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[shanshan310]

If you're both getting bored and you've tried various means of putting "passion" back in your relationship for lack of a better term, then I guess I'd say put it on the back burner and go out and meet new people. I get that with the security you have in a long term relationship it's so much easier said then done, especially when you try to justify to yourself "it's been so long I have to make this work." But it sounds like you're not really doing yourselves any favors right now sticking together just because "it's been so long." And I understand, it's incredibly easy to stick it out because you know you get along more often than not, but if you're "best friends" rather than "lovers" you need to admit that to each other and figure out what you're going to do about it.

hm... but I'm not the one who is bored. I feel like he is though, and I want to fix things. I'm not giving up just yet ^^ I will think about what you said though, if things get to the point where the relationship is unsalvageable. I think the problem is partly, we get along when in person, but while exams are on we don't see each other as much - which is when he gets bored of me. I'm not thinking about an open relationship because I'm bored and want to see other people, more like I think we're both a little curious (though him moreso than me). I'm not sure whether being with just me is going to be enough for him. This might work as some sort of compromise.

The only question to ask is: are you happy? Lots of couples stay together only because it is comfortable. If you're happy, then great, but if you're just scared of being alone, it might be time to jump.

I really, really am happy.

 

[triplestation]

I now know what I must do. I must become Bruce Willis.

No way, hater. You gotta become JESSE PINKMAN.

Bald enough, sheeit.

 

[Devolution]

hm... but I'm not the one who is bored. I feel like he is though, and I want to fix things. I'm not giving up just yet ^^ I will think about what you said though, if things get to the point where the relationship is unsalvageable. I think the problem is partly, we get along when in person, but while exams are on we don't see each other as much - which is when he gets bored of me. I'm not thinking about an open relationship because I'm bored and want to see other people, more like I think we're both a little curious (though him moreso than me). I'm not sure whether being with just me is going to be enough for him. This might work as some sort of compromise.

Then you need to confront him and ask him if you can alleviate his boredom in any way. Maybe there is a spontaneity missing that used to be there.

 

[Atramental]

No way, hater. You gotta become JESSE PINKMAN.

Bald enough, sheeit.

Dude has more hair than me. ;_;

 

[triplestation]

Dude has more hair than me. ;_;

Or become Larry David and impress hot Lebanese chicks. Dude that chick he swooned in that one episode. My god.

 

[NihonTiger90]

Then you need to confront him and ask him if you can alleviate his boredom in any way. Maybe there is a spontaneity missing that used to be there.

That could very well be the case. Guys are stubborn like that when it comes to discussing problems from time to time.

 

[greyshark]

hm... but I'm not the one who is bored. I feel like he is though, and I want to fix things. I'm not giving up just yet ^^ I will think about what you said though, if things get to the point where the relationship is unsalvageable. I think the problem is partly, we get along when in person, but while exams are on we don't see each other as much - which is when he gets bored of me. I'm not thinking about an open relationship because I'm bored and want to see other people, more like I think we're both a little curious (though him moreso than me). I'm not sure whether being with just me is going to be enough for him. This might work as some sort of compromise.



I really, really am happy.

How can he get bored of you when he's not in contact with you? And has he ever had a girlfriend besides you? It's possible he was thinking about the idea of never dating anyone else in his life (like when you were discussing marriage) and it freaked him out a bit.

 

[shanshan310]

How can he get bored of you when he's not in contact with you? And has he ever had a girlfriend besides you? It's possible he was thinking about the idea of never dating anyone else in his life (like when you were discussing marriage) and it freaked him out a bit.

He's dated other people. I think its more like, he gets distracted thinking about other girls when I'm not around - but he's sure he's happy when we are actually together. He was the one who brought up marriage, but I guess its probable that the more he thought about it, the more worried he became about missing an important stage of his life - the one with partying and being young. I don't actually see how having a girlfriend means you miss out on any of that, but he seems to think it does.

Then you need to confront him and ask him if you can alleviate his boredom in any way. Maybe there is a spontaneity missing that used to be there.

I'll try He's more the stoic "I won't bother you with my problems" kind of guy, except it bothers me more because I can see there is a problem.. I'm sure I can get through to him though.

 

[Devolution]

I'll try He's more the stoic "I won't bother you with my problems" kind of guy, except it bothers me more because I can see there is a problem.. I'm sure I can get through to him though.

Been there. You gotta just get up the courage to say, "you don't want to talk then this relationship wont fucking work" in so many words.

 

[Coeliacus]

Splitting with my girl of 6 years is the best thing I ever did. We are both getting out there more and meeting new people, and doing new things. Our friendship now is healthier than it has been in the last few years.

I don't believe in 'the one' anymore, just the one that is right for me during any particular period of my life. I guess that's not a luxury that everyone has if you're set on having kids.

 

[blame space]

hey LadyGAF let's get to know each other

 

[SteveWinwood]

Communication is the key to life
Communication is the key to love
Communication is the key to us
There's over a thousand ways to communicate in our world today
And it's a shame that we don't connect
So if you also feel the need
For us to come together
Will you communicate with me?

 

[SRG01]

I guess what's shocking for me is that, while I value communication, this is the first time I'm in a relationship with a girl I wasn't friends with beforehand and having to balance getting to know her with communication and romance. This is really hard.

Coupled with my 11 or 12 hour work days and seeing her once a week, it's a wonder how it's still working...

 

[Lonely1]

Do you gals feel uncomfortable of being friends with a guy, that clearly fancies you, but you are not attracted to?

 

[Devolution]

Do you gals feel uncomfortable of being friends with a guy, that clearly fancies you, but you are not attracted to?

No unless he's made it clear he won't accept boundaries/just friendship. It's more awkward when I am attracted to him too, being in a relationship and all. I am careful about how I talk to and approach most guys though, comes with the territory.

 

[greyshark]

He's dated other people. I think its more like, he gets distracted thinking about other girls when I'm not around - but he's sure he's happy when we are actually together. He was the one who brought up marriage, but I guess its probable that the more he thought about it, the more worried he became about missing an important stage of his life - the one with partying and being young. I don't actually see how having a girlfriend means you miss out on any of that, but he seems to think it does.

If you started dating in early high school, would it be fair to say your relationship is the only serious one either of you have ever had? Being in college I imagine you're both meeting new people all the time, and the urge to try new experiences is very high (I know it was for me). Since you've been with each other for so long, you're probably very comfortable since you know each other so well.

But since your relationship is to the point where talk of marriage has begun, doubts will come with it. Is this really the right thing to do? Am I going to regret doing this 20 years from now? Do I really know what I want in my partner?

Obviously I don't know what's going through your bf's mind, but like others have said communication is the key here. If you don't feel that the two of you are on the same page, talking about it can only help.

 

[thisis4neogaf]

Do you gals feel uncomfortable of being friends with a guy, that clearly fancies you, but you are not attracted to?

I've been friends with guys who fell for me but didn't pursue it further than the one or two times they asked me out and that was good! As long as they can be mature about it and not make me uncomfortable by being awkward/shy/lovey-dovey/flirty when I've made it clear I'm not interested.

But I've also been friends with guys who persistently asked me out over several years, even though I made it plainly clear that I would never be interested in them romantically or sexually. Those are the guys that aren't actually friends. Don't be this guy.

 

[SRG01]

Do you gals feel uncomfortable of being friends with a guy, that clearly fancies you, but you are not attracted to?

As a guy with many female friends, they usually do not mind. However, like both genders, some will take advantage of this situation. And others will treat you nicely.

It depends on the woman, really.

 

[shanshan310]

Do you gals feel uncomfortable of being friends with a guy, that clearly fancies you, but you are not attracted to?

Depends on how good a friend he is, and how clear her makes it that he is attracted. I've had some really close guys who ended up being some of my best friends, though everyone said it was only because they fancied me. There is a line, and I draw it. As long as it doesn't get in the way of a friendship it doesn't bother me. Then again, I've had guys who I was sort of friends with who won't give up, and use the friendship as an excuse to continue hassling me about it. Like thisis4neogaf said, they aren't real friends. Its kinda creepy really. I think the key is that if she isn't interested, don't push it. Be happy with being friends or don't be friends at all. If you can't have her in a sexual way, cherish the relationship that you do have.

 

[Peasant Princess-King]

Do you gals feel uncomfortable of being friends with a guy, that clearly fancies you, but you are not attracted to?

Well... Its awkward, for sure, but you don't want to lead him on without rejecting him as a friend either. :/ I'm not into with messing with people's emotions like that. This has happened to me quite a few times and i was always really honest. I would alwats accept invites out as friends with a group but if it started to be a one on one thing, I would start to decline. It never got to a point to where I had to flat out reject a friend, but what helps is to focus their attention on other girls that were cute and would suit them well. It always worked out oh yea, matchmaker.

 

[maxxpower]

Don't know about that. I think a chick would dig a fit bald dude with blue eyes. Especially if he's got tattoos.

So I'm fucked since I have brown eyes?

 

[cooljeanius]

How does LadyGAF generally approach arguments with men? I've found that often times when I'm having what I consider a good-natured, purely intellectual argument with girls, they'll oftentimes get upset and take things personally. So I guess what I'm wondering is how I can get girls to take arguments/debates less personally.

 

[maxxpower]

Here's a scenario for LadyGAF.

A 5'7 guy with wild long hair, a bandana headband and a blatantly satanic band shirt approaches you. He introduces himself and asks you if you want to go out sometime.

Do you:

A) Ignore him
B) Tell him to fuck off
C) Tell him you'll think about it
D) Tell him you will go out with him

 

[shanshan310]

lol, I have a friend who has only dated guys who fit that description ^

How does LadyGAF generally approach arguments with men? I've found that often times when I'm having what I consider a good-natured, purely intellectual argument with girls, they'll oftentimes get upset and take things personally. So I guess what I'm wondering is how I can get girls to take arguments/debates less personally.

lol, the key is being tactful - something I have found many men lacking in. Girls (myself included) probably tend to take things personally because you have somehow insinuated something about her. Plus when you insult things close to them its easy to offend. A lot of arguments I had/ seen people have end in the guy being very confused and the girl being very offended. It doesn't help when the guy says "stop taking things personally". So, be tactful in what you say, think about how she might respond before you say it, and if you do offend her - even if you don't understand - apologise. Say you like debating with her and didn't mean to make it personal.

How do I personally approach arguments? I really dislike arguments, so my major goal is to end it as soon as I can. It obviously depends on the situation though.
EDIT: I LOVE debating though. I'm very opinionated when it comes to politics etc.

 

[Peasant Princess-King]

How does LadyGAF generally approach arguments with men? I've found that often times when I'm having what I consider a good-natured, purely intellectual argument with girls, they'll oftentimes get upset and take things personally. So I guess what I'm wondering is how I can get girls to take arguments/debates less personally.

Most people in general don't really know how to have a discussion based on debate without it getting heated. :/ I know women can sometimes get a little emotional when a debate topic pops up, but that could be more triggered by how something was worded and/or presented. I dunno, sorry for being vague... I just feel that if someone, not just women, feel passionate about something they can become less rational when you hit a soft spot or a chink in their argument and start to defend themselves because they feel vulnerable.

 

[Atramental]

Here's a scenario for LadyGAF.

A 5'7 guy with wild long hair, a bandana headband and a blatantly satanic band shirt approaches you. He introduces himself and asks you if you want to go out sometime.

Do you:

A) Ignore him
B) Tell him to fuck off
C) Tell him you'll think about it
D) Tell him you will go out with him

 

[Peasant Princess-King]

So I'm fucked since I have brown eyes?

Brown eyes are underappreciated. They can be so warm and inviting, but also dark and intense.
Blue/green eyes, while pretty, can be so cold sometimes and unapproachable.

 

[Prax]

An okay looking to mildly attractive guy approaches you and hits on you without being too gross. Are you

A - offended. Who is this stranger.
B - flattered. (I would be)
C - indifferent. Happens all the fucking time.

New Scenario:

An okay looking to mildly attractive bald guy approaches you and hits on you without being too gross. Are you

A - offended.
B - flattered.
C - indifferent.
D - embarrassed.
E - *breaks out the pepper spray*

B + D = Flattered and Embarassed.
Maybe a little bit of A too = IS HE MOCKING ME?! IS THIS A JERKY JOKE?!
I'd probably make polite or saracastic conversation, but I'd want to get away eventually and not have to giev oout personal info. xD

Here's a scenario for LadyGAF.

A 5'7 guy with wild long hair, a bandana headband and a blatantly satanic band shirt approaches you. He introduces himself and asks you if you want to go out sometime.

Do you:

A) Ignore him
B) Tell him to fuck off
C) Tell him you'll think about it
D) Tell him you will go out with him

E) Laugh in half shock and have a somewhat weird conversation. Then run away as usual.

I can tell my boyfriend gets kind of restless sometimes, and I admit I've been curious about what dating other people would be like, but this guy is my best friend. If we were to break up I really would have no one else who I was really close to. And you know, our relationship is still good. We've kind of been tossing up the idea of an open relationship recently, but I don't know. For one I'm kind of a jealous person, I don't think I'd be okay with him dating other people at the same time as me. For another thing I don't really no how to approach guys, and I don't know anyone who would be interested in me anyway (or at least not interested in sharing me), but there is no way I'd be down with sleeping with a stranger. But I think that if we could make this work for a few years we'd both be okay with settling down. He says he feels ten years older than he is. I really have no idea what the best course of action is, so if girl-gaf or guy-gaf could give me some ideas I'd be really appreciative.

He's dated other people. I think its more like, he gets distracted thinking about other girls when I'm not around - but he's sure he's happy when we are actually together. He was the one who brought up marriage, but I guess its probable that the more he thought about it, the more worried he became about missing an important stage of his life - the one with partying and being young. I don't actually see how having a girlfriend means you miss out on any of that, but he seems to think it does.

I'll try He's more the stoic "I won't bother you with my problems" kind of guy, except it bothers me more because I can see there is a problem.. I'm sure I can get through to him though.

I don't know him, so I can't say for sure...
But could it be possible that you think he's bored when he's actually just stressed from exams and stuff?

It doesn't sound like an open relationship would work with you two. I wouldn't try it, anyway.

You guys are still young, so he's probably just having bouts of commitmentphobia and all, but I figure he'll get over it eventually~!

Is he actually getting bored when he doesn't see you, or maybe it's just that you see each other too much? XD I'm always afraid that if I saw a guy every day (or even talked to him ont he phone every day), I would get bored extra fast. Seeing a guy maybe once a week gives time to recharge on new topics of conversation and things to do together. But maybe I'm just weird that way. Then 10 years of being together just feels like 3 years!

How does LadyGAF generally approach arguments with men? I've found that often times when I'm having what I consider a good-natured, purely intellectual argument with girls, they'll oftentimes get upset and take things personally. So I guess what I'm wondering is how I can get girls to take arguments/debates less personally.

Hm. I don't know. I like arguing and I like debating. And I probably won't take things personally as long as the debate is framed as a debate at the beginning. But I suppose if I find out an argument the other person believes in is really stupid, I will probably get frustrated. Stupidity is kind of frustrating. >_>

You probably need to remind the girl that you're purely doing this as an intellectual exercise and are not judging her based on it (though that may be hard if she has really differing views form you or.. actual reveals she's super ignorant and foolish). Most girls don't like arguing just for argument's sake though. It kind of ruins their sense of harmony. And then the many girls who DO love arguing like doing it to add drama, and it WILL turn into an emotionally-charged argument, which then takes it to a personal level, I guess.

 

[cooljeanius]

lol, the key is being tactful - something I have found many men lacking in. Girls (myself included) probably tend to take things personally because you have somehow insinuated something about her. Plus when you insult things close to them its easy to offend. A lot of arguments I had/ seen people have end in the guy being very confused and the girl being very offended. It doesn't help when the guy says "stop taking things personally". So, be tactful in what you say, think about how she might respond before you say it, and if you do offend her - even if you don't understand - apologise. Say you like debating with her and didn't mean to make it personal.

How do I personally approach arguments? I really dislike arguments, so my major goal is to end it as soon as I can. It obviously depends on the situation though.

Well, yeah, I don't ever specifically say "stop taking things personally" in those words, obviously that's too commanding. I get your point though. I guess it's hard for me being in college, where practically all of my assignments have to do with making logical arguments in some way or another, to not take this communication style home with me and use it for everything. Seriously, the way I talk some times when talking about everyday subjects can sound like my theses for the papers I write...

 

[Peasant Princess-King]

Here's a scenario for LadyGAF.

A 5'7 guy with wild long hair, a bandana headband and a blatantly satanic band shirt approaches you. He introduces himself and asks you if you want to go out sometime.

Do you:

A) Ignore him
B) Tell him to fuck off
C) Tell him you'll think about it
D) Tell him you will go out with him

Depends... Does he want me to be a sacrifice to the Dark Lord, or go for a cup of coffee?... Because I am down for coffee

 

[shanshan310]

I don't know him, so I can't say for sure...
But could it be possible that you think he's bored when he's actually just stressed from exams and stuff?

It doesn't sound like an open relationship would work with you two. I wouldn't try it, anyway.

You guys are still young, so he's probably just having bouts of commitmentphobia and all, but I figure he'll get over it eventually~!

Is he actually getting bored when he doesn't see you, or maybe it's just that you see each other too much? XD I'm always afraid that if I saw a guy every day (or even talked to him ont he phone every day), I would get bored extra fast. Seeing a guy maybe once a week gives time to recharge on new topics of conversation and things to do together. But maybe I'm just weird that way. Then 10 years of being together just feels like 3 years!

These are two very good points. I think that might be a good idea. Plan of action for this week: Stop talking so much and let each other focus on exams. I do run out of things to say when we talk everyday, I've started talking about assignments - no wonder he's bored Semester ends in 3 weeks anyway. I think I'll bring up the commitment thing with him then.

 

[ItWasMeantToBe19]

For guys with very red hair, do you think more girls prefer it long or short? I know everyone is different and unique and there will be differing opinions on how long the hair should be, but in general do you think one hair length will help more than others?

 

[Prax]

These are two very good points. I think that might be a good idea. Plan of action for this week: Stop talking so much and let each other focus on exams. I do run out of things to say when we talk everyday, I've started talking about assignments - no wonder he's bored Semester ends in 3 weeks anyway. I think I'll bring up the commitment thing with him then.

You are starting to just talk about homework/assignments? Okay.. yes.. that is boredom territory. xD You may be talking to him to procrastinate on studying or relieve stress or something, but maybe find something else to do to instead. When exams and homework are done, he might have a renewed "let's hang out and love each other and have fun" mindset.

For guys with very red hair, do you think more girls prefer it long or short? I know everyone is different and unique and there will be differing opinions on how long the hair should be, but in general do you think one hair length will help more than others?

I say if you have red hair, you need to show it off! So... a longer length is cool. I guess like uh.. I'm trying to find an example. Maybe like that Ron dude from the Harry Potter movies. Around that length. Nothing super short, anyway.
What lady wouldn't like to be able to run their hands though some nice fiery hair? Dashing~!

 

[shanshan310]

You are starting to just talk about homework/assignments? Okay.. yes.. that is boredom territory. xD You may be talking to him to procrastinate on studying or relieve stress or something, but maybe find something else to do to instead. When exams and homework are done, he might have a renewed "let's hang out and love each other and have fun" mindset.

Well, not specifically my homework, but more like "I learnt this neat fact today!" except I'm an Asian studies major and he's a film student so what I find interesting in terms of study he doesn't


I actually prefer shorter hair on red head guys. Something this length (definitely spiked up!) works well:

Sorry about the almost hilarious amount of watermarks.. you can still see the hair cut.

i probably prefer blondes and guys with really black hair, but there are a couple of good looking redheads around. What do guys think about girls with red hair?

 

[SteveWinwood]

You girls are mean giving all these guys in here false hope of not dying alone and sad.

Anyway I have hazel eyes, NOT BROWN, tell me how to show it off.

No, but really. Communication is key. If you can't even bring up the fact that you MIGHT have a problem then... well that's a problem. If you ask him about anything that made you go "oh hes bored of me now" he'll say "No where'd you get that from? I was just thinking about how ~insert 1 of 100000000s of things a guy thinks about randomly~" Most reasonable men CAN talk through things. But there is a clearly a communication breakdown somewhere. Fix it... by communicating! Just ask him straight up (this does not mean accuse him of what you think hes actually doing "OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU BORED OF ME") hey do you think that maybe our relationship is getting a little stale?

LETS GO TO THE PARK RIGHT NOW! OR A SPONTANEOUS ROAD TRIP TO ~ enter any exciting place nearby where you live ~!

 

[Atramental]

What do guys think about girls with red hair?

I'm not too picky when it comes to hair color but there's something about red headed girls that instills a sense of wonder in me.

 

[maxxpower]

Brown eyes are underappreciated. They can be so warm and inviting, but also dark and intense.
Blue/green eyes, while pretty, can be so cold sometimes and unapproachable.

I'll admit, my eyes are a rather warm shade of brown, warm yet opaque because I usually wear a black shirt. What color shirt would bring out the brown in my eyes?

 

[SteveWinwood]

I'll admit, my eyes are a rather warm shade of brown, warm yet opaque because I usually wear a black shirt. What color shirt would bring out the brown in my eyes?

Bright neon pink.

 

[maxxpower]

Bright neon pink.

I'm pretty sure I have a couple neon pink shirts lying around.

 

[Ken]

Is it a bad idea to get a female friend a PS3 for a birthday gift? She's a gamer and recently started thinking about getting a Blu Ray player so it seems like an okay gift, but I don't know if something like jewelry (or something "memorable") is more appropriate as a birthday gift for a girl?

 

[cooljeanius]

Is it a bad idea to get a female friend a PS3 for a birthday gift? She's a gamer and recently started thinking about getting a Blu Ray player so it seems like an okay gift, but I don't know if something like jewelry (or something "memorable") is more appropriate as a birthday gift for a girl?

Well as long as the gift is actually for her and not a gift for yourself in disguise, it should be okay.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Ugh. I always swore I would NEVER talk about my relationships on Gaf, but this discussion actually seemed oddly relevant. My gf of six years just dumped me like two weeks ago. I have been absolutely devastated. I thought she was my best friend, loved her more than anyone on earth, and expected to be together forever. The last six months were admittedly pretty rough, but I'm about to finish law school this year and don't know what I'm gonna do about work so I've been pretty depressed. She said I made her miserable for six months and that we were never "right" for eachother. I feel completely lost. I feel like an awful person for making someone I cared about so much feel that way. On top of it I feel completely useless that I can't even show I care about someone when I care so much. How can I ever show anyone I care about them then? Ugh. I'm moving out of our apartment tomorrow. Lived together for three years. This is the worst feeling ever.

There. I finally did the ONE thing I swore I would never do here. Ugh.

 

[Ken]

Well as long as the gift is actually for her and not a gift for yourself in disguise, it should be okay.

I have a PS3 at home so it's not for me lol. I have a 360 at my apartment which she likes to come over to play with (recently she's been into L.A. Noire). After reading that "Getting your girlfriend into gaming" thread in the gaming side, I noticed a lot of PS3 exclusives that I think she would enjoy (Valkyria Chronicles, Heavy Rain, Atelier Totori) so it seems like a good console to gift.

 

[Zoe]

Is it a bad idea to get a female friend a PS3 for a birthday gift? She's a gamer and recently started thinking about getting a Blu Ray player so it seems like an okay gift, but I don't know if something like jewelry (or something "memorable") is more appropriate as a birthday gift for a girl?

Wow, that's pretty expensive for someone who's a friend?

 

[Ken]

Wow, that's pretty expensive for someone who's a friend?

Well, she's helped me out a lot for the past 4 years of university (car rides to campus, helping me out with school work and when I had an emergency) so the cost isn't too much to me.

I have an unused 360S in my room that I thought about giving her, but I had opened it up to take the Kinect out of it so it doesn't seem like a really great gift. I'm also not sure if she'll enjoy the 360's library as much as the PS3's.

 

[blame space]

this one time i got really drunk and sent this girl a pair of panties from amazon.com

 

[blame space]

what i'm saying is you shouldn't buy a girl a playstation

 

[deadmeadow88]

yes you should.

 

[leadbelly]

I'll admit, my eyes are a rather warm shade of brown, warm yet opaque because I usually wear a black shirt. What color shirt would bring out the brown in my eyes?

lol

The colour of eyes...

What exactly is a warm shade of brown? I'd say my eyes are the darkest shade of brown you can get.

 

[alphaNoid]

Well, she's helped me out a lot for the past 4 years of university (car rides to campus, helping me out with school work and when I had an emergency) so the cost isn't too much to me.

I have an unused 360S in my room that I thought about giving her, but I had opened it up to take the Kinect out of it so it doesn't seem like a really great gift. I'm also not sure if she'll enjoy the 360's library as much as the PS3's.

A month late?
$299 price tag?

Sounds incredibly creepy and desperate. If she was really this great of a person to you like you say, you wouldn't have forgotten her bday right? What I'm getting at here is this idea of spending this much on a friend a female one is kind of clingy in nature. I dont even spend more than $20 on guys I"ve been friends with for over 20 years.

You cannot buy this girls heart with expensive gifts, save your money and buy her a card give it to her saying, "Happy Belated". It will have the same effect in the end. You'll thank me in 5 years and probably be giving some other guy the same advice.