How do You cope with being mediocre?

I try to remember that I've still got it better than probably 99% of the planet and some percentage even higher than that of people that have ever lived. It's hard to complain about owning a house with running water and heat/AC and vehicles and not worrying about making ends meet, etc. I'm not a billionaire but if this is mediocre then mediocre is pretty good.
 
OP, if you feel like sharing, what dreams have you given up on? What things are you trying that you're mediocre at? Looked through the thread, didn't see.
 
So, in all seriousness now...if you want to just "cope", then I can't provide anything. If you want to make a difference in your life, though, read on - I'll write this in the context of a career.

First and foremost, you need to work with the boundary condition that you yourself aren't going to change the world or leave a mark. This requires many different people supporting you, and you supporting many different people. Folks like Satya Nadella, Elon Musk, etc didn't make the world a better place themselves. They are the figure heads that represent that accomplishment, but they don't for a moment believe they achieved this by themselves.

That said, you need to sit down and figure out where your passion or interests lie and how that intersects with what you could reasonably be good at. The key point here is not what you are currently good at, but what you feel you could train yourself to be good at. Also think outside the box or tangentially. For example, I am a chemist by training, but figured out how this intersects with a software related career and took a divergent route.

From there, set up a plan after research and see if it fits into your goal's time domain. If not, rinse and repeat, or level set your expectations.

Once you've established, amicably to yourself, the above, start taking baby steps - you will fall...a lot...but the key point is to get up, learn from your experience, and apply it to your future activities.

As you take your first steps, realize that achieving your goals isn't a single sudden event. It takes many repeated events of taking small responsibilities, delivering on them, and proving yourself to people around you. Remember that trust, respect, and confidence are earned over time with repeated success.

As you gain experience, rapport, trust, and respect, you will invariably be given more responsibility and individual decision making opportunities which require other people to support you. It's at this point where you have ownership and responsibility of decision making where you will also start to have the freedom to make proposals and ideas which start to impact the world...sometimes in small ways, other times in big ways. This could be a project proposal in a company you work for, or collaborating with peers with mutual respect and trust you decide to spin off a venture with, or taking your successes and training the next generation of industry leaders.

This is time consuming hard work with a lot of successes and failures along the way. But, the important thing is learn from your mistakes, drop the mindset of wallowing in failure and always be figuring out how to rectify your failures and how to prevent them from happening again.

To be super blunt, the notion of "coping" with mediocrity will never get you out of mediocrity. You haven't achieved some subjective goal you set for yourself. Boohoo. Instead of figuring out how to cope with that, spend time and effort figuring out how to reset your expectations properly and taking small but concrete steps in achieving reasonable goals from within the boundary of reset expectations.

Last - don't set a life goal that is 100% achievable. Set one that is hard and always be striving for it. When people achieve their goals, that tends to be a moment where a lot of people's personal growth stops.
 
Dang. So I would look into lifting weights and build yourself some confidence. If you don't like your job then look for a job that you want to do. Find out how to get into that job and build a career out of it. Eventually you will have a great job, fit physique, and confidence to do anything
 
mango drank said:
OP, if you feel like sharing, what dreams have you given up on? What things are you trying that you're mediocre at? Looked through the thread, didn't see.
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Thing is, all I've ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don't really bother me, just wanted to meet the 'one'

I'm 29 now and fed up of meeting wrong women, fed up when meeting the right women that I usually end up broken hearted. Really just sick of it now and wondering why I put myself through it. Just want to share my life with someone.

I've heard all the platitudes, so please don't post any. Have any of you chosen to become a confirmed bachelor? (No, not a 'confirmed bachelor'!)

Sad thing is, if I go down this route then I don't have any dreams in life 😐

(This isn't meant as a pity me thread or a disguised fishing thread! Feel free to take the piss as I'm sure you will!)
 
I think it also depends what cards you were given since birth. Specifically where you were born. I feel like people born in tropical places in US like Florida, California. Miami...they were brought up with the beach next to them, this laid back culture, skateboarding, massive music and underground scene. I mean sure, theres a bunch of poor or depressed people there too. But they had a good starting point. For me in my mid 30s, I still haven't given up on big dreams, I dont think you can only make big bank when you are 20yr old entrepreneur but the more years pass the more I feel alone in this pursuit because you slowly see friends settling down WHICH IS FINE, but settling down as in...oh I dont go to concerts anymore, oh I can only have one beer tonight, i hate my job but fuck it...they are becoming boring like someone sucked the life out of them. Thast what Im afraid off, if it happens to me and will I figure it out on my own or will I run into a likeminded person that we can motivate eachother for greater things.
 
Vier said:
Thing is, all I've ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don't really bother me, just wanted to meet the 'one'

I'm 29 now and fed up of meeting wrong women, fed up when meeting the right women that I usually end up broken hearted. Really just sick of it now and wondering why I put myself through it. Just want to share my life with someone.

I've heard all the platitudes, so please don't post any. Have any of you chosen to become a confirmed bachelor? (No, not a 'confirmed bachelor'!)

Sad thing is, if I go down this route then I don't have any dreams in life 😐

(This isn't meant as a pity me thread or a disguised fishing thread! Feel free to take the piss as I'm sure you will!)
Click to expand...
If it's some consolation for you, you are definitely not alone on that.
Having a good and long lasting relationship with someone is one of the hardest things, imo.

Never managed to, and for so many years I tried. I guess some men just aren't cut for it.
 
I started life basically with being poor, now I'm at least in the middle class, headed towards upper middle and soon to be somewhat rich. I work a few hours after work on trying to make more money and to become successful.
 
Vier said:
Thing is, all I've ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don't really bother me, just wanted to meet the 'one'

I'm 29 now and fed up of meeting wrong women, fed up when meeting the right women that I usually end up broken hearted. Really just sick of it now and wondering why I put myself through it. Just want to share my life with someone.

I've heard all the platitudes, so please don't post any. Have any of you chosen to become a confirmed bachelor? (No, not a 'confirmed bachelor'!)

Sad thing is, if I go down this route then I don't have any dreams in life 😐

(This isn't meant as a pity me thread or a disguised fishing thread! Feel free to take the piss as I'm sure you will!)
Click to expand...

lol i thought this topic was about having a crappy job
 
celebrity perverts GIF
 
Mediocre? Pfft, I'm a lot lower on the scale than that.

I cope by realizing it's just reality and that in order to have winners, you have to have losers.
 
At work or what?
I am the best fit at work since there is only 1 other engineer who does that in the company and he is an idiot who calls me for hell all the time.
So I am the best actually
 
Vier said:
Thing is, all I've ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don't really bother me, just wanted to meet the 'one'

I'm 29 now and fed up of meeting wrong women, fed up when meeting the right women that I usually end up broken hearted. Really just sick of it now and wondering why I put myself through it. Just want to share my life with someone.

I've heard all the platitudes, so please don't post any. Have any of you chosen to become a confirmed bachelor? (No, not a 'confirmed bachelor'!)

Sad thing is, if I go down this route then I don't have any dreams in life 😐

(This isn't meant as a pity me thread or a disguised fishing thread! Feel free to take the piss as I'm sure you will!)
Click to expand...
Jesus stop making women your only purpose in life. No wonder you date the wrong ones or break up with the decent ones. They know you're needy and are turned off by it. Focus on yourself for a change.
 
I'm happy being mediocre as long as I only have to be responsible for myself

When I had a girlfriend, I got sad by not being able to provide more for both of us.

So being alone is much more comforting. No matter what shit I get into, I'll only be disapointing myself.

Sounds depressing as fuck, but I'm happy by myself, not having to deal with other people's expectations

During quarantine I lost 12 kgs, got ripped from exercises, I'm learning French, being learning to play the guitar ...

Having time to spend with myself is awesome

Also, stop comparing yourself to others. Really. Exclude Facebook/Instagram if you have to. Do your own thing at your own time, and find what makes YOU happy.
 
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Thanks to the internet, I can have sex with a different beautiful woman every four to five hours. You just need to have a liberal definition of sex.
 
Making up your mind between keeping the quality and steady rotation would be a good start.
Also, if you're really into the former, here is the thing: relationships are overrated.
If you think your happiness depends on having a "successful" one that your "mediocrity" prevents you from finding - that's a path of life full of misery and frustration.
 
Vier said:
When I was younger I had a lot of dreams. As I grew older, and I failed to accomplish almost all of them, I found myself racked with sorrow. I hated my own inability and weakness. I hated that I'd failed. Ultimately, I had to give up on even trying to " succeed", which admittedly falls within my own metric, in order to keep on living. Whether I was average or below average from the start I don't know. The fact of the matter is, I am a failure now. I realize as long as I have time that it's possible to create change, but I'm not sure the struggle is worth it. Thus my question on how to cope with knowledge I am mediocre... Also, is it bad to believe yourself to be mediocre? Not everyone can be outstanding so some people have to be. Do you believe it's objectively possible to deem some people mediocre and others a success? Is there a basic criteria?
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Youre not gonna get anything from this thread other than fortune cookie sayings about believing in yourself.
 
Enjay said:
Youre not gonna get anything from this thread other than fortune cookie sayings about believing in yourself.
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the honest answer is you should try to c00p w / your miserable iq until nature's decay pulls you back to earth

it will prolly be a painful and lonely end
 
I like being average. Basically in todays time, being average is actually a success. I think TV and internet had a role in this. They present an image of success that is unrealistic to the majority of the population on earth. Many people try believe in this shit so when they fail to achieve this unrealistic success, they end up sad, depressed and call themselves a failure. That's the problem. God damn mainstream media.
 
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