"For my people, it is the holiest, most sacrosanct thing imaginable. Like a church. Yet, for it to be a happy marriage, it must also be like a brothel. The woman, she must be many, many arts. The skill in making house, cooking, changing the diapers on the babies, and....she must also be a whore. A vixen in the bedroom. Imaginative, exotic, constantly fresh. It is impossible...you change diapers and then you are a French maid? Fernando thinks not. Fernando knows not."
"Well, I mean, you know, it's an age-old problem, I mean, how do you keep the excitement in a marriage?"
"Excitement, exactly! Passion, danger...how, Lazlow, how? Tell me how and I give you...a big, big kiss! Like I give a woman. But I am not going to give you a big kiss, not a kiss like I a give a woman, or even a donkey. Because, because...you do not know!"
"Well, I mean in this case, ignorance...err...kinda seems like bliss...I err...I wasn't really up for kissing on air...or I mean..."
"Why not Lazlow? Am I not attractive? Am I not irresistible even to you? Well no matter. Why all this talk about kissing?"
"I mea...you brought it up!"
"No my friend...you say, you not want to kiss me. I was talking how to say, hypothetically, you make me all personal. It is a big difference. If I say, 'imagine if your wife was ugly', you can nod your head. But if I say, 'hey Lazlow, your wife, she look like yesterday's dinner after I eat.' You not so happy. It is a big difference, my friend."
"Anyway..."