IrishNinja
Member
page 1 always delivers with the "COLLEGE IS ABOUT EDUCATION" killjoy crowd, buncha hall monitors still salty no one invites them places
I called in a party to the RA, police showed up
- Thread starter Otakumegane
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Bullshit. OP asked the RA to tell them to lower the volume. That is not escalating the situation. Calling other RAs and the cops was escalating the situation, but that is not the OP's fault. My comment at the end of my last post wasn't directed at you, but was a general statement on how people are villifying the OP. The immediate future of those students partying should be A-OK, having alcohol in a no-alcohol zone isn't a serious offense.
If said guy was generating noise equivalent to that of a loud party then it could go either way. You can't assume things.
Making sweeping assumptions about people for saying they agree with OP's action. Classy.
This is exactly what I was getting at with an earlier post. You've articulated it far better than I did.
Atraveller
Banned
No but problem solving and working conflicts out with people is a huge part.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Should they wish to be vindictive though, they could make life for you uncomfortable one way or another. It's a complicated matter but perhaps in this case, reporting it to the RA was the best option. It's just too bad the cops got involved, but that wasn't expected and was beyond the OP's control.
Well said.
Atraveller
Banned
Technically calling the RA is one of them, but I get your point.
IrishNinja
Member
you work with what you're given - people cheering dude on after he feels guilty for getting the cops involved on a weekend party? i'd put vegas odds those "sweeping assumptions" are pretty spot-on bruh
Exploding8
Member
You think I haven't been in a similar situation? The guys next door to me this year play loud music all the damn time. I've told them numerous times to quiet the fuck down; they know its loud. If they do it during quiet hours I won't even hesitate to get the RA at this point. I don't give a shit, I tried to be friends with them early on but they didn't want to be friends. So fuck 'em. I'm working this semester; I'm not dealing with that shit. You can't be friends with everyone in life, even if they do live next to you.
And to the people saying something like "If you don't confront them you're not a MAN and won't be able to handle life!"
Really?
Being an adult to you means trying to tell a bunch of drunk college idiots to shut the hell up?
Because being an adult to me means either
A. You're considerate enough to not have a crazy loud party at 2AM
or
B. You're not stupid enough to get so damn drunk that you don't even realize how loud you're being at 2AM while you're under-age drinking.
or
C. If you're worried about either of the above you invite the people next to you to get in their good graces so they DON'T go straight to the RA instead of trying to reason with your drunken ass at 2 AM
Or avoid all the hassle and just go to the frats / house parties.
If he asked and they ignored him, I'd agree, tell the RA.
It reminds me when I used to TA classes. We'd constantly get emails during group projects on how so and so wasn't doing his share or this person wasn't working as hard.
We always had to make the point, this is to get you ready for the real world. You have to solve these conflicts on your own. Your work will be recognized (we knew who the "good" students were).
Conflict resolution and dealing with people is something you start learning far before college. Confrontation works better when you're not tired, irritated, angry, and facing a group of people with alcohol.
I was at an apartment party last year, the music was blaring loud and there was alcohol to go around. The neighbors called the cops on the party around 1:30AM and everyone had to leave. I don't blame them for calling the cops, we were causing a disturbance.
You'd lose a shit ton and I'd be rich then. OP was worried about the dudes because all he wanted was them to lower their volume, but the RA went apeshit. We're not cheering him on, we're saying he didn't do anything wrong in response to a bunch of people calling him a snitch.
VanillaCakeIsBurning
Member
I remember there being a "law" or something to describe this but I can't tell if this is serious or sarcasm. I'm leaning towards sarcasm based on the caps.
Anyway I find it funny that there are people framing the OP as some kind of social outcast. Purely because he made the call that someone else would have likely made since there were people on multiple floors having problems with the noise.
Does that mean if you have friends prior to making the report, they'll disappear into the ether? Or will you and your friends lose all memory of eachother in order for the person making the report to fulfill the description of a anti-social nerd? Strange stuff.
Actually having a loud party late at night while surrounding neighbours are trying to sleep is a pretty clear example of disrupting social order. Which is what anti-social behaviour is.
I noticed that someone above tried to use the more common definition of the word to describe the OP's actions and I can't agree since it's a clear misuse in this case.
GremlinFool
Member
I hope you sat all parties involved down for a DARE intervention on the dangers of imbibing alcohol afterwards. And, of course, personally thanked the police for preserving the peace by sending them a Hallmark card.
I was buzzed and in a happy mood regardless of the bust, everyone said their byes and we all went our separate ways. Shocking end, I know. Next time you're at a party and the cops bust it, be sure to tell them to fuck off to their faces, it sends such a nice message.
Baraka in the White House
2-Terms of Kombat
All you misanthropic social outcasts need to stop making baseless assumptions about the temperament of a group of loud drunk people.
I'd say it's at a completely different level in college because you now live with these people. So you're pretty off base there.
You all offered to pay the noise violation fee, correct?
OP handled the situation correctly. How his neighbors and RA handled the situation from there was beyond his control. Considering how judgmental people are in this thread it was a smart decision. Instead of having to be a pariah for the rest of the semester he handled it discretely.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Yup, plus he avoided having any chance of cyanide being put in his coffee....
IrishNinja
Member
there were better ways of doing that, like going to them before the RA for one - but yeah, the RA went apeshit cause many of them do just that. even then, you're not one of the people i was referring to on about how "college is for education, not parties" etc lawful-good type shit on the first page anyway, which is a distinction here - you can agree with what OP did without being a square about it, is the thing.
I'll give you that one. However this one night isn't the only chance the OP has to socialize with his dorm-mates. For that matter, if they don't like him because he called the RA that's not his problem.
Not everyone had money on hand since it was a costume party, but I offered up part of it yeah. A lot of people were miffed, but it wasn't about the neighbors not telling us to be quiet first.
Oh, I see what you're getting at now. I agree. I wouldn't say people are advocating no partying though.
I don't know. I kind of want to hear the answers since it's a surprisingly deep question. How do we decide what a "full college experience" is?
OJdaKiller
Member
I used to party in college..Both in and outside the dorms..It makes sense to be at very least friendly with your neighbors so when this happens, or vice versa, you can just bang on the wall and tell them to stop...But with that being said..
I think what you did was okay..They weren't your friends, nor does it sound like they will be in the future...BUT, you didn't call the cops..the dumbass RA did..He could have knocked, played it cool, gave them a warning..Cops thing was overkill by a powerhungry RA..
Regardless, an underage drinking ticket isn't a big...It really isn't..Granted involving the cops by the RA was a dick move..Big time dick move...They could have just dealt with the noise via campus police which only would resulted in campus workhours type stuff...Not a legal action...Anyways...
Your choice was fine given the circumstances...The neighbors have to own up to their actions...The RA is the one at fault...If the job of an RA isn't to tell students to be quiet, than what exactly is their job??? An RA should be calling cops as a last resort, not a first and that's the real problem here.
EDIT....WTF..Just saw this was on a weekend...Seriously OP? On a weekend you're whining to the RA?..Weekday I get it, but weekend..that's life in college..Can't get down on others for having fun...This is also a big reason people don't live in the dorms for their entire stay in college..It is noisey. It is loud..It's community living..
I think what you did was okay..They weren't your friends, nor does it sound like they will be in the future...BUT, you didn't call the cops..the dumbass RA did..He could have knocked, played it cool, gave them a warning..Cops thing was overkill by a powerhungry RA..
Regardless, an underage drinking ticket isn't a big...It really isn't..Granted involving the cops by the RA was a dick move..Big time dick move...They could have just dealt with the noise via campus police which only would resulted in campus workhours type stuff...Not a legal action...Anyways...
Your choice was fine given the circumstances...The neighbors have to own up to their actions...The RA is the one at fault...If the job of an RA isn't to tell students to be quiet, than what exactly is their job??? An RA should be calling cops as a last resort, not a first and that's the real problem here.
EDIT....WTF..Just saw this was on a weekend...Seriously OP? On a weekend you're whining to the RA?..Weekday I get it, but weekend..that's life in college..Can't get down on others for having fun...This is also a big reason people don't live in the dorms for their entire stay in college..It is noisey. It is loud..It's community living..
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Fuck you!
For real though, you should be enjoying yourself when you're at college, so long as it isn't at the expense of your education. With that said, a couple of nights of partying will not hurt your grades.
OJdaKiller
Member
That's a good question but one that doesn't have a definitive answer.
If there is an answer I'd like to see it include:
Dorm Life: Everyone needs to experience this...Not forever, but for at least a year..Rooming with a stranger, getting along in a group, all while maintaining your responsibilities is a unique experience...Throw in making friends and having fun and you've done something right.
-Crazy partying. If you aren't at least one, hopefully many, crazy fun underground (literally because they're in some guys basement), you've missed an important of college. Crazy is a relative word, but certainly open use of drugs, drinking, and potentially sex acts are part of this party..
-Pulling an all-nighter-You're cramming for something..A rush to get a project done...You put everything into a goal at the last minute and you come out on top...You surprise yourself.
-Sex-Now is the time...You get to meet plenty of people who aren't tied down in a relationship. You meet plenty of people from all walks of life..And a lot of them are drinking and horney...Go have fun but be safe.
-Socializing-In a broader sense this is what it's about...High school labels don't apply any more..Try things out..Be friends with whomever you can...Being an adult isn't as much fun because there's too much responsibility and not enough time...College places time and responsibility in your corner...Use it when it's working to your advantage..
I'm sure there's more...but ultimately college shows you have basic skills in something and you can complete a goal...You come out with a piece of paper like millions of others...What else did you gain besides the piece of paper when you leave college is the question?
Going off-topic for a minute: It depends on the major. Some majors you're done after a BS/BA. In others that bachelor's is useless and you need a masters to be considered competent. In others you need a PHD or an MD. Those aren't simply pieces of paper but years of additional experience and focused education about your profession versus the typical undergrad education. Additionally, different majors have different dedication requirements. Medical careers leading to doctor-hood require immense time dedication and doesn't leave much room for anything else. So I'd disagree that it's simply a piece of paper, depending on what you majored in.
SacredBeing2020
Banned
In my opinion people who complain about not being able to sleep because of noise are pampered babies.
If you're tired go to sleep.
If you're tired go to sleep.
OJdaKiller
Member
I'll mostly agree with you there. As "crazy college life" is really only a reality in undergraduate work. So if you're done after your BS/BA, you do have a piece of paper like everyone else. There are very few, if any, bachelor degrees that millions of other people don't already have..That's what I was mainly considering when I wrote that.
If you're going on in your education, you still have a piece a paper with more work ahead of you. In my graduate work, the party scene wasn't something for grad students as obviously they are consumed by schooling and work. Hopefully you got to experience the fun of being an undergrad as once it's gone, it's gone.
SacredBeing2020
Banned
I agree with this guy 100%
Jack Remington
Banned
There is no possible way the OP's actions were justified unless he had spoken to them about this before.
Yes, conflict resolution is an important life skill, but in response to these:
You're both conflating life inconveniencing you slightly (not getting enough sleep) with getting ANGRY, UPSET or otherwise escalating your aggression. Learning to maintain an attitude of equanimity is just as, if not more important than learning to confront people. Any confrontation you approach with a hot head is bound to fail whether folks are drunk or not.
That's the #1 thing I learned in college (and retail): even if the other person is freaking the fuck out, if you stay calm and introduce logic and reason to the situation chances are they'll cool off.
So no, the OP should not have gone over there fuming, been passive aggressive and then expected results. But don't underestimate the power of being understanding, compassionate and reasonable, even towards those that aren't exhibiting those qualities themselves. Now, if that approach doesn't work then you re-evaluate the situation and take a reasonable second step. Like calling an RA. Or, when I was dealing with an irate customer, calling a manager.
See what I'm saying?
You're both conflating life inconveniencing you slightly (not getting enough sleep) with getting ANGRY, UPSET or otherwise escalating your aggression. Learning to maintain an attitude of equanimity is just as, if not more important than learning to confront people. Any confrontation you approach with a hot head is bound to fail whether folks are drunk or not.
That's the #1 thing I learned in college (and retail): even if the other person is freaking the fuck out, if you stay calm and introduce logic and reason to the situation chances are they'll cool off.
So no, the OP should not have gone over there fuming, been passive aggressive and then expected results. But don't underestimate the power of being understanding, compassionate and reasonable, even towards those that aren't exhibiting those qualities themselves. Now, if that approach doesn't work then you re-evaluate the situation and take a reasonable second step. Like calling an RA. Or, when I was dealing with an irate customer, calling a manager.
See what I'm saying?
Riposte
Member
Strangers are only "owed" as much as you want (or forced) to give them, which may or may not include a special diplomatic audience at 2 am when you have something else in mind and people willing to solve it for you at no real cost. To go up and above for their sake is a choice; to believe it is an obligation, a responsibility you have allowed to be placed on yourself, takes away your ability to choose and with it any meaningful benevolence.
Everyone feels they're entitled to call people entitled, so it's no surprise that people who don't rollover one way or another are seen as the entitled ones by the other way. Instead of getting wrapped up in that judgmental power struggle, one should just worry about getting things done in a way that's best for them and leave the vengeful and righteous to the hypotheticals. This whole thread could be fiction for all it matters to the participants (ideological masturbation), but getting a good night sleep or having a guilt-free conscience is a real thing to someone actually in the situation. I've already voiced my preference in that I feel there is no guilt to be had, so the OP's choice was an easy one, but that's down to the individual.
Everyone feels they're entitled to call people entitled, so it's no surprise that people who don't rollover one way or another are seen as the entitled ones by the other way. Instead of getting wrapped up in that judgmental power struggle, one should just worry about getting things done in a way that's best for them and leave the vengeful and righteous to the hypotheticals. This whole thread could be fiction for all it matters to the participants (ideological masturbation), but getting a good night sleep or having a guilt-free conscience is a real thing to someone actually in the situation. I've already voiced my preference in that I feel there is no guilt to be had, so the OP's choice was an easy one, but that's down to the individual.
Re: the manga thing, I think people (myself included) are fixated on that because so much of the first-page defense force jumped on the "COLLEGE IS ABOUT EDUCATION, NOT PARTYING!" bandwagon when, in reality, the OP wanted to get his sleep so he could read his Sunday morning manga. Which is funny.
I see the OP's problem, but I viewed living in the dorm as a part of the college experience, and expected a certain amount of irritating noise to come with it. I didn't begrudge people having parties or being loud, unless it was my roommate. Grab some eurplugs
OP and enjoy college life.
and xanax
Dreams-Visions
Member
I probably wouldn't have reported it.
Thinking back on college dorm days...I was more likely to be at the party than trying to get some sleep during a party.
Thinking back on college dorm days...I was more likely to be at the party than trying to get some sleep during a party.
witchedwiz
Member
You and me, soul brother..
I like parties, i do..
But...
In a villa.. Or in a sole-owner condo...
when ppl organize late-going party in a condo i think it's just plain rude to their neighbourhood...
Dion Blaster
Member
I probably would have thrown on some headphones and listened to some music to sleep. But in my experience asking a party to quiet down almost never works. I've never actually been the asker but any time a party I'm at has someone ask them to keep it down that lasts about 10 minutes before it gets just as loud again.
Dr. Benton Quest
Banned
The "college experience" bullshit in this thread is making me sick.
Not everyone on this side of the fence is arguing that. I'm saying he hasn't done anything wrong. Conversely, if those people hate him then tough luck for them? He doesn't seem to care all that much nor should he.
Remember the context here. OP was woken up at 2AM, both he and his roommate were irritable. All he wanted was for them to quiet down, I'd say that's reasonable and understanding considering he was forcibly awoken. The RA is the one who went off the rails. Calling the RA was not unreasonable nor an act of hatred.
EDIT: and yes, being woken up at 2AM by a loud party tends to make one irritable and/or angry. 'Slight inconvenience' my ass. Noise complaints are a thing in apartment complexes as well.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
He's not reporting the party fellows because it interrupted his manga-reading session.
I think it is inappropriate that you folks are hurling personal insults towards the OP over this.
But then again, maybe *now* I will be the one who you lot will consider as "introverted no fun little turtle".
Mr.Wreckless
Banned
People are still comparing what happens in an apartment to a college dorm? Wow.
i see the thread is still going.
Maybe people don't realize how dorms work but neighbours will likely know who called the RA/Cops.
General, in life it is good to have good social skills and be able to build rapport with people around you. This is really insequential right now, but if OP continues to call cops when he buys his own house/apartment, or complain to the boss on coworker, etc, etc, he probably wont get far in life.
You are responsible for how you are being seen in your community. It is not anyone else's responsibility. And it great influences quality of your life and your work as well.
Once again, this is tiny bit of life and it really does not matter... however if OP proceeds to handle his "problems" in the same way, it is not going to help him advance through life.
If all of his neighbours and coworkers end up not liking him, then it is going to be his problem, not theirs.
Maybe people don't realize how dorms work but neighbours will likely know who called the RA/Cops.
General, in life it is good to have good social skills and be able to build rapport with people around you. This is really insequential right now, but if OP continues to call cops when he buys his own house/apartment, or complain to the boss on coworker, etc, etc, he probably wont get far in life.
You are responsible for how you are being seen in your community. It is not anyone else's responsibility. And it great influences quality of your life and your work as well.
Once again, this is tiny bit of life and it really does not matter... however if OP proceeds to handle his "problems" in the same way, it is not going to help him advance through life.
If all of his neighbours and coworkers end up not liking him, then it is going to be his problem, not theirs.
Zoe
Member
An RA isn't the same as the cops.
I'm not sure where you are going with this post.
Are you saying that putting on clothes and walking down a flight of steps is an unbearable burden that we cannot reasonably expect a persona to bear?
Are you saying that it is fundamentally right for person to do what is most expedient for themselves regardless of the difference in consequences to others?
Are you saying that doing the most expedient thing may not be right, but that we shouldn't be surprised when people choose it, because of human nature?
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