Has anyone changed their mind from anti-gay marriage to pro-gay marriage?

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scarlet

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It's nice reading a lot of positive comments and reactions on GAF about the gay marriage, and it makes me wonder. Does anyone here have change their mindset from being an anti gay or homophobia to supporting gay marriage? And what makes you change your mind?
 
When I sat back and thought about it, I HAVE NO RIGHT to stand in the way of the same pursuit of happiness that others are on, same as me. I HAVE NO RIGHT to tell somebody who they can and cannot love. I HAVE NO RIGHT to take advantage of the benefits that a marriage gives, yet denying those same benefits to a gay couple who LOVE each other.

And the fact that some folks use the most basic of arguments and reasoning to say that they DO have those rights, is completely beyond me.

I've never been Anti-gay, so much as I was indifferent to it years ago. Being a GAF member helped me with great incite, and reason.
 
I was anti-marriage-equality when I was like nine years old and had no perspective or knowledge.

Then life and perspective happened.
 
scarlet said:
It's nice reading a lot of positive comments and reactions on GAF about the gay marriage, and it makes me wonder. Does anyone here have change their mindset from being an anti gay or homophobia to supporting gay marriage? And what makes you change your mind?
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Don't have anything to contribute really as I am gay myself, but just wanted to know where your avatar is from, sorry :)
 
legacyzero said:
When I sat back and thought about it, I HAVE NO RIGHT to stand in the way of the same pursuit of happiness that others are on, same as me. I HAVE NO RIGHT to tell somebody who they can and cannot love. I HAVE NO RIGHT to take advantage of the benefits that a marriage gives, yet denying those same benefits to a gay couple who LOVE each other.

And the fact that some folks use the most basic of arguments and reasoning to say that they DO have those rights, is completely beyond me.

I've never been Anti-gay, so much as I was indifferent to it years ago. Being a GAF member helped me with great incite, and reason.
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Yeah, I think it helps.

7threst said:
Don't have anything to contribute really as I am gay myself, but just wanted to know where your avatar is from, sorry :)
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Gengoroh Tagame :)
 
Yeah I was brought up in a super Christian and super homophobic country, so I was a little shit when I was younger. Then I realized I liked girls lol

Marriage equality didn't really have anything to do with it.
 
I grew up in a somewhat conservative Christian household in Ohio, though I wasn't in a family or in a church that ever taught any sort of hatred toward LGBT people - or anyone for that matter. We attended a United Church of Christ, which is an extremely liberal denomination and very accepting of gay people, though our local church was still a lot more conservative than the national church. I attended the UCC's national synod as a sophomore in high school and it was a completely eye-opening experience. Tons of LGBT people attended and there was even a transgender choir that performed at it. It was a huge culture shock to me and I didn't know how to process it at the time. Not because I disliked LGBT people, but simply because I didn't even KNOW any gay people.

A couple years later, I went to college at Ohio State and really did get to know gay people. And because I attended a church that never taught any sort of hatred toward them, I never had any ill will in my heart toward them. There really wasn't much for me to get over. So I gradually became a supporter of SSM and gay rights, though I wasn't particularly vocal about it yet.

A few years later I was working in Albany, living just a few blocks from the New York State Capitol. When the New York State Legislature approved same-sex marriage, I got to witness firsthand the incredible joy that it brought to that city and that state. It was a wonderful experience that transformed me from a quiet supporter to an outspoken advocate on the issue.
 
I was never anti. There was probably a time that i did not care either way (...it did not affect me, so I don't care what happens). Although, many years back I learned than even if things do not affect me I should pay attention to them, and be concerned about how they play out.

I am Irish, so our referendum felt like a bigger deal to me. As I am not American, this does not not feel like a big win as it must feel for many. I am still concerned by the amount of countries holding couples back, and also the few that if jail/beat people for such mindsets. Even though America can celebrate, there is still much that should be done, and even though millions can now celebrate, don't forget about the worldwide issues still affecting multitudes more.
 
fizzik said:
I was anti-marriage-equality when I was like nine years old and had no perspective or knowledge.

Then life and perspective happened.
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I think it took me until high school. Strangely, I didn't even (knowingly) know any gay people at the time, and I was never overly prejudiced. But, my parents were of the "it's wrong, but we're not going to offer any substantiating information, because we're not even religious, but we still think it's wrong" variety, which went seamlessly along with their other advice, like, "Don't you ever marry a black girl."

Once I realized my parents were idiots, any preconceived notions of intolerance faded. I will say that it was a slow transition from prejudice to "it's okay, but I don't want to see it" to texting my friend "fair winds and following semen" last night, when he was on a date with a Navy guy.
 
I think for a lot of people like myself that were homophobic for most of their lives, it was just a matter of exposure and education.

I didn't really interact (knowingly) with anyone who was gay until I was about 25 or so when one of my coworkers explained to me he was gay. I remember we went out to eat and had a long Q&A session about the culture and just everything else and I felt like a lot of misconceptions were cleared up and some of the stereotypes explained. So that was about 10 years ago and I think many, many people have had similar experiences what with more and more people coming openly out of the closet. It's amazing how impossible it is to feel bigoted towards a group of people when you are able to knowingly interact with them regularly.
 
I was anti when i was younger, back when I was parroting most of my dad's stupid ass beliefs. Hell, I voted for Bush when he went against Kerry. That was around the time I was just starting to waiver on things.

Honestly what helped was internet arguments. People think oh, you're never going to convince each other, so why do it? Well, arguments like that helped sway me quite a bit.
 
I was between indifferent and supporting it, but now I feel like I have to be very vocal against people being loud about their opinions for against it. They have every right to their opinions, but they don't need to share them.
 
scarlet said:
It's nice reading a lot of positive comments and reactions on GAF about the gay marriage, and it makes me wonder. Does anyone here have change their mindset from being an anti gay or homophobia to supporting gay marriage? And what makes you change your mind?
Click to expand...

being brought up in a strictly christian family, I thought it was terrible.

Til I got to college and got to expand my horizon and meet gay people (helps that my school was located right in the east village of NYC). Then realized they are just normal people like myself.
 
I used to be a homophobe up till 5 years ago, but then I got a job at this amazingly awesome tech company that doesn't tolerate such bullcrap, I slowly changed my mind.

Looking back at my Facebook posts from that time makes me cringe now. Man, was I massive jerk hole.

Edit: working alongside exceedingly intelligent and terrifically talented LGBT people also helped.
 
For me, nothing really seemed to "change" per se. I just realized about 6 years ago that something I had been complicit in resisting for no reason whatsoever was a basic human right. I guess I still had some parental issues floating around.

There must have been a click somewhere in there, some moment I didn't notice. I'm glad it happened, though.
 
My family can be a little homophobic and they still are, which had its effect on me early on but I stopped caring about that sort of thing in high school. People deserve happiness wherever they find it and it doesn't affect my life so more power to the gay community. I love everybody. :)
 
I don't think I was ever outright opposed, but I do remember having to gradually shift away from terrible viewpoints like "Oh why do they have to make such a big deal of it? Don't they know they're the ones causing the problem!" I othered LGBT people and their plight as none of my business.

A lot of it came from going on forums, I guess. Just learning that this was a real issue felt by real people who have to live that bullshit every day caused me to reevaluate my viewpoints. I think that's how it is for a lot of people. The truth eventually comes out to you, and you either accept it or don't.
 
Never had an issue with gay people. As a kid I used gay slurs but when I got older and learned why they were offensive I stopped. As for being heterosexual and naturally finding homosexual sexuality not my cup of tea, was kind of offset by the amount of heterosexual sex acts I also find off putting.

If it's not me involved and everyone who is is legal and of sound mind it's more than just I don't care and straight up none of my business. That's what I don't get about anti gay people, it does not matter how you feel about it or gender of partners ( and it's the same lesson "nice guys" need to learn about the women they obsess over) if it's not you and not your partner, it is literally (no hyperbole) none of your business who other people are sleeping with.

As for marriage, never thought about it until it became an issue, but once I was made aware I had no issue with it, was happy when Massachusetts legalized it, and when I was in Maine and it was on the ballot I voted for it.
 
I've always been a strong proponent of "to each his own". You do your thing, I do mine. We don't interfere, we don't judge, we don't hate, and we all get along.

You're not better than me, you're not worse than me. You're just different than me. And that's alright by me.
 
I never outright said there shouldn't be gay marriage, but It was never something I agreed with either.

Not until I met my wife and got to know her gay brother, who was in a long-term committed relationship.

Now I find it disheartening that people spend so much time fighting this.

I used to be die-hard republican too. I find it hard to agree with their "values" anymore.
 
I used to be terrible up until I was about 14. I'll never ever blame myself for it though, because I thought that way because I grew up sheltered and indoctrinated by the kind of Christian school that once made someone, who was told on for being gay by his "friends," repent in front of the dean and principle in order to not be expelled, and who was still even after he did that prohibited from participating in extracirricular activites for the remainder of his senior year.

I changed because I'm a reader, and because I grew up, it's as simple as that really. The one thing I couldn't be protected from was enlightening books. Eventually getting out of and away from that place helped a lot too. I used to feel guilty about how I used to feel, but lingering on a negative past is depressing as shit when the now's a delightful time, and I can't really say I feel responsible for growing up brainwashed and being inserted into that situation by my parents.
 
My mindset hasn't really changed since I was a teen. I've been for gay marriage for as long as I could remember but if I could have it my way, I'd rather the state remove the notion of marriage in favor of keeping civil unions. I think the use of the word marriage (regardless of what it may have been in the past), is very slippery of a term to use due to its religious connotation. I think had the word marriage not been a term used by the state, we could have addressed this problem decades ago.

Edit: I never felt the religious (Christian) justification for banning it either due to the U.S. Being a secular nation and rendering unto Caesar and what not.
 
When I was like 13 I said slurs such as faggot and stuff like that, though I personally believed in marriage equality. I think it was just me mimicking the environment around me (rural Kentucky). Not to excuse my behavior though, that's an awful thing to do.

Now obviously I grew out of it, but looking at my FB yesterday it seems I was an exception. Straight up nasty comments from people I grew up with.
 
nah. i never really cared about someone's sexual orientation. i did, however, use the word "faggot" and its many variations liberally when i was younger. there wasn't any malice behind it--it was just another cuss word like "fuck you" that really didn't mean much. i'm not a dumbass kid anymore so i've stricken it from my vocabulary.
 
I grew up in a very conservative family and community and didn't know any gay people, just assumed it was wrong cuz of Church but didn't really care one way or the other. I don't think I even knew what the word meant or what being gay was until my late teenage years.

Will and Grace first exposed me to gays probably just being normal people with normal problems, and then I lived and worked in San Francisco where I made a lot of gay friends. Most of my family is pretty supportive of gay rights but not my dad and some of my older uncles.

I'm still a fiscal conservative, now social libertarian, and have no real political party that aligns with my views in America.
 
I've never been a homophobe, when I was a child I just learnt that discrimination is fucking stupid(from videogames lol) and grew up that way.

I'm proud to say that I've changed the mind of some of my friends, one of my best friends was a hardcore homophobe and I talked him out of that crap.
 
I used to think civil unions were good enough. I don't remember what changed my mind exactly. Probably GAF.

GAF also helped me understand transsexuals. I knew nothing about them outside of what I saw in stupid comedies. So I just took them as being funny. I thought they dressed up as the opposite gender for fun, I guess. I never gave it much thought honestly. GAF definitely opened my eyes and now I'm embarrassed about how I used to feel.

Edit: Also I used to use "gay" as slang for "lame" or just generally bad. I had a girlfriend who told me how insulting that was so I stopped that.
 
When I was a teen many years ago during school, specifically around the 13-17 range I didn't understand how homosexuality can exist, I didn't understand how people came to be that way. I didn't bash or do any hateful things for the most part during those years but I found it "wrong" and I grew up as an irreligious person and my basis was that it was "unnatural".

Then I made friends with a gay person when I was nearing 17 years of age and I came to completely understand what sexual orientation was about and it clicked to me how my own feelings to orientation felt and how it must feel the same for homosexuals but just to the same sex instead. Once I realised you don't have much choice in the matter and that's it's a natural fact of attraction that you can't really control is when it was the "eureka!" moment.

Other than those few years during my young teens years I've been 100% fine with anything LGBT, nothing really changed my mind specifically, gay marriage came with it naturally. Never had anything specifically shape my view against homosexuality either, no one in my family ever speaks about it or makes a comment about it in a negative or positive way either.
 
I was sort of anti in my younger years (I was really young back then) but it all got solved when I've started to care about philosophy (with 16 I guess). I'm a huge supporter now and part of my academic work circles around gender and sexuality. Still feeling like a jerk for all these things I said back then as a stupid teenager though.
 
I was indifferent now I'm not. Don't think it's here as much as me being a raving leftie that ended up moving in groups that did care alot and working with "out" gay people helped too cause i seen how important it was.
 
I've always been open to it. I guess I'm bisexual - I've had boyfriends before. Adding it up, I've had gay sex (oral) twice, and had 12 female sexual partners so far (I'm 26).

Either way, I don't care.
 
I never gave a shit cause I got my own problems to deal with, let alone who someone else is banging and in love with and shit. Other people's lives are their own. As long as no one's hurt, I don't care.
 
Was raised in a conservative household. When all my arguments were shot down by logic I changed my mind. This was maybe when I was around 16?
 
I've never been against gay marriage; being progressive on the early days of the internet was a massive lesson in frustration.
 
I used to be pro civil union rather than pro gay marriage, but I don't think that phase lasted very long and grew out of it by college.
 
I don't know if it counts, but I was more don't care about gay marriage either way to pro gay marriage. It's actually the anti-gay comments I read that steered me this way. They were disgusting, stupid, and nonsensical.
 
I've been pro-ish gay marriage since I challenged my conservative high school teacher in 2004 or 5 on why the Bush admin was so concerned about it when it clearly had a ton of other shit to deal with. She spouted some religous based speil about how terrible it would be, and I replied with "...but... I mean... who cares?" To which a cute girl in class backed me up with "Yeah!" (the rest of the class was silent). The teacher didn't really know how to answer.

(I wasn't anti-gay marriage before this, but I just didn't spend much time thinking about it)

I'm not to big on how it went down though. I would rather have had the states vote on it, and I would prefer to have gotten rid of the word marriage for ALL marriages in our legal lexicon; opting instead for the civil union title (calling a marriage a marriage would be up to private individuals). Every state adopting a system of civil unions would better streamline the recognition of a variety of human relationships outside of marriage, and there probably would have been less strife about giving LGBT people the right if it had been called that.

Congrats though. I'm OCD about details and having shit arranged the way I want it. Don't let me ruin your day.
 
I used to not care about marriage at all. I used to think that marriage was overrated. I was very cynical about the subject. All of that changed throughout the years. I am now strongly in favor of same-sex marriage for various reasons.
 
My stepdad made sure that at a young age I understood that gays were gross and on the level of sheep fuckers. No, seriously, hear me out. My stepdad thought it was funny to joke with me, even in my single digits, that I was going to have sex with the town's "token gay guy" and that I should wear velcro gloves around sheep "in case you want to pop one or two". We'd drive by this old gay guy in a purple windbreaker or a field of sheep and he would always tell me to buckle my seatbelt so I could "control" myself and not jump out of the car to fuck the man or sheep in the asshole. He had zero reason to believe I was gay or a sheep fucker, but in his mind he thought it was hilarious to put those seemingly similar labels on a kid.

Those were his two favorite things to joke about and I heard them for years. He would shiver and literally say "brrr". Like you would say "buhr". Or "ew fucking ew haha brrrrr" whenever we saw "Freddy", the old gay guy sashaying down the street. Just like you can't marry a sheep, I grew up understanding that obviously men can't marry other men.

One day, to try and make sure I understood how gross gay people are, he told me a story about two old men who lived in northern, somewhat rural Iowa. They met in WWII and fell in love and stayed together like man and wife for decades. They were successful-ish business guys who ran a store or restaurant. My stepdad would tell me that they were both super nice, so in turn he was nice to them, but going into their store/place would creep him out because they openly called each other "honey".

They're likely dead now, but that story did change me. He was right. It made me horribly sad that these two guys who loved each other "like a man and woman love each other" couldn't be married. I never even considered the concept of gay marriage and it wasn't a thing my 12 year old, early 90s mind even heard about (I didn't watch/read news).

But at that moment I wanted gays to be able to be married and that feeling never left.

I do think that sheep fucking is gross, though, so sorry sheepGAF.
 
Growing up, I was probably homophobic(might be too strong of a word), due to kids being little shits and throwing around gay slurs. I don't think I was ever anti-marriage. Around 20 was when I slowly started to become pro-marriage. Mainly thanks to religious groups/people trying to tell people who and who shouldn't get married.
 
My dad is a pastor and I grew in that all the way through high school. Went to a Christian high school and everything. I was completely against gay marriage. I voted in favor for the constitutional amendment that marriage was between a man and woman in my state. I think that was over a decade ago.

It slowly started to change for me but when I was around 24 I just didn't care for any of the Christianity crap that was fed to me for basically my whole life at that point. I starting working with gays more at my job and its a sin bullshit was enough for me. Completely ashamed and embarrassed by my past actions but do whatever I can now to support them. Going to pride week this weekend with the wife and pretty sure I ruined some family relationships after yesterday on Facebook but worth it in the long run for me.
 
Yeah I was mostly against it through grade school as I went to private catholic schools and was always taught that. But once I reached high school and started thinking for myself I realized everyone should be able to do what they want and be with the people they want to be with. Was a pretty simple switch of opinion once I thought about it.
 
i did

I was more closed minded when I was 20, I loosened up and got more pressive during my 30s

got more open with age I guess

now at 40, I support marriage equality.

Exposure to different people at the workplace, living in the city after moving away from the burbs, meeting different people opens up your horizons.
 
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