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Kotaku: My Son Has Ruined Zelda: Breath Of The Wild (Don't Have Kids)

Alebrije

Member
Depending on how old the kiddo is...the solution is to hand him a controller that's not even plugged in and play the game yourself, with all your stuff nice and safe!

Tried this. Worked for some time after my son somehow realized he was no moving the main character and began to ask for my controller.
 
i'd say let's get lionel mandrake in here but what is there to sum up really? "gaf is up it's own ass, the end"

This thread is weird. On one side you have "it's just a video game, how dare you deny your child!! RAGE!", on the other it's "oh God, look at this soft ass parent, weak".

All from a cute article about one father's experience with his 4 year old.
 

Betty

Banned
Depending on how old the kiddo is...the solution is to hand him a controller that's not even plugged in and play the game yourself, with all your stuff nice and safe!

Holy shit this is such a cruel idea lol

So the kid thinks they're playing but it's actually you mimicking their movements but not doing as much damage, wow.
 

Shifty

Member
I mean... Letting him use your save so he can play with all the cool shit is nice, but if he'd rather have soup ladles isn't it already a moot point?

Just point him in the direction of Gerudo when he gets off the plateau, maybe with a spot of handholding here and there. Problem solved.

Depending on how old the kiddo is...the solution is to hand him a controller that's not even plugged in and play the game yourself, with all your stuff nice and safe!

I did that to the kid of a parent's acquaintance when I was in primary school. He'd been dragged round and dumped on me while the grown-ups had a coffee and a natter, made it about halfway through SM64's Bowser in the Dark World before I got rumbled.
Young me was an asshole, evidently.
 

RaptorGTA

Member
Yea...I let my girlfriends two kids play Zelda. They play on their own games. I play on their games sometime to push them further along but for being 5 and 7 I am surprised how far they get on their own.
 

JeTmAn81

Member
A couple of things (I wrote this and I'm a long-time GAF lurker)

-- Of course I know how saves work and how this could be prevented. I honestly just don't care enough, because it's a video game and who gives a shit.
-- Don't presume to know how I raise my children based on a fun little article I put together after laughing at my son's collection of soup ladles and his amazing attempts at making Link look like a Ninja.
-- "This guy needs to learn how to say 'no' to his son". You don't know me. You don't know my children. So yeah, back it up.

My USD .02. You shouldn't joke about not wanting your children, just like you shouldn't joke about divorcing your spouse. Some things should be sacrosanct.
 
Depending on how old the kiddo is...the solution is to hand him a controller that's not even plugged in and play the game yourself, with all your stuff nice and safe!

Heh, my kid is three and this no longer works. Even just this weekend, his cousins were playing four player Minecraft and he still knew that his controller wasn't doing anything.

My USD .02. You shouldn't joke about not wanting your children, just like you shouldn't joke about divorcing your spouse. Some things should be sacrosanct.

Or you could just realize the statement is absurd and understand that he's not seriously recommending it.
 
Seems to me like the guy's issue would have been easily solved if he had made a manual save in a boring looking area.

But then how would he write the article?
 
Tried this. Worked for some time after my son somehow realized he was no moving the main character and began to ask for my controller.

lol, I've done the opposite when they ask me to play coop (LEGO games) or multiplayer with them and I have other things to do behind their backs.
 
What? Having kids is the greatest blessing in a man's life. Fuck your game. Create him another profile, play to a point where resources are plenty and you are done. What a jerk.
 
Holy shit this is such a cruel idea lol

So the kid thinks they're playing but it's actually you mimicking their movements but not doing as much damage, wow.

Have you never done this trick before? You just play normally. Most kids don't understand that the character on screen isn't doing what they're telling them to do lol.
 

Kaleinc

Banned
Friends, my four year old son is single-handedly ruining my Zelda game.

jo4ZUjJ.png


Congratulations, unprofessional shit dad.
 

Jobbs

Banned
I don't see how it really matters. By the time I finished the game everything was so trivial I didn't feel like my in game belongings meant anything and there was nothing meaningful left to do anyway.

The most refreshing thing that happened was when I found that island -- late in my time with the game -- that made you start naked. That was the first interesting or moderately challenging thing that had happened in many hours.
 

Nepenthe

Member
I don't get how a fun little article like this could cause such a shitshow. I also bet some of you clutch pearls when Louis CK calls his own daughters assholes.
 

Not

Banned
Depending on how old the kiddo is...the solution is to hand him a controller that's not even plugged in and play the game yourself, with all your stuff nice and safe!

Brilliant. I remember being 4 and running around in Super Mario 64 not being sure of how much actual effect I was having on the game. Would've loved it if I thought I was actually doing something.
 

jroc74

Phone reception is more important to me than human rights
If your kids happiness rests on playing your game saves, then you might have bigger issues at hand. Good thing my kid can take no for an answer and go have fun doing something else, like playing with her legos, Minecraft or riding her bike.
You keep acting like him playing on his save is they only thing that will make him happy.

Where is this coming from?

So he has to say no, huh...

My kids can take no for an answer too. And I have done what this author has many of times.

There is also times I told them no about a game with my save.

I don't get it...

Its all about choices.
 
There's more than enough content to entertain a four year old on the great plateau. But I guess this guy lost the battle once his kid saw him using things like ancient arrows and urbosa fury... Still he has no one to blame but himself

I will say, though, that I did find the saving sysytem in BOTW to be a bit mystifying. I eventually came to the conclusion that the game would always keep your most recent manual save and overwrite everything else. But, again, its a perplexing system and I don't even know if what I just said is even true.
 

DemiMatt

Member
I mean the game has a way of providing too many weapons / arrows throughout. I just end up hoarding stuff to the point where I can't even pick up everything that drops.
 

CLEEK

Member
I've really dodged a bullet with my boys not fucking up my game saves. I drilled it into both of them from an early age.

My 5yo loves the living shit out of Zelda BotW, and I was surprised how easily he was making progress. I'd thought I'd either have to hand hold him, or let him play on my save, but he's been romping his way through the game under his own steam. He only asks for help reading the test during cut scene or when he finds new items.

Rather then my boys play on my save, every now and again I go into their games and spend a while gathering yellow heart/stamina ingredients and making a bunch of useful meals.

At least the Switch has easy to use and understand profiles with dedicated game saves. Unlike the 3DS, where you have to hope the game has multiple save slots. I've only had one disaster, where my nearly-at-the-end save for Luigis Mansion was accidentally deleted by my eldest.
 
I read this whole article as being rather tongue in cheek, and that while it would be frustrating, the author isn't actually suggesting people shouldn't have kids.

Wow did many apparently read it differently.
 

TLZ

Banned
Do people seriously mean it when they say "Don't have kids!". Like, would you have wanted your parents to think the same? And why not make him a different user profile?
Yea. They talk like they were born adults and kids are a different breed. These people wouldn't have existed if they applied what they said on their parents.

I know the author of the article is having a laugh, but many people actually mean it.
 

robochimp

Member
To me it sounds like the kid is playing the game the way it was meant to be played.

I've never stockpiled arrows and I've come to my game where my son has used them all up, who cares, he used them trying to interact with the game.

Use a soup laddle! it's really interesting to watch my 5 year old play, he's constantly trying to break the game. He'll line him self up by a zora guard, attack the guard, and because of where he put himself the guard will knock him off into the water below. That's the way BOTW is meant to be played. Go replace your ++ weapons there isn't much left to do in the game at that point anyway.

My son once handed me the 3DS and just said try and get out of the well(Ocarina of time) I take the 3DS only to see link at the bottle m of the well along with a freshly enraged cuckoo with its flock flying in well making using the ladder impossible.

Have kids and sit back in awe as someone who hasn't seen a single video gaming convention try and break them all.

Personally I thought 4 years old was too young for video games.
 

Painguy

Member
I read this whole article as being rather tongue in cheek, and that while it would be frustrating, the author isn't actually suggesting people shouldn't have kids.

Wow did many apparently read it differently.
same. too many ppl ready to get out the pitchforks
 

v1lla21

Member
Guy makes a light-hearted post about his 4yo kid playing games and gaf goes apeshit on him. From calling him names to saying he shouldn't be a father. Lmao yall trash, grow up. Article doesn't read like he is actually mad at all and regrets having a kid. It's just a story that he felt like sharing amd that other parents can relate to.
 
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