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Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

P

Polioliolio

Member
ethanny2 said:
Update: Sorry for the necro bump and late conclusion but here it is...

After my girlfriend got angry at me for eating cake at my housemates birthday party (background:my housemate is a girl who I have no interest in but have been friends with for 1 semester. When I would go out on the weekends I wouldn't know any parties so I would always go with her, but nothing ever happened and I really never even considered doing anything with her) and got angry at me because she thought I was looking at other women on Instragram we broke up and I kept my distance for a while.

Meanwhile at my house, my housemate who I have told numerous times to stop communicating with me because my girlfriend doesn't want me talking to her continues to invite me to go places and come downstairs to the first floor (where I live) and try to talk to me. I need somewhere to place the blame on losing my girlfriend (irrational I know) so I get increasingly angry at this girl and every time she tries to talk to me I am dismissive and I eventually block her on FB messanger because I don't want her in my life. I, however only blocked her on messenger, and did not know that you could had to block someone on the actual Facebook app as well. I try to do that too, but I am prompted for a login and I was angry at the time so I decide to do it later.

Flash -forward 1-2 weeks and I go back to my girlfriends house to get some stuff I left over there. I ask her if we can be friends and then try to date later once she trusts me, she agrees and we proceed to go to an arcade later that week. We had a good time and agree that we should get back to together, but I told her (2 weeks ago) that I had blocked my housemate from Facebook. She says she will only get back together with me with I show her I blocked my housemate. I show her my phone, but forgot I only blocked her on messenger and not the FB app, she proceeds to flip out. I tell her it was a mistake and I swear I thought I had her blocked , she temporarily believes me.

The next day she says she called her sister and her sister thinks that Im a liar and I didn't block her on purpose so she is convinced about that. She also uses the fact that Im a computer science major (wtf) to say that I should know how to use FB 100% so she thinks Im lying. I convince her otherwise again (somehow) and we agree to keep the relationship going and find a couples counselor to talk about this stuff.

We spend like 2 weeks together and have a great time playing video games, going out, etc... Everything seemed great. I help her move into her new place and later she tells me that she is still worried that I lied about sleeping with my housemate. She tells me about a dude at her workplace who is married to a co-worker but cheats on her with another co-worker. She imposes this situation on me, and declares that Im dating my housemate and cheating on my housemate with her, or that my housemate is cool with me sleeping with both of them. (Wtf) I tell her that shes crazy, and thats not the case. Keep in mind it is summer break and everyone (all my housemates) has left back to their respective homes so no one I know is still in this town.

She is a huge activist (for anything feminism, BLM, fair-trade anything basically) and participates in local events and has a tight knit group of activists that she regularly talks to on a group chat. There is a guy in her activist group that she has been friends with for years and they hang out/go drinking all the time. She says how much I had in common with my housemates as a reason for why I would have slept with her, I say the same thing about this guy in her activist group and she says while he is interested in her they are just friends. She also told me 1 week before I am not allowed to have any female friends anymore, I don't have that much in the first place so I thought, "okay I'll cross that bridge when I come to it". But the fucked up part in my mind is that she still has guys friends, including this guy in the activist group and the dudes at her work. Im getting angry, but I never say anything I am saving it for therapy for which we had an appointment which was a week away.

We blow over it again and go back to hanging out and playing games, like normal. I had sex with the night before (not bragging its part of the story read on), and she goes home to get ready for work later. I text her the next day if she wants to do something, she says she'll hang out with a girlfriend. I reluctantly say okay, because if Im not hanging out with her I have nothing to do (all my friends left and I am staying her just for her, I also want to go home for the summer). She then says she did not want to have sex with me last night but did anyway. I tell her she could have just told me, shes told me before and I respect her decision. She says "it doesn't matter now anyway". I ask her what she meant and she doesn't respond to me for 3 days.

After 3 days she said she just wanted some space, (understandable we spent the whole previous week together) I say okay you could have just told me. She says she still not over me and what she thinks I did with my housemate. She then says she doesn't want to date me because I am too young (she is 27 and I am 22 even though we are both college seniors) and claims I am immature. I argue my case, and she doesn't text back for another 5 days.

So here I am 5 days after, I think its over, but I want closure (Are we broken up? Why are we braking up? etc). She will not answer any of my calls or read my messages, so I am considering going to her house (or where she works) but I don't want to seem crazy, what should I do?
Click to expand...


It's done dude. You may be able to wring out a sex or two here or there apparently, but emotionally you're complicating it. It's done. guys tend to get more emotionally invested than girls, and she's checked out. You're only making it more painful for you.

Time to move on and congratulate yourself on another experience under your belt. Seriously, you win! Now take the win like a good sportsman and continue the journey!
 
C

commedieu

Banned
Don't give up on her op. You don't want to die sad and lonely wondering what could have been.

Go to her house and get to the bottom of this, it can't hurt to declare your love one more time.
 
M

MisterAnderson

Member
Dude...OP...re-read your own posts. If you can't see the lunacy in what you're saying/doing to yourself, then you need some serious help outside of GAF.
 
B

Boogs31

Member
commedieu said:
Don't give up on her op. You don't want to die sad and lonely wondering what could have been.

Go to her house and get to the bottom of this, it can't hurt to declare your love one more time.
Click to expand...

I completely disagree with this advice, especially considering your reasoning is out of fear of being alone. Good relationships are positive for many reasons, not just so you have a plus one. If the only reason you want to be with someone is to avoid loneliness, then the relationship is not something worth fighting for.

This woman has serious trust and jealousy issues that clearly bother the OP. That stuff doesn't just go away. She seems to be hypocritical with a lot of that stuff as well.
 
B

BobNewbert31

Member
Boogs31 said:
I completely disagree with this advice, especially considering your reasoning is out of fear of being alone. Good relationships are positive for many reasons, not just so you have a plus one. If the only reason you want to be with someone is to avoid loneliness, then the relationship is not something worth fighting for.

This woman has serious trust and jealousy issues that clearly bother the OP. That stuff doesn't just go away. She seems to be hypocritical with a lot of that stuff as well.
Click to expand...

I think he was being sarcastic.
 
Q

Quixzlizx

Member
I'm kind of hoping OP shows up at her workplace with a blaring boombox and a doll with its heart carved out.

Since doing the smart thing is clearly off the table.
 
D

Dipper145

Member
How many times can we all tell OP to bail out because the relationship is bad for him before an update tells us that she decided to permanently end things with him?

I've had my share of bad relationships where I kept going because the sex and some other parts were good, so I can see why some people hang around longer than they should.
 
E

ExVicis

Member
commedieu said:
Don't give up on her op. You don't want to die sad and lonely wondering what could have been.

Go to her house and get to the bottom of this, it can't hurt to declare your love one more time.
Click to expand...

No don't do this! OP is going to see this one post and go "Yeah, one person thinks this is the right course!" and will completely use that to justify their continued being a chump.
 
H

Haloid1177

Banned
Measley said:
So why isn't Op banging the housemate at this point?
Click to expand...

These threads never end like that on GAF come on now. This dude gonna catch her fucking her activist friend while ignoring the girl downstairs to the point where when he finally realizes that's what he should be doing she's moved on.
 
K

Kikujiro

Member
Thanks for the update, that was absolutely entertaining. You and your girl are both crazy, stick with her and give us more updates.
 
Y

Yoshimitsu126

Member
Guys I don't think the OP can hear our insults. Maybe we should insult him even more.

Or maybe he already listened to Gaf and is hanging out with the flatmate now!! Yeah! Good job OP!!!
 
PRBoricua

PRBoricua

Member
ethanny2 said:
Update: Sorry for the necro bump and late conclusion but here it is...

After my girlfriend got angry at me for eating cake at my housemates birthday party (background:my housemate is a girl who I have no interest in but have been friends with for 1 semester. When I would go out on the weekends I wouldn't know any parties so I would always go with her, but nothing ever happened and I really never even considered doing anything with her) and got angry at me because she thought I was looking at other women on Instragram we broke up and I kept my distance for a while.

Meanwhile at my house, my housemate who I have told numerous times to stop communicating with me because my girlfriend doesn't want me talking to her continues to invite me to go places and come downstairs to the first floor (where I live) and try to talk to me. I need somewhere to place the blame on losing my girlfriend (irrational I know) so I get increasingly angry at this girl and every time she tries to talk to me I am dismissive and I eventually block her on FB messanger because I don't want her in my life. I, however only blocked her on messenger, and did not know that you could had to block someone on the actual Facebook app as well. I try to do that too, but I am prompted for a login and I was angry at the time so I decide to do it later.

Flash -forward 1-2 weeks and I go back to my girlfriends house to get some stuff I left over there. I ask her if we can be friends and then try to date later once she trusts me, she agrees and we proceed to go to an arcade later that week. We had a good time and agree that we should get back to together, but I told her (2 weeks ago) that I had blocked my housemate from Facebook. She says she will only get back together with me with I show her I blocked my housemate. I show her my phone, but forgot I only blocked her on messenger and not the FB app, she proceeds to flip out. I tell her it was a mistake and I swear I thought I had her blocked , she temporarily believes me.

The next day she says she called her sister and her sister thinks that Im a liar and I didn't block her on purpose so she is convinced about that. She also uses the fact that Im a computer science major (wtf) to say that I should know how to use FB 100% so she thinks Im lying. I convince her otherwise again (somehow) and we agree to keep the relationship going and find a couples counselor to talk about this stuff.

We spend like 2 weeks together and have a great time playing video games, going out, etc... Everything seemed great. I help her move into her new place and later she tells me that she is still worried that I lied about sleeping with my housemate. She tells me about a dude at her workplace who is married to a co-worker but cheats on her with another co-worker. She imposes this situation on me, and declares that Im dating my housemate and cheating on my housemate with her, or that my housemate is cool with me sleeping with both of them. (Wtf) I tell her that shes crazy, and thats not the case. Keep in mind it is summer break and everyone (all my housemates) has left back to their respective homes so no one I know is still in this town.

She is a huge activist (for anything feminism, BLM, fair-trade anything basically) and participates in local events and has a tight knit group of activists that she regularly talks to on a group chat. There is a guy in her activist group that she has been friends with for years and they hang out/go drinking all the time. She says how much I had in common with my housemates as a reason for why I would have slept with her, I say the same thing about this guy in her activist group and she says while he is interested in her they are just friends. She also told me 1 week before I am not allowed to have any female friends anymore, I don't have that much in the first place so I thought, "okay I'll cross that bridge when I come to it". But the fucked up part in my mind is that she still has guys friends, including this guy in the activist group and the dudes at her work. Im getting angry, but I never say anything I am saving it for therapy for which we had an appointment which was a week away.

We blow over it again and go back to hanging out and playing games, like normal. I had sex with the night before (not bragging its part of the story read on), and she goes home to get ready for work later. I text her the next day if she wants to do something, she says she'll hang out with a girlfriend. I reluctantly say okay, because if Im not hanging out with her I have nothing to do (all my friends left and I am staying her just for her, I also want to go home for the summer). She then says she did not want to have sex with me last night but did anyway. I tell her she could have just told me, shes told me before and I respect her decision. She says "it doesn't matter now anyway". I ask her what she meant and she doesn't respond to me for 3 days.

After 3 days she said she just wanted some space, (understandable we spent the whole previous week together) I say okay you could have just told me. She says she still not over me and what she thinks I did with my housemate. She then says she doesn't want to date me because I am too young (she is 27 and I am 22 even though we are both college seniors) and claims I am immature. I argue my case, and she doesn't text back for another 5 days.

So here I am 5 days after, I think its over, but I want closure (Are we broken up? Why are we braking up? etc). She will not answer any of my calls or read my messages, so I am considering going to her house (or where she works) but I don't want to seem crazy, what should I do?
Click to expand...

Dude, no ...

vJ4LDrQ.gif
 
N

neerg

Member
ethanny2 said:
Edit: guys who hit on her got her # from other friends or coworkers who don't hit on her she did not give it to them
Click to expand...

I haven't read the whole thread, just bits and bobs,so don't know if its been said. But i'm afraid they didn't OP. She gave it to them. Seriously, you think people would just give out someones else phone number without permission? She is lying to you, a lot it would seem.
This is over, it's been over for a while. You two will never ever work. She's not for you, Sorry.
 
Juke Joint Jezebel

Juke Joint Jezebel

Member
ethanny2 said:
Update: Sorry for the necro bump and late conclusion but here it is...

After my girlfriend got angry at me for eating cake at my housemates birthday party
Click to expand...

Getting angry over enjoying birthday food at a friend's party? That says everything that you need to know. Brace yourself and just....

GET OUT THE LIFEBOAT! BAIL! DON'T LOOK BACK! CALL IT OFF! VANISH!

BWNqtHL.gif


A lot of dude's I know have stayed with these types of women before. Over-reacting, nagging, overly sensitive women who saw every little interaction their boyfriends had with the opposite sex as a threat to their relationship and self-worth. All the guys I know who went back and forth and in and out of relationships with these women for months, sometimes years as they get paranoid over and over again all admit they wasted their time, it all falls apart eventually. Look for somebody a bit more stable and forget about her. It'll be better in the long run. You don't want drama like that for the rest of your years.
 
cr0w

cr0w

Old Member
I have to wonder if OP isn't just making this shit up and laughing at everyone who replies with advice.

Like seriously, every time one of these threads pops up, none of the OPs ever actually listen to the advice they solicited. They just dig bigger and bigger holes while everyone tells them to GTFO.
 
A

Alpha Centauri

Member
I've embarrassed myself over a girl before, OP. Even posted about it here on Neogaf. Please... just walk away. It's done. Maybe in a couple months she calls and/or wants to hook up. Even then, walk away.

When it comes to her, assume she fell off the face of the earth.
 
Beardz

Beardz

Member
cr0w said:
Like seriously, every time one of these threads pops up, none of the OPs ever actually listen to the advice they solicited. They just dig bigger and bigger holes while everyone tells them to GTFO.
Click to expand...

In reality this king of threads are made trying to find someone to agree with your point of view, not for a real advice. I mean, this is not rocket science, when you are in this kind of relationships is obvious that you know you are fucking things up.

It's like saying "guys, I think I'm addicted to cocaine" the responses are going to be "dude, stop that shit!" 99.99% of the times the OP is not going to listen the advice, they are going to do some stupid shit, hit rock bottom and then MAYBE they're going to something about it.
 
A

Azerare

Member
commedieu said:
Don't give up on her op. You don't want to die sad and lonely wondering what could have been.

Go to her house and get to the bottom of this, it can't hurt to declare your love one more time.
Click to expand...

We know you're trolling... but OP is going to be gullible and think you're genuine.
 
2

2MF

Member
ethanny2 said:
She also told me 1 week before I am not allowed to have any female friends anymore
Click to expand...

If she truly thinks this is a reasonable thing to demand, you need to end this relationship.

That sounds super manipulative and immature and you shouldn't be in a relationship with a manipulative, immature person.
 
T

truly101

I got grudge sucked!
I went through some of this shit when I was in college, it never ends well. The last girl I knew that fit that weird passive aggressive borderline crazy stage decided to play a prank on her ex by setting a couch he kept on his deck on fire. It burned down the apartment building he lived in and it killed 4 people, and best of all he wasn't even there.

So while your situation might not go to that extreme, you'll be way better off letting her leave and never coming back.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
This thread made me think. Does it matter who breads up with who, in terms of the recovery process?

I mean obviously it hurts more for someone to break up with you... but I guess what is an "ideal" break up.
 
K

Karl2177

Member
Megalosaro said:
This thread made me think. Does it matter who breads up with who, in terms of the recovery process?

I mean obviously it hurts more for someone to break up with you... but I guess what is an "ideal" break up.
Click to expand...
I prefer rye if I'm doing the dumping. Otherwise it's just regular wheat.
 
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