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[WolfeTone]

Lol thanks for the advice and jokes guys I'll take the advice and bail out, she recently texted me again and told me to leave her alone and they if I come to her place her housemates will yell at me etc...

As for the housemate, Yes I think she had a crush on me for a long time, but again for a lot of reasons I am not attracted to her nor cam ever see myself dating her, I realize blaming her was not the solution but what I told her verbatum was "I cant hang out with you anymore, I know my girlfriend is crazy and irrational but she wont leave this alone, so Im just gonna cut you out of my life. If you're my friend you just need to respect that, if not oh well" She was angry at that time but I think I should still apologize but I don't think i want to contiue being friends with her.

Also I don't know if I mentioned this before but one week when we were fighting I went to see my schools counselor and he told me she may have Boardline personality disorder (someone here guessed it right) and all her traits matched the description. The only reason I put up with her ridiculous accusations and requests was because I knew she was mentally unstable and was still working through it. She was on medications and going to weekly thearpy by herself so I thought she was on the right path to recovery and so I acquiesced her crazy ass requests. I also told this info to my roomate, and I said like can you please keep your distance shes not mentally stable and she said okay, but then still kept trying to contact me, so thats why I was angry.

Overall we broke up 5 times in these 3 months, the 4th time I was really down (couldn't even study for finals) but I feel okay now its kinda liberating. I kind of do want to tell my gf off one last time through text but like I said she has mental issues so its not completely her fault.

Thanks for this update OP. You sound like a good dude. Misguided, but good in your intentions. Just know that it's not your responsibility to care for this girl if she's unwell. Her having Borderline Personality Disorder doesn't excuse her behaviour towards you. It may explain it, but it doesn't excuse it. You being good to your girlfriend doesn't excuse the way you treated your roommate. You should definitely apologize to the roommate, she deserves that and you will feel better if you do it.

Do not reach out to your exgirlfriend again. Nothing good will come from telling her off.

Best of luck OP.

 

[BobNewbert31]

Lol thanks for the advice and jokes guys I'll take the advice and bail out, she recently texted me again and told me to leave her alone and they if I come to her place her housemates will yell at me etc...

As for the housemate, Yes I think she had a crush on me for a long time, but again for a lot of reasons I am not attracted to her nor cam ever see myself dating her, I realize blaming her was not the solution but what I told her verbatum was "I cant hang out with you anymore, I know my girlfriend is crazy and irrational but she wont leave this alone, so Im just gonna cut you out of my life. If you're my friend you just need to respect that, if not oh well" She was angry at that time but I think I should still apologize but I don't think i want to contiue being friends with her.

Also I don't know if I mentioned this before but one week when we were fighting I went to see my schools counselor and he told me she may have Boardline personality disorder (someone here guessed it right) and all her traits matched the description. The only reason I put up with her ridiculous accusations and requests was because I knew she was mentally unstable and was still working through it. She was on medications and going to weekly thearpy by herself so I thought she was on the right path to recovery and so I acquiesced her crazy ass requests. I also told this info to my roomate, and I said like can you please keep your distance shes not mentally stable and she said okay, but then still kept trying to contact me, so thats why I was angry.

Overall we broke up 5 times in these 3 months, the 4th time I was really down (couldn't even study for finals) but I feel okay now its kinda liberating. I kind of do want to tell my gf off one last time through text but like I said she has mental issues so its not completely her fault.

Yes, you should apologize. Immediately and vehemently.

 

[Kinitari]

Delete her out of your contacts right now and go apologize to your roommate.

Your brain wants to complicate it more than this, but don't.

If you really want to get shit off your chest, write letters to her, and then burn them. I know that's corny as hell, but there's a reason therapists recommend something like this often. You can even try and 'guess' what she'd say back to you and reply to that, if you want. It'll give you more closure than actually talking to her.

 

[One Eyed Willy]

My advice is just to stop wasting any energy on this entire situation. Be the sane adult in the equation and if she ended it, just walk away. Don't feel obligated to apologize to anyone and just move on with life.

 

[FaintDeftone]

You should definitely patch things up with the female housemate. No sense in losing a friend over this insecure ass girl. I know you said you're not attracted to her but hell, hang out with her and give her a shot. She may grow on you and she seems like a normal person.

 

[Menthuss]

My advice is just to stop wasting any energy on this entire situation. Be the sane adult in the equation and if she ended it, just walk away. Don't feel obligated to apologize to anyone and just move on with life.

No, he should definitely apologise to his housemate for the way he treated her. If he's really lucky, he might be able to salvage the friendship. I wouldn't bet on it though.

 

[Kumquat]

About time op. This song is for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=851BqHMCaeM

 

[Kuroi Gogeta]

Lol thanks for the advice and jokes guys I'll take the advice and bail out, she recently texted me again and told me to leave her alone and they if I come to her place her housemates will yell at me etc...

As for the housemate, Yes I think she had a crush on me for a long time, but again for a lot of reasons I am not attracted to her nor cam ever see myself dating her, I realize blaming her was not the solution but what I told her verbatum was "I cant hang out with you anymore, I know my girlfriend is crazy and irrational but she wont leave this alone, so Im just gonna cut you out of my life. If you're my friend you just need to respect that, if not oh well" She was angry at that time but I think I should still apologize but I don't think i want to contiue being friends with her.

Also I don't know if I mentioned this before but one week when we were fighting I went to see my schools counselor and he told me she may have Boardline personality disorder (someone here guessed it right) and all her traits matched the description. The only reason I put up with her ridiculous accusations and requests was because I knew she was mentally unstable and was still working through it. She was on medications and going to weekly thearpy by herself so I thought she was on the right path to recovery and so I acquiesced her crazy ass requests. I also told this info to my roomate, and I said like can you please keep your distance shes not mentally stable and she said okay, but then still kept trying to contact me, so thats why I was angry.

Overall we broke up 5 times in these 3 months, the 4th time I was really down (couldn't even study for finals) but I feel okay now its kinda liberating. I kind of do want to tell my gf off one last time through text but like I said she has mental issues so its not completely her fault.

Apologize to your roommate. What you need right now is a support network beyond GAF, and you tried(although politely) to burn a bridge with someone who would have been part of that support network. Your ex-gf's contact info should be deleted from your phone. If you need to send her a message, then tell her all the things that she had done to hurt you, and explain that you forgive her and you are moving on, then delete her contact info. It will give you that sense of closure you need and to begin healing.

 

[Kumquat]

Apologize to your roommate. What you need right now is a support network beyond GAF, and you tried(although politely) to burn a bridge with someone who would have been part of that support network. Your ex-gf's contact info should be deleted from your phone. If you need to send her a message, then tell her all the things that she had done to hurt you, and explain that you forgive her and you are moving on, then delete her contact info. It will give you that sense of closure you need and to begin healing.

Not trying to offend but that really gives off a passive aggressive vibe. I would say just drop it, cut ties, and move on.Your way just invites more issues.

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

Acts like an asshole to someone that`s nice to them and unsure if they should apologize after depsite knowing that you acted like a dipshit. While bending over to the crazy ass girl at every turn and does whatever she asks even knowing that she is batshit crazy simply because the sex is on point.

 

[Suburban Thug]

OP needs to bail on this toxic relationship. The girlfriend seems incredibly insecure and paranoid. My first thoughts are that she is cheating with a co-worker (physically or emotionally) and trying to flip it on you to clear her conscious or throw you off the trail. If that's not the case then she is simply not ready from a maturity standpoint to be dating and honestly it sounds like you aren't either.

In my opinion you got into this relationship for the wrong reason. You say you went looking for a girlfriend and basically picked this girl out at a bus stop. Maybe you should get with someone who enhances your life instead of dating a person just so you won't be alone.

Oh, and you've been shitty to your female housemate. Apologize and make things right. Girlfriend is making you act like a jackass.

 

[Elandyll]

Lol thanks for the advice and jokes guys I'll take the advice and bail out, she recently texted me again and told me to leave her alone and they if I come to her place her housemates will yell at me etc...

As for the housemate, Yes I think she had a crush on me for a long time, but again for a lot of reasons I am not attracted to her nor cam ever see myself dating her, I realize blaming her was not the solution but what I told her verbatum was "I cant hang out with you anymore, I know my girlfriend is crazy and irrational but she wont leave this alone, so Im just gonna cut you out of my life. If you're my friend you just need to respect that, if not oh well" She was angry at that time but I think I should still apologize but I don't think i want to contiue being friends with her.

Also I don't know if I mentioned this before but one week when we were fighting I went to see my schools counselor and he told me she may have Boardline personality disorder (someone here guessed it right) and all her traits matched the description. The only reason I put up with her ridiculous accusations and requests was because I knew she was mentally unstable and was still working through it. She was on medications and going to weekly thearpy by herself so I thought she was on the right path to recovery and so I acquiesced her crazy ass requests. I also told this info to my roomate, and I said like can you please keep your distance shes not mentally stable and she said okay, but then still kept trying to contact me, so thats why I was angry.

Overall we broke up 5 times in these 3 months, the 4th time I was really down (couldn't even study for finals) but I feel okay now its kinda liberating. I kind of do want to tell my gf off one last time through text but like I said she has mental issues so its not completely her fault.

You need to get away from your ex as much as your roomate needs to get away from you, to be brutally honest.

 

[I Stalk Alone]

Op you are to weak to help your girlfriend through with her mental health issues and you were mean to the other lady. So you come off as the jerk here but I am still on your side. You can try and react better to your gf anxiety or you can bone the other girl instead. either way you win, but don't do both though or you lose.

 

[TheLetdown]

The patterning of behavior from both OP and the girlfriend here is almost exactly like something I watched a friend of mine go through. I could only try to give advice, most of which was just air leaving my lungs. And get him drunk when the times were tough.

So, if I extrapolate that situation to OPs, here how it's going to work:

- OP will go back to her every time she lets him and will in the future.
- Because OP never made his feelings clear with the housemate (no interest, no future) she will continue to contact him because, as she sees it, the thing standing between her and OP is the girlfriend, who is on/off, and she will continue contacting during the on/off times.
- Eventually, OP's girlfriend will hit a personal breakdown and either through recognition of using OP as a safety net or through a sense of martyrdom ("I can't do this to you any longer, so even though it hurts me too, I think we should...") the girlfriend will break off contact with OP cold.
- Then, and only then, will OP be free of this relationship.

My friend and that girl are both doing really well, entirely separately, so there's a silver lining to be reached.

 

[wwm0nkey]

Op you are to weak to help your girlfriend through with her mental health issues and you were mean to the other lady. So you come off as the jerk here but I am still on your side. You can try and react better to your gf anxiety or you can bone the other girl instead. either way you win, but don't do both though or you lose.

What the fuck dude?

 

[jennetics]

Thanks for the update, OP. Sounds like you're...kinda getting there. Don't let this relationship get to you, just be glad it's done with.

Apologize to your roomate, man. Even if you don't want to be friends with her, sounds like she put up with a lot of crap for no reason.

Also,

Overall we broke up 5 times in these 3 months, the 4th time I was really down (couldn't even study for finals) but I feel okay now its kinda liberating. I kind of do want to tell my gf off one last time through text but like I said she has mental issues so its not completely her fault.

I know you're probably just trying to differentiate your roomate and your ex...but don't call her your gf...it just makes it look like you're still interested lol

Also, do we need to come over to your house and break your phone/computer? What part of "DON'T FUCKING TALK TO HER" don't you understand?

 

[How About No]

Wait you broke up with her 5 times in 3 months you saw her?

Shoulda just made it one m8

 

[AtomskEater]

No, he should definitely apologise to his housemate for the way he treated her. If he's really lucky, he might be able to salvage the friendship. I wouldn't bet on it though.

Sounds like OP isn't even really interested in friendship. I'd still say apologize anyway because it's awkward AF to have this kind of situation with a housemate.

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

If you truly want to be over her, you need to block her.

She has trust issues, she has control issues, she keeps guys in orbit around her for attention, then complains about that for additional attention, so the chances of her randomly busting back into your life is pretty high.

Block her number, her emails, her social profiles, give yourself a real chance to get over her without having your progress sidetracked by whatever crazy whim she might have.

The truly sad thing is she's likely going to tell your replacement that you cheated on her for extra sympathy points and added control it gives her, but will also be secretly incensed she can't contact you or see your profile.

 

[AuthenticM]

how is this thread still going