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[Mr. PlayStation]

I didn't consider the scenario that the guy was a lying shitbag. Glad everything worked out and I'm glad my advice was the wrong decision.

You just need to watch a few indian tv mega serials man, that's what happens in 9/10 serials! In my previous post I suggested the same, that his GF would be innocent while that other guy is the one playing a BS game with their lives!

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some thee times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Quote for the new page.

Dude, just move on. The well is already poisoned. Trust has been demolished on both sides.

Looking forward to the "my wife is cheating on me" thread.

 

[Big Baybee]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

I feel like you can put this together and make the right decision.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some thee times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Every time someon catches someone cheating they get mad at the person that caught them. Either "you snooping on me!!" or "you don't trust me!" or "it's your fault I can't be faithful!"

Why are you wasting your time. Deep down you know the truth. Don't let your self esteem be so low that you tolerate shit like this.

Even IF she's not cheating she is ACTIVELY on dating apps dude. You don't consider that a big ass red flag? Because I do. My wife would flip the fuck out if I had a dating app installed. And we met via a dating app. But the moment we finished fucking and realized we liked spending time with each other and wanted to date we mutually agreed to shut our accounts down. You being played.

PROTIP: Don't get her pregnant.

 

[benicillin]

Either you trust her or you don't. The path is pretty clear from there depending on your answer from that.

Speaking from personal experience I've seen people ruin relationships where nothing actually happened because they spent all their time being paranoid that something did happen.

Either way, make your decision far away from this thread.

 

[mordecaii83]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

OK, just announcing to this thread that I'm ready to eat crow. OP, good luck... I wouldn't buy any of that and her response seems like classic "why don't you trust me unconditionally even though I'm being shady" stuff that people who have something to hide pull. I'm leaning towards bail out at this point, but if you decide not to be very clear that things don't add up to you and you'd like to know what's going on with no bullshit.

 

[ShyMel]

Please talk to your girlfriend and discuss how you feel about the whole situation. If you feel as though you can no longer trust her end the relationship. Do not stay with all the doubts you have because they will fester inside of you.

 

[Lagspike_exe]

Bang her bff.

 

[Ristifer]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Well, that didn't take long. She's making you feel badly about the whole thing? This feels like textbook stuff.

Time to be done with this.

 

[Mr. PlayStation]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Still think she's innocent. Give it some time OP!

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Either you trust her or you don't. The path is pretty clear from there depending on your answer from that.

Speaking from personal experience I've seen people ruin relationships where nothing actually happened because they spent all their time being paranoid that something did happen.

Either way, make your decision far away from this thread.

Have you seen nothing actually happen when one of them is using a dating app while in a relationship?

 

[kmax]

It's not rocket science at this point.

 

[Kevtones]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

- She blocked and then... unblocked him?
- She's going to meet a creep this month, and she helped plan the timing of it?

Dude. DUDE. I'm sorry but she's no good.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Time to leave OP. You don't make friends on dating apps and not have their number unless you are in some type of community, but even then you have their number. Dating apps aren't neogaf.

OP, try to recognize if you're in denial. Then you can make a clearer judgement.

 

[Peltz]

Did you confirm this? Sounds like this guy could just be fucking with you.

Yo, I called this^

 

[Grenchel]

To a large degree, you can't allow us to inform your decision. We can't have the full context of either you are your partner to interpret the situation fully accurately.

It sounds like, regardless if she actually cheated or not, you guys are going to be going through a rough patch.

My two cents: from what you have said It's extremely easy for you to feel some doubt right about you, and she needs to be more understanding why you are upset. She might not like this, but you need to talk about this more. Any feelings of doubt will just fester and fuck things up at a later date.. this is the best time to go explore this thing totally.

best of luck

 

[Cudder]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Crocodile tears/gaslighting.

 

[Amagon]

Cut her loose quick. Too many things that'd don't add up that there is no way the excuse she gave you is true.

 

[Elegant Weapon]

I'm sorry OP, but you probably need to download that app yourself and look for someone new. Trust has been lost and her making you feel guilty over basic stuff like her not shutting down another guy and actually meeting with him while y'all were dating

 

[Peltz]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

 

[Shredderi]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Oh fuck. I'm so sorry OP, but the whole "I'm upset because you doubted me(whe was fucking suspicious having a fucking dating app well into the relationship) ". I mean, that is hilariously textbook stuff on this. They ALWAYS get mad and try to turn the tables to make you into a bad guy for doubting (again, this case actually had reasonable doubt so getting mad isn't even called for). This is standard technique in trying to guilt trip you so instead of focusing on the minute details of the whole thing (and thus making unwanted discoveries) you'll be busy feeling guilty.

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

Lmao.

 

[Cudder]

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

Welcome to the thread, OP's gf.

 

[blackflag]

This is textbook "Cheater turns the tables" stuff.

 

[Mr. PlayStation]

Welcome to the thread, OP's gf.

LMAO

 

[benicillin]

Have you seen nothing actually happen when one of them is using a dating app while in a relationship?

Yes, but that was usually a few months into a new relationship. Certainly not on the timetable the OP has related, even if it sounds like she wasn't even on the app anymore and they were talking through WhatsApp and Facebook?

Idk, I personally always feel uncomfortable making any concrete judgement calls when we literally know nothing about the OP or their partner. Usually because it attracts the kind of people who are always sure that someone is cheating, 100%. Which is why the OP just needs to figure out if they trust their partner and deal with it away from a thread full of cynics!

 

[Kill Your Masters]

This is textbook "Cheater turns the tables" stuff.

This pretty much.

A cheating ex told me it was all my fault that she cheated.

 

[Ryzaki009]

Crocodile tears/gaslighting.

this abort OP. For the love of god don't get her pregnant.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

You're ok with you SO going on dating apps and meeting folks to be "friends" from it?

Yes, but that was usually a few months into a new relationship. Certainly not on the timetable the OP has related, even if it sounds like she wasn't even on the app anymore and they were talking through WhatsApp and Facebook?

Idk, I personally always feel uncomfortable making any concrete judgement calls when we literally know nothing about the OP or their partner. Usually because it attracts the kind of people who are always sure that someone is cheating, 100%. Which is why the OP just needs to figure out if they trust their partner and deal with it away from a thread full of cynics!

That's what I'm saying. Not on the timetable OP has described. No, not facebook. Dating apps. I feel very comfortable making a judgement call because if the shoe was on the other foot OP's GF wouldn't tolerate that shit if she actually expected a loyal relationship from dude.

So fuck that noise. Sometimes it's very good to be a cynic. Especially when the truth of the situation is staring you right in the face.

 

[JCHandsom]

Welcome to the thread, OP's gf.

oh shit

This is better than Netflix

 

[Reckheim]

I'm sorry OP, but you probably need to download that app yourself and look for someone new. Trust has been lost and her making you feel guilty over basic stuff like her not shutting down another guy and actually meeting with him while y'all were dating

To add to this, she wasnt going to tell you about this meeting either. That right there is a huge red flag, regardless of whether she was gonna cheat (or if she was cheating already); she was meeting other dudes with out telling you, and there is only one reason why she isn't telling you.

 

[ZangBa]

I don't understand how she could blame you for not trusting her, she's not looking through your perspective at all on this. It's really up to you if you believe all this but I'm finding this all really questionable. It looks like she's just window-shopping other guys and being careful about it.

 

[mordecaii83]

Still a chance she's innocent OP, but I feel like there's reasonable doubt now. You really need to have a long discussion with her to where you both understand the other's position and have no real doubts left, or you need to bounce. There's no middle ground here.

 

[Dead End Irony]

Welcome to the thread, OP's gf.

Was just getting ready to post this. LOL

 

[SmugSnake]

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

She was on a dating app, is talking to a guy she claims is a creep that she could easily block but doesn't, and says they can meet after the 23rd? If she thinks he's a creep then why the hell is she talking with him and wants to meet? And trying to guilt him by trying to make him feel bad for not trusting her is a classic tactic to turn it around on the other person.

And you think the OP is paranoid? lol. It could be innocuous but it could also very well not. Nothing wrong with trying to figure it out.

 

[zeemumu]

We can go the Occam's Razor route and just believe her and that the other dude was lying.

Or we can go down the crazy road to conspiracy town and assume that she found out that he talked to your sister and that it was only a matter of time before you confronted her about it so she worked this whole thing ahead of time to make it seem like he was the one lying so you'll feel bad and never question her again.

But here's the problem with that 2nd one: you said you saw all of the messages over the last 20 days. I'm assuming he spoke to your sister within that timeframe, so that exchange would be in the messages, right?

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.

Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

I want my 80$

 

[mordecaii83]

We can go the Occam's Razor route and just believe her and that the other dude was lying.

Or we can go down the crazy road to conspiracy town and assume that she found out that he talked to your sister and that it was only a matter of time before you confronted her about it so she worked this whole thing ahead of time to make it seem like he was the one lying so you'll feel bad and never question her again.

But here's the problem with that 2nd one: you said you saw all of the messages over the last 20 days. I'm assuming he spoke to your sister within that timeframe, so that exchange would be in the messages, right?

Just to throw out a conspiracy theory here, there could have been a "we'll fool around but if you ever let it slip we're done" clause and the dude realized he screwed up and was trying to salvage the situation so he wouldn't lose "the goods". It's not especially likely, but I've seen it.

 

[gogosox82]

A little update.

She called me in the evening again and was sounding really upset. So I asked and she said she was upset because I didnt trust her, looked at her phone (I did see her phone to see if the app was still there, in front of her only. It was unlocked and I was just so angry and frustrated I couldnt help myself) and that she had never explained herself to anyone before, so calling another guy just to clear things with me was a big deal and she was feeling bad that I turned out to be a guy who doubted her.
She says that I shouldve asked her and nothing else. So basically I have two choices forever, whenever I have even a little bit of doubt- 1. Dont do anything. 2. Ask her and believe her story.
Kinda made me feel very bad for a while. I indeed felt like a doubting bf.

As others are pointing out, on further thinking I do think some things dont add up.
If she didnt like the guy in the first meet (and turns out that the guy shifted to GF's town after around 8 months of us being together, and not very early in our relationship), why did she meet him a second time? That too after such a long time? Did they meet more times in between? Also, if the guy is as big a creep as she claims, why the hell is he not blocked and out of her life forever? Why is he still sending whatsapp and FB msgs to her, which she replies sometimes to?
Finally, if she is telling the truth in saying that they met only twice and with a gap of a year or so, why the hell was this guy messaging her a whole year without meeting and why was he allowed to do so by her?
Also, I should point out, since some people are saying that I couldve known if there was anything fishy in the chats, the chats I saw only went as back as 20 days or so. Before that nothing was there. Her explanation is that he was blocked before that and hence no chats. In those 20 days of chats I couldnt gauge much, except one red flag chat where he asked her to meet some three times and she replied-
"I am going home. Lets meet after 23rd October."
She couldve stopped at "No", or "I am going home." or simply blocked him. She had no need of letting him know she will be back on 23rd. She says she simply replied as she would to any friend that she is not available and can meet after being back on 23rd.

So....story not over yet?

Well she is kind of right. Either you trust her or you don't. If you don't trust her, there's no reason to be in a relationship with her. Sounds like you kind of don't trust her tbh but in the end its your call but I would probably end it. Like you said, there is a lot of shit that doesn't add up and her response is trust me. Meh, that's not a great response.

 

[Nictel]

Did you show her this thread?

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

Question answers itself.

Trust is important in a relationship. This goes both ways, being distrustful for no reason is wrong. Getting angry because you feel someone must trust you no matter what is wrong too.

I dunno OP, at best she should be more understanding that there are going to be trust issues after what she did. At worst this sounds like her seeing an easy exit "I can't be with you if you are so paranoid!" without having to admit wrongdoing from her side.

 

[Auto_aim1]

Honestly, you seem paranoid as hell... and immature. You're the shady one here in my humble opinion.

Welcome to the thread, OP's gf.

This made my day lol. I love this thread.

Anyway, OP, do what you have to do.

 

[Kevtones]

We can go the Occam's Razor route and just believe her and that the other dude was lying.

Or we can go down the crazy road to conspiracy town and assume that she found out that he talked to your sister and that it was only a matter of time before you confronted her about it so she worked this whole thing ahead of time to make it seem like he was the one lying so you'll feel bad and never question her again.

But here's the problem with that 2nd one: you said you saw all of the messages over the last 20 days. I'm assuming he spoke to your sister within that timeframe, so that exchange would be in the messages, right?

It's not a crazy road. Literally everything points to this being textbook cheating/dishonesty.


What person blocks a creepy guy they dated and then unblocks them and goes out of their way to plan a meet up? What the fuck kind of logic is that?

 

[zeemumu]

Just to throw out a conspiracy theory here, there could have been a "we'll fool around but if you ever let it slip we're done" clause and the dude realized he screwed up and was trying to salvage the situation so he wouldn't lose "the goods". It's not especially likely, but I've seen it.

If he didn't know that OP was there during the screened call then it wouldn't make sense for him to tell the sister and the gf two different things.

 

[Anoxida]

We can go the Occam's Razor route and just believe her and that the other dude was lying.

Or we can go down the crazy road to conspiracy town and assume that she found out that he talked to your sister and that it was only a matter of time before you confronted her about it so she worked this whole thing ahead of time to make it seem like he was the one lying so you'll feel bad and never question her again.

But here's the problem with that 2nd one: you said you saw all of the messages over the last 20 days. I'm assuming he spoke to your sister within that timeframe, so that exchange would be in the messages, right?

This. The phone call to him feels too legit to be made up. However it feel like she likes to see whats out there. Does look like the well is poisoned though, gonna be hard to make it through this one.

 

[Alebrije]

Let it go OP, the doubt will kill you if you keep that relationship.

 

[Acyl]

Share my story about two GFs, one shitty like OP's gf and one that was a good person:

When I was young and dumb, I was in similar shoes as you (feeling-wise) with the girl I was dating. It was sometimes long-distance, and I trusted her, but it felt sketchy sometimes when she would go out clubbing with her friends and she had a best-friend that was a guy, etc. I never caught her cheating on me or had any reason to suspect it - but we broke up because she "wanted to see other people" LOL. I was fine with it, because I wanted to see other people too, and I did - then she came crawling back. And I slammed that door.

Another GF: never have these sorts of suspicions or feelings because she was always 100% loyal and any guy-friend was strictly a guy-friend and nothing more. If the guy flirted with her she cut them off because they disrespected her relationship with me, right? If you're in a relationship and a girl starts flirting with you, are you gonna cut her off or keep it going? The choice is obvious.

So hopefully you understand that, while you don't need to jump to extreme conclusions, her behavior is not marriage-material.

My advice: Few solid options: Stay in it for the banging, and start looking elsewhere. Or break up and start looking elsewhere. I suggest the first one. You can even be honest about it. A worse option (which is what I did with GF#1): Just move on from this problem, trust her, and stay in the relationship. She may never do something untrustworthy again, but that's a gamble I wouldn't play again when you can just find someone better. People have broken up over less things.

 

[Wildo09]

I believe in your gf OP. That guy is a lying douchebag that was obviously trying to start shit by telling your sister all of that, he even knew your gf was thinking of getting married.

People saying things about her meeting people behind OPs back, it seems like you have never dated through Tinder or other apps before, you can have several dates with different people on the same WEEK before actually getting to anything formal. Just because she met with OP and then met another man afterwards doesn't mean she was cheating on him.

 

[Furyous]

Things to do:

Dump her immediately
Clean all traces of her off your social media
Get tested for STDs

How to improve:
Don't consider marrying someone you've known for two weeks
Don't bring people to meet your family you met off a dating app you've known for a short time.
Take your time to figure out how to improve the odds of success in the future.
Use this as fuel to become better at something positive

It sucks but you dodged a bullet. At least you didn't find out after you proposed. It would be screwed up if she said yes then kept cheating. Now that might leave an emotional scar.

It may take time to get over this but you will and don't be mad at her. She made her choice and now she lives with it good or bad.

 

[zeemumu]

It's not a crazy road. Literally everything points to this being textbook cheating/dishonesty.


What person blocks a creepy guy they dated and then unblocks them and goes out of their way to plan a meet up? What the fuck kind of logic is that?

Wouldn't call that going out of your way to plan a meet up but it hardly matters now. OP's never gonna be able to let it go. The paranoia's rooted deep in there.

 

[Sickness702]

Just think off all the times you were sitting right next to her and she was talking to her "friends" without you knowing what was going on.

Do you wonder why she never told you about these "friends?" Is it because she knew you would get upset? If she knew you would get upset why was she still doing it? If she did it knowing you would get upset but still continued to do it does she really care about your feelings?

If they talk behind your back it would be easy to come up with a plan to make it look like nothing was happening between them. My theory is they are fuck buddies and he want's more than what she is willing to offer but she is still down to smash. I base this off of a couple things you wrote.

1) The guy told that they met on the same dating app on which me and my gf met.

--- If she hooked up with you on the app you know she is down to meet people from the app

2) They've been dating for a couple of months and have met a few times. Didnt say anything about physical relations.

----She met him more than once during your relationship so she is down to creep behind your back.

3) The guy is sure my gf likes him and that things will progress slowly and then they might think of getting married.

--- Booty calls start as sex but someone always catches feelings. In his case they smashed a couple times which makes him think they may have something

4) She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

--- Why would she be chatting with him live while at the mall? This means it's more than just "he messages me every once in a while."

5) She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

--- This right here should be clear as day to you.... if it's someone who pesters her and she doesn't like him why would she talk to him across multiple apps? Come on now bruh. She is clearly lying to you about their relationship. It's also easy to delete her comments to make it look one sided. I also think she purposely kept those one sided conversations open just in case you find out so she can show you she was "innocent."

6) Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

--- Let me decipher this for you...

Her "Why did you open your mouth to my friend?
Him: "I didn't"
Her: "What did you say then?"
Him: "I just said that I like you but I didn't say we were fucking"
Her: "Are you sure you didn't say anything?"
Him: "Yeah, i'm sure"
Her: I told you I have a man so you know you can't be more than a booty call"
Him: " "But I want to be more than fuck buddies"

6) So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

--- So the real friends she met she only keeps on the dating app but the guy she doesn't like gets access to all her other social media accounts????? She also said she deleted the app and didn't have plans of doing anything but she reinstalled it while she was at the mall just to find this guy happened to be there at the same time?

 

[Cudder]

I believe in your gf OP. That guy is a lying douchebag that was obviously trying to start shit by telling your sister all of that, he even knew your gf was thinking of getting married.

People saying things about her meeting people behind OPs back, it seems like you have never dated through Tinder or other apps before, you can have several dates with different people on the same WEEK before actually getting to anything formal. Just because she met with OP and then met another man afterwards doesn't mean she was cheating on him.

OP and his gf have been together for 1.5 years though, and she RECENTLY met up with him, behind his back, using a dating app. pls go