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[kablooey]

OK, so I'm off at college now, hundreds of miles away from home. I've met people, but only people who've introduced themselves to me, which is to say that I haven't met anyone terribly interesting. I can't get myself to go out on a limb and make an introduction to someone I think might be interesting, especially girls.

I thought I was past this after my first couple of years of high school, but I guess not. Any tips on how to adopt a no-lose mindset when it comes to meeting people? Because I can't seem to do it on my own...

 

[demon]

I thought this was going to be about the Radiohead movie.


As for the actual topic, I agree. I wasn't exactly at the social development level I should have been when I entered college, but meeting people and especially making friends was extraordinarily more difficult for me than I thought it would have been. It sucked. I'd give anything to do it over. Don't fuckin blow it like I did.

 

[SlickWilly223]

I usually just meet new people exclusively at partys, because there aren't any other places to really meet "new" people.

Other than that, make yourself available. You don't sound like you're making yourself very confident/approachable. Smile once in a while, say things to girls at convinient times, get their attention in anyway possible. These are things you're supposed to learn in highschool dammit.

Always bring a lighter with you. If someone needs a light, burn one up with him/her and make some small talk. That's the easiest and most fun way to make small talk.

Make it a zippo so you have something to talk about.




And start smoking weed with other people, too. =p

 

[SlickWilly223]

Also, having a larger than normal penis will also make you more confident, so start jelqing or something. =p

If girls don't want to talk to you, just point to your crotch and say "YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS BABY" and start shaking your hips violently.

 

[demon]

Also, having a larger than normal penis will also make you more confident, so start jelqing or something. =p

Dude, he's just talking about making friends, not becoming a manslut. :lol

 

[Boogie]

I'm just here to echo demon's and kablooey's sentiment. I really only had the opportunity to make friends with the people on my res floor last year.

 

[SlickWilly223]

Fuckbuddys are friends too!

 

[Go Go Ackman!]

http://sosuave.net/forum

Be a man about it.

 

[kablooey]

Don't fuckin blow it like I did.

Gee, thanks for the advice. :rolleyes Would anyone mind being a little more helpful, please?

I'm fairly sure I know what "the problem" is...I'm trying far too hard to meet individual people. For example, today at the football game, I was sitting next to a girl that I thought was cute. I kept trying to think of some way to introduce myself, but I couldn't without feeling like an awkward fool. So I left her alone. What I'd like is for some advice on how to not be so self-concious about this...

edit: Oh, and hey, I smile plenty. I'm even generally a happy person. But smiles alone won't attract anyone. You usually have to say something too.

 

[hXc_thugg]

Alcohol.

 

[SlickWilly223]

Gee, thanks for the advice. :rolleyes Would anyone mind being a little more helpful, please?

I'm fairly sure I know what "the problem" is...I'm trying far too hard to meet individual people. For example, today at the football game, I was sitting next to a girl that I thought was cute. I kept trying to think of some way to introduce myself, but I couldn't without feeling like an akward fool. So I left her alone. What I'd like is for some advice on how to not be so self-concious about this...

Hmm, feeling akward around women? I too have that problem, but the akwardness is really in my pants. See this thread if you're having issues like that. =p

Don't think about it. Turn your brain off or something, I don't know. In reality, the only way to meet new people and get them to like you is if you're fun to be around. Are you fun to be around? If you're not, then it's going to be difficult making new friends, my friend. (But I'm not a "real" friend, so don't think you just made a new friend and your worries are over -- THEYRE NOT!!!1)

And Demon's comments about "...don't blow it like I did.." is the best advice you're going to get from anyone in this thread. Don't make similar mistakes he did, he's a cool guy but he didn't meet new people in college and as a result he regrets it all. After reading his posts you should have alread drop kicked you computer monitor, ran outside, and started talking to new people by now.

 

[Firest0rm]

Try to think of a reason for you introducing yourself to that person. I just started Univesrity too, so for me I try to meet people in lectures and outside lectures. When I'm in a lecuture, I try to get to know people sitting around me before it starts or after its done. Ask them about what program they are in and why they're taking this class or attending this Uni/College. Try finding a suitable converstion for the situation you are in. First two weeks are the best times to just meet new people. Go on a introducing spree, meet as many people as possible. Also going to frosh week helps alot. I met 100 people from my frosh week.

 

[pnjtony]

just be forward. Extend your arm and say hi, meeting people is tough so I'm just gonna do it this way...my name is...

if they ignore you, just say, "fair enough" and move on.

 

[Wellington]

I'm not gonna touch the girl thing, as each guy has his own approach.

Meeting people in general, though, quite easy. Just seem approachable and nice, remember names, and when you're ready, go up and meet people. Personally, I think the one thing that has really helped me a lot is my ability to remember people's names. Every time you see someone who's name you know greet them by their name. People do seem a lot more interested in talking to you.

What I did at work was simple, some guys would have stickers on their hard hats or other insignias, so I just struck up conversation about that. In college, people tend to wear a lot of... interesting shirts and other apparel.

I mean just be fearless. Unlike with a girl you may like, what do you have to lose?

 

[Deg]

Try to think of a reason for you introducing yourself to that person. I just started Univesrity too, so for me I try to meet people in lectures and outside lectures. When I'm in a lecuture, I try to get to know people sitting around me before it starts or after its done. Ask them about what program they are in and why they're taking this class or attending this Uni/College. Try finding a suitable converstion for the situation you are in. First two weeks are the best times to just meet new people. Go on a introducing spree, meet as many people as possible. Also going to frosh week helps alot. I met 100 people from my frosh week.

Yeah i know what i'll be doing on Freshers week and beyond in this respect. I wont be that nervous because we are all new and i'll be on 'get to know people' mode for the first month or so anyway I hope the people and atmosphere are good in the place where i am going. Anyway i will be joining clubs and socieies too. That should help find people with some similar interests. If there's an event, i'm there

 

[Lathentar]

Join an organization!

 

[FoneBone]

I've had difficulty getting to know people outside of my dorm, too. If you keep seeing people around that you don't really know, don't feel embarrassed asking their names.

 

[Zilch]

Join clubs. Even ones that you aren't particularly interested in.

Best advice anyone can give, IMO.

 

[Matlock]

Just start singing the Marshall fight song.

You'll have pepole all around you really soon.

Spoiler

you do go to WVU, don't you?

 

[The Shadow]

OK, so I'm off at college now, hundreds of miles away from home. I've met people, but only people who've introduced themselves to me, which is to say that I haven't met anyone terribly interesting. I can't get myself to go out on a limb and make an introduction to someone I think might be interesting, especially girls.

I thought I was past this after my first couple of years of high school, but I guess not. Any tips on how to adopt a no-lose mindset when it comes to meeting people? Because I can't seem to do it on my own...

Just think of a dumb thing to ask him or her about. Most people that find it hard to meet people find it hard because they don't know how to open a conversation. Once it's open though, just follow through.

For example, have you seen a girl that's been in a few of your other classes? Ask her if she also takes so-and-so class because you thought you recognized her and if she caught what the homework was because you forgot to write it down.

Stupid stuff like that is all you need really.

*edit*

Don't feel bad if you find it difficult to meet new people. I do too and I blame it on how I was brought up. Every year up until I hit middle school, I was transfered to a new school. Though K-5, I was actually in 7 different schools. So until I hit middle school, I never really learned how to make friends or anything like that because every school was different for me. I never had any real neighborhood friends either for the same reason.

But after high school, I've found that most people are fairly sociable and nice if you treat them the same way. Just have a positive attitude and smile when you approach and introduce yourself and things will work out much easier than you'd suspect.

 

[CajoleJuice]

Seriously, I'm in the same position right now too. Just listen to what these guys have been saying. Don't stay locked up in your room. One of my friends just locks himself in his room and he's miserable. I actually haven't talked to him in a while...
Anyhow, just go to people and introduce yourself, if the person is a dick about it, who gives a shit, just move on to another person.
Usual questions I use...Where are you from? What classes are you taking? What dorm are you living in? That sort of shit. I'm basically almost past the meeting people stage. I already know a bunch of people and a group of friends. Get on that dude. College is a social experience. Enjoy it while it lasts, or end up like demon.

 

[Slo]

or end up like demon.

I think it's funny that this is the worst case scenario. Sorry demon.

 

[Mason]

I hate to be cliche, but alcohol man. Don't go getting shitfaced or anything but have a couple drinks to loosen yourself up and just go out and do something. Eventually you'll see someone and start talking. Last night for example, I hit on the cute waitress at the restaurant which is something I rarely have the balls to do when I'm sober.

 

[Mason]

And I think I should add that I wouldn't take the advice of just randomly asking generic questions like "Where are you from?" and whatnot. It's better to think of something more creative if you don't want to come off as boring.

 

[White Man]

Alcohol

and Joy Division. This combination of tasty vices will attract the coolest kids. Bonus points for saying how you "totally relate" to 24 Hours and Heart and Soul.

 

[kablooey]

and Joy Division. This combination of tasty vices will attract the coolest kids. Bonus points for saying how you "totally relate" to 24 Hours and Heart and Soul.

:lol See, this is part of the problem. If there were actually any people around who knew who the hell Joy Division were, I might be in better shape. As it is, I can't do small talk...I can only talk about things that I'm interested in, such as music.

And yes, I have used alcohol to meet people. They were all mostly upperclassmen though, who I doubt I'll ever see or even recognize anytime soon. So, I don't think that counts.

Anyhow, I do appreciate the advice, everyone.

edit: Matlock, no, I'm not in WV anymore. I've moved on to bigger and better things.

 

[Chipopo]

I think it's funny that this is the worst case scenario. Sorry demon.

:lol Man, sorry Demon.

 

[White Man]

See, this is part of the problem. If there were actually any people around who knew who the hell Joy Division were, I might be in better shape. As it is, I can't do small talk...I can only talk about things that I'm interested in, such as music.

Problematic, but I am sure you are a superior enough specimen to overcome such rudimentary dilemmas. I offer you more sage advice of the learned White Man: All the top-of-the-pyramid cool beans social climbers are using drugs. As a matter of fact, all the cool people ever used drugs. Sinatra? Drugs. Elvis? Drugs. Stevie Nicks? Drugs. That creepy Bonaduce thing from the Partirdge Family? Drugs. . .and his mother was probably prenatally taking drugs. It's the only explanation for his super-coolness. It's the only explanation for a lot of things. As evidence, I offer this photograph:

Wait a minute. "To Mike, I'm hot??" What an egotistical little pissant. I am revolted. Mike Works, was something going on between you and pubescent Bonaduce?

 

[ChumsGum]

Make direct eye contact, smile, then say hello. If they seem friendly then introduce yourself. Never forget that you always have a commonality to start conversation with, it's the fact that you are in the same class/school.

 

[kablooey]

Well, so much for all the whining. I decided to take a bus ride over to the main campus just after my last post, and while waiting for the bus to arrive at the stop, I introduced myself to a super-cool/super-cute girl who was apparently a year older than me. I even found out what clubs she's in, and got her name, so there's a very high probability I'll see her again. We talked for the whole bus ride, and somehow I didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable or awkward.

Another GAF success story. And I didn't even need to take the drugs.

 

[SlickWilly223]

Well, so much for all the whining. I decided to take a bus ride over to the main campus just after my last post, and while waiting for the bus to arrive at the stop, I introduced myself to a super-cool/super-cute girl who was apparently a year older than me. I even found out what clubs she's in, and got her name, so there's a very high probability I'll see her again. We talked for the whole bus ride, and somehow I didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable or awkward.

Another GAF success story. And I didn't even need to take the drugs.

I'll be waiting for my check in the mail.

 

[MIMIC]

I think 99% of the time, I don't formally introduce myself. I just start talking about something random (something we just saw/heard/will be doing/read about/etc.)...and if they seem friendly enough to continue the conversation, then I just go with it.

This is kinda a bad way though, because I've made dozens of nameless friends.

Usually (if I REMEMBER ) I'll, in a friendly way, just ask, "Hey, what's your name?" Then, we exchange names and whatnot.

Sometimes, when you're with a group of people (like I was at college orientation last month), the "vocal" person will just have everyone say their names, so it kinda all works out.

Just some tips on how I tend to socialize.

My brother has a real knack (and I think, an actual gift) for socializing. I mean, how he gets people interested in him is truly amazing.

 

[kablooey]

People just approach me. It maybe my stunning good looks or boyish charm, my wry smile, my perfectly coifed hair, my fashionable clothes, my amazing sense of humor. I think it is a combination of all of the above, choice e if you will. I am the complete package. Really though the older I get and more secure I get the more it seems people flock to me.

Girls are so easy. If I weren’t so in love so many of the female variant of out species would be bedded by me.

:lol :lol When's the last time you saw the sunshine? I would imagine it'd be hard to, with your head so far up your ass.

 

[Firest0rm]

Are you good looking? That makes a big difference.

People just approach me. It maybe my stunning good looks or boyish charm, my wry smile, my perfectly coifed hair, my fashionable clothes, my amazing sense of humor. I think it is a combination of all of the above, choice e if you will. I am the complete package. Really though the older I get and more secure I get the more it seems people flock to me.

Girls are so easy. If I weren’t so in love so many of the female variant of out species would be bedded by me.

wtf. Bogdan do you go to York University?

 

[Boogie]

wtf. Bogdan do you go to York University?

If he does then it's a shame he doesn't have the intellect to match those good looks.

 

[MIMIC]

Are you good looking? That makes a big difference.

People just approach me. It maybe my stunning good looks or boyish charm, my wry smile, my perfectly coifed hair, my fashionable clothes, my amazing sense of humor. I think it is a combination of all of the above, choice e if you will. I am the complete package. Really though the older I get and more secure I get the more it seems people flock to me.

Girls are so easy. If I weren’t so in love so many of the female variant of out species would be bedded by me.

Dick-riders aren't true "friends."

 

[SlickWilly223]

I believe Bogdan. I too am cursed with charmingly good looks.

 

[Boogie]

Laugh it up laughster mcgee but in about 15 minutes i am hitting the clubs with beautiful people while you are posting :lol on message boards.

I am straight but have kissed and danced (grind) with gay men before. What does that make me? I really don't know, I am not attracted to guys, but I am really comfortable around them. I don't know....Thinking out loud.

Well, I don't think I'm going to be all that jealous of you dancing with those beautiful people tonight.

 

[Firest0rm]

Hey man it is vogue, fashionable, it is all good, I am comfortable with my sexuality and all it entails. Thing is I will be sleeping with a gorgeous girl tonight, go ahead and look up the post your pics thread that got locked.

You still haven't answered my question man, do you go to York University in Toronto?

 

[kablooey]

If bogdan's a joke character, he's good. One of the better ones I've seen in fact.

 

[The Shadow]

Another GAF success story. And I didn't even need to take the drugs.

Good for you!

Told you it was easy once you get past the awkward opening.

 

[demon]

I think it's funny that this is the worst case scenario. Sorry demon.

lolwtf

I'm not totally a worst case scenario. If I were still living like I was two or three years ago and continued to, then yeah, I'd be close. The old me would be playing multiplayer Raven Shield every weekend night by myself until 3 in the morning then weep into my pillow in self-loathing as I cry mself to sleep (slight exaggeration). Last night I spent the 'evening' (until 2 or so) in my apartment with a chick getting drunk and laughing it up as we invented the most bizarre drinks you could imagine (let's just say one involved almost setting my kitchen counter on fire) and other shit. So yeah, maybe she was picked up by her boyfriend when the night was over (who spent four hours sitting in a Denny's waiting for her to call....ooook), but hey, better than nothing. What sucks is that I met her in a class last january.....and now I'm pretty much out of college, so no more classes for meeting people. I'm incredibly comfortable around her and she's always giggling and laughing when she's with me, but meeting new people is a bitch for me. So, lord knows what she's doing now, but I'm in my apartment alone tonight.

Lately I'd spend nights like this going out to see a band on the Terrace behind the union (you'd know what I'm talkign about if you went to UW Madison) or some shit like that, but that gets old after a while. I was thinking of maybe watching City of God and doing some crunches. Then crankin one out and going to bed. Yeah, that sounds good.

 

[Matlock]

edit: Matlock, no, I'm not in WV anymore. I've moved on to bigger and better things.

Marshall? I kid, I kid. Where'd you wind up, bud?

 

[Mike Works]

Start talking to women you're attracted to, even if you've never met them. You'd be surprised how this bridges into meeting new women!

 

[yoshifumi]

bogdan's posts in this thread are hysterical, even if they are for real. :lol

 

[GDGF]

You want new friends? Throw a freaking party and post flyers around campus announcing it (be prepared for the chaos that follows though)

Try to get a keg. If you're too young to buy one, find some older dude to buy it for you.

You'll then be known as that cool guy who through the kegger at the freshman dorms. Oh, you'll make lots of friends after than.

 

[Cool]

OK, so I'm off at college now, hundreds of miles away from home. I've met people, but only people who've introduced themselves to me, which is to say that I haven't met anyone terribly interesting. I can't get myself to go out on a limb and make an introduction to someone I think might be interesting, especially girls.

I thought I was past this after my first couple of years of high school, but I guess not. Any tips on how to adopt a no-lose mindset when it comes to meeting people? Because I can't seem to do it on my own...

Be one of those attention whores.

 

[maharg]

I think 99% of the time, I don't formally introduce myself. I just start talking about something random (something we just saw/heard/will be doing/read about/etc.)...and if they seem friendly enough to continue the conversation, then I just go with it.

This is kinda a bad way though, because I've made dozens of nameless friends.

Usually (if I REMEMBER ) I'll, in a friendly way, just ask, "Hey, what's your name?" Then, we exchange names and whatnot.

Sometimes, when you're with a group of people (like I was at college orientation last month), the "vocal" person will just have everyone say their names, so it kinda all works out.

Just some tips on how I tend to socialize.

My brother has a real knack (and I think, an actual gift) for socializing. I mean, how he gets people interested in him is truly amazing.

Don't forget to remember the rap lyrics they like!