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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF

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I know why girls get upset when a guy forgets their name (their projection of self-worth). But it still is a pain in the ass when they get bent out of shape when you forget their name. XD
 
Otrebor Nightmarecoat said:
Thanks for the great answers Londa, Devolution and shanshan310. A little more backstory: She says she can just be herself with me since im so open minded and can talk to her about anything without holding back. Also im brutally honest and tell her all the time shes beatiful and sexy. She likes the attention and tells me I know how to make a woman feel wanted. Truth is I too have feelings for her but have told her that when this ends Ill be allright and just continue on because I dont think anything will surpass the sexting. I think shes comfortable with this because its not physical, and you gals/guys are right, its denial and emotional cheating. I would be pissed if a girlfriend of mine do this behind my back but it also makes would make me think about what im doing wrong. I shouldnt do this and im an asshole but im at a low point in my life right now that reading about a hot chick thats masturbating thinking of me gets me out of bed and makes me try to better myself or at night seeing her on webcam in her underwear and smiling to me is comforting. I know thats no excuse and that i stick around because of the lingering feelings. I guess i want to be hurt again.
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Sounds like she is using you to boost her ego a bit. She sounds really sneaky and even if she broke it off with her boyfriend to be with you, what makes you think that she will not emotionally cheat on you with someone else? She doesn't seem to understand that being half naked on a webcam and sextexting as cheating. She still thinks she is being faithful. But now she has dragged you into the situation and if this continues I worry that you will get your feelings hurt.
 
Londa said:
... But now she has dragged you into the situation and if this continues I worry that you will get your feelings hurt.
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And you dont ever get used to that kind of pain. I got it, I need to end it. Knowing her, shell probably ask for the size of my dick and ill make it really awkward. Sounds like a great place to cut ties.

or just not responding or putting a stop to it now that I think about it
 
FemGAF, need some advice. I'll keep it short.

Girl and I get along really well. We flirt tons back and forth. During a screening ofthis one romantic comedy I make the casual joke to her that my love life matches that of the male lead in that it's a mess where I fall in love with girls who yadayadayada. Didn't talk for a week or so. Then I get an e-mail where she talks about how her love life is a complete and total failure as well, that its like this new romantic drama that's coming out. Well, that film isn't out yet but I invited her out to go see another film. She said she'd be busy with school most evenings but that she'd bef ree for a a mid-week afternoon screening.

A mid-week afternoon screening.

It'd be a first date but god that sounds like an incredibly low bar. What signal am I getting here? I'm getting the friendzone vibe from the movie time but it's really out of context with everything else she's said and done. Maybe it's just a way to test out the waters?
 
Do girls really like guys that can dance at clubs?

Say if I danced at a club and if I'm good at it. Do girls notice you? Do they look at you and do they expect you to come over and talk to them?
 
FortunateSon said:
Do girls really like guys that can dance at clubs?

Say if I danced at a club and if I'm good at it. Do girls notice you? Do they look at you and do they expect you to come over and talk to them?
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Girls notice good dancing.

Girls also notice when you're so good and absorbed with your dancing it's all the action you're going to get.

So, dance your little heart out, but take a break and talk to a girl...ask her to join you (please don't just grab her ass. That might get you maced).
 
I know its probably been said a million times but I've just come to the weird realisation that I lot of the guys I've fancied over the years haven't been that good looking. I mean, of course good looks is a plus, but really I find myself attracted to confidence. Knowing who you are, knowing what you stand for and being comfortable in your body and clothes. That is attractive. I think the dancing kind of plays into that. If you are a confident in dancing, even if you aren't that great, its a plus. Guys who aren't embarrassed about what other people think, that's what I see. Its not the dancing itself, to me anyway. You don't have to dance to get girls, but its a sign of that confidence.

On an off topic note, I've noticed that girls usually prefer either funny guys OR broody guys. There's usually not a mix of both. (sorry if I'm generalising girls - I know its not EVERYONE, but it is something I've noticed about mine/my friends' tastes). There is luckily a simple test you can do to find out: Ask them "Seth or Ryan?" .
 
shanshan310 said:
I know its probably been said a million times but I've just come to the weird realisation that I lot of the guys I've fancied over the years haven't been that good looking. I mean, of course good looks is a plus, but really I find myself attracted to confidence. Knowing who you are, knowing what you stand for and being comfortable in your body and clothes. That is attractive. I think the dancing kind of plays into that. If you are a confident in dancing, even if you aren't that great, its a plus. Guys who aren't embarrassed about what other people think, that's what I see. Its not the dancing itself, to me anyway. You don't have to dance to get girls, but its a sign of that confidence.
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That's what confidence should mean. When most people talk about confidence, what they're really saying is "You need to make all the moves, and look casual doing it". Being comfortable in your own skin and knowing what you stand for isn't enough, you can have all that and still not have any success. Confidence has become a sort of catch-all term though, it can make things pretty confusing.
 
shanshan310 said:
On an off topic note, I've noticed that girls usually prefer either funny guys OR broody guys. There's usually not a mix of both. (sorry if I'm generalising girls - I know its not EVERYONE, but it is something I've noticed about mine/my friends' tastes). There is luckily a simple test you can do to find out: Ask them "Seth or Ryan?" .
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Let me guess, Seth is the not so confident pessimist and Ryan is the outgoing optimist?
 
Atramental said:
Let me guess, Seth is the not so confident pessimist and Ryan is the outgoing optimist?
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Ahahahaha no.

Seth is the comic book geek. Ryan is the brooding blonde from the wrong side of the tracks.

I watched The OC ironically. Honest.
 
shanshan310 said:
I know its probably been said a million times but I've just come to the weird realisation that I lot of the guys I've fancied over the years haven't been that good looking. I mean, of course good looks is a plus, but really I find myself attracted to confidence. Knowing who you are, knowing what you stand for and being comfortable in your body and clothes. That is attractive. I think the dancing kind of plays into that. If you are a confident in dancing, even if you aren't that great, its a plus. Guys who aren't embarrassed about what other people think, that's what I see. Its not the dancing itself, to me anyway. You don't have to dance to get girls, but its a sign of that confidence.

On an off topic note, I've noticed that girls usually prefer either funny guys OR broody guys. There's usually not a mix of both. (sorry if I'm generalising girls - I know its not EVERYONE, but it is something I've noticed about mine/my friends' tastes). There is luckily a simple test you can do to find out: Ask them "Seth or Ryan?" .
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Wait I'm confused how do girls notice confidence?
 
Moppet13 said:
Wait I'm confused how do girls notice confidence?
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I'm no woman, but I can say with guys, it's pretty obvious: Walking with weight, shoulders squared, eye contact, no slouching or slumped posture, no hands in pockets, no stuttering in speech, no second-guessing vocabulary, etc.

Have you ever seen a guy and thought "awkward" ? Confidence is the exact opposite.
 
jaxword said:
I'm no woman, but I can say with guys, it's pretty obvious: Walking with weight, shoulders squared, eye contact, no slouching or slumped posture, no hands in pockets, no stuttering in speech, no second-guessing vocabulary, etc.

Have you ever seen a guy and thought "awkward" ? Confidence is the exact opposite.
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I can see that I come off as not very confident.
 
Moppet13 said:
I can see that I come off as not very confident.
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It's not the end of the world. Just work out a bit, smile a bit more, pay more attention to what people like to hear (we nerds are bad at this) and you'll build up charisma.
 
jaxword said:
It's not the end of the world. Just work out a bit, smile a bit more, pay more attention to what people like to hear (we nerds are bad at this) and you'll build up charisma.
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Yeah, I don't think anyone is worse at saying what people like to hear than me, I made someone at a poker game mad by talking about good etiquette.
 
jaxword said:
I'm no woman, but I can say with guys, it's pretty obvious: Walking with weight, shoulders squared, eye contact, no slouching or slumped posture, no hands in pockets, no stuttering in speech, no second-guessing vocabulary, etc.

Have you ever seen a guy and thought "awkward" ? Confidence is the exact opposite.
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hands in pockets I would categorise as more confident than not. But otherwise pretty much that.
 
Moppet13 said:
Wait I'm confused how do girls notice confidence?
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There are guys who go to bars/clubs, walk up to girls, and flat-out say, "Wanna go back to my place and FUCK?!" Most of the time it doesn't work, but eventually they'll find some girl who feels like letting her inhibitions go for the night. That's confidence.
 
jaxword said:
I'm no woman, but I can say with guys, it's pretty obvious: Walking with weight, shoulders squared, eye contact, no slouching or slumped posture, no hands in pockets, no stuttering in speech, no second-guessing vocabulary, etc.

Have you ever seen a guy and thought "awkward" ? Confidence is the exact opposite.
Click to expand...

Man, I have a natural stutter that comes up sometimes when I get excited =/
 
FortunateSon said:
Do girls really like guys that can dance at clubs?

Say if I danced at a club and if I'm good at it. Do girls notice you? Do they look at you and do they expect you to come over and talk to them?
Click to expand...

I remember one girl whom I tried to date. She said that if you want to know if a woman is good in bed you should watch her dance. And if you want to know if a man is good in bed you should watch how he drives a car. I don't know, just remembered that.
 
ScOULaris said:
There are guys who go to bars/clubs, walk up to girls, and flat-out say, "Wanna go back to my place and FUCK?!" Most of the time it doesn't work, but eventually they'll find some girl who feels like letting her inhibitions go for the night. That's confidence.
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That's being sleazy! There is a difference between being confident and being cocky.
 
Ultima_5 said:
Man, I have a natural stutter that comes up sometimes when I get excited =/
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Sometimes I'll fumble over my words, but a simple throat-clearing followed by "excuse me" tends to keep people from reacting poorly.
 
Professor Beef said:
Sometimes I'll fumble over my words, but a simple throat-clearing followed by "excuse me" tends to keep people from reacting poorly.
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Nah, you don't stutter, cough or say 'excuse me' or 'sorry' imo. Just, for once, FOCUS on thinking what you are going to say before you say it. Helps for me anyway.

In the time where I want to stutter or there's a gap in a conversation, I just look into her eyes, but in reality i'm in my head thinking what the fuck to say. To her i'm just smiling and gazing at her.

Seems to work, but if you go too long she'll either laugh in a 'wtf'/good way or be creeped out a little. It's then you snap out of it an say something like 'so, ' to segway into what you have been thinking to say.

Maybe lady gaf can advise me on this, but is it wrong to be totally crazy about a girl but when you talk to each other you do so in such a casual way that she would never know better?

I almost want her to make a first move. :lol I'm such a prick.
 
The more relaxed I am, the more likely I am to stutter. And not a little. :(

Put me in an extreme pressure situation and my eloquence often surprise even myself, though.
 
jaxword said:
I'm no woman, but I can say with guys, it's pretty obvious: Walking with weight, shoulders squared, eye contact, no slouching or slumped posture, no hands in pockets, no stuttering in speech, no second-guessing vocabulary, etc.

Have you ever seen a guy and thought "awkward" ? Confidence is the exact opposite.
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I stutter all the time :(

No wonder I'm not popular with the ladies.
 
I tend to clutter sometimes, not too badly anymore, but it happens when I get excited. Talking super fast yo.

Anyhoo, so birthday party is coming up, and at the party there are going to be a few singles girls I am mildly interested. One girl in particular maybe more than mildly. Anyway, party is at a dance bar, drinking first than dancing. I am getting pretty confident when it comes to talking to girls, but some advice wouldn't hurt. It's my birthday so I'll be the centre of attention, and most likely drunk off my ass (the rule with my friends is birthday person has to be stupid drunk without spending a dime) - should I try not talking to the girl I am interested in at all? Or just do it for as long as I am sober, then avoid her like the plague? I don't want my drunk all over her, I'm an idiot when I am drunk - not annoying I've been told, just an idiot.
 
Tkawsome said:
Lets be real here. Would you really judge a guy based of a stutter here and there? Or some minor signs that they're excited/nervous?
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No, of course not. A stutter can be cute. Confidence is not not having a stutter. Confidence is being okay with having a stutter.

Everyone gets excited and nervous. Its possible to be that and confident at the same time.
 
Kinitari said:
Anyhoo, so birthday party is coming up, and at the party there are going to be a few singles girls I am mildly interested. One girl in particular maybe more than mildly. Anyway, party is at a dance bar, drinking first than dancing. I am getting pretty confident when it comes to talking to girls, but some advice wouldn't hurt. It's my birthday so I'll be the centre of attention, and most likely drunk off my ass (the rule with my friends is birthday person has to be stupid drunk without spending a dime) - should I try not talking to the girl I am interested in at all? Or just do it for as long as I am sober, then avoid her like the plague? I don't want my drunk all over her, I'm an idiot when I am drunk - not annoying I've been told, just an idiot.
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Appoint a wingman who you trust to stay coherent enough to pull you out of dangerous situations. Otherwise, talk to her when you feel like you can hold yourself together, and do your own thing when you're so inclined.

Let people buy you drinks. As the (single) birthday boy, you get to ask for things like doing shots off of single girls' stomachs.
 
BladeWorker said:
Appoint a wingman who you trust to stay coherent enough to pull you out of dangerous situations. Otherwise, talk to her when you feel like you can hold yourself together, and do your own thing when you're so inclined.

Let people buy you drinks. As the (single) birthday boy, you get to ask for things like doing shots off of single girls' stomachs.
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I can do that?! Man, that's pretty awesome. I was told someone was going to substitute buying me something with a kiss for my birthday, but I have a strong suspicion it's going to be my roommate. But asking for shots off girls is awesome.

Okay, so what you're basically saying is, I can get away with being a bit more... forward, on my birthday?
 
BladeWorker said:
Appoint a wingman who you trust to stay coherent enough to pull you out of dangerous situations. Otherwise, talk to her when you feel like you can hold yourself together, and do your own thing when you're so inclined.

Let people buy you drinks. As the (single) birthday boy, you get to ask for things like doing shots off of single girls' stomachs.
Click to expand...

better idea? Appoint a wingwoman (preferably someone with a bf). Appoint a guy friend and he might try and mozy in on your girl while you're drunk.
 
Kinitari said:
I can do that?! Man, that's pretty awesome. I was told someone was going to substitute buying me something with a kiss for my birthday, but I have a strong suspicion it's going to be my roommate. But asking for shots off girls is awesome.

Okay, so what you're basically saying is, I can get away with being a bit more... forward, on my birthday?
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Provided you still obey the cardinal "no means no", sure, ask away. Particularly if you're ordinarily a bashful dude.

Edit: and yes, what shan said.
 
Moppet13 said:
Yeah, I don't think anyone is worse at saying what people like to hear than me, I made someone at a poker game mad by talking about good etiquette.
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Yeah, don't do that. Don't correct people unless they are super close to you and can accept criticism without getting offended. People, and I mean this for men and women, like to FEEL GOOD about themselves around you, not feel bad.

If you want a woman to like you, she has to like being around you. What woman wants to be around someone who makes them feel bad about themselves (unless they have self-esteem issues, which is another topic altogether)?

I'm ugly as hell but I still manage to get dates with girls I have no business dating and are out of my league. Now remember I'm not saying I'm a relationship expert or a long-term marriage counselor adviser by a long shot, I'm just a regular college guy and I screw up all the time.

You just need to make people want to be around you, and that means making them feel good.

Try it. Try complimenting people out of the blue. Don't make it obvious or awkward. Do male or female. Like...well, since you mentioned poker, maybe practice casually going "Haha, man that was some good bluffing :) " or whatever. It really doesn't matter what you say, the fact is that it has to be positive and MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD.
 
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