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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

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U

univariate

Banned
Akara said:
Welcome to dark side ;).

All jokes aside, thank yourself for being honest and looking inside. It's something super incredibly difficult to do and well you don done it! Baby steps, coming out or coming to terms with whom you are attracted to is difficult at first, but acceptance is the first step! -shoots confetti in air-
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Thank you. And thanks to those with kind words.

It's definitely a difficult step, but it's good to not be in denial anymore. I just need to find an elegant way to present my sexual orientation...
 
T

TanookiTom

Member
Akara said:
I think tinder is more geared towards straight identifying individuals seeking dates or something while Grindr is more geared towards the s word.

sandwiches.
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What makes you think that? Gays use Tinder just as they use Grindr. Grindr is much more about sex, sure, lot's of no-face/upper body pictures in there. Plus it shows you guys nearby, so a lot of quick hook-ups there.

Tinder on the other hand works differently. You can only use your Facebook pictures in there so that prevents most people from the no-face approach. Plus it doesn't even show you if the other person is online right now and doesn't filter guys by distance. So that's a big difference there.

Still I've been able to find tons of gay guys on Tinder.
of which I should be ashamed, because I promised to myself that I'd wait longer to sign-up anywhere after my relationship ended :-/
 
B

Bladenic

Member
ZombiePlatypus said:
So I'm about to do the final trial of Danganronpa. I swear this game feels like Celebrity Big Brother UK meets Yuri Kuma Arashi, and I'm kinda in awe of it.

I think I'm stuck tho. I can't for the life of me figure out where the fuck the dorms on the 2nd floor that I'm supposed to investigate are.

Still, what an insane experience.
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Omg you're about to meet icon
 
O

Orniletter

Banned
Aarglefarg said:
Tinder is for everyone, not just straight people. But I hear Tinder is mainly for hookups too, probably less so than Grindr. But I don't use either of them. I've thought of trying Tinder lately though.


Welcome.
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Oh, my friend said Tinder was more about dating /meeting people than straight up sex, but maybe she really was just lucky (she's been with her current boyfriend since mid last year and he was the third person she met through Tinder)
Or maybe it's a region thing ? Idk
Yeah, I'm interested too.

univariate said:
Thank you. And thanks to those with kind words.

It's definitely a difficult step, but it's good to not be in denial anymore. I just need to find an elegant way to present my sexual orientation...
Click to expand...
I can't overstate how much this thread has helped me personally. It's not even like I'm particularly active as a poster or anything, but just reading helped a lot.
It's definitely a process of acceptance.......and my parents and entire upbringing are/was very liberal, I can't even imagine how it would be to grow up in a super religious/conservative family. *shudder*
 
K

Kevyt

Member
So I got two dates with two guys for the weekend and I'm not excited or looking forward to them. I'm just feeling meh...

I don't see the point of dating now that I think about it, but at least I'll potentially make friends. ^.^
 
F

fernoca

Member
Seath said:
So I got two dates with two guys for the weekend and I'm not excited or looking forward to them. I'm just feeling meh...

I don't see the point of dating now that I think about it, but at least I'll potentially make friends. ^.^
Click to expand...
And you're going out with two?
I can't even date one. Don't be selfish!!!


:p
 
K

Kevyt

Member
fernoca said:
And you're going out with two?
I can't even date one. Don't be selfish!!!


:p
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Not at the same time, no lol.

But one is on Friday, the other one on Saturday.

To me it's one of those "can you believe it?" kind of moments tbh, both guys are really sweet in their own way but I think none of us have anything in common sadly.

I'm also thinking that both of them could be going out with guys way way better than me, so I am kind of honored to be frank.
 
3

3phemeral

Member
I can't imagine how different my dating life would have been had I had access to these now-ubiquitous, seemingly essential dating apps. Easier access theoretically sounds like a good thing, but in such a hypersexualized, image-critical environment? RIP my self-esteem.


I held out from using a smartphone for so long, I imagine I would have gotten into far more trouble than I ever did before. These stories you all are sharing makes me feel a bit if relief that I got out of the ocean just before that cultural wave hit.

Seath said:
So I got two dates with two guys for the weekend and I'm not excited or looking forward to them. I'm just feeling meh...

I don't see the point of dating now that I think about it, but at least I'll potentially make friends. ^.^
Click to expand...

Just enjoy yourself with no expectation. :) Good friends are hard to come by and you may be surprised by them.
 
A

Akara

Banned
TanookiTom said:
What makes you think that? Gays use Tinder just as they use Grindr. Grindr is much more about sex, sure, lot's of no-face/upper body pictures in there. Plus it shows you guys nearby, so a lot of quick hook-ups there.

Tinder on the other hand works differently. You can only use your Facebook pictures in there so that prevents most people from the no-face approach. Plus it doesn't even show you if the other person is online right now and doesn't filter guys by distance. So that's a big difference there.

Still I've been able to find tons of gay guys on Tinder.
of which I should be ashamed, because I promised to myself that I'd wait longer to sign-up anywhere after my relationship ended :-/
Click to expand...

I have a lot of gay friends who don't use tinder here and a lot of straight friends who use tinder so I'm going by personal anecdote just like you ;).

And don't be ashamed <,< we've shamed ourselves to long being the closet, be happy that you're ready to move on! lol.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
3phemeral said:
I can't imagine how different my dating life would have been had I had access to these now-ubiquitous, seemingly essential dating apps. Easier access theoretically sounds like a good thing, but in such a hypersexualized, image-critical environment? RIP my self-esteem.


I held out from using a smartphone for so long, I imagine I would have gotten into far more trouble than I ever did before. These stories you all are sharing makes me feel a bit if relief that I got out of the ocean just before that cultural wave hit.



Just enjoy yourself with no expectation. :) Good friends are hard to come by and you may be surprised by them.
Click to expand...

Thanks!

And all the dating I have done has been with no dating apps so far. I just happened to ask guys for their number and on rare occasions, every blue moon, they ask for mine. My advice: go to the gym and be flirtatious at school and or work even if you aren't good at it, lol.

Ummm yeah... ^.^
 
A

Akara

Banned
3phemeral said:
I can't imagine how different my dating life would have been had I had access to these now-ubiquitous, seemingly essential dating apps. Easier access theoretically sounds like a good thing, but in such a hypersexualized, image-critical environment? RIP my self-esteem.


I held out from using a smartphone for so long, I imagine I would have gotten into far more trouble than I ever did before. These stories you all are sharing makes me feel a bit if relief that II got out of the ocean just before that cultural wave hit.
Click to expand...

Oh lord when I used dating apps for the first time, I felt like I was at a meat market, people rating me (OKcupid matches you up with people who rate you high and discreetly tells you someone rated you high) We're more than just numbers, and people who were tens where more like fours once I met them <_> And it just made me self conscious when people would view my profile and what'd they think lol. But now I just have adopted this dgaf mentality and it truly boosts your confidence and people feel it and see it. And trust me you're much happier. I feel that apps do help with those who don't exactly have a gay villa to go to, but over here, it definitely has become less romantic and more like sliding through bios, seeing if their picture is cute and rating them on a scale, I don't think that's the mentality people should have :/

Seath said:
Thanks!

And I'll the dating I have done has been with no dating apps so far. My advice: go to the gym and be flirtatious at school and or work even if you aren't good at it, lol.

Ummm yeah... ^.^
Click to expand...

Oh god you're telling gay men to be flirtatious at school? I mean I know some of you are talented at it, but mind you we didn't have the same upbringing as straight people (e.g. they were allowed to flirt openly in high school, MS with their crushes, we ain't, no practice there) gaydar is a LIEEE lol, (how to know if they're gay) we weren't exactly established or allowed to do any of that till we came out.

We need to establish like a gay/bi men guideline book on how to determine someone is possibly gay or checking you out.

1. Ask them if they're gay, if yes, yay, if no, its ok

2. If they look at you multiple times when working out and you notice, they're probably checking you out or there's a hot chick working out next to you. #thestruggle.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
univariate said:
After much reflection on myself I've decided to finally come to terms with the fact that I am attracted to men. I guess I'm just so timid to have gay sex or meet someone in a discreet way. I literally haven't told a soul about my homosexuality as I've just now decided to embrace it.
Click to expand...

Joeku said:
Echoing a similar idea to a few posters ago, I have been talking to a bunch of users on Grindr for the first time tonight. Hoping it goes somewhere interesting over the next few days when I'm sober enough to appreciate it.
Click to expand...

Welcome!
 
3

3phemeral

Member
Akara said:
Oh lord when I used dating apps for the first time, I felt like I was at a meat market, people rating me (OKcupid matches you up with people who rate you high and discreetly tells you someone rated you high) We're more than just numbers, and people who were tens where more like fours once I met them <_> And it just made me self conscious when people would view my profile and what'd they think lol. But now I just have adopted this dgaf mentality and it truly boosts your confidence and people feel it and see it. And trust me you're much happier. I feel that apps do help with those who don't exactly have a gay villa to go to, but over here, it definitely has become less romantic and more like sliding through bios, seeing if their picture is cute and rating them on a scale, I don't think that's the mentality people should have :/
Click to expand...
The thing is, this sort of thing happens in person like a bar or a club anyway. But the difference is that it tends to be a discreet, non-recognizable action (unless the person wants to be an asshole about it). But these apps can quantify and rank you locally, nationally, worldwide; it's very in-your-face about elevating other people's opinion of you. You're right that for some, I imagine they grow thicker skin but for those who don't. Tumultuous waters indeed.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
This guy I met and I have the same first name.

I'm so happy because it gave me something to talk to him and get his digits.

I was actually scared to talk to him because he's very... ummm... for the lack of a better word, twinkish looking lol. Those type of guys I find scary to talk to.

So I guess finding something to make conversation with someone you like and at least you'll make a friend.

I made a friend today, I'm happy. o/
 
A

Akara

Banned
Seath said:
This guy I met and I have the same first name.

I'm so happy because it gave me something to talk to him and get his digits.

I was actually scared to talk to him because he's very... ummm... for the lack of a better word, twinkish looking lol. Those type of guys I find scary to talk to.

So I guess finding something to make conversation with someone you like and at least you'll make a friend.

I made a friend today, I'm happy. o/
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Why do twinks scare you o:

and congrats haha
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
12227203_904940239595437_1206526138800667103_n.jpg

f5149c7383.png
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Ugh Steve needs to marry me. Let me buy some of his art and hope he sends a love letter with it.
 
Monocle

Monocle

Member
univariate said:
After much reflection on myself I've decided to finally come to terms with the fact that I am attracted to men. I guess I'm just so timid to have gay sex or meet someone in a discreet way. I literally haven't told a soul about my homosexuality as I've just now decided to embrace it.
Click to expand...
Nice to have you here.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Interface23 said:
Twinkish guys are the best lol.
Click to expand...

I read this as Turkish guys.

Akara said:
Like you and your age wat.

People consider me a twink and I hope I don't scare people off.
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I just want to be a mysterious old man with a long coat and a classy hat that gets approached by hunks.

Also, intimidating would be the correct word imo.

Oh and too late you've been scaring away too many guys already I'm sure. ;)

You see, it goes like this, if I see a really cute guy I turn around and run away as if I had seen the devil.

It works every time. :p

Monocle said:
Nice to have you here.
Click to expand...

It's nice to have you here too Monocle!! <3

Your hunk posts and knowledge in hunkology give me life. :3
 
I

Interface23

Member
So i was bummed around my mom today and she was just randomly like "You and your girlfriend break up? You seem upset." And just randomly after that she was like "If so you'll find a new girlfriend or boyfriend." Not sure how she knows, never told her...
 
A

Akara

Banned
Seath said:
I read this as Turkish guys.



I just want to be a mysterious old man with a long coat and a classy hat that gets approached by hunks.

Also, intimidating would be the correct word imo.

Oh and too late you've been scaring away too many guys already I'm sure. ;)

You see, it goes like this, if I see a really cute guy I turn around and run away as if I had seen the devil.

It works every time. :p
Click to expand...

Oh god that's the same for me, I see a cute guy I turn and run away :(

Oh god I hate it because I'm a passive person at heart and I never make the first move and if somehow I "intimidate" someone away, we'll probably never happen.

That's when I knew I had to make the first move, and now I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We might have not happened if I didn't make the first move.


Moral of the story, Don't be afraid!

Question time:

How do you approach someone you're interested in or let someone know you're interested? I'm curious, did you know they were gay already? Didn't? I have some hilarious stories where they weren't gay... bwahhaa
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Interface23 said:
So i was bummed around my mom today and she was just randomly like "You and your girlfriend break up? You seem upset." And just randomly after that she was like "If so you'll find a new girlfriend or boyfriend." Not sure how she knows, never told her...
Click to expand...

That sounds like the best case scenario to me. She might not know and simply doesn't to assume you're straight (how I think all parents should be).
 
A

Akara

Banned
Interface23 said:
So i was bummed around my mom today and she was just randomly like "You and your girlfriend break up? You seem upset." And just randomly after that she was like "If so you'll find a new girlfriend or boyfriend." Not sure how she knows, never told her...
Click to expand...

Mothers just know, they raise you and love you and you have to be a completely oblivious mother to not know if your son is hurting or not or is gay/bi (unless you were PRO af at hiding it)
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
Interface23 said:
So i was bummed around my mom today and she was just randomly like "You and your girlfriend break up? You seem upset." And just randomly after that she was like "If so you'll find a new girlfriend or boyfriend." Not sure how she knows, never told her...
Click to expand...

Maybe she saw your internet history lol.
 
I

Interface23

Member
Akara said:
Question time:

How do you approach someone you're interested in or let someone know you're interested? I'm curious, did you know they were gay already? Didn't? I have some hilarious stories where they weren't gay... bwahhaa
Click to expand...

The only gay experiences I've had were never relationships unfortunately, just friends randomly being like "I'm bored.... Wanna do stuff?" And it always turned into "nah bro I'm not gay I was seriously just bored so no I won't date you"

Just saying if you have sex with dudes in anyway you probably are at least a little gay. If I was straight I wouldn't go anywhere near a mans mouth or junk.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Monocle said:
High five! <3
Click to expand...

Low five! :3

Akara said:
Oh god that's the same for me, I see a cute guy I turn and run away :(

Oh god I hate it because I'm a passive person at heart and I never make the first move and if somehow I "intimidate" someone away, we'll probably never happen.

That's when I knew I had to make the first move, and now I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We might have not happened if I didn't make the first move.


Moral of the story, Don't be afraid!

Question time:

How do you approach someone you're interested in or let someone know you're interested? I'm curious, did you know they were gay already? Didn't? I have some hilarious stories where they weren't gay... bwahhaa
Click to expand...

Congrats on your two year relationship! Two years as boyfriends that's a long time for young people imo... lol.

As far as approaching someone? Well I like to compliment guys I really like, it has worked. Get a conversation going and if there's mutual interest then there's hope, lol

Akara said:
A+ mother tbh, my mother went bat sht when I told her and became Catholic when she was Buddhist. LOL
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Wow really?

Interface23 said:
The only gay experiences I've had were never relationships unfortunately, just friends randomly being like "I'm bored.... Wanna do stuff?" And it always turned into "nah bro I'm not gay I was seriously just bored so no I won't date you"

Just saying if you have sex with dudes in anyway you probably are at least a little gay. If I was straight I wouldn't go anywhere near a mans mouth or junk.
Click to expand...

Hmmm... I'm not so sure about the last part. Ever heard of brojobs? LOL

Spiritreaver said:
He's a pretty cool guy. I've talked with him on Skype a couple of times. He loves himself some Chun-Li.
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Hi DarthWufei!

Who doesn't like chun li's legs? Her leg day is OP tbh.
 
G

Golnei

Member
Akara said:
A+ mother tbh, my mother went bat sht when I told her and became Catholic when she was Buddhist. LOL
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I feel like there's some context I'm missing, but either way; that's troubling. Becoming more religious seems like a common reaction, but I've never heard of people converting completely.

Monocle said:
That's like the dream scenario tbh. Even a minor gesture of understanding and acceptance would have made a world of difference for me growing up.
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Almost literally a dream scenario. I used to go through similar conversations in my head constantly - by the time I actually told them; I had half-convinced myself it'd play out like that, from misinterpreted statements and wishful thinking.

Of course, it'd didn't turn out anywhere near as well, but it could have been so much worse.
 
A

Akara

Banned
Golnei said:
I feel like there's some context I'm missing, but either way; that's troubling. Becoming more religious seems like a common reaction, but I've never heard of people converting completely.
Click to expand...

I kid you not, she started putting Jesus pictures in her home and we were a Buddhist household so I was as confused as you were. I think she just had an identity crisis.
 
I

Interface23

Member
Seath said:
Hmmm... I'm not so sure about the last part. Ever heard of brojobs? LOL
Click to expand...
Yea yea ok. But the one guy I really liked knew I was bi and super in to him and after a few times of mutual "bro jobs" was like "nah dude I'm straight no dating, we can still do stuff though" and I was just like fuck that...

Kinda why I stick with girls even though I like guys slightly more
 
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