Jurassic World: Rebirth Review Thread

analog_future

analog_future

Resident Crybaby
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https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/jurassic_world_rebirth/reviews




58% is not great but this puts Rebirth as the third highest reviewed Jurassic film in the franchise, only behind Jurassic Park and Jurassic World.



Fuck it, I'm down for seeing this.
 
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How many of these movies do we need?

Aside from the second (which wasn't great), its always the same shit. Why not try another genre, like an alien 1 horror with a single raptor? (Gotta be a movie in that - I hear they are clever girls).
 
The last movie was so bad it was almost good, just bad though and hilariously so. The magic is long gone.
 
Still going to watch it in imax because the kid inside me would be disappointed if I didn't.

But going in with the lowest expectations possible.

Edit: wtf it's not imax?
 
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EviLore said:
Girlboss fatigue
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Yip they seem to have forgot the difference between girlboss and decent female lead.... which jp got right first time.

Hollywood I am ready to sign. I just need free beer and chatgpt. Can't be worse than the shit you're greenlighting now..
 
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I saw this at an early screening last week and thought it was horrible. Seeing anyone call it a return to form is laughable, Dominion was so bad people are actually trying to convince themselves of this.

Its not even fun bad, the action is dull and you don't care about any of the characters who make consistently bad decisions. The film has an opening scene explaining to you that the reason everything on this island went to shit is because of an empty snickers wrapper, it's that stupid. Towards the end it decides to randomly throw in member berries where they copy scenes from the original film almost shot for shot. The characters also don't get to the island until an hour into the runtime.

It'll likely make a billion anyway. Universal basically has a monopoly on dinosaur movies.
 
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If I see anything about a "return to form" after Dominion took a gigantic diarrhea shit on the franchise, I won't be able to take it seriously at all. Seeing mediocre reviews for this is about as surprising as taking a squeeze on the shitter after Taco Bell.
 
Part of the fun of the original, was that we didn't know shit about how dinos looked, so it felt like real animals. It never got that feeling back, maybe a little with the spinosaurus in the third, but that film had to many issues.
 
Saw it in 3D

Surprisingly I enjoyed it quite a bit, it's more paced like a horror movie and people die constantly throughout the runtime so it actually feels like there are some stakes.
There's a bunch of stalking sequences that have proper tension and the t-rex sequence is kinda terrifying because it's not a classic fast chase, but actually rather slow which made the tension stronger imo.
The final dino is definitely straight of a horror movie and feels much more like monster than a big lizard.

The opening sequence is colossally stupid though, who would design and approve such a retarded security system 🤦‍♂️

Edit: all cgi and no puppets is a loss too.
 
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All of the Gareth Edwards movies I've seen have great visuals, but characters & stories I don't remember or care about. Are the visuals decent at least?
 
calico said:
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I always remember hating this character...The Lost World was one of the first novels I read when I was like 11 or 12 because I loved the first movie. Reading the book was like "i'm gonna know what happens before the movie's out!" lol. When I saw her, I was like "wtf is this?" because the book had a white girl, and a black boy, and they just merged two characters into one. Neither one of them was fucking Malcolm's kid which is also dumb.
 
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I haven't seen it, but I saw an article yesterday, that said it has done an estimated $250m+ on opening weekend.

Then it will fall off when Superman and F4 drop.
 
I hope it has at least 10 main characters like the last one, makes for wonderfully focused movies.

Saw the latest Ghostbusters movie the other day, they nailed this wonderfully.

It's such a great trend, makes me almost want to give up on the medium as a whole. 😅
 
I saw it and thoroughly enjoyed it. It felt like a retread of the lost world or JP3 but in a good way whereas the last two world movies were just meh hero action movies with dinosaurs sprinkled in.

(I did like the first JW though, but more for the chaos. Watching the park break down in real time is like watching a zombie movie at the beginning of the outbreak, it's just stupidly interesting to watch)
freefornow said:
IGN gave this a 5/10. Thats like a 1/10 in real review scores.
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Good thing ign reviews arent real then.
 
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Codes 208 said:
It felt like a retread of the lost world or JP3 but in a good way
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Which is why it looks so dull to me. I don't need yet another "team of scientists and/or mercenaries go to another new island" plot that's been done to death in those two films only now they're adding "oh, but there's some crazy new man-made dino, look out!" that was done in the first two World films (maybe the third, it's hard for me to remember what the threat was since I was in disbelief that a DINOSAUR movie was wasting so much time on a LOCUST threat, like, what?).

I see the "girlboss" whining above in the thread, but replace Scarlet with any male action star, and it wouldn't improve anything, it still would look boring and uninspired so I'm not surprised if it reviews low. Dominion had a chance to mix things up by having dinosaurs as part of the outside world but then in a baffling move made it only like 20% of the movie at most but instead returned to ANOTHER ISLAND! I'm pretty sure the Jurassic Park series love islands even more than Star Wars loves desert planets, sheesh.

Honestly, only the original film and World 1 are worth a damn IMHO (Fallen Kingdom would have been okay if it had gotten a good follow up, but Dominion was a snooze fest). I know many swear by The Lost World, but I can't stand the main characters in that, they risk their lives stupidly by helping that baby T-Rex (oh gee, I wonder if its parents will not approve?!) which ends up getting that one guy killed, and they're obnoxiously self-righteous to the hunters and get a lot of them killed intentionally or through stupidity (Vince Vaughn flat out tries to kill the main hunter by stealing his ammo plus his freeing of the captured dinosaurs results in the communication equipment being damaged which makes their situation even worse, and Julianne Moore fails to ever do anything about the baby T-Rex blood on her vest even after it's noticed by her, which leads to them getting tracked and more deaths). Pete Postlethwaite as the main hunter is the only enjoyable thing about that movie IMHO.
 
With these kind of movies, I dont think reviews even matter that much. As long as it looks cool with some big fight and chase scenes thats good enough. You'll probably already know if you'll love or hate this kind of movie.

Let's be real here guys. Cant expect much when the stars of the movie are CGI dinosaurs.
 
6502 said:
How many of these movies do we need?

Aside from the second (which wasn't great), its always the same shit. Why not try another genre, like an alien 1 horror with a single raptor? (Gotta be a movie in that - I hear they are clever girls).
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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a slasher movie starring a single raptor-like dinosaur for a lot of its running time. But it still sucked of course, just like every single one after the original.

They'll keep making this slop until idiots stop paying for it.
 
Dr.Morris79 said:
I think that's half the problem, nothings real anymore (In the sense of animatronics..)

I do believe there is a real CGI fatigue going on!

Bring real back!

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Amen to that.

Even though it's obviously low budget, I'd take any Terminator 1 or T2 scene with real robotics and models than all the CGI shit in later Terminator movies. Which most of the new stuff looks a combo of cheesy, doesnt move right (bad physics), and ultimately way gay.

Was it Dark Fate? I forget. But the scene where you see a ton of Terminators marching out the ocean looked stupid as hell.
 
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StreetsofBeige said:
Amen to that.

Even though it's obviously low budget, I'd take any Terminator 1 or T2 scene with real robotics and models than all the CGI shit in later Terminator movies. Which most of the new stuff looks a combo of cheesy, doesnt move right (bad physics), and ultimately way gay.
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Couldn't agree more. I think that's what adds depth to it, in Terminator, it moved janky.. but a killing robot probably would, its believable and its a solid object on screen.

That's why I still rate such old films, like The Thing, not to mention the sheer amount of effort that must go into it, they deserve credit just for that!

To think that a whole industry of talented people, designers, model makers collapsed due to this ropey looking shite is unbelievable

And the amount of money these studios are throwing at such crap looking effects is insane. You could probably fund a fair few animatronic designers..

Insane.

StreetsofBeige said:
Was it Dark Fate? I forget. But the scene where you see a ton of Terminators marching out the ocean looked stupid as hell.
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I honestly couldn't physically bring myself to watch it, I've still got it on blu ray in cellophane :messenger_tears_of_joy:

I bought it but then read it was dire.
 
Dr.Morris79 said:
Couldn't agree more. I think that's what adds depth to it, in Terminator, it moved janky.. but a killing robot probably would, its believable and its a solid object on screen.

That's why I still rate such old films, like The Thing, not to mention the sheer amount of effort that must go into it, they deserve credit just for that!

To think that a whole industry of talented people, designers, model makers collapsed due to this ropey looking shite is unbelievable

And the amount of money these studios are throwing at such crap looking effects is insane. You could probably fund a fair few animatronic designers..

Insane.


I honestly couldn't physically bring myself to watch it, I've still got it on blu ray in cellophane :messenger_tears_of_joy:

I bought it but then read it was dire.
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It's not just that, but 2D animation is dying as well and CGI it's nowhere as expressive as 2D. Technically you could but it would be incredibly expensive.
 
StreetsofBeige said:
Amen to that.

Even though it's obviously low budget, I'd take any Terminator 1 or T2 scene with real robotics and models than all the CGI shit in later Terminator movies. Which most of the new stuff looks a combo of cheesy, doesnt move right (bad physics), and ultimately way gay.

Was it Dark Fate? I forget. But the scene where you see a ton of Terminators marching out the ocean looked stupid as hell.
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Thats the skill of Cameron. He is one of the very few directors that really knows how to film with CG. He knows when to keep it short and replace with practical effects (like in T2 where they had real prosthetics for the T1000 bullet impacts or a real split open dummy) and how to 'film' CG like it was a real thing by moving the camera as if it were in the real world. Lots of CG heavy sequences have a zooming camera going where it shouldn't and for whatever reason that breaks immersion (for me). Gareth Edwards has a great eye for perspective with CG, so I'd expect JP to have great looking dinos. Big dinos will look big, things will move in a realistic way, he will keep the camera grounded.

I lament the collapse of practical effects. Even the worst latex prosthetic filled with tubes of blood looks 'more real' than the most elaborate CG in many cases. Ages waaaaaay better, there are whole decades of movies that are almost unwatchable now due to shoddy CGI while poor practical effects or composite shots still have charm. That static shark prop being dragged through the water in Jaws, filmed way up close to hide how fake it looked, is 10000% better and more enduring than a hundred CGI shark scenes since. Alas, these days the time on set for practical effects is too costly versus shooting principle photography as fast as possible and then going into post.
 
they should remake congo as more true to the book with more horror elements and i would have mads mikkelsen play herkemer homolka STOP EATIN ME SESAME KEK
 
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Bring back real (No more CGI) - Tone down the scale - Add horror elements (Make the dinosaurs fucking scary) - Profit..

It could all be so simple
 
This was absolutly fucking crap , A few thoughts whilst i was watching :

I wanted Dora the explorers family to get eaten so bad !!! , The Pepsico and Mars advertising was facepalm, Why did the french dude just talk in French and yet eveybody spoke to him in English? The ending WTF

After reading about the rushed production on this no wonder its crap
 
A father takes his family sailing in the middle of the ocean at the EXACT place all the dinosaurs live and no one is allowed to be.

The dino museum guy has apparently never seen a real dino while a real dino is lying down in traffic right outside the museum.

The mercenary group who is traveling to the dino island brings one gun.

The group jumps into the shallows to save themselves from the dinosaurs in the open ocean, they then swim to the beach, only for the ship they just jumped from landing at the beach right next to them.

Then a spino eats one crew member on the beach, and they dont care much and just stays on the beach and keep unpacking.

Fucking massive plant eating dinosaurs hides in the grass and pops up out of nowhere to the jurassic park theme. Even if the grass was 10 times longer it wouldn't cover them.

T-Rex sleeping and the girl starting to inflate that boat next to it.

And the end, what's the goal here? are they gonna drive across the ocean in that thing? what about gas? they would go a few miles out and run out of gas and die. And the kid brought the dino, but wasnt there something about how dinos needed more oxygen and couldnt survive outside the equator?
 
I think I'll go Sunday. I HATED the World trilogy lol. At first glance I'm happy BDH and Pratt are out. But I expect another corporate train wreck.

As for Lost World, I really grew to like it over the years. Yes. it might run a bit too long, has a bit too many characters and an awful Julianne Moore... but I like it. Probably because every subsequent sequel started to suck worse.
 
SkylineRKR said:
I think I'll go Sunday. I HATED the World trilogy lol. At first glance I'm happy BDH and Pratt are out. But I expect another corporate train wreck.

As for Lost World, I really grew to like it over the years. Yes. it might run a bit too long, has a bit too many characters and an awful Julianne Moore... but I like it. Probably because every subsequent sequel started to suck worse.
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This continues the feeling of the World trilogy, it does not feel new or like a reboot at all. There are very few cool dinosaur scenes. It's a boring dumb film.
 
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