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[White Man]

I love to do it, and I primarily do it for myself, but over the past two weeks I've just been getting so frustrated. It doesn't have to do with a lack of ideas or any particular difficulties coming up with material. Those aren't problems at all. I typically put out 15-20 pages of text a day, whether I work my job or not, and a lot of it is usually useful.

I'm just frustrated because at this point it's becoming increasingly clear that I will never reach an audience and will likely never even get published. I lack the connections I would've developed in college, via classmates going on to work in publishing and profs that know people that could help me out. Like any other art, it's a popularity contest, and a weasely 23 year old that can barely talk to his friends isn't going to make it far on his own.

I guess I just have to do it for myself. I just hate the thought that the thing I love above all else will never have a major opportunity to reach or help people out. I truly believe I've got interesting things to say; it's getting anyone to pay attention that is the hard part.

I see all the Saturday nights I've wasted sitting around writing outlines and sketching things out, and I wonder whether it's worth it. Yeah, I enjoy doing it, but I've enjoyed a lot of things that were detrimental to my development. At the point I'm at, I'm wondering if I should just hang up the notebooks, I guess. What's the point? With this week's news concerning funding, it's increasingly unlikely I'll get back to school. I don't think there's any opportunity in the cards. I just don't know the people I need to know.

 

[DaCocoBrova]

So you're basically giving up...

Not cool. Stick with it, develop time-sensitive goals.


But don't ever give up.

 

[DarkAngyl]

I’ve been going through the same thing lately. Of course working two jobs and having no free time might have something to do with it.

I’ve had a few minor successes, but nothing that I’ve published is ever going to reach any further than the few diehards that read the little mags I’ve been published in. With my work schedule, life stress and just general exhaustion I’ve lost the desire and with that the confidence to even sit down at the keyboard anymore.

So I can understand, but also realize that this feeling will pass. Writing isn’t just something that you do, it’s part of who you are. Don’t worry about publishing connections, you can build your own if your writing is good. Just from what I’ve seen you post here I bet your actual writing is fantastic. The crème does rise to the top, but you gotta get it out there to let it float above the rest of the flotsam.

 

[Dilbert]

Do you already have a subscription to Poets & Writers magazine?

 

[sprsk]

I love to do it, and I primarily do it for myself, but over the past two weeks I've just been getting so frustrated. It doesn't have to do with a lack of ideas or any particular difficulties coming up with material. Those aren't problems at all. I typically put out 15-20 pages of text a day, whether I work my job or not, and a lot of it is usually useful.

I'm just frustrated because at this point it's becoming increasingly clear that I will never reach an audience and will likely never even get published. I lack the connections I would've developed in college, via classmates going on to work in publishing and profs that know people that could help me out. Like any other art, it's a popularity contest, and a weasely 23 year old that can barely talk to his friends isn't going to make it far on his own.

I guess I just have to do it for myself. I just hate the thought that the thing I love above all else will never have a major opportunity to reach or help people out. I truly believe I've got interesting things to say; it's getting anyone to pay attention that is the hard part.

I see all the Saturday nights I've wasted sitting around writing outlines and sketching things out, and I wonder whether it's worth it. Yeah, I enjoy doing it, but I've enjoyed a lot of things that were detrimental to my development. At the point I'm at, I'm wondering if I should just hang up the notebooks, I guess. What's the point? With this week's news concerning funding, it's increasingly unlikely I'll get back to school. I don't think there's any opportunity in the cards. I just don't know the people I need to know.

I feel your pain.

 

[Mercury Fred]

I'm just frustrated because at this point it's becoming increasingly clear that I will never reach an audience and will likely never even get published.

You really don't know that at this point. In fact, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of this.

I lack the connections I would've developed in college, via classmates going on to work in publishing and profs that know people that could help me out. Like any other art, it's a popularity contest, and a weasely 23 year old that can barely talk to his friends isn't going to make it far on his own.

College is not the only way to make connections. Have you gone to any readings in your city? Open mic nights? Public workshops? Doesn't Chuck Fight Club what's his name live in your city? I think he's active (though I'm not sure in what capacity) in cultivating new writers.

When I was still living in Ohio, I started reading at an open mic night and it was great for me and for my work. I met other writers, got feedback and *ding ding ding* made connections.

Also, shake off that "weasly 23 year old" perception of yourself that you're obviously very invested in. It's not doing you any favors. Go make some new friends. Get a boyfreind or fuckbuddy or just get laid. You love Rimbaud, you should know that sex and creativity have a relationship to one another.

I just hate the thought that the thing I love above all else will never have a major opportunity to reach or help people out. I truly believe I've got interesting things to say; it's getting anyone to pay attention that is the hard part.

Dude, you're only 23. Some people get published before that, some much, much later in their lives. If you want to be sure that you won't get published, then by all means, give up now.

At the point I'm at, I'm wondering if I should just hang up the notebooks, I guess. What's the point?

The point is that you have something to say and you claim that expressing it is essential to your being. If you give up now, it will always fester inside of you that you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. In effect, you will be a weasley 23 year old forever.

With this week's news concerning funding, it's increasingly unlikely I'll get back to school. I don't think there's any opportunity in the cards.

Get a job with tuition reimbursement (doesn't Starbucks do this?), get student loans, find a mentor, turn tricks (only half kiddding here--after living in NYC for a bit, I'm amazed at the number of guys who have this in their pasts), take one class at a time. Write so well that you get a scholarship.

I just don't know the people I need to know.

A self-fulfilling prophecy. Who are these mysterious people who will magically give you purpose and put your writing in print? If your writing sucks, the only way you'll get published is if you're a pop star or celebrity spawn. Get out there and start hustling some connections. Do you have a gay neighborhood? Yeah? Good. Get a job as a barista there. Charm everyone with your musical taste, wit, colorful past and keep them guessing. Stick to your guns on aesthetics, politics, etc. Not only will you meet people, but you'll develop your social skills, make friends and most likely develop a fan base whether you want one or not.

My first writing gigs came out of connections I made from working at a cafe like I just described. Now, I've been published in national and international magazines, had poems anthologized, gotten ever so close to selling a TV pitch in LA, curated a well respected gay reading series in NYC, and I'm still working on getting other stuff published. I even DJ all over town becasue of my music writing.

I bring all of this stuff up not to gloat, but to lay out plainly that one step leads to the next. Get off your ass and get into the scary world. You did yourself a big favor by moving to a new city. Don't waste the opportunity you made for yourself.

[/tough love rant]

 

[border]

But being a writer is such a great excuse for being a drinker! *hic*

The crème does rise to the top, but you gotta get it out there to let it float above the rest of the flotsam.

Mixed metaphor. No wonder you're not getting published

 

[N Coward Parody]

Dude, fiction at least has an audience.

I'm an aspiring playwright. A playwright. Talk about a tight market. I'd like to see most people on this board name five living.

Anyway, I'd say tell the little nig-nag in your head to shut the fuck up. It's solely destructive, and often irrational. I'm sure you understand that intellectually, but (in my experience) it takes time to reconcile with it emotionally. What you have to say is important. No matter what you tell yourself.

Also, I've worked as a literary manager-type at one of the biggest new play development theatres in the country, so I have read LOTS of scripts; and let me tell you -- most of it is absolute shlock. I'm guessing the quality of work submitted to most fiction houses is similar. Seriously, if you ever got the chance to actually see what other people are writing (not necessarily that which is published) I guarantee you would feel emboldened.

And, hell, I'm 23, and I was just published in a major anthology. I'm no literary genius. The big fancy playwright editing the book just happened to love my play. You never know who's going to love your work if you don't send it out into the world. That's seriously 80% of getting published -- just fucking sending it out.

And, dude, fuck the funding. Go back to school. You'll make it work. I'm right about to submit my applications for my MFA: because I want to and I need to and no dip shit in Washington is going to keep me from growing as an artist.

The bottom line: You have a unique perspective that demands to be heard. It's a cold world out there for writers. Find a community. Stick with your people. Tell that vermine in your brain to can it. And kick some ass.



*Noel Coward Parody

 

[DarkAngyl]

But being a writer is such a great excuse for being a drinker! *hic*
Mixed metaphor. No wonder you're not getting published

Doh! That's what I've been doing wrong!

 

[Mercury Fred]

I'd like to see most people on this board name five living.

Ahem,
Sam Shepherd
Edward Albee
Tony Kushner
Neil LaBute
Caryl Churchill



That's great that you're a playwright. Where are you based?

Oh, and good advice to Mr. White Man.

 

[border]

I always thought Edward Albee was dead....then he was on NPR a little while ago. Weird.

Tom Stoppard - Arthur Miller (another "I thought he was dead") - Suzan Lori-Parks - Heiner Muller - Griselda Gambaro

Plays are fun to read. Too bad actors always show up in dramatic lit classes and ruin everything with their obnoxious thespian airs.

 

[N Coward Parody]

1) I agree 100% with Mercury Fred's post. A nice bit of tough love.

Sam Shepherd
Edward Albee
Tony Kushner
Neil LaBute
Caryl Churchill

2) Well done, but you don't count. Ha.

3) I'm a California playwright, but have spent the last couple of years in the Midwest. I'm currently in Milwaukee (AH!) since my girlfriend's doing this directing gig at the local regional. But next year I'll hopefully be at Brown, UCSD, or UT Austin...

4) White Man: I think it's also important to keep youself in the "DOES" category instead of the "DOESN'T." Not to be insulting (okay, maybe a little insulting), but most peopel that frequent these boards seem to fall into the latter. They'd rather construct diatribes about their plight, or bloviate about their genius, or whatever, instead of going out and FUCKING DOING IT. Fact: most people who are active artists don't have time to dilly dally on a message board. There are exceptions, and I recognize the hypocrisy in such a statement, but Lord knows if I weren't in grad school application perguatory I'd barely spend time here outside of perhaps the spare half hour or two of brainless unwinding time. Anyway, there's an extra $0.02...


*Noel Coward Parody

 

[Fifty]

A playwright...jeez, if you haven't given up, then White man has no reason to. Good luck with that, it's one type of writing I'd never want to get into. I'll also add that Mercury Fred's post is spot on.

 

[White Man]

Thanks for all the advice, guys. I'll take it all into account. I've just had a very long day at work and tomorrow's not going to be pomegranates and champagne either. . .I have to be there just in time for sunrise, 6AM.

I think I just need to make some changes, namely about my job situation, which has sent my morale spiraling. I'm still better than I've been in years, no doubt. I think Decembers may just always be difficult for me from now on.

And how the hell do you find a mentor?

And I love Rimbaud, yes, but by the time he was my age he had retired from writing in order to trade slaves and guns in Africa.

 

[fart]

good. fuck writing.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Give up. Your time on this rock is limited. Go do something you like. Giving up is awesome.

 

[belgurdo]

Hey, at least you actually DO write something. I'm an English major about a semester from graduating, and I have almost nothing personally written, only reports and crud that I'm forced to write for a grade.

With you, writing 20+ pages a day shows that you have SOME drive at the least, and not being able to find connections is easily remedied (get a Writer's Guide and send a manuscript to literally everyone in it, Kinko's your book and slip it in racks at bookstores with your address on the front, sleep with librarians, etc.) So don't just give up

 

[Manabanana]

You know, don't underestimate getting a website up and building a fanbase. I know a good handful of artists that get some pretty major jobs by just being big in the online community.

 

[GG-Duo]

the GAF supports you

*holds up lighter*

 

[Sirpopopop]

Use the GAF.

Make a website, and talk with the mods about maybe allowing you to make a post announcing the opening of the site.

If it's good, word of mouth can travel far.

Sometimes you've got to use to unconvential means to be heard.

 

[White Man]

I have problems with personal social interaction. It's been this way for a few years. I stutter and can't think clearly when I have to talk with other people. I'm always nervous. This is why I'm also primarily uninterested in relationships. I think this is also detrimental to making connections and such. I really have problems talking to other people, in person. I could be clear and eloquent in writing, but when it comes to talking, I'm scatterbrained.

 

[fart]

hey WM, help me come up with gynecological punk rock band names

here's what i've got so far

fork and forceps (my favorite)
the hormone replacements
rock vs wade
the aortic misfits
the minutemen (rdrr)
RU-386 (electro)

RIVERS OF BLOOD, GUYS

 

[White Man]

My choice to be homosexual prevents me from understanding the nature of this. . .gyniocology. I could only assume it's some sort of school of thought or study.

(but seriosuly, I didn't get a few of those jokes. Jesus)

EDIT: (wait, nevermind. Got it. The RU one threw me off)

 

[fart]

i wish i could say i came up with the birth control blues, but apparently that was a real band name.

 

[border]

A-HA! It is a choice!

BTW, did you give up on Tales of Depravity? Or just taking a breather?

 

[White Man]

A-HA! It is a choice!

I was waiting to see if someone caught that.

BTW, did you give up on Tales of Depravity? Or just taking a breather?

The final tale was really too difficult to tell without it sounding like a bipolar livejournal entry. I just kind of put it aside. It's not really that amusing, and if anything, it would make people think negatively about me.

Maybe someday. . .but this is my LJ hissy-fit for this week.

 

[MrAngryFace]

People need to think negatively of you. That gives you power!

 

[Manabanana]

People need to think negatively of you. That gives you power!

And a t-shirt with your avatar on it, apparently. Poooooost it!

 

[XS+]

If you're talented, you will make it. Differentiate yourself from the rest with a style of your devising.

 

[Xenon]

White Man consider your self lucky. You have a passion and a talent for it. I would love to be able to put my ideas down on paper. But the part of my brain that translates ideas to words seems to be related to Animal from the Muppets. =\ I’m sure anyone who has read my posts would agree.[I’m not looking for responses =P] If your problem is with getting published, why stop writing? A creative guy like you should be able to come up with more than just a few ways to break into the biz. You're young and you are single. Like Mercury said you may end up regretting this later. By then you may have settled in with some chic and have a nice comfy job. Shit maybe even a kid. Most of your creative thoughts then will go into how to prevent the little fuk from destroying everything in your home. I see no reason to give up now.




Lip Service ?? ehhh to obvious

 

[etiolate]

It sounds like you hate social interaction, but try joining a writing group. Writing just for finacial means doesn't seem like much an inspiration. There must be a reason you write, the fire</cliche> that you can rekindle.

 

[Musashi Wins!]

I have problems with personal social interaction. It's been this way for a few years. I stutter and can't think clearly when I have to talk with other people. I'm always nervous. This is why I'm also primarily uninterested in relationships. I think this is also detrimental to making connections and such. I really have problems talking to other people, in person. I could be clear and eloquent in writing, but when it comes to talking, I'm scatterbrained.

As you may or may not know, such complaints are terribly common among artists. There's even a theory or two that would attribute massive and well-honed artistic endeavors all for the sake of allowing a window into the more capable, intelligent, witty soul of their creator. It could all be bosh of course. Regardless, that inner you will well up without occasional release and you will either create despite yourself, become a slave/rum runner or paint your brains all over a tenement wall. Perhaps all three! There's time, there's time yet.