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Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me
- Thread starter kittoo
- Start date
Your story reminds me of my older Brother, he was chatting with a girl from a dating app and had plans to marry her, except the fact that me and my parents warning that we haven't met the girl or her family and she was refusing to let my older brother meet her parents but no he was adamant that she was the one.
So one night he wanted to see my phone and check out the dating app that I was using, it was the same he was using, and lo and behold he found her profile and he confronted her and she got all defensive and told him to butt out, my older brother just ended it then and there.
I fear that your story will end up being the same as if she was deadly serous about getting marrying you, then she wouldn't still be using a dating apps while she's with you and her excuse of "oh I only use to chat with my friend" is honestly bullshit as there other ways of communicating outside of a dating app, not that her male friends on the dating app ever saw her as a "friend."
Trust is an important part of an healthy relationship and right now neither of you trust each other as that as flown out of the window.
My advice is honestly break it off as no normal girl would be giving you this much grief and honestly I don't think that she's worth fighting for, considering that she still had the dating app while she was with you.
OP is Indian, this is normal within our culture.
With a destructive attitude like that you will never be in a relationship.
I dunno, the GF has a way worse attitude and she's somehow found her way into => TWO concurrent relationships
Bruce Wayne1
Member
How did it go OP
MegaManTrigger
Banned
This whole idea that destructive attitude = will never be in a relationship is absolute bullshit. Shitty people will find a way to attract others.
curiouscharles
Member
hunh?
that's not at all abnormal.
my wife and i were talking marriage within 1 year [when you know, you fucking know people].
this is 100% true in my experience.
if i'm hiding something myself even, if my wife touches / goes near whatever place / device / etc i'm hiding something i freak out for no reason [well, there IS a reason, but SHE CANT KNOW OK!?!?]
She is trying to make you feel guilty about "doubting her" when you are brought a facebook page of someone saying he is dating your girlfriend, and you go to her and she tells you she has been talking to that same guy? What the fuck would anyone think in that situation?
The fact that she is even trying to make you feel guilty about that is kind of fucked and exactly the kind of thing dishonest people tend to do when they feel pressured about their lies.
I doubt your situation is anywhere near settled, sorry.
The fact that she is even trying to make you feel guilty about that is kind of fucked and exactly the kind of thing dishonest people tend to do when they feel pressured about their lies.
I doubt your situation is anywhere near settled, sorry.
CoolestSpot
Banned
I was on your side OP with the update that things are going alright, but with her getting defensive it's clear she's hiding something. The circumstances are so weird, and if this was just some weird ass liar messaging you she'd understand why you were hesitant to believe her and how suspicious it all seems. Instead, she's playing the victim in hopes you'll just drop any and all questioning and see how "hurt" she is by you being a doubting boyfriend.
The fact that after I posted this there were three people above me saying the same should be a red flag.
The fact that after I posted this there were three people above me saying the same should be a red flag.
Polioliolio
Member
Right, imagine the situation reversed and there was no cheating. Wouldn't ya feel you'd want to comfort and assure your partner you weren't cheating instead of playing the blame game?
Lose her.
Dynamite Shikoku
Congratulations, you really deserve it!
Get out of it bro. Don't live your life doubting shit. Plenty of other women
TheSpoiler
Member
Why would she give him a date.
Why.
Why keep talking to a creeper.
Why why why.
Why.
Why keep talking to a creeper.
Why why why.
Sickness702
Member
Reinstall the dating app and send her a message saying it's over. If she responds to you that means she didn't delete the app and she is guilty af
StarCreator
Member
All I'm getting from the last few pages of thread is that it's really easy for people on the internet to sink a complete stranger's relationship based on an incomplete one sided account of the story.
OP, you really need to figure out for yourself if you still trust her or not. You, and not random people on an internet forum, need to make that decision. You know her better than any of us do.
OP, you really need to figure out for yourself if you still trust her or not. You, and not random people on an internet forum, need to make that decision. You know her better than any of us do.
Sickness702
Member
He came here to ask for advice. The information he provided is proof enough that there are problems. She should not be on a dating app and meeting guys without him knowing. There is no way to sugar coat this. She went behind his back to meet a guy, case closed.
I too totally use a dating app to meet lots of friendly female singles to be friends with while in a serious relationship for over a year. It only makes sense to keep them on Tindr where I met them, and never introduce to them, mention them to my partner, or move over to any other platform of chat.
Vire
Member
Shes trying to flip the script on you and make you feel bad about this shit? Hell no.
Tell her to fuck off, you were the one using a dating app. You cant just roll over on this one. Sometimes you need to stand your ground.
SciencePilot
Member
I thought we had a happy ending, what happened? Why would she bring it up again of her own volition? Whether she cheated or not, I don't see how that would benefit her.
Because gaslighting him about his doubt now sets her up to do whatever the fuck she wants in the future and then cry about his unfair doubt when she slips up.
As what was expected.
StarCreator
Member
I read the updates, same as you, and I don't think it's that clear cut. In particular, the source of all the trouble was always suspect; the other dude has a vested interest in breaking up the relationship if he's that thirsty for the girl.
Literally every relationship thread on here sides against the girl, regardless of the circumstances, to the point I'm suspecting a trend of jaded misogyny.
KoopaTheCasual
Junior Member
OP, did I not tell you she would try to flip the script on you and make YOU the villain in this situation? Sigh.
I really wish you met that other guy face to face (or had your sister do it), before confronting your girlfriend. Now everything is way messier. Dude is probably an exaggerating creep, but putting him on the spot with the girl he's talking to and her 1.5 year bf would cause anyone to hit eject as fast as possible.
Bottom line, she met with a stranger multiple times from a dating app and didn't tell you. THESE ARE FACTS. How dare she get upset at you for feeling betrayed for that. That's some manipulative shit. Keep your wits about you, and don't compromise your morals just to preserve the idea of marriage to this woman.
Hope the next chapter works in your favor, mate. Good luck.
I really wish you met that other guy face to face (or had your sister do it), before confronting your girlfriend. Now everything is way messier. Dude is probably an exaggerating creep, but putting him on the spot with the girl he's talking to and her 1.5 year bf would cause anyone to hit eject as fast as possible.
Bottom line, she met with a stranger multiple times from a dating app and didn't tell you. THESE ARE FACTS. How dare she get upset at you for feeling betrayed for that. That's some manipulative shit. Keep your wits about you, and don't compromise your morals just to preserve the idea of marriage to this woman.
Hope the next chapter works in your favor, mate. Good luck.
Aizo
Banned
Hey, OP, does the other guy have a gaf account?
1. Suspicious girlfriend
2. Girlfriend ousts other man as crazy creeper
3. OP believes the acting (give that girl an Oscar)
4. XXXSEXXX (entrapment)
5. Girlfriend calls back blaming OP for his mistrust (sex was a ruse!)
6. SUSPICIOUS GIRLFRIEND
Life is an ouroboros 🤔
2. Girlfriend ousts other man as crazy creeper
3. OP believes the acting (give that girl an Oscar)
4. XXXSEXXX (entrapment)
5. Girlfriend calls back blaming OP for his mistrust (sex was a ruse!)
6. SUSPICIOUS GIRLFRIEND
Life is an ouroboros 🤔
andythinkpad
Member
Upon further reading, she is treating him as the bench. I think you know what to do.
Souless_PJ
Banned
OP I went though something similar when I was young and dumb.
GF was being shady - I found out about it. Confronted her - put the blame back on me for doubting her / looking for evidence.
We broke up - she started seeing the new guy who she claimed was just her friend.
Its a story as old as time.
GET OUT NOW.
GF was being shady - I found out about it. Confronted her - put the blame back on me for doubting her / looking for evidence.
We broke up - she started seeing the new guy who she claimed was just her friend.
Its a story as old as time.
GET OUT NOW.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
To be fair, almost every single relationship thread on gaf ends up with cheating. It's usually less than 5% where it ends up a happy story
Sickness702
Member
The reason you don't mention them to your partner is because you know your partner would be upset and it could cause problems for your relationship, correct? You understand that talking to multiple girls on a dating app could be catastrophic to your relationship so you minimize your opportunities to get caught by sticking to one app.
She doesn't care though. She knows what she is doing is wrong but still does it and is sloppy about it. She knows shes wrong
Don't forget the sex!
Guilt.
She met up with a guy that made his intentions clear. She knew that going in. She isn't innocent like some are saying.
#sorrynotsorry
Member
I bet the guy brought it up to her after the sister talked so she had a heads up and told him everything and then the phone call was him covering for her. She's very clearly lying to you about something. That doesn't mean she's out having sex with him, but somewhere in this chain of events there's a lie. You need to find out what it is.
I ain't the wisest man on earth by any stretch of the imagination. But I've learned the hard way to trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. She may or may not be cheating, but it seems obvious she is keeping something from you.
Updated
1. Suspicious girlfriend
2. Girlfriend ousts other man as crazy creeper
3. OP believes the acting (give that girl an Oscar)
4. XXXSEXXX (entrapment)
5. Girlfriend calls back blaming OP for his mistrust (surprise!!! The sex was a ruse!)
6. SUSPICIOUS GIRLFRIEND
Life is an ouroboros 🤔
Trotting out misogyny when most are reacting to the facts of the situation logically is shitty.
What woman unblocks a 'creepy' guy she wasn't interested in after a long period of no contact, to meet up, behind her boyfriend's back? Not only that, she said she wasn't seeing him and was planning to meet him. She lied straight up and tried to make him feel guilty immediately.
This is textbook. We'd love to be wrong but this reeks.
andythinkpad
Member
Make up sex is the best sex. [/Seinfeld]
Why steamed though? That sounds terrible.
Donald Trump can confirm.
mordecaii83
Member
Jaded? Probably. Misogyny? I'm pretty sure the reactions would be 100% the same if the OP was a girl and the SO was a guy. In fact the SO being a guy would probably give him less benefit of the doubt from the beginning and more people would have said he was being shady from the get-go. So yeah, I call misuse of the term misogyny.
Seriously, what a bullshit situation. Shes full of it.
Would you rather it be boiled??
Holy shit, are you me? I went through the same thing, came to the same conclusions. I'm sorry you had to go through this, hope you're doing okay now.
The most recent OP update is sadly where it seemed it was going all along. This is what cheaters do - they trickle and half truth their way through confrontation, then try to gaslight and turn things on you for not trusting them.
When my ex-wife cheated on me, I confronted her - she acted genuinely surprised, asked me why I thought that, and then made up some bullshit that convinced me. Afterwards, she asked "Did you tell any of our friends? They must think I'm a terrible person! You need to go back to them and tell them you were wrong".
The whole time she was still seeing the other dude.
Get out, OP. You won't get any closure from her. Don't give her control over your mental state.
