MrGame&Watch
Member
I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook. 
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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
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grap3fruitman
Banned
I don't go to Starbucks often but the few times I went it was the middle of the day on a weekend. There just aren't people my age around here, why is that so hard to believe?
...ouch. Sorry to hear bro.I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
shit that's rough..
Let me reverse that for you: why is it hard for you to disbelieve?
Confirmation bias is one of the strongest forces in the human mind. The earlier you let go of your preconceptions and start building new experiences, the better.
This is the most constructive advice I can give.
Edit: before I forget: have you chatted up the coffee girls before?
And it turns out that looking at google maps I may have forgotten/misheard the address. Alas.
lawlohwhat
Banned
Yea! Great job getting back into it. Glad you're doing better.
Ah, that's good to know. That's not how it was explained to me.
Thanks.
I realized that drinking was not my issue. Hating myself was and I'm really working towards total self respect. It's pretty awesome realizing how awesome your life is, even without her. Don't get me wrong, I still think about her, but I can't really change a situation I can't control. I'm going to do what I gotta do and just hope for the best.
When you're good to yourself, ladies will come to you.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Because I've lived here for over six years and can confirm this.
So, ignore exactly what I've said and give "advice" regardless?
The what?
lawlohwhat
Banned
Absolutely. Drinking is almost always a cover for something else. Even when someone has a serious chemical aversion to alcohol it's not the booze that is holding them back, it's something spiritual that is missing from their life.
When someone that important to your life disappoints you, all that you can do is incorporate everything you've learned into your next endeavor. Thinking about someone who was that important to you is completely normal. I think the most engaging relationships are the ones that expose our flaws, and they tend to have the most substantial lasting imprints.
I'm not ignoring what you're saying. In fact, I know exactly what you're saying. I'm trying to get you to see past your own experiences. You asked for places to meet women, i gave you an entire list, and you approached it with the same attitude as before.
Finding and meeting people is a multivariate equation; you can't presume ahead of time based on a few experiences that you can't meet people at these locations, nor can you presume that you can. You just have to see for yourself.
Coffee girls = the baristas, the girls who work at the Starbucks?
Mully: the related Supreme Court decision dealt with consent in a sexually related asphyxiation case and has implications for alcohol too.
Wat?
Shit sorry, wrong person.
I blame my mobile browser.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
I feel for ya Jebus.I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
luckyboyceo
Member
Mully great to hear you're making progress on yourself.
Too many times do we start looking to take care of someone else, when in reality we're not even capable of taking care of ourselves yet. Everyone needs to remember how awesome they are from time to time.
Too many times do we start looking to take care of someone else, when in reality we're not even capable of taking care of ourselves yet. Everyone needs to remember how awesome they are from time to time.
Dabookerman
Member
"are you alone?" does not make for a good chat up line..
Although I did get names, but not numbers...
I blame Bill Bailey.
Oh well!
Although I did get names, but not numbers...
I blame Bill Bailey.
Oh well!
Ah okay, gotcha. I look forward to it..
Shit, sorry about that man.I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
ConradCervantes
Banned
So I have another hangout date with the girl. We're going to grab lunch then head to my place to watch a movie. Ugly-bumping is 98% certain to happen. I think I'm going to turn my conscience off on this, just enjoy the moment. Whatever happens, happens I guess.
I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
lol wow
I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
Damnnnn. I feel for you bro.
CAW
Member
Girl starts seeing her best friend for about 8 months ago, no sexual intimacy but she's in love. They were best friends for years and she's kind of always wanted to go further with him. He doesn't feel the same way and tells her it's over. She's too emotion he tells her and he pretty much drops it at that.
I started talking and texting with her a week after this happened. I don't know her that well, about a year ago she dated my brother for about a month so I met her then, liked her from the start, added her to my FB back then and that was that.
I added her back in March of this year but didn't really chat too much. I was suppose to be a fill in for a stang and doe but bailed last minute. Forward to a week and a half ago, I notice on her FB she posted her Blackberry pin looking for people to chat with. I had literally just got a BB cell phone with unlimited text plan so I add her and started talking with her. She's really happy that I did and we've talked all day and everyday for nearly two weeks! It's been great!
We planned to go out on Sunday. I planned this last Sunday as to give it a week in case anything came up and to book time off work, etc. Friday night while just chilling and chatting on the phone, something felt odd. She wasn't responding much and she basically said she wasn't feeling good and was going to crash early.
The next morning I wake up and I have a msg from her. She said that her 'ex' had texted her last night and she fell apart. She's still in love with him and it was too soon for her to get mixed up into something else. She wouldn't be able to go out on Sunday and she feels really bad, etc but it's just too soon and it wouldn't be fair to me to go out with her while she's in love with another man.
I replied back for her not to be hard on herself. I wasn't trying to rush into anything. We got along great and we both wanted to take it to the next phase but I totally understood and said I'd be her friend and would still like to keep chatting with her.
Saturday evening rolls around and I knew she was going to a club that night. She had told her friends that she would be the designated driver. I was still going to go on Sunday because I had plans with friends. My friends got a hold of me and asked me if I wanted to go out tonight instead. I said sure, and of course they picked the same bar she was going to. I texted her to get her opinion to see if she'd mind, and she didn't.
Got to the club and we were texting back and forth. Ended up meeting up with her, hugged her a few times and just generally was able to see her which was nice. Her friends wanted to go to another club so she left pretty early, but we still texted. She said it was good to see me, etc.
So we've been chatting still, same amount as we have been. I've actually been supportive of her and last night she was suppose to meet the ex for dinner. She seemed happy so I supported her on that. We texted back and forth a bit after that, I was at work though so it wasn't too much. Then she texts me that she's not going to dinner. Two hours after her ex invited her out to dinner and it looks like the he bailed on her going out. She didn't seem to pleased but I told her "well at least you have me to text to tonight, better than nothing I guess". She said it's definitely better than nothing and we talked all night!
Not only did we talk all night but things got pretty personal which I won't go into detail here...we definitely hit a new level that I didn't see coming and she told me she's very attracted too me, etc. I kind of went all out and didn't hold back which probably didn't help, but what can I saw it was pretty sexy. Pics even came my way and they were hot as hell!
Anyway, wtf am I doing?? I definitely have some feelings for this woman and I want to pursue it but at the same time I know she's still in love with her ex, who she didn't really date and isn't dating right now. She's always been honest about it too.
Should I just keep going, play it like joe cool and wait for her to lose interest in this guy. Should I work at flipping her around. Make her want me? Should I not talk with her for awhile see if that helps? I always wait for her to text me and she seems to do it right when she gets up.
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
I started talking and texting with her a week after this happened. I don't know her that well, about a year ago she dated my brother for about a month so I met her then, liked her from the start, added her to my FB back then and that was that.
I added her back in March of this year but didn't really chat too much. I was suppose to be a fill in for a stang and doe but bailed last minute. Forward to a week and a half ago, I notice on her FB she posted her Blackberry pin looking for people to chat with. I had literally just got a BB cell phone with unlimited text plan so I add her and started talking with her. She's really happy that I did and we've talked all day and everyday for nearly two weeks! It's been great!
We planned to go out on Sunday. I planned this last Sunday as to give it a week in case anything came up and to book time off work, etc. Friday night while just chilling and chatting on the phone, something felt odd. She wasn't responding much and she basically said she wasn't feeling good and was going to crash early.
The next morning I wake up and I have a msg from her. She said that her 'ex' had texted her last night and she fell apart. She's still in love with him and it was too soon for her to get mixed up into something else. She wouldn't be able to go out on Sunday and she feels really bad, etc but it's just too soon and it wouldn't be fair to me to go out with her while she's in love with another man.
I replied back for her not to be hard on herself. I wasn't trying to rush into anything. We got along great and we both wanted to take it to the next phase but I totally understood and said I'd be her friend and would still like to keep chatting with her.
Saturday evening rolls around and I knew she was going to a club that night. She had told her friends that she would be the designated driver. I was still going to go on Sunday because I had plans with friends. My friends got a hold of me and asked me if I wanted to go out tonight instead. I said sure, and of course they picked the same bar she was going to. I texted her to get her opinion to see if she'd mind, and she didn't.
Got to the club and we were texting back and forth. Ended up meeting up with her, hugged her a few times and just generally was able to see her which was nice. Her friends wanted to go to another club so she left pretty early, but we still texted. She said it was good to see me, etc.
So we've been chatting still, same amount as we have been. I've actually been supportive of her and last night she was suppose to meet the ex for dinner. She seemed happy so I supported her on that. We texted back and forth a bit after that, I was at work though so it wasn't too much. Then she texts me that she's not going to dinner. Two hours after her ex invited her out to dinner and it looks like the he bailed on her going out. She didn't seem to pleased but I told her "well at least you have me to text to tonight, better than nothing I guess". She said it's definitely better than nothing and we talked all night!
Not only did we talk all night but things got pretty personal which I won't go into detail here...we definitely hit a new level that I didn't see coming and she told me she's very attracted too me, etc. I kind of went all out and didn't hold back which probably didn't help, but what can I saw it was pretty sexy. Pics even came my way and they were hot as hell!
Anyway, wtf am I doing?? I definitely have some feelings for this woman and I want to pursue it but at the same time I know she's still in love with her ex, who she didn't really date and isn't dating right now. She's always been honest about it too.
Should I just keep going, play it like joe cool and wait for her to lose interest in this guy. Should I work at flipping her around. Make her want me? Should I not talk with her for awhile see if that helps? I always wait for her to text me and she seems to do it right when she gets up.
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
grap3fruitman
Banned
I have, haha.
Again, who? There weren't any girls working there when I went and, even if there were, what would I exactly talk about with a girl working at a Starbucks in a town with nothing in it?
soundahfekz
Member
For one, she dated your brother man. I'm not sure you're thinking this through clearly. Secondly, if the idea of dating your brother's ex isn't enough to repel you, you've essentially near finalized the friendzone process without her having to do any work. You asked her for permission to attend the same club as she was, when it was a coincidence that you ended up in the same building.
Just because she fell in love with her "best friend" 8 months ago doesn't mean the same thing will apply for you. Don't follow that man's blueprint, and for your own sake, dial back by a great amount. To the untrained eye, the road that leads to friend zones looks almost identical to the road that leads to relationships and sex until you come across the black ice, and the almost inescapable ditch that abruptly let's you know you chose the wrong side of the fork.
I'm going to put this as nicely as I can, but it looks like you work in a morgue. No smile, no luster. Where's your energy?
Grapefruitman, it's obvious from your long history of posting in this thread, that you either live in an old folk's colony or that all the young un's are running away from you.
CAW
Member
Yeah, you know, I don't know why this doesn't bother me. I really don't.
That was a bit rash of me to do that, and I was going to go regardless. I just didn't want it to seem like I was stalking her cause that would have been weird. It's a smaller bar so there is no way I could have went without seeing her.
You're right. I think I'm pretty much at that stage now. Her ex is ignoring her and not paying attention to her and I'm filling in that gap. That might not even be a friendship I might just be being used...damn.
Here I thought I might have had the upper hand but I was too eager in the beginning and well it was a no win situation from the beginning.
Maybe I can get some sex out of it though.
Thanks for the reply! Kinda broke me free of this illusion I was in.
turn that frown upside down. she meant brother with benefits.I think I found the new friend zone. Girl requests you as a brother on Facebook.
MrGame&Watch
Member
She was a girl I was really into when I was abroad an we've become close since then. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years, but she was kind of the motivating force to better myself. I wanted to one day see her and be able to impress her and win her over. Everything I did, I had her in the back of my mind somewhere. I'm a bit worried I'll lose all that now, but I think I'll be alright.
One thing I've learned from my past transgressions, never ever let a woman be your motivation to better yourself. Unless that woman is your mother or a close friend that you have no romantic interest in. It will only come back to bite you in your ass. The only person you should be bettering yourself for is you.
MrGame&Watch
Member
I understand and i think if i was completely fixated but I think over time ive moved beyond it being for her and for it being for me. I've become more confident and I think I like who I've become a lot more than I felt two years ago.
"what ya doing after work"
blah blah blah
"oh cool......im doing such and such...."
that sounds fun
"you can join if you want"
just one example
theignoramus
Member
is posting a bunch of solo shots on these dating sites a no-no? Just read a profile where the girl says dont bother messaging her if you have one pic or multiple pics of you alone, lol. That got me thinking that yeah, it would make sense that a dating website profile would be interpreted in the same manner as a facebook profile.
Weekend shifts have different people working.
And, if I have to tell you how to talk to a coffee girl, then...
Or just flirt. Coffee girls are extra nice (because they want tips) so it's a great way to practice.
*snort* I'm sorry
hey man, don't half ass it if you're going to reply.
and this comment made you sound like a smart ass btw.
johnny_park
Member
Any advice for dating a single mother? Her baby just turned one.
I apologize if that sounded smart-assed, but that was an honest technical answer to an honest question. The point that needs to be understood is that opportunities are everywhere to meet women, as long as they're within socially accepted norms. You don't need to go to specific bars or specific places to get dates!
I mean, come on, look at me. I'm not a player and I'm not a pick-up artist. But even I get that my ability to meet women is only limited by the number of social interactions that I have. The number of fish in your sea is limited by how wide your body of water is.
Remember that you're not a replacement for the baby's father.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Pictures of someone and their hotter friend are silly. So are pictures of groups with the others' faces blurred out.
So what if your pics are of you only? Someone had to take them. As long as you're photographed in interesting places and scenarios, that's really all that's required.
I definitely agree. It really depends on who you're talking to. On the girl's side, many of them have solo photos and many of them have group photos. Do I really care if she's with a group or not? Not really.
That being said, the girl's probably looking for social proof, or doesn't want to see shirtless ab pics.
johnny_park
Member
I should mention that as soon as she got pregnant he left her.
This man is correct. If your game is good enough you can pick up chicks almost anywhere. You just have to be a likable guy.
samus i am
Member
I've never heard of this before. Personally I think it's a bad idea to post pics with your friends. You are trying to generate interest in yourself, not your buddies.
i know what you mean. but your answer was kinda broad. that's like me asking you "how do you get a nice body?" and you reply with "just eat healthy and workout." and then i asked "can you be more specific?" and you reply "bench, squats, brown rice, chicken breast etc. etc." you get what i meant? in a way, your answer helps, but it's too general.
i had tried a lot of places too. like malls, colleges, bars, homecoming party(almost got laid tho, but i fuk it up), party, college events, bookstores, grocery stores, workplace, coffee shops and more i don't remember.
the point is, it's really hard to find an attractive girl who is single, not with a group of people, willing to talk to a stranger and......you know, more of them. majority of the times, when i go to bookstores or grocery stores, i rarely see cute girls(and i go around evening or night times. and i don't live in a small town either) that's why i go to mall majority of the times. but similar things occurred, the cute one are the one that works there and if they don't, they usually in the women sections or look like they're in a rush. college........well, i work 7 days a week and i don't go to school anymore. that's one thing i missed. you can take out bars/clubs because i usually go out by myself and like to hang out during the day better. but if i do have a chance, i'll might go out at night a few times. but last time i did, same old same old......a bunch of sausage fest going after the one average looking chick.
and it's not like i just started or stayed home and complained on forums all day. i've been doing this and tried for a few years already. maybe i'm not as lucky as you guys?
sorry for the long reply. but i guess what i wanted to asked in the first place was, what area or places that you guys find most effective to meet single chicks(in your past experienced, not hypothetical.)? that way, we can narrow it down and don't waste as much time driving places to places looking for that one cute chick in a crows of old, fat, unattractive, couple people.
easy for you to say. just like saying, if you have a lot of determination/willpower, you can get big like arnold anyway.
and being a likable guy isn't enough. everyone i know and at work like me, doesn't mean they would date me.
Another serious question then: What is attractive to you? Are there any non-physical traits that you are looking for?
Another serious thing to note, which has been confirmed by my female friends: most attractive women typically put up what is called the "b**** face" (sorry, I'm at work) to deter unwanted and potentially harassing attention from men. They will also lie about having boyfriends. You have to be honest, engaging, and genuine in order for them to drop their guard.
Actually, my lack of 'game' is precisely why I get a lot of dates. There have only been a handful of cases in recent history where I've been turned down in person. Online is another story.
Yes, being a likeable guy is enough.
I don't simply mean "be nice". I mean you have to stand out to people. Don't be boring. Be a guy that everyone WANTS to be around. The reason i'm being ambiguous is that there are many ways to do this. You have to learn some of this stuff on your own in the end.
We can help obviously but everyone has to play a part to help themselves. It's all a constant learning experience and it definitely takes practice.
If someone here disagrees with me then maybe they can correct me if I said anything absolutely incorrect.
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