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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
- Thread starter Replicant
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SpaceBridge
Member
royalan said:
double *cough*
BTW royalan, is your avatar Lauryn Hill?
SpaceBridge
Member
Kyon said:
I wasnt sure dude, she's been MIA for so long. I miss Lauryn Hill.
SpaceBridge said:
Yes it is. A remnant from the last time Neogaf had a I'm-not-racist-I-just-feel-the-need-to-emphatically-state-i'm-not-attracted-to-black-girls-whenever-someone-posts-about-one post. lol
EDIT: It's one of the most recent pics of her BEFORE she went clown crazy.
SpaceBridge
Member
ciD_Vain said:Well, it is my duty to serve you what you like and how you like it. If you're experience isn't satisfying, let me know what i need to do to make it that way
Im done for the night. C ya all tomorrow, ladies.
I can relate. I have had my share of issues with my father, but not nearly as bad as my brothers have, and they're both straight. My father once called my mom really drunk (they got a divorce due to his abusive alcoholic behavior) and asked her if i was gay. I will change the names for privacy, but according to my mom, these were his words:idwl said:Question.
Most of the gay/bi guys I have met tend to have had 'daddy issues' when they were younger, So have I . Which made me wonder if there is a relationship between being gay and looking for a male figure in your life. I don't know
Have any of you guys had 'daddy issues'?
Dad:"Is Cid gay? Tell me if he's gay or not."
Mom:"I don't know, why don't you ask him yourself?"
Dad:"I don't need to; i know he is. Your nephew Joe is gay and my nephew Matt is gay so that means one of our kids has to be gay."
Mom:"Are you serious?" *hangs up phone*
*Accuses ciD for sexual harassment during his shift. Reason? Didn't harassed enough*
re: "Daddy Issues"
In my case, I've known I'm gay since...well since I have memory (and I still remember bits of me in the crib).
No "daddy issues"... I guess. My parents were awesome, still are. Recently celebrated 42 years married.
re: "Daddy Issues"
In my case, I've known I'm gay since...well since I have memory (and I still remember bits of me in the crib).
No "daddy issues"... I guess. My parents were awesome, still are. Recently celebrated 42 years married.
idwl said:Question.
Most of the gay/bi guys I have met tend to have had 'daddy issues' when they were younger, So have I . Which made me wonder if there is a relationship between being gay and looking for a male figure in your life. I don't know
Have any of you guys had 'daddy issues'?
I used to be afraid of that when I was kid and questioning the validity of my sexuality. I used to hear when I was kid how gay guys were just sissy boys with no strong male models, as is the case with me. I was raised by a single mother for most of my childhood. And she was a hairstylist, no less.
But then I got older, went to college, and met other gay men from "healthy" two-parent households, and plenty of straight men from single mother households, and got over it.
SpaceBridge
Member
idwl said:Question.
Most of the gay/bi guys I have met tend to have had 'daddy issues' when they were younger, So have I . Which made me wonder if there is a relationship between being gay and looking for a male figure in your life. I don't know
Have any of you guys had 'daddy issues'?
Okay, Ill answer this tomorow, but you have opened a can of worms my friend.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
No daddy issues for me, although a few days after I came out, my mom panicked and asked if it was because my dad worked too much instead of hanging out and bonding with me, haha. I assured her he was a wonderful father and it was no one's "fault."
I suppose there's a case to be made for this, with a less involved or non-existent father comes the desire to fill that void with your romantic interests later in life, but I certainly don't know enough about the psychology of it all to comment any deeper. Do you think the reverse would be true? I've always had an affinity for younger guys, and like the idea of being supportive and reliable, someone they can lean on and get positive validation from, along with sexytime. -__-
Stable family hi-five! My parents have been together for 42 years, too.
I suppose there's a case to be made for this, with a less involved or non-existent father comes the desire to fill that void with your romantic interests later in life, but I certainly don't know enough about the psychology of it all to comment any deeper. Do you think the reverse would be true? I've always had an affinity for younger guys, and like the idea of being supportive and reliable, someone they can lean on and get positive validation from, along with sexytime. -__-
fernoca said:
Stable family hi-five! My parents have been together for 42 years, too.
ZephyrFate
Banned
chatting up an 18 year old bisexual boy on OkCupid who has never been with a guy before (aside from one makeout session). I'm wondering if it's worth it, considering I'm like four years older than him and probably sound like some pretentious old man
the worst part is that I KNOW he's just out of high school and it kinda bugs me
the worst part is that I KNOW he's just out of high school and it kinda bugs me
Hi! If you don't mind me asking, what is it about men around your age that you don't like?Cosmic Bus said:No daddy issues for me, although a few days after I came out, my mom panicked and asked if it was because my dad worked too much instead of hanging out and bonding with me, haha. I assured her he was a wonderful father and it was no one's "fault."
I suppose there's a case to be made for this, with a less involved or non-existent father comes the desire to fill that void with your romantic interests later in life, but I certainly don't know enough about the psychology of it all to comment any deeper. Do you think the reverse would be true? I've always had an affinity for younger guys, and like the idea of being supportive and reliable, someone they can lean on and get positive validation from, along with sexytime. -__-
Stable family hi-five! My parents have been together for 42 years, too.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Do you mean if it's worth talking to him or worth (presumably) going on a date? Either way, you act like an 18 year old with a 22 year old is some absurd age gap, which is very very silly, and besides, isn't "converting" the curious some sort of weird fantasy for a lot of gay guys?
ZephyrFate
Banned
He's cute and I kind of want to shove my tongue down his throat.royalan said:
i'm not acting like the age gap is absurd, just that he's not particularly date-worthy when his interests are in TV shows like Tosh.0 and his favorite film is... Resident Evil
i mean, he BLEEDS 18 years old. haha
Relating to the daddy issue thing:
My parents are still together and have been for 26 years. its just my dad is a workaholic and I barely saw him till I was 10 when he retired. Then he stayed at home for 4 years got bored of retirement and went back to work. Now he has gone back to being obsessed with his work. In the past 6 years our longest conversation has probably been 5-10 minutes long(usually a lecture).
Thing is he talks to my 2 brothers but I tend to be ignored. He came over for a week a few months ago and I tried to talk to him but he didn't show much interest, He'd go out with his friends to dinner ,come home , watch news then sleep. It was killing me on the inside - so as soon as he was gone I felt I needed some male 'company'.
I Really don't know. I'm not blaming him for my gay/bi-ness ( I alternate) but it just made me wonder
My parents are still together and have been for 26 years. its just my dad is a workaholic and I barely saw him till I was 10 when he retired. Then he stayed at home for 4 years got bored of retirement and went back to work. Now he has gone back to being obsessed with his work. In the past 6 years our longest conversation has probably been 5-10 minutes long(usually a lecture).
Thing is he talks to my 2 brothers but I tend to be ignored. He came over for a week a few months ago and I tried to talk to him but he didn't show much interest, He'd go out with his friends to dinner ,come home , watch news then sleep. It was killing me on the inside - so as soon as he was gone I felt I needed some male 'company'.
I Really don't know. I'm not blaming him for my gay/bi-ness ( I alternate
) but it just made me wonderZephyrFate
Banned
I have no idea where this converting nonsense is coming from. One of my best friends is bisexual and I have no urge to 'convert' him. Bisexual guys are really hot.royalan said:
origamipirate
Member
ZephyrFate said:He's cute and I kind of want to shove my tongue down his throat.
i'm not acting like the age gap is absurd, just that he's not particularly date-worthy when his interests are in TV shows like Tosh.0 and his favorite film is... Resident Evil
i mean, he BLEEDS 18 years old. haha
... I have never felt so like an old man as I do RIGHT NOW.
(and to the daddy issues question, none here.)
ZephyrFate
Banned
"Get off my lawn!"origamipirate said:
He's cute and I kind of want to shove my tongue down his throat.
i'm not acting like the age gap is absurd, just that he's not particularly date-worthy when his interests are in TV shows like Tosh.0 and his favorite film is... Resident Evil
i mean, he BLEEDS 18 years old. haha
Then why worry about it? If it's a physical thing you're after, and he's interested, go for it. He's of legal age...and it's not like 22 is over-the-hill.
Right??? I'm 25 and feeling like a geezer now. lol
origamipirate
Member
ZephyrFate said:
I was actually like "That sounds exhausting." (I'm only 29, lol)
ZephyrFate
Banned
because I don't think he wants just a hook up. and I'm kinda leaning more towards that. and I kind of just want to play along so we just fool around.royalan said:
My dick is speaking more for me than my mind is. I'm not worrying about it, if that's how I'm coming across that is the exact opposite. More... contemplating
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
ciD_Vain said:
"Don't like" is too strong a term, but I have zero sexual attraction to older men or ones my own age (mid-30s). I can certainly see the appeal and have no trouble seeing an middle-aged man as handsome or whatever, but there's literally no desire, no "pull" for me.
Now, I've spent years of my life self-analyzing it, and all I can say is that a) I had a very late start in terms of any kind of sexual interest and didn't even choose to identify as gay until around 24, so that obviously plays a role in it, and b) I still don't really feel or look or act like someone my age. Only recently decided to go to college, don't own a car or house, never traveled, no real accomplishments to speak of... It leads to me having very little in common with the average 30-something man, and much more with the younger set. It's worth noting, too, that I'm not unintelligent or a creeper or some gross high-school-party-crasher, and yes, I completely understand the social stigma of an age gap of 10+ years (cradle-robber! what could you possibly have in common? etc) but I'm very particular in the type of person I would be interested in and am accepting of the idea that I may never be able to have a "normal" relationship or even one at all. But y'know, that's fine. I can't control my attractions. *shrug*
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
ZephyrFate said:
Wait, aren't you part of the crowd who believes bisexuality doesn't exist and that these folks are just itchin' to jump off that fence?
ZephyrFate
Banned
No? Nor have I been a part of that crowd for the better part of a year.Cosmic Bus said:
ZephyrFate
Banned
hmm... well I guess I'll have to try it out.HylianTom said:
I would kind of prefer if he liked reading in his spare time..
origamipirate
Member
Cosmic Bus said:
Hey, one of the best relationships of my life was when I was 21 dating a 32 year old. He was pretty similar to how you describe yourself, and it was BY FAR the healthiest relationship I was ever in, and I learned SO MUCH about... well, everything. Haters gonna hate, but hopefully you don't let it bug ya. So long as you're not a creep and you're happy, more power.
Wordsgohere
Neo Member
And this is why I don't often get along well with people my own age - at least locally.ZephyrFate said:i'm not acting like the age gap is absurd, just that he's not particularly date-worthy when his interests are in TV shows like Tosh.0 and his favorite film is... Resident Evil
i mean, he BLEEDS 18 years old. haha
At any rate, if I were in your position I would totally go for it.
Since we're all sharing.
I'm starting to get the impression that my roommate might be too close. Or atleast, everyone's starting to think so. lol
My roommate and I don't hook up or anything. However, we did date briefly when we first met years ago, and the result of that I think is that we're just really comfortable around each other. We use each other's stuff. We both walk around the house naked, and go into the bathroom when the other's in it. And we're both pretty open about our sex lives. We tell each other everything. Both of us at one point have walked in on the other doing something "inappropriate" with another guy in a public space of the house...and not really cared.
I was telling some of my coworkers this while we were out drinking one night, including the one time we threw a party at the house and my roommate and his [then] boyfriend got into a competition when another couple over who looked better giving head, and ended "challenging" each other on the couch in front of everyone. Needless to say, my coworkers were pretty shocked. Granted, the party incident was a little far out, but I suppose I never really stopped to think about how possibly odd the dynamic of our friendship is.
Anybody else ever been this close to a roommate? lol
I'm starting to get the impression that my roommate might be too close. Or atleast, everyone's starting to think so. lol
My roommate and I don't hook up or anything. However, we did date briefly when we first met years ago, and the result of that I think is that we're just really comfortable around each other. We use each other's stuff. We both walk around the house naked, and go into the bathroom when the other's in it. And we're both pretty open about our sex lives. We tell each other everything. Both of us at one point have walked in on the other doing something "inappropriate" with another guy in a public space of the house...and not really cared.
I was telling some of my coworkers this while we were out drinking one night, including the one time we threw a party at the house and my roommate and his [then] boyfriend got into a competition when another couple over who looked better giving head, and ended "challenging" each other on the couch in front of everyone. Needless to say, my coworkers were pretty shocked. Granted, the party incident was a little far out, but I suppose I never really stopped to think about how possibly odd the dynamic of our friendship is.
Anybody else ever been this close to a roommate? lol
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Regarding things in common with (or simply tolerating) younger guys, I do find most of them as annoying or simple-minded as the rest of you, so that's why I really value the few I can have great conversations with, share plenty of similar interests, AND have an attraction going with.
No worries, just thought I remembered you expressing a very different viewpoint on it a while back, but obviously I haven't kept up with things.
ZephyrFate said:
No worries, just thought I remembered you expressing a very different viewpoint on it a while back, but obviously I haven't kept up with things.
A little late to the topic but, no daddy issues here. In fact, I have a much stronger relationship with my father than with my mother. Well, I really barely have any relationship with my mother aside for basic formalities but that's a completely different story.
And about the age gap, mostly anything above 25 years old, nice smile, facial hair and proportionate body (not too slim, not too fat) will do the trick but guys above 40-42 are hardly relationship material for me though they're still good for sex or fuck buddies if they fit my tastes.
And about the age gap, mostly anything above 25 years old, nice smile, facial hair and proportionate body (not too slim, not too fat) will do the trick but guys above 40-42 are hardly relationship material for me though they're still good for sex or fuck buddies if they fit my tastes.
HappyPuppy
Member
idwl said:Question.
Most of the gay/bi guys I have met tend to have had 'daddy issues' when they were younger, So have I . Which made me wonder if there is a relationship between being gay and looking for a male figure in your life. I don't know
Have any of you guys had 'daddy issues'?
There are no absolutes in Psychology so the answer would be no.
How many people that you have met gay, bi, straight, cat, dog have parent issues? Finding someone who hasn't is hard may I dare say impossible.
Now this Psychology pop term 'daddy issues' has no real theoretical background and it's pretty vague.
There can be a lot of factors that may facilitate or predispositions that may lead an individual to a certain sexual preference but it still depends on case by case bases. So it isn't as rigid or exact as you might think.
In conclusion nay and Beje we should make out since you have a beard and glasses.
22 vs 18 is old when one went through college and the other one just finished high school.
If it was 24 vs 28 that would be different IMO.
That's why I'm not attracted to younger guys in general nor am I to older guys (I'm 26). Not because I think they're stupid or anything, but just because we are in general in different places in our lives and I'm either not willing to put up with it or in the end it'll cause unnecessary drama.
The guys I've dated for long periods of time have been around my age and in a similar "state of life".
Doesn't mean that they have to work in the same field or anything, but when I was a student, I couldn't really see myself with someone who was established and started thinking long term when I couldn't. Same thing was true the other way (plus I'd resent them for still being students when I was chained to a desk).
But you know, that's just me.
As for daddy issues and gayness, to me that's just a bogus claim ex-gay "therapy" exploit to explain something that has no simple explanation. It also gives a good excuse to these horrible people to be able to fondle grown men without raising too much questions.
Some have parents' issues, some don't.
I personally didn't. My dad worked a lot, yes, but when he wasn't he spent a lot of time with my brothers and I and I have a very good relationship with him. I have a good relationship with my mom too and despite all the drama that my dad coming out caused, we remained a very close knitted family.
To finish on a lighter note, I had a late night date with a guy yesterday and the guy was beyond handsome. He's an (aspiring) actor on Broadway (I know), very smart, very funny and we had a good conversation going, which to me is important. Hopefully I'll get to see more of him soon. We ended the date with a good night kiss, thing that I usually never do on the first date, but boy he was too pretty for me not to do anything.
If it was 24 vs 28 that would be different IMO.
That's why I'm not attracted to younger guys in general nor am I to older guys (I'm 26). Not because I think they're stupid or anything, but just because we are in general in different places in our lives and I'm either not willing to put up with it or in the end it'll cause unnecessary drama.
The guys I've dated for long periods of time have been around my age and in a similar "state of life".
Doesn't mean that they have to work in the same field or anything, but when I was a student, I couldn't really see myself with someone who was established and started thinking long term when I couldn't. Same thing was true the other way (plus I'd resent them for still being students when I was chained to a desk
).But you know, that's just me.
As for daddy issues and gayness, to me that's just a bogus claim ex-gay "therapy" exploit to explain something that has no simple explanation. It also gives a good excuse to these horrible people to be able to fondle grown men without raising too much questions.
Some have parents' issues, some don't.
I personally didn't. My dad worked a lot, yes, but when he wasn't he spent a lot of time with my brothers and I and I have a very good relationship with him. I have a good relationship with my mom too and despite all the drama that my dad coming out caused, we remained a very close knitted family.
To finish on a lighter note, I had a late night date with a guy yesterday and the guy was beyond handsome. He's an (aspiring) actor on Broadway (I know), very smart, very funny and we had a good conversation going, which to me is important. Hopefully I'll get to see more of him soon. We ended the date with a good night kiss, thing that I usually never do on the first date, but boy he was too pretty for me not to do anything.
I'm pretty sure I'm a textbook daddy issues case. I mean, practically zero male influences in my life (no dad around, then he died overseas when I was 12), no strong uncle presence, no siblings or male cousins around. My family's full of women.
Strangely, I turned out to be the more masculine sort of gay guy (attractive to some, a Put-off to others), but I feel quite certain the lack of men in my life had something to do with how I turned out.
Strangely, I turned out to be the more masculine sort of gay guy (attractive to some, a Put-off to others), but I feel quite certain the lack of men in my life had something to do with how I turned out.
SpaceBridge
Member
Im not sure about "daddy issues", but Ive had two fathers in my life. One was my biological father who I dont remember to much about. I have vague impressions of him; crying alone in my parents bedroom, taking me to a bar where he would get drunk, I cant even remember his face. My parents broke up when I as young. I then had a step father who was around until I was 12. He was an asshole, who was both physically and verbally abusive. He was also emotionally unstable and aloof at the same time. I have more vivid memories of him; sharp nose and glasses, pushing my mom up against a mirror and having it break, punishing me for not memorizing the multiplications table by keeping me out on our apartment balcony naked in the dead of winter for 4 hours, my mother confronting him about his affair on Christmas Eve. I was relieved when my mom kicked him out.
I'd say I have more unresolved issue with my mom than anything, but thats another story. I dont know how much that if any played with my being gay. But I can say for a certainty that I was playing doctor with the next door neighbors son way before puberty. So *shrugs* I dont know. I mean, having daddy issues implies hat being gay is more environmental than biological, and Im in the camp that believed in the "gay gene".
I'd say I have more unresolved issue with my mom than anything, but thats another story. I dont know how much that if any played with my being gay. But I can say for a certainty that I was playing doctor with the next door neighbors son way before puberty. So *shrugs* I dont know. I mean, having daddy issues implies hat being gay is more environmental than biological, and Im in the camp that believed in the "gay gene".
ZephyrFate
Banned
Exactly. We have little to actually talk about because he just came out of high school - and is still very much in that mindset - and I've just been through college, and changed dramatically as a person both intellectually and emotionally.Alcoori said:22 vs 18 is old when one went through college and the other one just finished high school.
If it was 24 vs 28 that would be different IMO.
That's why I'm not attracted to younger guys in general nor am I to older guys (I'm 26). Not because I think they're stupid or anything, but just because we are in general in different places in our lives and I'm either not willing to put up with it or in the end it'll cause unnecessary drama.
The guys I've dated for long periods of time have been around my age and in a similar "state of life".
Doesn't mean that they have to work in the same field or anything, but when I was a student, I couldn't really see myself with someone who was established and started thinking long term when I couldn't. Same thing was true the other way (plus I'd resent them for still being students when I was chained to a desk
But you know, that's just me.
As for daddy issues and gayness, to me that's just a bogus claim ex-gay "therapy" exploit to explain something that has no simple explanation. It also gives a good excuse to these horrible people to be able to fondle grown men without raising too much questions.
Some have parents' issues, some don't.
I personally didn't. My dad worked a lot, yes, but when he wasn't he spent a lot of time with my brothers and I and I have a very good relationship with him. I have a good relationship with my mom too and despite all the drama that my dad coming out caused, we remained a very close knitted family.
To finish on a lighter note, I had a late night date with a guy yesterday and the guy was beyond handsome. He's an (aspiring) actor on Broadway (I know), very smart, very funny and we had a good conversation going, which to me is important. Hopefully I'll get to see more of him soon. We ended the date with a good night kiss, thing that I usually never do on the first date, but boy he was too pretty for me not to do anything.
That's why, unfortunately, most of our conversation last night was asking sexual questions about one another. And that's probably how it'll play out.
I mean, for fuck's sake, the only videogame he plays is CALL OF DUTY BLACK OPS
GUGHERHWQ#AY *UGH*
SpaceBridge
Member
ZephyrFate said:
This made me laugh. Wonder what sex with a dudebro would be like?
ZephyrFate
Banned
I'm sure it's not bad, but this boy is also a virgin. So... yeah, I think I'm gonna relegate this boy to "hookup" status for now, unless he surprises me.SpaceBridge said:
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