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[Idde]

First of all, I'm not sure this is the right place to ask. Second of all, GAF has always provided with some insight as to what to do. With those things in mind, I'd like to ask for some advice.

I'm pretty worried about a friend of mine, let's call him Pete. He is part of a circle of friends of five, back in my hometown. Pete's always been pretty quiet and laid back, but a couple of months ago he started to decline our invitations to hang out. After awhile we started to worry, so three weeks ago I contacted hem through whatsapp, to ask if there was a reason he didn't join us anymore. At first he thought I must know why it was, but after I assured him I really didn't, he opened up.

Pete said he thinks he completely misinterprets entire conversations, and what we mean. He thinks we're always making shitty remarks at his expense. He thinks someone hacked his phone at his old job. He thinks people know stuff about his past that he never told anybody. He was always a pretty smart guy, but now he can't follow a semi complicated conversation. He literally said: "I could always blindly rely on my senses, not anymore."

As an illustration: a while back Pete and another friend came to the gym I work at, and because of a misunderstanding they got into a semi fight with one of the regulars there, which I thought was hilarious. We all laughed about it. About three months ago they drove up to my gym again. In the whatsapp talk Pete said he thought the entire conversation between them during the drive was weird. When they arrived, I asked if they'd gotten into a fight yet. Pete thought I meant between them both. Like I knew something was wrong. When it was just a joke on my part. His version of what happened of much different from mine.

So during our convo he admitted something was wrong with him. He had to wait until the end of october to get some help. He'd just stay in doors, because talking to people was too much of a hassle. He didn't want to explain himself to our other mutual friends, would cost him too much energy. I asked if I could do it, because they cared as well, Pete said that was okay. I told him he was always welcome to contact me. Play some games, get some distraction.

Of course I didn't hear from him. Now, three days ago he left the groupapp. The four of us decided we'd like to send a card, but we weren't sure how he'd take it. So I asked him. Now he replied he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him. He's going to the meeting at the end of october to reassure himself that there's nothing wrong with him, but with the rest of the world. Pete said my explanation about the joke in the gym was laughable. Like I really thought he'd believe that?

We still talk, from time to time. I told him that I was willing to explain what I meant if he thought I said something weird again. He replied that he always understands what I'm saying. Which completely contradicts what he said before, that he feels he misinterprets things.

He dropped out of college five years ago. Smoked a lot of weed in the meantime. He quit his mindnumbing job two months ago. He cut us of, and we're pretty much the only friends he has.

I'm no mental health expert, but all of this sounds like schizophrenia to me. And I don't know what to do? Try to convince him that his sense of reality is not intact anymore? Try to help him in finding help sooner than the end of october? When I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to talk to me. Do I contact his mother (which he said is the only one who knows). Do I wait till october, and pray to God he listens to the expert and accepts the help he needs?

Apologies for the long text, and perhaps this should have gone into the mental health thread. But I wanted to type everything I know, and hopefully someone reads this and can give me some advice. Even if it is: go someplace else. Thanks for reading

 

[Gravy Boat]

It could be just depression or he could be bipolar. Doesn't really sound like schizophrenia tbh.

 

[Dynomutt]

Suggest they see a specialist or doctor to refer them to a specialist. That is all you can do.

 

[nintendork666]

Your friend sounds a lot like me.

He's depressed, dude.

 

[totowhoa]

Sounds like psychosis and paranoia/delusions (caused by psychosis) to me... psychosis is a symptom of schizophrenia but he doesn't necessarily have it. He could have bipolar I with psychotic features or something - who knows.

What really needs to happen is he needs to start trying to find a psychiatrist and psychologist he can visit. If he has the luxury of health insurance, he has many options and can try to find somebody he works very well with. If not, he will have to go the low income route. There are great doctors there, but fewer. Hopefully he can work well with them.

 

[Oxn]

Bi polar and/or depression. I know the feeling

 

[yanipheonu]

Yeah I'll echo the depression angle. Sound like depression to me.

If there is a schizophrenia concern, staying away from weed may be a good idea. One of weed's potential issues is exacerbating existing schizophrenia problems.

 

[low-G]

I used to be paranoid I'd be sniped through large windows...

I'd say it's depression, not necessarily schizophrenia. Depression makes you assume the worst of a great many situations.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

He's bipolar. Have fun, it's a bitch to handle.

 

[Summer Haze]

Apart from him shutting himself away from everyone else, it doesn't sound like any type of depression I've experienced, but of course there are a spectrum of symptoms.

The line about not being able to blindly rely on his senses anymore is cause for concern imo. Sounds terrifying.

 

[Idde]

Your friend sounds a lot like me.

He's depressed, dude.

Including the parts about feeling his phone was hacked? The misinterpreting of things?

Sounds like psychosis and paranoia/delusions (caused by psychosis) to me... psychosis is a symptom of schizophrenia but he doesn't necessarily have it. He could have bipolar I with psychotic features or something - who knows.

What really needs to happen is he needs to start trying to find a psychiatrist and psychologist he can visit. If he has the luxury of health insurance, he has many options and can try to find somebody he works very well with. If not, he will have to go the low income route. There are great doctors there, but fewer. Hopefully he can work well with them.

He has health insurance. I think. He's Dutch. What if he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him, but the world is messed up? (I'm not saying there's anything wrong with him) At the end of october he's supposed to see a mental health specialist. What if Pete doesn't believe him/her? He's always been a pretty stubborn guy.

 

[capitalCORN]

Talk to his family about it. they're in the best position to advice support. Bear in mind, you can't force treatment on someone until they are a danger to themselves or to others.

 

[Sylas]

He's bipolar. Have fun, it's a bitch to handle.

Not necessarily. If anything it sounds like he might be bipolar II which is defined by hypo-manic episodes instead of fullblown mania. Unless he's had delusions of grandeur, extreme lack of self-control/self-awareness, or other things you can find under the definition of mania, he isn't bipolar I. I'm diagnosed with Bipolar II and undergo paranoia and feeling like I'm being watched--along with minor delusions--but I've never been uncontrollably manic. It's not too much of a bitch to handle if you can find the right medical assistance and emotional help. Pete saying he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him could also be shame. Mental health has a huge stigma that can lead to people not getting the help they need.

 

[Jigorath]

Get him to a doctor.

Nothing else you can do.

 

[jellies_two]

I don't think that's schizophrenia
Normally the delusions are 100% real to the poor sufferer.

 

[kirblar]

He thinks we're always making shitty remarks at his expense. He thinks someone hacked his phone at his old job. He thinks people know stuff about his past that he never told anybody.

This is not normal depression. Don't know how things go, but asking if you could accompany him to the meeting (to make sure he goes) seems like something you could do that wouldn't be too intrusive.

 

[bootsthecat]

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. While what you describe are potential symptoms, it's by no means a confirmation by any stretch. Sounds like depression, and likely you are overreacting imo. Schizophrenia is like a total disconnect from reality. I'd steer him towards therapy by professionals as they are actually trained to diagnose, what else can us randoms on a message board say?

 

[capitalCORN]

I don't think that's schizophrenia
Normally the delusions are 100% real to the poor sufferer.

Not necessarily. Some can divine the difference between real and illusionary, but the illussionary can be very overbearing.

 

[n0razi]

Sounds more like depression than Schizo.. get him off the weed asap though. I'm all for marijuana legalization but he has classic symptoms of a downer pothead

 

[teh_pwn]

I had a somewhat similar friend, but not as close. Went from super social, nice and over a year became more reclusive and cold t o everyone, starting odd fights and gradually killing off social media and showing up to stuff. I assumed mental health issues.

 

[Idde]

This is not normal depression. Don't know how things go, but asking if you could accompany him to the meeting (to make sure he goes) seems like something you could do that wouldn't be too intrusive.

I'll try this. He'll probably decline, but it's worth a shot.

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. While what you describe are potential symptoms, it's by no means a confirmation by any stretch. Sounds like depression, and likely you are overreacting imo. Schizophrenia is like a total disconnect from reality. I'd steer him towards therapy by professionals as they are actually trained to diagnose, what else can us randoms on a message board say?

This is a weird thing to say, given the circumstances, but this is somewhat reassuring. He doesn't seem to be totally disconnected from reality. Could this be a progression, or is it an acute thing? And thankfully he's already (planning on) seeing a professional.

Sounds more like depression than Schizo.. get him off the weed asap though. I'm all for marijuana legalization but he has classic symptoms of a downer pothead

He said he stopped smoking weed. It helped to calm his brain down, but it also made it worse.

 

[ZZMitch]

Speaking from experience this sounds a bit different than when someone I knew got schizophrenia. It could be that it was a more serious form or something in this case.

He was my high school class president and a really chill guy, also big weed smoker funnily enough. Got into a good school and stuff after high school as well.

But he ended up dropping out after 2 years and he ended up changing his name on Facebook and started making posts about how he was like Jesus and wanted to recruit followers and stuff. It was pretty strange.

We weren't close friends or anything but I ran into him when out on the town one weekend (I am from a small city in Maine where I always see people I know everywhere) and he was pretty out of it just walking around the dancefloor by himself with headphones on a barely talking. I got him to talk to me for a bit that night and barely recognized him.

I believe his parents got him into a mental institution.. though I heard it wasn't pretty. Had to get the cops involved first or something.

 

[WedgeX]

Paranoia is not a good sign, especially as we age into our late twenties. But it can be a number of things. What is the help by the end of October? Insurance or? If he has insurance, maybe try to do some research about mental health agencies or hotline in your area, should you feel comfortable with making that recommendation. If he does not have insurance, maybe encourage him to get Medicaid if you're in the US and in a state that expanded coverage. Medicaid comes with rather robust behavioral health coverage. Good luck to you and your friend.

If it does turn out to be schizophrenia, his getting to a psychiatrist and into therapeutic services is key to less severe symptoms in the long run. Might save him from self-medication in the short-term as well.

 

[Zubz]

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. While what you describe are potential symptoms, it's by no means a confirmation by any stretch. Sounds like depression, and likely you are overreacting imo. Schizophrenia is like a total disconnect from reality. I'd steer him towards therapy by professionals as they are actually trained to diagnose, what else can us randoms on a message board say?

This is absolutely the right way to approach this; I am a mental health professional at my day job & I couldn't ethically give you a possible diagnosis based on this 2nd hand account made through the Internet (All of my online interactions are an outsider's perspective made during my personal time. They are in no way professional opinions, nor are they presented as such).

Based on what you're sharing, there could be a number of factors leading to "Pete's" behavioral changes. You're a good friend for being concerned & wanting to help him. But this is something he should address himself in the right context. He may not even identify a need to address it if you choose to bring it up to him, & he could just avoid you (People only change when they want to change, & most don't see a need).

I wish you & Pete the best, but unless he's directly presenting a risk to himself or someone else, there's little you can do, & forcing the issue could lead to blowback. You can choose to bring it up at your own discretion, but being told about one's symptoms the first time & identifying them as such usually doesn't go down too well. I know that may not be the answer you were hoping to hear, but that's all I can really say on the matter.

 

[Lord Fagan]

OP, I'm not a doctor, and it doesn't sound like you are either.

Armchair psychology is trouble, because you don't know what you're trying to diagnose, let alone the treatment. Could be multiple factors, but that's not something known for sure without time to analyze the problem and at least a little bit of their cooperation.

You're cool to observe, but you should be wary of your conclusions, and always be supportive of normalizing the concept of seeking a professional's help. A real friend really helps. They sound like the need help, so make sure you're helping them responsibly.

Best of luck, OP.

 

[totowhoa]

He has health insurance. I think. He's Dutch. What if he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him, but the world is messed up? (I'm not saying there's anything wrong with him) At the end of october he's supposed to see a mental health specialist. What if Pete doesn't believe him/her? He's always been a pretty stubborn guy.

Nothing you can do except encourage him to do it, let him know you're always happy to talk or hang out or assist in other ways. But if he gets worse and refuses to seek help, its completely out of your hands. Even if it gets to the point where the friendship is dying off due to this awful stuff, just make sure he knows that you're always there to be a resource for him if he ever does feel like he needs help (assuming you're really ok with that - and it's clear you are right now).

 

[Deuce Deuce]

You and your friends are pretty stand up people to look out for your bud like that.

Getting in touch with his family might be a good move to consider.

 

[Idde]

This is absolutely the right way to approach this; I am a mental health professional at my day job & I couldn't ethically give you a possible diagnosis based on this 2nd hand account made through the Internet (All of my online interactions are an outsider's perspective made during my personal time. They are in no way professional opinions, nor are they presented as such).

Based on what you're sharing, there could be a number of factors leading to "Pete's" behavioral changes. You're a good friend for being concerned & wanting to help him. But this is something he should address himself in the right context. He may not even identify a need to address it if you choose to bring it up to him, & he could just avoid you (People only change when they want to change, & most don't see a need).

I wish you & Pete the best, but unless he's directly presenting a risk to himself or someone else, there's little you can do, & forcing the issue could lead to blowback. You can choose to bring it up at your own discretion, but being told about one's symptoms the first time & identifying them as such usually doesn't go down too well. I know that may not be the answer you were hoping to hear, but that's all I can really say on the matter.

No, this is really helpful, thanks Just like the rest of the replies. Knowing that it can be a couple of different things, and not per se the worst case scenario (schizophrenia, in my mind) makes it a bit easier.

I moslty wanted to know if I should kick his door down to drag him off to get help. If the situation was severe enough for that. Or if there's anything else I can, or should do. And it sucks, but I guess I can't. And it'll be two more months, but at least he's seeing someone for his problems, and aware that somethings not right. I just checked, and he worded it as 'some kind of nurse, in direct contact with a psychiatrist." So I'll just let him be for now, remind him he can talk to me anytime he wants, and wish him good luck with the appointment at the end of october.

For everybody who replied, it's been really helpful. Thank you.

 

[shawnbuddy]

It's kind of fucked up, but sometimes they make you wait a long time for mental health services. I had to wait form January to Maly to tak to someone about my suicidal depression and that's even after having a violent outburst at work. During this period of waiting for treatment I came very close to killing myself several times. You may have to try to talk your friend into hospitalizing himself if you think he's in danger.