twenty years and work on that goal. Being in college with people with shared interests will lead to plenty of actually reliable, good new friends. Years from now you'll be looking up the people you thought had it made in high school and see that they never left that dump of a town or gotten married with three kids at 23.

 

[Violet_0]

the earlier to start working on your person, the better. Go to the gym to improve your own self-image and become more confident. Find productive hobbies and activities that interest you and dedicate time to them to increase your skill set. Videogames/TV shows/whatever are a nice distraction but sitting at home all day passively consuming media will not get you any further in life. Start socializing more, join clubs, do stuff like taking dance lesson or life drawing or join the volleyball team to meet new people and get out of your comfort zone, as you said. Value your time and do as many things as you can, you'll be better for it in the long run

Sorry to bump this thread but I'm having some serious anxiety thanks to my pretty hard to fix anti-social tendencies. The good words from this thread made me feel better last time so I'm turning to this again

did you follow any of the advise in this thread? If so, did you give up early? The best remedy for anti-social tendencies are group activities of almost any kind really

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

Sorry to bump this thread but I'm having some serious anxiety thanks to my pretty hard to fix anti-social tendencies. The good words from this thread made me feel better last time so I'm turning to this again

It's really hard, but your worth is not determined by people liking you. Trust me, it is worth being true to yourself even if you are not popular.


There are books, websites and ways that can help with social ques. Things like looking at people, not talking bad about yourself, trying to remain calms. Things like that can help in people opening up. But people are also very weary and selfish- We like being around people who make us feel good, and the unfortunate side effect of this is that sometimes when people with anexiety are around, they feel anxious as well. Sort of how happy people rub off on others, being uncomfortable, tense, scared or angry can as well.

A lot of people are not comfortable in their own skin, and its a lifelong battle that few master. But the thing is, that you really have to want to improve yourself. Look for success in other arenas. School might just not be your thing- It sure as hell wasn't my.

But there are many places to find likeminded people. It doesn't even have to revolve around getting friends, friends. You can have an enriched social life by having good coworkers you talk well with, or do sports with nice people who come from all different walks of life, or volunteering where people selflessly have the best intentions and empathy.


It's a tactical mistake to think that school is a battlefield that has to be won. Get through school, be true to yourself, do not be addicted to attention, try to be honest and work on doing your best. Don't seek being popular here. For many good people, school was not for them. Where those popular kids are now, is not where they will be.

There is a test of character in being true to yourself. My own anecdotal experience has been that the kids who didn't jump on the bandwagons like smoking, drinking and all that for the sake of being cool or fitting in, carried that "take me as I am or get the fuck out of my way" attitude into adultlife, and honked a lot of respect and admiration from people who did dumb stuff to be liked.
There are sometimes where you have to make an effort to follow the social tendencies and give things a chance (parties, social gatherings) but there are also times where it is wise to burn the bridge. So don't cut yourself short. Not necessarily.


If I could back to my highschool I would have told myself that being hard on myself didn't make me better. I thought it was a motivational whip for being better, faster, stronger, but the truth is, that once you become an adult it begins to become apparent, that most people don't know what the fuck is going on, most people people are just trying to make it through and keeping up appearance. You will be surprised at how many people who you might think have it so easy and just get through school so casually, actually have demons you couldn't even imagine.
Some people are amazing socially, but are terrible at being alone. Some people are really beautiful and have great bodies and get a lot of attention from the other sex, but think that people only like them for their bodies and think that they intellectually are incompetent or dumb and that their personality is gross. You'll find a counter, in most people.

It doesn't mean your anxiety is not real, but it is something you have to deal with. It's your demon, it's not going away, but you can work at it and it can get better and more manageable. Anyone who says it can't improved is lying. Come to terms with what you have, and find a plan of attack at how you can make it better. You absolutely can. It all comes up to you. Being brave, means facing your fears. Being determined, means doing it even if its hard or feels impossible unrealistic. So I say, be brave and determined.

 

[Sleight of Jam]

Don't worry OP, you're working yourself up too much. I've been in a similar situation.

If possible try and take part in activities that are outside your comfort zone (not that would get you in trouble with the police ofc), I don't know what kind things you do with your friends already, but I myself, went to concerts, festivals, theme parks, raves, and picked up new hobbies. All of which (minus hobbies) pushed me out of my comfort zone as I felt I was missing out on what other people are doing.

After experiencing - multiple times - all that I pushed myself to do, I realised that i'm happy being myself (fairly introverted) and not to worry on what other people are doing. I'll still go out with friends once or twice a week, but I enjoy my alone time and spending it with the gf.

So I would say maybe push yourself a little bit to get out of your comfort zone, experience new things and see if you enjoy them, and don't be ashamed if you don't.

 

[Meffer]

Hey OP, I didn't have a good high school life either. I moved a lot during that time and my grades suffered because of that when I did much better in middle school. I lived with my dad which was the wrong choice and that didn't help either.
You'll be okay, you don't have to know what you want to do after high school. That type of thing takes time. Go your pace, and I highly suggest going to community college that way when you do know what to do, you'll have basic classes and credits out of the way.