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Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

O

OG Shaka Zulu

Member
Ninja Scooter said:
kreole.png
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I'm about to have my hood pass revoked. What is this thinking brother meme from?
 
T

TaterTots

Banned
It's pretty natural to flirt. However, you being so stressed you want to go to her work place and seek out 10+ guys to ask them to stop flirting with her is not a good look. Dump her and hit the gym.
 
S

Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
TatorTots said:
It's pretty natural to flirt. However, you being so stressed you want to go to her work place and seek out 10+ guys to ask them to stop flirting with her is not a good look. Dump her and hit the gym.
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Or hit the gym and then beat up 10+ guys.

xN7RaR6.jpg
 
K

KoopaTheCasual

Junior Member
Mesoian said:
1.) Your girlfriend has trust issues
2.) She should reporting that sort of behavior to the management. If they aren't doing anything, you need to ago above the store's head to regional. If they're still not doing anything, as unfair as it is, she should start looking for a new place to work as that environment isn't going to stop being toxic.
3.) Why do these guys have her number?
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Sakura said:
Maybe she should tell HR again then...?
Also

Why did she give them her number in the first place?
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Yo, this actually pisses me off.

She has lots of trust issues with you talking to other women in your vicinity, but is totally cool giving her number to dudes she knows are hitting on her?

Wack. I would bring this up. But that's just me.
 
J

Joey Fox

Self-Actualized Member
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Asking about that pupu platter.

OP, have you ever read these texts? I find it hard to believe that even asshole douchebros have the energy to send dick pics for months without some kind of response.
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Super beautiful women get texted constantly, this doesn't surprise me. They are also not immune from irrational jealousy. HR for her, and a breakup for him is the best solution.
 
M

MindofKB

Member
If all of the proper steps have been taken, you're just going to have to deal with dudes sweating your girl. This is gonna be tough, since you're not that far into your relationship and trust is still a big issue. Welcome to having a really attractive GF OP.

Post 6 1440p pics of her holding today's newspaper and her Instagram so we can evaluate further.

For research purposes of course.
Maybe.
 
H

hydrophilic attack

Member
I feel like the best move here is to be supportive. Help her if she asks for help. Don't make a big deal out of it if she doesn't. Help her out in her contacts with HR.

If she legitimately has a problem, she'll appreciate the help

If she is trying to make you jealous, you not appearing to be too bothered (other than being worried about her safety) would prevent her from getting what she wants, and hopefully get her to stop

If she actually is being unfaithful (I doubt it) you will find out eventually, then just end it
 
J

John Kowalski

Banned
Cool how framing any kind of women's topic under the guise of a relationship thread can completely derail how sympathetic to women this forum tries to be.
 
C

ColdPizza

Banned
Two Words said:
Isn't this backwards? You're going to be the least trusting in a SO during the earliest parts of a relationship.
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I dunno, that's now how I see it. When you first start dating but aren't committed, I don't care what she does with other people. Not until we agree to date exclusively.
 
E

ethanny2

Member
esmith08734 said:
Can't she block the numbers? Once she stops feeding into it, they'll leave her alone. Also, might have been mentioned but can you drive her to work? Does she have a car?
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Neither of us have a car

SwipeLeftHoney said:
HR won't do squat. Girl has only been there less than 2 months. They'll find some excuse to let her go and move on. I personally don't think she got HR involved to begin with. I honestly feel the girl just said that to shut OP up for a few days, weeks whatever. OP is failing to see the obvious here. Hope she's worth it OP... Things don't look good for you man..
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Thats what im saying and its not a big city and she has had jobs all over the place that quit because some body said some fucked shit to her or the people in her workplace don't like her, so i dont want her to lose this job.

Pepboy said:
In my opinion, yeah that would be wrong of you.

Three possible cases:

1. She would prefer to take care of it herself and is faithful -- getting involved is a mistake.

2. She would prefer to take care of itself because she's actually cheating or wants to cheat -- the sooner you find this out, the better, but actually going to Best Buy and confronting seems a bit much. Just move on unless you're into non-exclusive relationships (though even that would / should be a conversation).

3. She is actually looking for you to "stand up" to show you "care" -- this also demonstrates that she's not really ready for a healthy relationship. Trust issues aren't like a simple disagreement "Oh I love avocado but she Hates it". They can seriously impair a healthy relationship. If she's looking for this sort of response from you, you are enabling her by going down and talking to them. I get different cultures look at this differently, but you'll be better off in the long run by addressing the root insecurity than by being the big bad wolf.

Other notes:

A. Regarding her being unfaithful, just keep your eyes and ears open. Eventually something won't add up (she keeps taking rides on days that aren't rainy / you saw her work schedule and it's different from what she told you / she's suddenly very distant from you and ignoring texts, etc.) and then you can dig deeper if needed.

B. I'm surprised she's actually taking cabs to work at Best Buy. How close does she live? Because a cab can be like $10 easily, which is probably like an hour's work?

C. Have more value in yourself. You're a hard working guy who is faithful. If she leaves you for a cheating married / girlfriend guy, you're just freeing up your life for new encounters.

D. Remember, at the end of the day, you were happy alone. You seemed capable of talking to people of the opposite sex and are focusing on studies -- you probably can find other people.
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ughh this shit is hard man, I feel like it might be the 3rd option but how do i know for sure

flkraven said:
other signs:
-Does your GF have a lot of friends that are girls? Or does she typically hang out with dudes?
-Does she have plenty of stories about daily drama, but simultaneously say how she "hates drama"?
-Does she have a bunch of Disney Princess stuff?
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She has mostly girl friends and the male friends she has are though a political activist group she goes to. But she recently told me that a lesbian friend she had developed feelings for her toi. Like hold up this is actually kinda of ridiculous now that I see myself typing it

She does have a lot of drama...
No pirincess stuff tho lol
 
C

cwmartin

Member
ColdPizza said:
I dunno, that's now how I see it. When you first start dating but aren't committed, I don't care what she does with other people. Not until we agree to date exclusively.
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Yeah young people nowadays (OP is college age) don't really traditionally date in that sense anymore. Most have a date or two with one person then take it right to exclusive town.
 
H

hydrophilic attack

Member
John Kowalski said:
Cool how framing any kind of women's topic under the guise of a relationship thread can completely derail how sympathetic to women this forum tries to be.
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Threads like this make it very clear how many gaffers have lots of insecurities.

I mean, almost everyone does I guess, so it's not that strange, but still interesting
 
S

Slacker

Member
John Kowalski said:
Cool how framing any kind of women's topic under the guise of a relationship thread can completely derail how sympathetic to women this forum tries to be.
Click to expand...

Or we take things on a case-by-case basis and not assume a reaction to one situation is a reaction to women in general?
 
M

mrhyderager

Member
Kurdel said:
If you are having trust issues after a month in a relationship it's a red flag.

You have known this woman for 2 months and you are already this stressed out about "other guys" hitting on her.
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YUP. Way too early to be steaming through crazy town.
 
P

peanutbutterlatte

Member
I've found in my experience (wasn't allowed female friends for 5+ years then got massively cheated on a bunch of times) that people who are liable to cheat vent their external insecurities onto their partner.

After all, if they are capable of cheating, isn't anybody?

But yeah, it's really weird being in a relationship where I'm not constantly suspected of doing shit. Takes a while to get used to.
 
B

blankempathy

Member
10 dudes at her work texting her. 1 or 2 I could understand but 10? Did all these guys just form a group in order to hit on op's gf? He said that they got her number through other people from work but would that many guys go through the trouble to get one girls number? Would that many guys within the same environment think to themselves "hey its ok if i get her number from someone else and hit on her through texts. Thats not creepy at all". Sounds super sketchy.
 
E

ethanny2

Member
notaskwid said:
I'm curious to why you would include the "she's jealous of me" part when it has little to do with the topic at hand?
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Because she told me because of these guys shes getting a negative image of dudes that we all cheat and its effecting her trust for me
 
V

vordhosbn

Banned
How's it normal for your gf to tell you ten separate times about guys hitting on her within a month of dating?

She should just block them and move on, simple as that. But she obviously wants to make him jealous or doesn't respect him. Poor OP.
 
T

Tagyhag

Member
I'd say neither of you is ready for a relationship.

It's only been 2 months and she already has these trust issues? This isn't going to be a long term healthy relationship.

Break it off, and you both should just focus on school.
 
K

KoopaTheCasual

Junior Member
John Kowalski said:
Cool how framing any kind of women's topic under the guise of a relationship thread can completely derail how sympathetic to women this forum tries to be.
Click to expand...
hydrophilic attack said:
Threads like this make it very clear how many gaffers have lots of insecurities.

I mean, almost everyone does I guess, so it's not that strange, but still interesting
Click to expand...
Oh please, this situation isn't healthy, and any "so much for tolerant gaffers" argument doesn't belong here.

Yes, we only have one side of the scenario, and judging by how young OP seems, its not a stretch to imagine he's painting it more sympathetically in his favor.

However, the glut of the responses seems to tell OP to "bail." That hardly seems insecure or callous towards the woman. That's just gaffers saying, "this situation sounds shitty, I wouldn't want any part of that."
 
M

mordecaii83

Member
My guess is that she is telling you about "all these guys hitting on her" to try to make you jealous since she's jealous of the girls upstairs at your place. I also think it's really petty to do that, and I'd be wondering what her end game was.

OP, you can always invite her to meet the girls upstairs with you, that can calm things down a lot of times. Otherwise I'd just ask her what it would take to not worry about the situation, and see if it's something reasonable.

I'd also ask her exactly what was going on at work, the whole things just seems weird.

Edit:
blankempathy said:
10 dudes at her work texting her. 1 or 2 I could understand but 10? Did all these guys just form a group in order to hit on op's gf? He said that they got her number through other people from work but would that many guys go through the trouble to get one girls number? Would that many guys within the same environment think to themselves "hey its ok if i get her number from someone else and hit on her through texts. Thats not creepy at all". Sounds super sketchy.
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OH SHIT I missed this part... She has 10 guys at work who were hitting on her texting her? That's not cool, and if it were me it'd be a "fix this shit or we're done" type scenario only most likely put a little more kindly.
 
F

flkraven

Member
ethanny2 said:
She has mostly girl friends and the male friends she has are though a political activist group she goes to. But she recently told me that a lesbian friend she had developed feelings for her toi. Like hold up this is actually kinda of ridiculous now that I see myself typing it

She does have a lot of drama...
No pirincess stuff tho lol
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Getting a little nuts, huh?

So far the tally of people currently hitting on your GF

1) Every dude at work
2) The Chinese delivery guy
3) Lesbian friend (even girls can't handle her!)

In a vacuum, this isn't impossible. But without knowing how everyone on earth got her number, what her role is in these dialogues, etc, all we can do is use Occam's Razor. And in my opinion, she is provoking flirtations from some and exaggerating/making-up other stories entirely.
 
H

hydrophilic attack

Member
KoopaTheCasual said:
Oh please, this situation isn't healthy, and any "so much for tolerant gaffers" argument doesn't belong here.

Yes, we only have one side of the scenario, and judging by how young OP seems, its not a stretch to imagine he's painting it more sympathetically in his favor.

However, the glut of the responses seems to tell OP to "bail." That hardly seems insecure or callous towards the women. That's just gaffers saying, "this situation sounds shitty, I wouldn't want any part of that."
Click to expand...

So if you start dating someone, and start connecting with them, would you just abandon them in the middle of a potential sexual harassment shit sandwich, on the off-chance that she's somehow fucking with you, or just because you don't want to deal with it?
 
Q

Quixzlizx

Member
flkraven said:
Getting a little nuts, huh?

So far the tally of people currently hitting on your GF

1) Every dude at work
2) The Chinese delivery guy
3) Lesbian friend (even girls can't handle her!)

In a vacuum, this isn't impossible. But without knowing how everyone on earth got her number, what her role is in these dialogues, etc, all we can do is use Occam's Razor. And in my opinion, she is provoking flirtations from some and exaggerating/making-up other stories entirely.
Click to expand...

Maybe OP is dating Aphrodite.
 
HellforLeather

HellforLeather

Member
Time to walk away...not so much because guys are hitting on her (assuming shes being truthful about this), but because she sounds really insecure shes getting upset about you talking to your housemates.
 
V

Verano

Reads Ace as Lace. May God have mercy on their soul
Prolly some of them dudes are in the Dating GAF thread?
Seriously tho OP have lunch with your girl then share some kisses after or do what most couples do buy a generic pair of rings for both of you to wear..
Whatever it takes to ward off other dudes also have a serious talk with her..she comes off a little sketchy
 
F

flkraven

Member
hydrophilic attack said:
So if you start dating someone, and start connecting with them, would you just abandon them in the middle of a potential sexual harassment shit sandwich, on the off-chance that she's somehow fucking with you, or just because you don't want to deal with it?
Click to expand...

Have you considered the fact that the more likely scenario here is that she is making it or, at the very least, there is much more information required?
 
K

Kumquat

Member
Things just aren't adding up here correctly. I dunno if you are leaving stuff out or she is but something is setting off my bullshitameter. Really it focuses around the 10+ people texting her. I just don't believe that that many dudes got her number from a source that wasn't her and blew up her phone with their raw thirst.
 
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