Ended up losing my temper at my mother today. She was passive-aggressively attempting to force my sister not to look (not necessarily go;
look) into the Air Force. I got fed up with them arguing and screamed at the two of them. She got over it a couple hours later (my sister laughed it off) but I still feel crappy for it.
That's what I try to do, keyword try
All that matters. Even I lose my shit sometimes. (as noted above)
Dreams are weird. Lately I've been having more continuity of awareness during sleep, it's strange how much the 'stage' changes, and how much stuff is liminal or between sleep and waking.
2/3rds of mine end with me being hunted, dying or in the process of horrible mutilation (like last night when I dreamed I was barfing giant intestinal parasites that looked like a cross between an Ascaris worm and a Lamprey)
I want this one:
I don't think I'm buying many more, to be honest (who am I kidding, I want Mega Man, Pac-Man, Ike, Robin, Dr. Mario, Kirby, Dedede, Jiggs and Pikachu).
That's a lot already.
That said I'm not going to be buying many either, mostly because it's a pain to find ones that are satisfactory as far as Quality Assurance goes.
I went to the urologist today. I felt the pain last Friday. He asked me to have an ultrasound to be sure if it's indeed a testicular torsion (honestly I hope it is, since the alternatives seem to be even worse), and told me that it could lead to me losing a ball. Yeah it sounded horrible.
A friend of mine had a testicle removed a few months due to testicular cancer, but my balls seem pretty okay, no lumps or anything. But that pain... second time in my life I fainted.
Ack. That's never fun. Just have faith and be responsible (and cautious!) and everything should turn out fine!
NEVER post in this thread (I think I have 2 posts among all the OTs), but...
I kinda accidentally came out tonight to some people I never had the courage to do it to, and they were totally cool with it!
I freaking hate coming out to people, because it kills me on the inside building up to it, and EVERY TIME, the reaction is "we knew" or one of general indifference. I'm taking years off my life with this stress, and I'm the only one who actually cares.
Ah, good to see more of my friends here!
I used to have much the same problem, mostly when I wasn't still out to my whole family.
Nowadays I always remind myself that if they don't like it they're not worth holding onto as friends. Rejection is hard, yeah, but I frame coming out more as a test of someone else's friendship to you. If they don't accept the reality, they were never really your friends because their friendship was contingent on their own assumptions about you, if I'm making sense. Or to say it with more brevity: Reject them because they only accept an image.
