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If Die Hard can be a Christmas movie, so can The Long Kiss Goodnight

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Escape Goat

Escape Goat

Member
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Starring the wonderful Gina Davis of In a League of Their Own fame.

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And the bombastic Sam Jackson of too many movies to list.

"I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest."

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My favorite line in that movie is when Charlie and her daughter are locked in the freezer and Charlie has used gasoline to blow the door:

Caitlin Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die?

Charlie: Oh, no, baby, no. You're not going to die. They are. *drops the match*



Or maybe this one:
Mitch Henessey: [singing] Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.

Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see.

Mitch Henessey: Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?

Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter?
 
F

Fury451

Banned
I saw this when I was like 11, and Geena Davis cutting and dying her hair in this movie was the first time that I recall thinking something was "hot".
 
S

SwiftDeath

Member
Escape Goat said:
I have decided. The Long Kiss Goodnight is a Christmas movie. Fight me if you will.
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I got you fam

Per what I'm pretty sure is a full script of the movie, there are 26 mentions of Christmas

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Long-Kiss-Goodnight,-The.html

CHILDREN, dozens of them, bursting from houses. Slapping of
screen doors. A HORSE-DRIVEN SLEIGH is rattling down Main
Street. Flanked by kids. Christmas carols, droning from
loudspeakers.

HAPPY, LAUGHING SANTA waves howdy, chortling his "Ho's" in
groups of three, meanwhile he's really a grizzled old fire
marshall named EARL, freezing his nuts off.

Beside him sits MRS. CLAUS, about whom we notice two things:
First, she's the June in this June/December pair -- and
second, she's to kill for, an effortlessly beautiful woman.
For the record, meet SAMANTHA CAINE.
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SAMANTHA
Hal, I gotta tell you, of all the
Christmas pageants I've seen, this
was by far the most recent.

HAL
Aw, honey, I had teenage girls playing
the wise men, what'd you expect?

SAMANTHA
Teenage boys?

HAL
Well, I thought they did fine.

SAMANTHA
Just fine? Come on, it was ground
breaking stuff. The first Nativity
where Joseph stares at the wise men's
tits all night.
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NEWS ANCHOR (ON T.V.)
...So much for the flame-swallowing
Santa of Boone County. Meanwhile,
KTVA news journeyed to Upper Sandusky,
where Santa's own *Mrs*. Kringle
turned out to celebrate her hubby's
worldwide tour. After one look at
her, I'm thinking Santa got what he
wanted this Christmas.
Click to expand...
Elsewhere. Tract housing, late-model cars. MITCH HENESSEY
delivers a Christmas gift to his nine year-old son TODD: not
just any gift, the *Midtown Saturn Orbiting Precinct*, with
action figures. Henessey points to the box, engrossed:

HENESSEY
...and here's the jail here, see...?
Escape chute for the Borian, he's a
dinosaur guy, Moves quick, don't
take no shit neither. See, you can
make him shoot the guard -- ah, hell,
look, I played with it a little
myself, I'm sorry.
Click to expand...

I can keep going
 
G

Garmonbozia

Member
I watched it for the first time this year, pretty fun action movie.

I wish Geena Davis hadn't disappeared for all these years.

Brazil is the best Christmas movie.
 
D

Deleted member 284

Unconfirmed Member
Escape Goat said:
It was the hair cutting that did it for you? What happened when you got to this part?

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Didn't she come up psycho/badass and promising to kill dude, during the second turn of the water wheel?
 
D

Deleted member 284

Unconfirmed Member
Oh and yes, this absolutely was a Christmas movie. I mean, both of the protagonists get really great gifts at the end.
 
B

Budi

Member
Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku! said:
Is lethal weapon a Christmas movie then?

Does this make Shane black the greatest chistmas movie director of all time?
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You probably knew this, but still I'd like to point out that Renny Harlin directed Long Kiss Goodnight. Had to mention it since he is from same city as me! Though he isn't very good director imo, so maybe I shouldn't be proud of it.
 
C

CaviarMeths

Member
Budi said:
You probably knew this, but still I'd like to point out that Renny Harlin directed Long Kiss Goodnight. Had to mention it since he is from same city as me! Though he isn't very good director imo, so maybe I shouldn't be proud of it.
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Usually refer to Shane Black as a writer when talking about his filmography. he's been writing films for almost 20 years longer than he's been directing them. He's written 5 movies set at Christmas.
 
Man with Knife

Man with Knife

Member
Budi said:
You probably knew this, but still I'd like to point out that Renny Harlin directed Long Kiss Goodnight. Had to mention it since he is from same city as me! Though he isn't very good director imo, so maybe I shouldn't be proud of it.
Click to expand...

He directed two of the best action movies of the 90s (Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger)

Seems like a cool guy too, here's an interesting Q&A:

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1ofqqj/hey_guys_director_renny_harlin_here_die_hard_2/

I like the dry humor of the fins
 
I

Inceptional

Member
Damn right it can!

My personal top 5 Christmas movies:

1.Die Hard
2.I Come In Peace(Dark Angel)
3.In Bruges
4.The Ref
5.Lethal Weapon

TLKG is a good pick too and am surprised I never though of it myself, especially considering it's written by Shane Black.

But how can't you're favorite lines be Geena saying"Die screaming Motherfucker!" and "Suck my dick motherfuckers!"?
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Is this that movie where samuel l jackson says "It's a duck not a dick!" ?
 
S

ScraftyDevil

Banned
My favourite part of this movie is when assassins break into Gina Davis' house and she just chucks her daughter through a hole to safety like a goddamn caber toss.

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It's literally impossible for me to watch this without laughing hysterically.
 
N

Ninhead

Member
Inceptional said:
Damn right it can!

My personal top 5 Christmas movies:

1.Die Hard
2.I Come In Peace(Dark Angel)
3.In Bruges
4.The Ref
5.Lethal Weapon

TLKG is a good pick too and am surprised I never though of it myself, especially considering it's written by Shane Black.

But how can't you're favorite lines be Geena saying"Die screaming Motherfucker!" and "Suck my dick motherfuckers!"?
Click to expand...

You forgot "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"! That's peak Black!
 
L

Lord Fagan

Junior Member
WedgeX said:
I see zero Christmas quotes such as "now I have a machine gun ho ho ho."

Please provide proof.
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I'm spoiler tagging this because this film is top tier with its quips, man. People who haven't seen it yet really should treat themselves to a real winner this Christmas, because it is a legit Christmas film that can sit at Die Hard's table.

When and sedating kidnapping his own daughter during a Christmas pageant at church, the film's villain, Timothy, pulls a switch blade on a frightened woman with a group of young kids, and without a skipping a beat says, "You're about to have 2.4 children." When she shudders and shakes her head silently, he warmly smiles with his daughter slung over his shoulder and whispers, "Merry Christmas," as he slips away.
 
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