Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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Happy birthday, Cooper!

Guess who's gonna fail chem 1000 miserably? This guy. Holy shit I'm stressing so bad right now. Almost cried in the lecture. Jesus what have I done to myself.
 
Windam said:
Happy birthday, Cooper!

Guess who's gonna fail chem 1000 miserably? This guy. Holy shit I'm stressing so bad right now. Almost cried in the lecture. Jesus what have I done to myself.
Click to expand...

It's only the first week.
Why do you think you're going to fail?
 
Windam said:
Happy birthday, Cooper!

Guess who's gonna fail chem 1000 miserably? This guy. Holy shit I'm stressing so bad right now. Almost cried in the lecture. Jesus what have I done to myself.
Click to expand...
What are you guys learning right now?

And happy bday Cooper! :D
 
So, I missed the call from my new job opportunity while I was at work... I called back at my first available moment, which happened to be about 5 hours later at about 2:15pm... I got the talent manager's answering machine and she didn't call back today. Now I've been beating myself up wondering if I said something dumb on the voicemail I left.
 
Collete said:
It's only the first week.
Why do you think you're going to fail?
Click to expand...

Have you ever just gone to something and known it wasn't for you, or it seemed like a lost cause? I walked into the lecture and there was a ton of stuff we were expected to already know (high school stuff and even stuff we didn't cover in high school). I forgot most of that stuff. The the prof jumped straight into the lecture, and he went so fast it made copying down notes from his slides impossible. Luckily the slides are on the class site, but they're so basic that I'm kicking myself for not writing down the slide # and what he was saying in my notebook.

MooMoo said:
What are you guys learning right now?

And happy bday Cooper! :D
Click to expand...

Gases.

thoseAREmySHOES said:
So, I missed the call from my new job opportunity while I was at work... I called back at my first available moment, which happened to be about 5 hours later at about 2:15pm... I got the talent manager's answering machine and she didn't call back today. Now I've been beating myself up wondering if I said something dumb on the voicemail I left.
Click to expand...

Maybe you should call back at a different time?
 
COOPER HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday from MikeDip to Cooper. I hope you have fun!
 
Windam said:
Have you ever just gone to something and known it wasn't for you, or it seemed like a lost cause? I walked into the lecture and there was a ton of stuff we were expected to already know (high school stuff and even stuff we didn't cover in high school). I forgot most of that stuff. The the prof jumped straight into the lecture, and he went so fast it made copying down notes from his slides impossible. Luckily the slides are on the class site, but they're so basic that I'm kicking myself for not writing down the slide # and what he was saying in my notebook.

Gases.
Click to expand...
If the prof is talking too fast and the things he says are actually important/not in the slides you might want to record lectures. If you have a smartphone just use that or you can invest in a recorder. Or if you notice someone else recording the lecture you can ask them if they would mind sharing it with you. But the way you feel about this chem1000 course is the way I feel about my network security course. So much technical babble I don't know what the heck to write down or what's even relevant and the slides aren't too helpful either.

Anyways I'm part biochemistry major so hopefully my chem skills aren't too rusty and I can offer some help if you ever need it.
 
Wanting to spit out the jarred thoughts is
Because there's no other proof of my existence
My future that I should've grabbed hold is
Conflicting between "dignity" and "freedom"
Wanting to erase the distorted afterimage is
Because I'll see my limit over there
In the window of the excessively self-conscious me
There are no dates in last year's calendar
Click to expand...

*sigh*
 
With envy, I read about other people's families. Big families. Mother, father, siblings, siblings with kids of their own, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Some good, some bad but at least they're something. I don't really have much of a family. I have my mom (who is great), a dad I don't speak to, a grandma I talk to every month or so and then a whole bunch of cantankerous aunts who didn't have any children. And there's my schizophrenic sister, who lives by herself in a government-assisted building and she doesn't recognize anyone. So basically, when bad shit happens to me, my mom is really the only one who is there.

This is why I find the dynamic here so utterly fascinating. It's existed longer than I have but in just three months, it really does feel like a family has been constructed and as time goes by, the feeling just gets stronger. This is especially obvious in mumble where people bounce off each other in a way that can only exist with utmost familiarity.

It isn't just a fascinating sociological study (for those so inclined). It gives me hope. I've seen what the strength of this community can do. I've had people bombard me with messages when I'm feeling like I'm at the end of my rope. I've seen people try to make other people laugh (and frequently succeed). I've had letters sent to me. I've had crazy Canadians try to bribe me (and everyone else) to come to Toronto. Many want (and are working out plans) to see each other.

It's no secret that I could compete with Bagels for who is the sappiest on this forum. But regardless of the mush, the feelings are genuine or we wouldn't all be here, spending as much time with each other as we do.

Play Ys, people. It's good for you. And don't give up.
 
Sub_Level said:
.
Click to expand...

Went to see the counselor yesterday, and I actually really liked her! I think this will be productive and beneficial to me, as opposed to my experiences with counselors in the past which have boiled down to the fluff of me lamenting my issues for an hour with no real progress. Cancelled the ct scan and followup, however. I do not believe I'm in a position where meds are necessary. At the very least, I know there are changes I can make in my life that I'd like to cross out before going that route.
 
jb1234 said:
With envy, I read about other people's families. Big families. Mother, father, siblings, siblings with kids of their own, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. Some good, some bad but at least they're something. I don't really have much of a family. I have my mom (who is great), a dad I don't speak to, a grandma I talk to every month or so and then a whole bunch of cantankerous aunts who didn't have any children. And there's my schizophrenic sister, who lives by herself in a government-assisted building and she doesn't recognize anyone. So basically, when bad shit happens to me, my mom is really the only one who is there.

This is why I find the dynamic here so utterly fascinating. It's existed longer than I have but in just three months, it really does feel like a family has been constructed and as time goes by, the feeling just gets stronger. This is especially obvious in mumble where people bounce off each other in a way that can only exist with utmost familiarity.

It isn't just a fascinating sociological study (for those so inclined). It gives me hope. I've seen what the strength of this community can do. I've had people bombard me with messages when I'm feeling like I'm at the end of my rope. I've seen people try to make other people laugh (and frequently succeed). I've had letters sent to me. I've had crazy Canadians try to bribe me (and everyone else) to come to Toronto. Many want (and are working out plans) to see each other.

It's no secret that I could compete with Bagels for who is the sappiest on this forum. But regardless of the mush, the feelings are genuine or we wouldn't all be here, spending as much time with each other as we do.

Play Ys, people. It's good for you. And don't give up.
Click to expand...

If it makes you feel any better, my family situation is somewhat similar- I really feel you. Except it's my mom who is schizophrenic and is taken care of by the government and I unfortunately just lost my last living grandparent last month. It's just my dad and I trying to help my mom when we can. I'm an only child so I look to people I care for and who care for me as a sibling relationship of sorts.

Due to career and life choices, I have to move every few years, so DepGAF is very close to my heart as a family. You guys rock! <3
 
Sigh, I failed my first quiz for Probability and Statistics class. One question, 10 minutes to finish it, 10 points. I failed because I got the wrong edition of the book. Even though the questions are similar, but they're different. And that's why I failed. I was angry and still am.
 
MisterLuffy said:
Sigh, I failed my first quiz for Probability and Statistics class. One question, 10 minutes to finish it, 10 points. I failed because I got the wrong edition of the book. Even though the questions are similar, but they're different. And that's why I failed. I was angry and still am.
Click to expand...

Yet another reason why textbooks are scams. Don't punish your students for getting the wrong edition of a textbook.
 
I don't really know how to explain this. I just decided that I should act like I'm fucking awesome this week. You know, confident, make people smile. Approach people. Stop worrying. All of this while still being me.

I think it's working.

It's not easy, the nagging thoughts in the back of my head still get's a little to much say. Especially during night time. But I have this pounding beat playing in my head all the time but I only treat myself to actually hearing it a few times per day. I long for a new day when I can put my headphones on and start walking to work. I get to hear it exactly three times before I get there. It also helps that it's cold enough to grant the use of a jacket. It's ridiculous how much of a boost that jacket gives me. I've never had a piece of clothing in my life do that for me before.

So d-gaf, here's the tune: https://soundcloud.com/piercefulton/pierce-fulton-10-6-that-should

Sawap!

(Happy belated birthday cooper)
 
Glad to hear you're making progress swecide. I'm going through the same thing. It seems a bit short changed in this situation to use the phrase "fake it 'till you make it" but putting yourself in that mindset is hugely important to making it a reality.

That's a good jam too. I can see why it's giving you that feeling of taking on the world.
 
Collete said:
And OT is filled with one sided people that go along with a general consensus. GAF is brilliant.
Click to expand...

Is it weird that so many of us find the mental health thread to be a little pocket of sanity on this forum? :P Well, not sanity exactly, but you know what I mean.
 
Bagels said:
Is it weird that so many of us find the mental health thread to be a little pocket of sanity on this forum? :P Well, not sanity exactly, but you know what I mean.
Click to expand...

It's less judgmental and more informed. You won't see (many) people coming in here talking about how you can just suck it up and who are grossly misinformed about mental illness in general.
 
Wilsongt said:
It's less judgmental and more informed. You won't see (many) people coming in here talking about how you can just suck it up and who are grossly misinformed about mental illness in general.
Click to expand...

Yeah we swarm on them usually and chase them off. ;)
 
Wilsongt said:
Yet another reason why textbooks are scams. Don't punish your students for getting the wrong edition of a textbook.
Click to expand...

Its partly my fault because I knew what edition I'm supposed to have. I checked out the 5th edition at the library. I didn't want to buy the eighth edition because I didn't receive my financial aid yet. And the book is expensive. My instructor posts the sections for those who haven't bought the book but I was too stupid to figure out that the problems were different.
 
Hey mental health Gaf, been awhile I know. Hope everyone is doing ok, I've been decent I guess. Really wish I could stop personalizing every little thing, I make way too many illogical assumptions dealing with people because of it. Kinda pissed off since I missed my appointment with a vocational counselor, thought my case manager set up my transportation, guess not. I at least called my case manager and the counselor, got stuff set up for next week. So I handled the situation effectively as opposed to avoiding the problem and retreating to my room. So that's something . . . still anxious as fuck about the whole thing.

Also, Happy birthday Agent Cooper!

Mort said:
nevermind
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Feel free to vent man, there's nothing wrong with doing that here. I read your post before the edit, and I can definitely relate. You're not alone with problem. It sucks, but I try not to dwell on it, because it's not constructive. Simply makes me feel bad/worse. I'm trying to have more compassion for myself, but that is hard. Fucking shame spirals are still a problem, but I'm getting better at catching myself.
 
Today, I want to write a little bit about ClassyPenguin. Sam covered most of the basics but I just wanted to say that it's been such a joy to get to know Penguin over the last few months. He is a goldmine of information (which gives him the enviable ability to piss off the more unintelligent members of GAF), has a wonderful wit and is just a really nice, pleasant guy to joke with. And he somehow puts up with my constant, lavish drooling (because let's face it, he's an attractive man).

I haven't yet decided where he falls on the crazy D-Gaf family tree (wild, flamboyant cousin? Older, wiser brother?) but I do know that things would be a lot less interesting (and fun) without him around.
 
Hi DepGAF,

Been a lurker for a while but shit just stepped up a notch & I could really do with getting some "stuff" off my chest.

Suffered with depression for 15 years ( fluoxetine for the last 5) but kind of had it rough from early so I'll give a brief outline.
Mom was an alcoholic & dad a coward, I'm the eldest of 3 so thought it my duty to take most of moms rages. Mom & dad split when I was 10 and mom tried to stab me at 11, at that point I left leaving my brother & sister in the firing line :( my sister soon followed with me at my gran's & sis at my aunts.
But I had a constant feeling of "why weren't we loved?" "What did we do so wrong" and that with living with a very older generation who's ideals were not to show love I felt lost.

I then got in with local lads a fair bit older than me & within 3 months I was jacking smack, it was my comfort, my love, basically everything I wasn't getting from a family perspective.

Moved on 9 years, a hell of a lot of money wasted, 4 friends lost to the reaper, I finally get through a rehab & 6 months later meet the woman of my dreams. She's the total opposite to me, straight as a dye, no drama. I get my career back on track(electrical engineer) we get married have kids,life is good.

My 3rd child is born, all was well through pregnancy but at birth issues arise, very poorly, the doctors thought he had Edwards syndrome but turns out he had has hypoplastic left heart syndrome ( half a heart) & a rare chromosome disorder (mircodeletion 12q).

We're told to expect the worst but my son survives his 1st 2 ops & does well, but due to his 1st stage being delayed 3 weeks whilst docs found a diagnosis his lungs are weak due to the drugs keeping his heart duct from closing.
Now we're facing his 3rd & final stage of surgery & thought it was a given, but yesterday his surgeon told us his lung pressures are too high to be a candidate!
This means 18months max from now if he hasn't improved/grown were looking at palative care (my son doesn't eat due to facial aversion) so not looking too good ( he's 3 & 1/2 now).

Now I've tried to be strong all my life & be strong for my wife but I can't hide behind the facts anymore & make it sound ok ( usually my wife panics and I back the situation up with the facts and were good etc).

Now because of the life changes I've made my support network has dwindled to nothing over the years, my life is work/carer/father/husband & gaming is my escapism but with this latest news I'm losing my way alittle and depression is back upon me ( after everyone went to bed yesterday after the hospital I put a bottle of scotch down my neck).
So guys as a snap to it, I'm sounding off on you good people.

Thanks for listening,

Paulie.
 
SHADES said:
Hi DepGAF,


Paulie.
Click to expand...

Thats my name, bro! *brofist*

But for real, thats some really sad stuff and nobody would ever blame you for being depressed about it. That is one of my worst nightmares. It'll be a tough time but down the line you will be OK. As long as you try to surround yourself with as much support as needed, whether it be from your family, friends, and even here. Feel free to unload on this thread as much as you need to, nobody will ever think less of you for it, in fact, we encourage it. You can even join the DepGAF IRC chat: Here. A lot of good people in this thread.

DepGAF now has your back!
 
Lionheart1827 said:
Thats my name, bro! *brofist*

But for real, thats some really sad stuff and nobody would ever blame you for being depressed about it. That is one of my worst nightmares. It'll be a tough time but down the line you will be OK. As long as you try to surround yourself with as much support as needed, whether it be from your family, friends, and even here. Feel free to unload on this thread as much as you need to, nobody will ever think less of you for it, in fact, we encourage it. You can even join the DepGAF IRC chat: Here. A lot of good people in this thread.

DepGAF now has your back!
Click to expand...

Brofist back at ya,

Thanks for your kind words and I might add I don't expect anyone to offer advice on my worries, I guess what I'm looking for is to re-align coping strategies etc.(Counselling is at least 6 months away) I've done a bunch of cognitive behaviour therapy but do you think I can remember it now? My mind is whirl of mist right now.

But just getting it off my chest helps, thanks for listening.
 
Anyone else here with OCD wanna talk about what triggers stuff for them or what they are OCD about? Mine is really bringing down my mood today, it's stronger than it's been in a long, long time. Hopefully it just passes with sleep/time.
 
MikeDip said:
Anyone else here with OCD wanna talk about what triggers stuff for them or what they are OCD about? Mine is really bringing down my mood today, it's stronger than it's been in a long, long time. Hopefully it just passes with sleep/time.
Click to expand...

With which behaviors would you say your OCD manifest itself?
 
Insomnia is flaring up the past few days. Taken ambien each of the last three nights and it's making both me and my girlfriend upset. Seems like every time I get better and come close to kicking the pills I end up with problems again. Just worrying worrying worrying, trying to sleep without the pills, counting how long I have before I have to take the pills if I want to have enough time to sleep and not be a total zombie. Also the past few days I kept having these songs I was writing stuck on loop in my head to the point of exhaustion. Scheduling another trip to the psych for Monday, but all the psychs I've been too are pretty aggressive about using pills and usually chastise me for feeling so guilty about taking them. I want to be pill free...
 
Lonely1 said:
With which behaviors would you say your OCD manifest itself?
Click to expand...

Mine mostly deals with checking things, it's like I don't trust my brain and when the compulsion gets strong enough it's almost impossible to ignore.

An example is like.. I'll be lying in bed and wonder "Do we have milk?". Then eventually that eats at me until I need to get up and check. I'll check, get back in bed and then like 10 minutes later have to check again. I know the milk didn't go anywhere, I know it should be there... but I just need to go check to make sure.

This usually repeats until I get upset with myself. The feeling of anger usually lets me fight off the compulsions.

It usually happens randomly and is always about checking stuff.. dates, where things are, if I locked the door, etc.
 
Welp, made a profile on a dating site. Partly because my psychologist thinks it would be good for me to meet someone, if only a friend. The clubs/organizations at my university I'm interested in are either terribly organized or meet on a day I don't have classes. :\ (I have to drive 40 miles to campus.)
 
Femmeworth said:
Welp, made a profile on a dating site. Partly because my psychologist thinks it would be good for me to meet someone, if only a friend. The clubs/organizations at my university I'm interested in are either terribly organized or meet on a day I don't have classes. : (I have to drive 40 miles to campus.)
Click to expand...
Meetup.com was recommended to me. Better than a dating site.
 
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