So I need some advice. I'm in a weird situation, and I don't have sufficient dating experience to deal with it. I was in a relationship for 9 1/2 years which ended 2 years ago, so I've not had a lot of dating experience outside that.
I've been dating a guy for a few months. He was into me like right away and one of those kinda clingy pushy types, which was nice at first because my ex pretty much ignored me. My problem is that as I've gotten to hang out with him more, he's gotten clingier and clingier, and pushy to the max, constantly referencing "when we move in together" and asking me when I think I'd want to. He also says "I love you" which after 4 months is waaaaaaaaaaay too much for me. I haven't said it back, but he keeps saying it.
The other day, I was online on a chat site that we both have profiles on, chatting with friends, and fell asleep because I was tired after work. He called me multiple times because he saw me logged in there, and when I woke up and answered he accused me of not wanting to talk to him, because I was logged into the site but not answering my phone. Which made me mad, getting criticized for taking a nap while logged into a site that he was logged into as well! When I explained, he didn't seem to believe me that I was napping, and accused me of being too defensive.
We also haven't had sex yet, at first because I wanted to take it slow because of only having sex once since my LTR broke up, but lately I've realized I'm not very attracted to him.
Also, I'm not feeling the connection personality-wise. Literally almost every movie I hate, he loves. The third matrix movie. The Twilight series. BATMAN AND FUCKING ROBIN. He is into the same kinda stuff as that surfer dude a few posts up, zodiac, moon cycles, etc. The only thing we have in common is playing video games, really. I like to analyse things and speak really passionately when I like or dislike something, and he is not a critical thinker at all. And so on. We're just not all that compatible.
All that said, he IS a nice guy. He doesn't yell at me or treat me poorly. He's constantly buying me presents, and admitted that he always trys to buy guys' affection when he dates them. I tried to tell him to spend the money on himself, but he didn't listen. Just 2 days ago on msn, he said he noticed I wasn't very affectionate lately with kisses or hugs. I took that opportunity to tell him I wasn't feeling as affectionate towards him, and I wasn't ready for a sexual relationship right now and didn't know when I would be. His response? "Gee, I'm glad we can talk about these things, just don't make me wait forever for sex LOL" I feel like a jerk because I can't tell him I don't feel a connection because I know it would devastate him, and the thought of hurting someone's feelings like that is more than I can handle emotionally. Is this a "rip off the band-aid" situation where I just tell him we aren't right for each other? Is there really any non-devastating way to handle this?