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June UltraViolent Wrasslin' |OT| This is Small Potatoes!

A

Alucard

Banned
PVRing this right now. Happy that I'll get to watch Owens right away. His promo on Smackdown last week was excellent. Talked about ending the corruption of young minds by Cena. Is he doing that tonight too?
 
E

ed_fusion

Banned
Nocturnowl said:
Tournament of Death IX Part 2
(Part 1 here)

Dysfunction vs Scotty Vortekz - Thumbtack Kickpads & Panes of Glass Deathmatch

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Dysfunction reminds of a bit of some edgy teen's create a wrestler that’s gained a few pounds and has seen better days, even the ring name matches that theory of mine. The referee sweeps out the remains of glass to make way for the panes of glass that will litter the mat shortly, he could probably have saved himself the effort.
Scotty enters the ring but before he can even pose for the fans Dysfunction goes on the attack, after a few woooo garnering back and forth chops Vortekz (sod it, I’m just calling him Scotty from now on) runs straight into an overhead Belly to Belly suplex into a glass pane.
Unfortunately for us viewers they must’ve ordered that glass from the same place Japanese wrestling gets its tables because that pane is made of sturdy stuff. Dysfunction is having none of that and improvises by powerbombing Scotty through the glass and this time it dramatically shatters (with a nice camera shot at that) sprinkling debris all over the place, safe to say there was a world of difference with this impact and with that the briefly glass free ring is back to having an extra layer of sharp shards.

At this point I now realize why there’s a thumbtack kickpad stipulation as Dysfunction is in fact bleeding a bit from his forehead from Scotty having booted him in the head a few minutes prior, well now I know why the audience were popping for what I thought were simply kicks, good to know the commentary team have my uniformed back.
Dysfunction brings in some chairs but ends up having his irish whip countered causing his head to meet the very chair he set up in the corner.

Our Skinny Scotty starts setting up a contraption that effectively has a pane of glass laid out like a wooden table with the aid of two steel chairs as its legs so to speak with Dysfunction trapped below it. I was quick to assume this was another high flying move that would look more painful to the jumper but Scotty swerves me by doing a double knee drop through the glass that’s executed in such a way that he springs nicely off Dysfunction’s gut and comes off looking damage free, meanwhile Dysfunction convulses from the shattering impact.
While Dysfunction bleeds out in the corner Scotty sets up another “glass table” but runs into the Indy special that is a good old superkick, Dysfunction hoists Scotty up into an electric chair drop position and just hurls the poor bastard forward with an Electric Chair Driver through the table of pane (geddit? Pane? Pain?...I’m not sorry!), anyway, yowch! Good thing the ref has gloves on because there’s barely a clean area of canvas to count on right now.

Dysfunction sets up yet another glass table with the aid of the ref for some reason (impartial my arse!) , just when I think this can’t get any crazier a back and forth on the turnbuckle leads Scotty to perform “Blue Moon Dragon” (basically a “C4”) from the top rope through the glass, sweet merciful crap that was brutal and it rightfully gets a three count.
So that was basically a series of glass pane spots but for what it’s worth it was suitably smashing.


MASADA vs Devon Moore - Fans Bring the Weapons Deathmatch

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Introduced as Masada vs ????? but the mystery is already spoilt for me, well except I have no idea who Devon Moore is so I guess ????? still applies.
Masada is accompanied by the same gloomy meth man who appeared in the opening match, must have a manager shortage around here.
The “notorious” Devon Moore rides out on a lawnmower, shades of the Mexicools right there.
At this point I find out that I’ve been screwed out of witnessing the one and only Zandig who was supposed to be here and deep down I’m actually kinda sad, Moore will have to kill himself for my amusement to make amends.
The match gets underway and not much happens until Moore planchas over the top, too perfectly in fact in that he sails just over Masada but at least it’s a clean landing.
Masada hits a most pitiful chair shot to the head of Moore eliciting a negative response from the audience who came to see some gosh darn cranium cratering concussions, seriously WWE chairs to the ribs and back look and sound more effective. He follows up with equally as shoddy trash can lid shots but in any case Moore is busted open, I don’t expect blading from CZW, I expect the hard way and I’m not sure I got the hard way so boooo.

The actions spills to the outside, well we are already outside in a field but I mean to the commentary tables. Moore staggers into a propped up board thus falling off the elevated table area and assumedly cocking up a potential spot, following this said board is laid out table style as they tease suplexing each other through it only to botch that as well as the board keeps coming loose, this is a hot mess that eventually results in a brainbuster on the grass by Masada.
The fans are craving some Zandig and they aren’t shy about letting the performers know it, time for drastic action as Masada grabs a windshield and sets it up on a ladder. Before he can fulfill he nefarious powerbomb plan Moore finally counters and hits the most extreme of moves, a monkey flip onto the windshield which probably just softens the impact of hitting the ladder anyway.
And the fans go wild chanting for…Zandig, yeah Moore you ain’t getting over here.
Moore hits a shooting star press off the elevated commentary area, apparently its falls count anywhere as he gets a two count.

Back to the ring and Moore draws blood slamming Masada’s head repeatedly into the remains of the windshield. Not to be one upped Masada pulls things back by getting a handful of sharp pointy sticks and straight up jamming them into Moore’s head, it’s not quite pinhead but it’s more than enough for me to believe Moore’s screams are the real deal.

Moore soldiers on despite having a “wooden peacock” as the commentary team so eloquently put it sticking out of his head, Moore goes kick happy with drop, super and yakuza varieties and then pays homage to the late great Eddie Gurrero Trent Acid by swiping what I assume was a signature turnbuckle move, since I can’t place it I’m going to describe it in Michael Cole terms “OH MY, what an impact from that modified maneuver off the second rope!”.
Actually I think they just called it a tornado flatliner but whatever, Masada shifts momentum with a neck snappingly good Cradle back drop driver and follows up with a basic vertical suplex onto the windshield with substantially less impact than any other move so far and One, TWO, THREE….wait really? Three? From that? Well okay then.
Fans let me down here, I’m not sure they brought jackshit to this one, the biggest story from this match from fans to commentary backstory was Zandig and he wasn’t even there!


Bonus Match : Joey Gacy & Sami Callihan vs DJ Hyde and Greg Excellent

YS_Watermelon.gif


Hang on, I recognize this Callihan fellow, why if you cover him with Velcro and roll him through a pile of used wrestling singlets he’d come out looking like Solomon Crowe, I’ve cracked the hacker’s code!
Well I wont spend long on this one as it’s not part of the tournament, basically all four guys immediately start rucking in the actual field because screw the ring. The result is as clusterfucky as you may expect as we get dudes thrown into stick piles, irish whipped into a small hedge and using devastating twigs as whip like weapons. After everyone has had their fill of wandering the fields for 10 minutes of child like play fighting they finally amble back to the ring.

At this point we’ve got all sorts of weaponry in the mix, metal barricades, umbrellas, Vinyl records and WATERMELONS! The first of which must also have come from Japan seeing that Callihan slams it off Hyde’s head to no avail, so it’s only sensible that Hyde no sell that disappointment and hits a flabby spear on Callihan. Hyde turns his attention to Gacy and delivers the erupting watermelon spot the fans have been waiting for, accompanied as things often are at this event by some dude’s air horn in the crowd thus cementing the feeling of pure comedy antics.

Callihan wails on Hyde with a series of double length light tubes, like fragile Giant Knives forged by that hack Midigoron from Ocarina of Time they are rather unaffective despite their range and Hyde basically no sells them, that said his back is absolutely shredded as a result.
We’ve got little gunpowder poppers, we’ve got bottlecaps, it’s like they went all out finding tack alternatives here, in fact the weapons on display here make up for the stip from the last match (actually is it the same stipulation?). In any event the match gradually reaches a conclusion as Hyde gets pushed off the apron onto what could best be described as a small barbed wire scaffold, should’ve stayed behind the desk boss man.

With Excellent left all alone his foes set up a glass pane table, then throw a lighting tube and barbed wire chair on top and a hulking vintage PC monitor (?) below the glass as an unholy mess of which to powerbomb poor old Greg Excellent into off the top rope, yep that’s a three count all right and it makes me wonder what the brainstorm session is for a match like this.

Next time I make my way to Disc 2 and return to the tournament of death which probably has more prestige than the 2015 King of the Ring.
Click to expand...



This is great, dude. Please do more CZW shows in the future...
 
F

Fox318

Member
MegaKungFuRadio said:
Neville slowly deadlifting Owens into a German suplex was probably the most impressive thing I've seen done in a wrestling ring this year. That spot deserves to be repeated in front of a larger audience.
Click to expand...

As long as Owen sells it the same way like a cartoon charcter falling off a ledge
 
F

Fox318

Member
zychi said:
Beats the shield random zoom and shaky cam for no reason
Click to expand...

Its the little stuff like how on WWE they do more closeups whereas on NXT they will show him talking over somebody more.

I honestly hope that when Dunn is canned that they try to get rid of the notion of a hard cam. I see no reason why they can't have a rotating 360 degree camera on that lighting rig that allows them the ability to do different angels without an increased cost to setup.

If there is any single criticism of the product I think everyone here can agree with is that the production of WWE is stale. Same camera angles every week and since the cuts the lack of PPV sets really hurt the feel of a product.

Say what you want about Nitro but they were able to make use of an arena/venue to do different things to make places stand out.

If WWE never told you what city they were in you would never know unless you looked for fans wearing sports jerseys.
 
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