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Hot Mom Defends Herself Against Facebook Haters, gives a non-apology

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On one hand, there are a lot of people with valid reasons that they can't get that kind of body, regardless of how hard they work. On the other hand, recent sharp increases in obesity rates point to the majority of obesity cases being caused by lifestyle factors rather than innate human biology. So I could see how she meant the message to be inspirational, but to me personally it comes off as needlessly confrontational and elitist, and she's extremely naive if she thought no one would react negatively to it.

Washboard abs? Maybe not. However, with diet alone you can be very slim and healthy.

Do people really think this is so easy to do?

It is easy. If someone told you that you would die if you ate something you loved. Would you be able to resist? It's all about how bad you really want it.
 

marrec

Banned
It was a meme posted to Facebook. Not an in-depth dissertation on the obesity problem in America.

I'm just explaining why some people were offended.

I don't find the picture offensive, but then I'm not a mother of 3 with a job and PTA meeting and soccer practice and Karate and dinner cooking and house keeping.

So I can't really judge someone for being pissed. *shrug*
 

RM8

Member
People feel that you shouldn't need an excuse to be fat - that being big isn't something one must correct - and to ask someone why they're still fat is a form of fat shaming rhetoric.

I can see why some would take offense to something like this. It's basically saying, "you aren't hot like me, who was once not hot until I got off my lazy ass." It's condescending.
I'm underweight, this woman is more fit than me and I truly have no excuse for this. But this is not fat shaming.
 

andycapps

Member
She looks great and she has a good point. People make excuses. I did for years. My wife did for years as well. Now she's started working out and eating better. She's lost 26 pounds so far. If you want to be in better shape, you can be. People are hating on her because she made her looks and fitness a priority. Please, while most are watching Dancing with the Stars or House Hunters, she's working her ass off. She gets my respect.

She thankfully doesn't have washboard abs, but is very fit. If you want washboard abs, look up Bella Falconi.
 

joelseph

Member
Good for this woman. All you really need is an hour a day for 5 days a week, you're not really devoting this crazy amount of time to looking fit, 90% of it is based on what you do when you're not at the gym.


She doesn't watch TV.

When she takes her kids to the park she works out.

Sounds like she doesn't work and is able to devote her entire life to fitness.

It comes off to me as one of those over obsessed crossfit nuts on facebook that is trying to monetize their recent weight loss by forcing it on the rest of their feed.
 

Tenks

Member
Does she have a job outside of fitness? I'd say that is many people's excuse is they have to be at a job 40-50 hr/wk and come home to a family. If her job is fitness then she can dedicate 40-50 hr/wk to fitness and not sitting around entering TPS reports.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
She doesn't watch TV.

When she takes her kids to the park she works out.

Sounds like she doesn't work and is able to devote her entire life to fitness.

It comes off to me as one of those over obsessed crossfit nuts on facebook that is trying to monetize their recent weight loss by forcing it on the rest of their feed.

Guessing she raises the kids, too. Which, of course, is the hardest job on the planet.

EDIT: Yup. Owns two businesses, works full-time and has no nanny.
 

Cat Party

Member
Does she have a job outside of fitness? I'd say that is many people's excuse is they have to be at a job 40-50 hr/wk and come home to a family. If her job is fitness then she can dedicate 40-50 hr/wk to fitness and not sitting around entering TPS reports.
This is my excuse. Since she was asking.
 

Borgnine

MBA in pussy licensing and rights management
I think the problem is that this message is not relevant to 300 pound women. Like if it was a before and after picture of a 250 pound woman down to 150 and it said "what's your excuse?" then it'd be fine. But this is more for the woman that's already not obese and wants to take it to the next level. But for the big fat lady its like one of us seeing a picture of a guy on the moon and it saying "what's your excuse?"
 

marrec

Banned
She looks great and she has a good point. People make excuses. I did for years. My wife did for years as well. Now she's started working out and eating better. She's lost 26 pounds so far. If you want to be in better shape, you can be. People are hating on her because she made her looks and fitness a priority. Please, while most are watching Dancing with the Stars or House Hunters, she's working her ass off. She gets my respect.

She thankfully doesn't have washboard abs, but is very fit. If you want washboard abs, look up Bella Falconi.

I love that the only choice you have is to either look SUPER FIT or watch TV and be fat. There's no middle ground where you eat right, casually work out, and maintain a healthy weight.
 

Eidan

Member
Does she have a job outside of fitness? I'd say that is many people's excuse is they have to be at a job 40-50 hr/wk and come home to a family. If her job is fitness then she can dedicate 40-50 hr/wk to fitness and not sitting around entering TPS reports.

Yes.

Because of the barrage, Kang has put together a FAQ page about her personal life, with responses to many of the criticisms and accusations she’s become accustomed to hearing. For example: “Do you work?” (Yes. She owns two small residential care facilities for the elderly.) “Do you have a nanny?” (No.) “Are those your kids? They all look different.” (“I have to say this is the funniest comment I’ve read. Of course, my children look like both the mother and father,” she writes. “I am half Malaysian Chinese and Filipina. My husband is a Caucasian mix of German, French, Norwegian and Spanish. They are all my kids.”)
 

Trey

Member
Good for this woman. All you really need is an hour a day for 5 days a week, you're not really devoting this crazy amount of time to looking fit, 90% of it is based on what you do when you're not at the gym.

All you need to do to not be a hideous slob is to completely change your lifestyle and devote time you may or may not have to an activity you may or may not like or even be capable of doing.

I really dislike the "all you have to do" approach. Getting in shape is hard work.
 
D

Deleted member 17706

Unconfirmed Member
How on Earth is this fat shaming?

I think we're at the point where implying that a fit, muscular body is good, attractive, and something to strive for is automatically fat shaming.
 
If anything, her "aggressive" tone and tough love is probably what is needed more, instead of the constant reinforcement police about how everyone is great, special etc.

Someone wrote to her that "those kids need a mommy, not a glamor model" which is ironic, because those kids need a healthy mother who is happy with who she is, not a lazy, bonbon eating drone who is playing Candy Crush all day on Facebook and is miserable

Nine times out of ten, this is a typical mother.

An example: my niece just started going to nursery school. My sister went to a meeting where the teachers said something about parents who work full time and she heard all the mothers snickering to themselves, obviously indicating they're stay at home mothers. My sister isn't. She works full time. I went with her to pick up my niece one day and almost every single mother is overweight (one looked bulimic and dressed like she was 16 so she's the exception - looked like shit to be honest). My sister looks malnourished next to these women but she's constantly walking around (works in a hospital). Guaranteed those mothers found what this woman said offensive.

You have it wrong. It's that some of these people do like the way they look, but they're being attacked for it. They get understandably defensive about that. Everyone's body and life is their own body and life.

Who's getting attacked? Just because she wrote "what's your excuse?," she's attacking specific people? Gimme a break.
 

IceCold

Member
In other words, a lot of people have a lot of excuses for not looking like her and her short-sightedness of this fact is offensive to some.

Some excuses are more valid than others though. But we must also consider that not everybody is looking to be this fit and that you can look healthy and be skinny without hitting the gym every day. People have different priorities after all. But you have a problem if you are fat, unhappy with your body, and do nothing about it. That's laziness and lack of drive for 99.9% of people. Only excuse I would accept is an actual medical issue (such as side effects from medicine)
 

animus82

Banned
My brother and I went to school with her. This was high school. Nice girl. The most popular girl in her class. Class of '98.

She was pretty and thin back then as well but not so fit.
 

andycapps

Member
I love that the only choice you have is to either look SUPER FIT or watch TV and be fat. There's no middle ground where you eat right, casually work out, and maintain a healthy weight.

That's not the only choice, but I'm guessing that people in this thread complaining about having no time after working their job tend to watch some TV on a daily basis. So say you had one hour of free time a day and the choice to spend that time working out or watching TV. Best scenario is to work out while you're watching TV, but whatever.

I work full time, workout 4 days a week, and watch plenty of TV. It's not mutually exclusive.
 

Gannd

Banned
Good for this woman. All you really need is an hour a day for 5 days a week, you're not really devoting this crazy amount of time to looking fit, 90% of it is based on what you do when you're not at the gym.

A lot of women when they have young kids don't have an hour a day. My wife now that my daughter is 6 months is now able to take her to the YMCA and have them watch our daughter. Prior to 6 months they wouldn't. She's lost weight by taking our daughter for walks, doing a home workout while she naps and eating well. But, it's not always that easy. We cannot afford a full time nanny like this woman can. She isn't watching three young kids full time and doing this full time job (she's a personal trainer).

I don't think it's right to shame women who are unhappy about what pregnancy has done to their body and may not be able to get into the gym.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Love how some of the questions are just blind attacks. "Hey, okay, so we can't find an angle to get our jealousy across, so real quick, we're going to insinuate that you're a slut. Who are the 3 different dads of your kids?"
 

muddream

Banned
Good for her for being in such great shape. However the "what's your excuse" is extremely condescending, since obesity is such a complex socioeconomic issue.

We should be past the point in society in which we blame individuals entirely for their fitness and health. There are a lot of other factors at play.

HAHAHA

The sad part is that I can't tell if this is trolling or not, people actually believe this shit.
 

KingGondo

Banned
I think the problem is that this message is not relevant to 300 pound women. Like if it was a before and after picture of a 250 pound woman down to 150 and it said "what's your excuse?" then it'd be fine. But this is more for the woman that's already not obese and wants to take it to the next level. But for the big fat lady its like one of us seeing a picture of a guy on the moon and it saying "what's your excuse?"
I like this comparison of the ultimate dreams of these two demographics:

300 pound housewives: be skinny
GAFfers: walk on the moon

Probably pretty accurate.

muddream said:
HAHAHA

The sad part is that I can't tell if this is trolling or not, people actually believe this shit.
Kindly respond to my points rather than posting this bullshit. I don't mind having a conversation.
 
All you need to do to not be a hideous slob is to completely change your lifestyle and devote time you may or may not have to an activity you may or may not like or even be capable of doing.

I really dislike the "all you have to do" approach. Getting in shape is hard work.
I like the reverse of it, where people are like "I want to lift some weights to get a little toned, but I don't want to look like Arnold," as if it were an easy look to achieve that we're all carefully avoiding by minimizing reps or something.
 
How could she possibly account for all the potential reasons you can't work out? She didn't write "You can achieve this even if you have fyblomastomia" or what the fuck ever. The assumption here is that there are many things we can do to improve ourselves physically, and often we make excuses nit to change because changing is hard.

Are there a myriad of factors that make it hard for individuals or socio-economic groups? Hell yeah. That doesn't mean that's the issue she was addressing.

Good on her for structuring her day in a way that allows her to be productive, take care of her kids, and work, too. Not to mention the help she gets from her husband.
 

gwarm01

Member
Ah, yes. Fibromyalgia, these disease of depressed middle aged women looking for an explanation for why they always feel like crap. Usually completely bonkers on top of everything.

(clearly this is a stereotype, but I'll be dammed if it isn't usually true.)
 

megamerican

Member
She has nothing to be ashamed or apologize for. Anyone upset at her is just projecting their own insecurities onto her. Fat people can be fat and that's their choice, you can't force the perception that being fat is attractive.
 

Gannd

Banned
That's not the only choice, but I'm guessing that people in this thread complaining about having no time after working their job tend to watch some TV on a daily basis. So say you had one hour of free time a day and the choice to spend that time working out or watching TV. Best scenario is to work out while you're watching TV, but whatever.

I work full time, workout 4 days a week, and watch plenty of TV. It's not mutually exclusive.

I agree that a lot of unfit people use "I don't have time" as an excuse when it comes to weight loss. Most of weight is diet based. But, not every woman with 3 young kids has full time support so she can look like that. She talked about her schedule (if you read the story) and she never mentions the time she is spending raising her kids or taking care of the family. That's my problem.
 

marrec

Banned
Some excuses are more valid then others though. But we must also consider that not everybody is looking to be this fit and that you can look healthy and be skinny without hitting the gym every day. People have different priorities after all. But you have a problem if you are fat, unhappy with your body, and do nothing about. That's laziness and lack of drive for 99.9% of people. Only excuse I would accept is an actual medical issue (such as side effects from medicine)

This is the message that the picture misses.

Are you unhappy with your body? You can change that with hard work and discipline.

Are you cool with your body? Good on ya.

I don't think everyone should look like her... hell, I'd much rather every girl NOT look like her as I'd be more attracted to her if she had a bit more fat on her.
 

Hari Seldon

Member
The entire point of facebook is to be a complete narcissist. So this is narcissists getting mad at another narcissist for out narcissisting* them.

(*probably not a word)
 
She has nothing to be ashamed or apologize for. Anyone upset at her is just projecting their own insecurities onto her. Fat people can be fat and that's their choice, you can't force the perception that being fat is attractive.
There isn't an intention to force a perception that fat is attractive as much as it just exists and that people are allowed to have their own bodies and don't necessarily need constant judgment for it. It's a plea for humanity.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
I agree that a lot of unfit people use "I don't have time" as an excuse when it comes to weight loss. Most of weight is diet based. But, not every woman with 3 young kids has full time support so she can look like that. She talked about her schedule (if you read the story) and she never mentions the time she is spending raising her kids or taking care of the family. That's my problem.

She expressly talks about raising her kids with her husband, actually. In the OP, even.
 

SteveMeister

Hang out with Steve.
It's been said, but the entire problem here is the text on the image.

"What's your excuse?" is belligerent and puts people on the defensive. She wants to inspire people with her own fitness success, let them know that yes, you too can overcome obstacles such as time, genetic pre-disposition and children to get & stay fit, if you have the will and the physical ability to do it. But her chosen text isn't going to do that.

Inspiration cannot start with an accusation. She should have replaced the text with something more uplifting, positive and encouraging, and perhaps included a "before" picture.
 
A lot of women when they have young kids don't have an hour a day. My wife now that my daughter is 6 months is now able to take her to the YMCA and have them watch our daughter. Prior to 6 months they wouldn't. She's lost weight by taking our daughter for walks, doing a home workout while she naps and eating well. But, it's not always that easy. We cannot afford a full time nanny like this woman can. She isn't watching three young kids full time and doing this full time job (she's a personal trainer).

I don't think it's right to shame women who are unhappy about what pregnancy has done to their body and may not be able to get into the gym.

Why do you assume this woman has a full time nanny? She's not a personal trainer either.

The idea that 1 hour a week, every day is too much for normal parents is ridiculous. The reason why you don't look like that is because you don't want to put in the effort/don't want to look like that.

Just accept it, instead of making excuses.
 
It's like Mitt Romney sitting on a pile of cash with a "what's your excuse?" caption. I'm guessing even with the hardest work that body is unattainable for some people.
 

Gannd

Banned
She has nothing to be ashamed or apologize for. Anyone upset at her is just projecting their own insecurities onto her. Fat people can be fat and that's their choice, you can't force the perception that being fat is attractive.

I don't think anyone is doing that. Most fat people aren't trying to force people to think that they are attractive. Most fat people have low self esteem already and feel shitty enough about themselves not to have other people make them feel worse. This lady was a fitness model and beauty queen prior to having kids. A lot of it is genetic. Also: FULL TIME NANNY.
 

jmdajr

Member
Being in shape is tough work. But staying a normal healthy weight? Eating sensibly goes a long way.

It's worked for me now that going to the gym is no longer as easy as it used to be.
 
A lot of women when they have young kids don't have an hour a day. My wife now that my daughter is 6 months is now able to take her to the YMCA and have them watch our daughter. Prior to 6 months they wouldn't. She's lost weight by taking our daughter for walks, doing a home workout while she naps and eating well. But, it's not always that easy. We cannot afford a full time nanny like this woman can. She isn't watching three young kids full time and doing this full time job (she's a personal trainer).

I don't think it's right to shame women who are unhappy about what pregnancy has done to their body and may not be able to get into the gym.

That's fair enough, and I can understand it. We don't have any children, but my wife is up at 4:30 every day to get to the gym, the plan would be for her to still be able to do this if we do have kids. We wouldn't be able to afford a nanny, but the gym is important to both of us and we intend to keep that part of our lifestyle and make other sacrifices if necessary.
 

Carnby

Member
I'd like to see another version of this where a women with three children poses in front of her credentials, be it Masters, PHD, scientific awards, and a stack of published science journal articles. And then ask this former beauty queen what her excuse is.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
I don't think anyone is doing that. Most fat people aren't trying to force people to think that they are attractive. Most fat people have low self esteem already and feel shitty enough about themselves not to have other people make them feel worse. This lady was a fitness model and beauty queen prior to having kids. A lot of it is genetic. Also: FULL TIME NANNY.

No, seriously. Read the OP. It's the first post in this thread.
 
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