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[Soulflarz]

thank you :')

 

[Orbis Tabula]

Well, I'm sold. I just bought two tickets. Thanks Lionel!

HE'S SURELY ALIVE

 

[Maxxan]

I actually saw the first film because of Mandrake's thread, but I'm staying away from this one. Great thread though!

 

[Kid Ska]

Thank you Mr. Mandrake, that was excellent. You've done your forum a great service today.

 

[johnny956]

It's a gray area for me. I'm definitely not convinced by Christianity anymore, but I wouldn't say I'm completely removed from it. I'm more like an agnostic still in a bit of denial.

Yea based on your comments about this I feel like we've gone through the same things. Seeing your reviews of these awful movies helps me get over the crap I went through as a kid (Jesus Camp...yea I went to those as a kid)

 

[DrSlek]

 

[Monocle]

Just finished. Lionel delivered again.

My late grandfather was friends with Pat Boone.

That's terrible, did he recover?

 

[Shmuppers]

I got dragged to a Newsboys concert once and hated it. All the girls there were such prudes.

 

[StMeph]

Thank you for watching these so I don't have to.

 

[Blobbers]

Youthful Lawyer asks if he can treat her as a hostile witness, and Ernie Hudson, like usual, doesn't give a fuck,

This exact line is where I lost it

 

[ryseing]

You know what would be cool? If the converted foreigner hooks up with the white lead.

Imagine if Martin and Sabrina got together, or the Muslim girl from the first one and the Christian philosophy student.

Spoiler

By hook up, I mean become bf/gf with the implication that they marry

The audience this is aimed at likes to keep the races separate.

 

[Kemal86]

Yea based on your comments about this I feel like we've gone through the same things. Seeing your reviews of these awful movies helps me get over the crap I went through as a kid (Jesus Camp...yea I went to those as a kid)

I went to Jesus Camp three times as a kid. 1998-2000. I think it set back my development by 5 years.

 

[Shadow Hog]

Oddly, for as out-of-touch as this film is, nothing in the write-up really jumped out at me as as grossly out-of-touch with how people would act in reality as the first film's "pastor converting lying-on-the-ground-bleeding Kevin Sorbo instead of calling an ambulance" bit.

 

[Deleted member 125677]

OMG spoiiuuulerz!

 

[LurkerPrime]

Great stuff, Mandrake. Thanks for braving the Light long enough to compile this report.

The texts got me the most. Those bottom replies...

 

[Littlefang]

Okay so I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of this movie, but the defense calling the defendant up as a hostile witness is just too much for me to handle.

 

[Misha]

I just put two and two together and realized the reason why my one friend was using "god is not dead" as a texting signature awhile ago was because of the first one of these. I thought he was just being passive aggressive to another friend coming out as trans.

 

[TimeEffect]

What's next for the sequel?

How about, a young impressionable kid converts to Islam or Satanism?

Or how about an American soldier getting trapped in the middle east, and manages to empower minority Christians from the Islamic State, and also wins over from Muslims (by using pacifist Christian methods). There's a montage of him (re)building a Church at some point.

Or maybe they go back to the classroom, where Yoga is being taught to children. Basically, in order to pass gym class (and make the football team next year), a young kid has to pass Yoga class. But this conflicts with his Western Christian values

 

[Vampirolol]

You always deliver.

 

[jack_package_200]

What's next for the sequel?

How about, a young impressionable kid converts to Islam or Satanism?

Or how about an American soldier getting trapped in the middle east, and manages to empower minority Christians from the Islamic State, and also wins over from Muslims (by using pacifist Christian methods). There's a montage of him (re)building a Church at some point.

Or maybe they go back to the classroom, where Yoga is being taught to children. Basically, in order to pass gym class (and make the football team next year), a young kid has to pass Yoga class. But this conflicts with his Western Christian values

This I could see.

Nah God's Not Dead 3 will be about Reverend Dave and his sermons.

I am still horrified that Pure Flix is doing a fucking Columbine movie.

 

[Sushi Nao]

Great stuff, Mandrake. Thanks for braving the Light long enough to compile this report.

The texts got me the most. Those bottom replies...

Ohh my god, I had missed it on the second one. Killed me.

Legendary thread.

 

[Toothless]

That was incredible. Bravo Lionel. You're an inspiration to us all.

 

[Steel]

Read the whole thing. That Christian persecution complex is amazing.

Oh, and those texts had me giggling.

What's next for the sequel?

How about, a young impressionable kid converts to Islam or Satanism?

Or how about an American soldier getting trapped in the middle east, and manages to empower minority Christians from the Islamic State, and also wins over from Muslims (by using pacifist Christian methods). There's a montage of him (re)building a Church at some point.

Or maybe they go back to the classroom, where Yoga is being taught to children. Basically, in order to pass gym class (and make the football team next year), a young kid has to pass Yoga class. But this conflicts with his Western Christian values

It'll probably involve a pray-the-gay-away conversion.

 

[Dan]

I am ROARING LIKE A LION after reading that.

Can't wait to watch this with a couple friends over beers in a couple months like we did the first.

Sounds like this one really dives into some wacky bigger picture persecution complex material with wild leaps of illogic.

 

[Beelzeboss]

I have co-workers that loved the first movie and they were trying to get everyone to see it. Thankfully Lionel Mandrake's review saved me from getting a DVD as a gift. I can only pray this works again.

Thank you for your service Lionel Mandrake

 

[Androidsleeps]

Worth the wait.

 

[Nomadic Sparks]

This is some amazing shit

 

[Speevy]

God's Not Dead 3 will be about that lady who was removed from the court office for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couple.

Yes, The Newsboys will pray the gay away.

 

[Ashodin]

the texts are what makes this amazing

 

[nynt9]

To quote myself from the other thread:

I saw this piece of shit last night and it was physically painful.

In a scene where they're trying to prove Jesus exists in a court of law: "we cannot refuse the consensus of the scientific community"

Surely they'll show the same respect to the consensus of the scientific community when it comes to evolution and climate change then?

At the end of the movie it told us to text our friends "God's not dead, He's surely alive" then showed this:

 

[Arkos]

Mandrake Air:
Your Co-Pilot is Not Dead

Let's merchandise this

 

[PJV3]

I just don't get this stuff, didn't the first film make a shitload of cash?

 

[ibyea]

Lionel Mandrake, Thank you for sacrificing your body for the good of mankind.

 

[Trojita]

Lionel, you omitted one crucial part of the movie.

The antagonist devil lawyer is from the ACLU. These "persecuted" Christians are trying to make the fucking American Civil Liberty Union into the bad guys.

 

[blackjaw]

Delivered, a hearty chuckle was had by this heathen

 

[ReAxion]

The "text your friends" at the end is the new "Please Clap"

 

[ImpalingNarwhal]

Well, this made me laugh aloud during class. Another stellar review.

 

[Trojita]

Because I am curious, was there actually a scene in the movie where they whisper "Duck Dynasty" to each other to make sure they are with likeminded friends?

 

[Magnetic_North]

Lionel is there a post credits scene involving Samuel L Jackson setting up the Diciples initiative? Ft The Newsboys?!

 

[Aselith]

Yo Lionel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRGndldqxlQ&feature=player_detailpage#t=3

 

[DrunkShogun]

Great job by Lionel. Such an entertaining post about the film.

 

[yanipheonu]

Say what you want, this movie is apparently a perfect portrayal of the irrational fears of some conservative Christians in America.

They should really take an English course in, yknow, compelling and logical arguments though.

 

[brianmcdoogle]

The third one, if there is a third movie, will probably be about a politician or will deal more with legislature, don't you think? Isn't that the next step?

 

[Apple Turnover]

Those text messages were amazing, lol. May Ray Wise bless you for your exemplary review, and may he provide you the strength for the inevitable God's Not Dead 3

 

[lazygecko]

Wait, President Dugan is in this movie? I guess he doesn't give a wooden nickel about christianity.

 

[Premium Quality]

Awesome review LM! Really like your humor.
I should go back and check out the other reviews.

 

[echoshifting]

Spoiler

look you fucking bitch

i'm dying here, somebody save my soul, quick

 

[mclem]

Pinocchio, before you drown with face planted in a puddle of water...

do you believe in Jesus?

To be fair, lying would save his life. Which sounds like the sort of exciting moral dilemma that's the lynchpin of this sort of film.

 

[ItIsOkBro]

Youthful Lawyer asks if he can treat her as a hostile witness, and Ernie Hudson, like usual, doesn't give a fuck, and then Youthful Lawyer goes off. He asks Sabrina if she still believes in God, if she would ever not believe in God, and stuff like that. He asks super aggressively and typically doesn't let her finish answering. He is eventually screaming at her until she's crying. "What was that story you told me? About that church sign?!"

"That was private. Why are you doing this?!"

He doesn't let up. "How could anyone believe that?! How could we let this woman teach in our schools?! How can we allow people like this to work in our governments?! And why stop there?!"

Wait wait why is Youthful Lawyer tearing his own client a new one?

 

[xxracerxx]

The third one, if there is a third movie, will probably be about a politician or will deal more with legislature, don't you think? Isn't that the next step?

I like to believe the third one will be about the war on Christmas.

edit: I guess maybe that will have to be a spinoff film.