User 479360
Banned
Haven't put it up because I'm too afraid of it failing. There aren't a lot of young families around here anymore.
Plus, I don't know who I'd send it to, how to write a petition up, etc.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
Haven't put it up because I'm too afraid of it failing. There aren't a lot of young families around here anymore.
Plus, I don't know who I'd send it to, how to write a petition up, etc.
DiddysKongQuest
Member
The worst thing that could happen is that your Internet is a slow as ever. You should give it a try.
I don't think a partition needs more than a nice little text about what you want to achieve and a place where people can write their personal data down. Online partitions are probably even easier to set up.
I'm little embarrassed to be posting this, but I could use some advice. Over the past few years I've developed an extreme fear of the world ending. I don't know if it qualifies as a phobia, but it is driving me insane. I've even fantasized about killing myself if any of these apocalyptic scenarios came true. I don't consider myself suicidal, I've certainly never tried to, it's just me thinking about a situation where the world is a living hell and that death is preferable to living in it.
I constantly check the news/GAF on my phone, I keep my smartwatch set to send me news alerts. Everything scares me, war, outbreaks, natural disasters, economic turmoil. Anytime these types of stories hit the news and my mind immediately goes to the worst outcome. The anxiety is constant. I've called in sick on occasion when something particularly stressful occurs. I sometimes wonder if I'll live to see the next week or month.
I've thought about seeing someone but no amount therapy or meds can change the reality of the world.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I constantly check the news/GAF on my phone, I keep my smartwatch set to send me news alerts. Everything scares me, war, outbreaks, natural disasters, economic turmoil. Anytime these types of stories hit the news and my mind immediately goes to the worst outcome. The anxiety is constant. I've called in sick on occasion when something particularly stressful occurs. I sometimes wonder if I'll live to see the next week or month.
I've thought about seeing someone but no amount therapy or meds can change the reality of the world.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I can't be Piano, because Piano replied to everyone, but I'd like to respond to people in this thread too. To be honest, I've often felt like I've wanted to post here several times, but my problems always paled in comparison to those sharing their troubles here. Either way, I've had this thread bookmarked for a while now (considering I struggled with, and still battle with, depression), and I'll offer whatever insight I can.
Have you tried calling the carrier itself? They'll probably say there's nothing they can do, but it's a solid first step.
No amount of therapy or meds can change the reality of the world, but it can change your perception of it. Let's be clear here: while what you perceive is very real (especially to you), it's not what others feel. In other words, the situation in Syria, while lamentable, horrible, and full of turmoil, is devastating for Syrians, it's definitely less so for those who live in Idaho.
So, I want you to precisely frame how you're feeling, especially as it's juxtaposed with others' reactions. You're anxious about the world ending, a proposition you agree is entirely out of your control. The likelihood of this (let's say, a gigantic meteor hitting Earth) occurring is, according to others, negligible. Do you think it's likely? Do you have evidence to support this argument? Is it a gut feeling?
Anyway, I agree: if we're in a literal zombie apocalypse, death's preferable to undeath. But we're not there. And we won't be. I do think you should talk to someone about why your latent fears have changed how you perceive the world.
It's not a competition, dude. Feel free to post when you're feeling down.
I don't really fear something unforeseen like a meteor. It's usually whatever is getting the most attention in the news or on GAF. The situation in Syria chief among them, I see the number of players involved, the amount of dangerous dick waving and the presence of two nuclear armed countries running separate air campaigns and I can't see this ending well for anyone. It's not a gut feeling it's me looking at a given situation and having hard time seeing anyway that things are going to be OK. I do try to rationalize away my fears, but that failes in the face of what I see as overwhelming evidence that those fears are fully justified.
I have no doubt my fears are irrational but to me the world seems to be getting worse by the day.
User 479360
Banned
I think I did once in the past, but it's been a while. There are two different carriers, one cable, one DSL, and I'm wary of switching in case my provider improves the speed in the future.
It's bugging me far more than it should. It's actually spurred me into wanting to move out. However, living on someone else's schedule and being treated like I'm 12 is getting hard/old.
The problem is that I'm almost needed here to help with disabled (more than me) family members, and I fear leaving for it'd almost be like abandonment.
Fuck dudes, my delusions are getting less creative. I'm starting to actually have those moments of doubts or I guess realizations where I think they might not come true. I'm starting to settle in my current life and I hate it.
I miss having my no fear killer instinct and not caring about other peoples feelings. I miss having more passion to make money than anyone else. I miss actually being able to say no to people.
I miss having my no fear killer instinct and not caring about other peoples feelings. I miss having more passion to make money than anyone else. I miss actually being able to say no to people.
I've had some good people take time to speak to me when I needed it in rough times, and as I've learned or become wiser over the years in better understanding what is actually helpful to other people, I try to pay it forward when I'm in the right mindset to actually be helpful.
Sometimes, I am selective in who I respond to when I feel it's an issue I may have a fairly good understanding of.
Piano has taught all of us, I feel, that while getting at the heart of some issues is important, people feeling like they're being heard and some positive re-direction, is equally, if not even more important sometimes.
The thread had been a massive "dump vent" in the past occasionally, where people sometimes just needed somewhere to "get things out", but it became worrisome when there just weren't enough people viewing and responding to others who were in fragile states and their well-being was hinged on that response.
Piano had a blanket way of responding briefly, fairly and meaningfully to everyone that I think all of us that want to help in the same manner could stand to take a page from.
There is no perfect way to go about this. What I feel matters most is whatever any of us do, we learn from each other, and learn when to be mindful of what it is doing to our well-being as well.
Beginning to think I won't hear back from that place about the job. It's fine if I don't I at least tried and I'll get other interviews and opportunities in the near future. Have a therapy session tomorrow and I got that Mind Over Mood book that Bagel suggested to me going to bring it with me and see if my therapist thinks.
User 479360
Banned
Sometimes I wonder if I really do have IBS. I can get an upset stomach minutes after eating, but stress makes it ten times worse and seems to be the culprit most of the time. Anxiety, for the most part.
Things are bugging me, and I constantly live in fear about going to Hell or losing a parent who's had health issues, and it paralyzes me. My stomach goes up and down (you know the feeling) constantly, and I feel sick. Like having the flu.
This isn't rare, and it usually just bugs my stomach, unless I eat.
Things are bugging me, and I constantly live in fear about going to Hell or losing a parent who's had health issues, and it paralyzes me. My stomach goes up and down (you know the feeling) constantly, and I feel sick. Like having the flu.
This isn't rare, and it usually just bugs my stomach, unless I eat.
Astral Dog
Member
The reality of the world is that you are alive and (probably) healthy , natural disasters will happen, there is always one, accidents, but something to end the world? that is unlikely.
Chances are you will be long gone before the world crumbles and dies, so dont worry about it
And please seek medication/teraphy, that sounds horrible to be worried about.
Excellent, excellent post!
Its valentine's day and im here alone again in a new year watching Korean dramas about relationships, wondering how much of a Tramadol overdose would hurt. Must be nice all those people out there with someone they love or embarking on a new first relationship. I never had the chance or even had an option being born the way i am. I cannot commit to suicide yet i cannot live, im in this inbetween of hate, pain and anger. My friend wants me to go go japan, i haven't bought the tickets yet but ive already put in the time off at work. i sort of want to just die in a plane crash but i dont want any other person to die except for me.
I wish i can just write him a beautiful letter detailing how much i care and love him and let him know that he is the only person in the world i care about, then i can finally commit myself to dying my own painless way. My friend is straight so nothing can go on between us.
Thinking of valentine's day, must be nice to have that special person holding you had in some romantic place. knowing that will never be me, i wonder why i choose to live as long as i have. I've been rejected so many times i wonder if it would be on my tombstone, its definitely been etched into my heart.
I wish i can just write him a beautiful letter detailing how much i care and love him and let him know that he is the only person in the world i care about, then i can finally commit myself to dying my own painless way. My friend is straight so nothing can go on between us.
Thinking of valentine's day, must be nice to have that special person holding you had in some romantic place. knowing that will never be me, i wonder why i choose to live as long as i have. I've been rejected so many times i wonder if it would be on my tombstone, its definitely been etched into my heart.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Mike you were not my valentine this year so it sucked.
I haven't left my house since last Wednesday and I don't want to again until this one. Outside world sucks.
Quick post here but after an incredibly rough January, things actually seem to be looking good for me. Zoloft seems to be doing good for me, sleeping patterns are back to normal, as of Thursday I now am in a relationship for the first time in nearly a year (that'll be difficult adjusting to), and I'm getting out more again. Y apologies if this comes off as me bragging at all, just it's nice to look forward to tomorrow again.
Look I don't know you so I'm going to make some assumptions. With that said: It's rough, and it might seem like this time it really is hopeless. But you've gotten through this before and you'll get through it this time. Open up to some of your other friends and tell them how you're feeling, it doesn't matter how well you know them it will make you feel better. They care, they just don't show it as often as you'd like but if they know that you're hurting they'll tell you exactly how much you mean to them.
Also fuck V-Day and fuck society. Don't let them tell you you need a relationship to be happy. I know it's easier said that done but accepting it in your rational mind while your emotional one is out of control is an easily achievable small victory that might make you feel better.
User 479360
Banned
I really want to experience being in a relationship and living with that person. I've never been that close with anyone and I hate it. I do it to myself, though, in some ways.
But what woman is going to want a guy who's living below the poverty line on disability, isn't able to work regularly and is overweight/hairy?
But what woman is going to want a guy who's living below the poverty line on disability, isn't able to work regularly and is overweight/hairy?
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Pretty much had a nervous breakdown today, which is mostly because aside from halloween, this is the one day of the year I can't stop thinking about my dead exgirlfriend.
I was also completely alone except for my dog.
My mother is home but she's tired and honestly I need her in the same room as me right now.
I know that feeling bro, although I've gone from potentially going on disability to having a job at a dispensiary close to my house.
I was also completely alone except for my dog.
My mother is home but she's tired and honestly I need her in the same room as me right now.
I know that feeling bro, although I've gone from potentially going on disability to having a job at a dispensiary close to my house.
Yup, the exact reason why I don't consider myself boyfriend material either. I don't know. It just sounds like an awkward first date. "Hey, I'm disabled, live with a lot of pain, am under the poverty line, can't go out and do shit with you and have no hopes of a better future! Want to be my boyfriend?"
I'm also in my mid-30s so let's face it. My best years in terms of looking hot are behind me. I surround myself with good friends and that has to be enough. Others can do the romance thing. At least I'll never have to suffer from a broken heart (or two or three).
User 479360
Banned
Sorry to hear that, guys. We've gotta' try and find an upside, though, I guess.
I can go out and do, but I don't like to too much and money worries me. I want to move into my own place, but $1100/month might not be enough. I'm used to living and eating pretty well, so it'll be a shock, but I think I need to do it.
I can go out and do, but I don't like to too much and money worries me. I want to move into my own place, but $1100/month might not be enough. I'm used to living and eating pretty well, so it'll be a shock, but I think I need to do it.
Thanks but I'm not go bother my friend on Valentine's Day to worry about me. People who can spend time with their SO on Valentine's Day shouldn't be bothered. Oven turned off all my lights and tv and taken 3 tramadol pills for the pain. I'll unfortunately wake tomorrow go to work and start my shitty life again and again.
Gotta love spending all of valentine's day in a haze of studying and stressing. Suppose it beats the alternative of having nothing at all to do : )
I never thought I'd say this but I'm super glad I don't have a girlfriend right now, cause there is absolutely no way in hell I'd be able to make time for her today with all that's going on in my life.
Date or no, GF/BF or no, happy St. Valentines day MH GAF! Try to stay strong <3
la flama blanca
Banned
Why not try a little something different? Mix it up in some way...start giving yourself very tiny goals that you'd feel proud about. Even at the very least maybe having a goal in that you give yourself a break from being so critical of yourself. And I don't say that in any condescending way, I've been really really brutal to myself in my mind these past few weeks, I know how that feels.
I wanted to also ask anyone here if they've had any experience with Prozac as I think I've finally reached a breaking point where I feel like I truly can't do this on my own with my OCD/Anxiety/Depression. I was taking Remeron 30MG and absolutely loved it for the weight gain(im too skinny), but gave me awful breath with the dry mouth. I know these drugs tend to do that which I'm also nervous about, but I have been feeling extra weird lately and kind of scared for my own well being.
I've been on Prozac for years. What do you want to know? I didn't have dry mouth as a side effect.
la flama blanca
Banned
What do you use it for and do you feel like it's worth taking/has been really beneficial for you?
I use it for depression. It works about as well as it's capable of working given my life circumstances. I personally take 20 mg but that's a fairly low dose because I don't like the side effects (the sexual being the worst).
BreezyLimbo
Banned
Is Prozac over the counter?
No, it's a prescription drug.
la flama blanca
Banned
Thanks. I just tried look for my prescription, but think I lost it, will try and get a new one. Probably gonna whip out my CBT book that I bought and never read to practice some shit.
Thanks for the advice. I don't have much info on Prozac just know it doesn't work on me. As for what you said before small goals don't help because in the larger picture I failed at life and everything. I'd probably even fail at committing suicide and end up messed up.
You can't think that though. I know it's hard, but you have to realize that it's always possible to bounce back, even from rock bottom. There is no point in life where you've "failed" at life, or even "succeded", just better and worse parts.
It's not easy. Not in the slightest, and no one is saying setting goals will suddenly make your life better, or even work at all. But honestly, it beats the alternative.
You got this! PM me any time of you want to talk or whatever : )
la flama blanca
Banned
Yeah, well you're preaching to the choir here on that failed at life and everything front. I know exactly how that feels as I now have to deal with the fact that I have a federal criminal record to forever remind me that I fucked up and abused every good opportunity people worked hard for. I know that very ultimate looking up at life from the bottom feeling that you're experiencing, but you need to throw yourself in situations that give you a really good perspective on life. The only reason why I don't commit suicide myself is that there is a portion of issues in my life that stem from an incident where I saved my sister from trying to kill herself and I know how that feels for others. She was determined to die and she sounded like how you sound now, but you know what, after VERY LONG and extensive therapy, she turned things around and is someone I look up to. She ultimately chose life because of a lot of the experiences she was exposed to by people in situations much worse than hers. And I know this sentiment can sometimes make you feel worse like "shit, I definitely dont have it as bad as them and so that makes me more horrible", but the realization you need is that you still have plenty of opportunity and time to find some kind of ease in your life. Change requires a spark, you need to find your spark and maybe need to start looking for it in unconventional ways or things you haven't thought of. My other sister who suffers from being bipolar has the same kind of very cynical and defeating thinking and it's been incredibly tough to help her for a while, but again, she seems to have struggled her way into finding what works for her and taking some chances(even though she seemed to have been distraught over the results of some of those circumstances) to find something that works. Anyway, I have to admit I feel a bit weird again giving advice to someone that I should actually be using myself, but I really do hope you can overcome this barrier.
This is my first post here, I don't feel 100% comfortable talking about super personal issues on a public forum, but it's been very nice and helpful reading some pages in this thread , and I just wanted to say thanks for sharing, for those of you who are. If nothing else , it's good to know I'm not alone.
I will say this however, I've checked myself into counseling, and having someone to talk with has helped me out a lot.
Also, not doing any drugs (weed , alcohol ) so my mind can rebalance and isn't so hazy. ( 1 week totally sober so far)
For me it got worse once weed was legalized (I'm from Oregon) and it felt like a sanction - that I could just smoke as much as I want, it's legal and there aren't any "droughts" anymore, where your hookups are out, the store always has more. I've smoked everyday since it became legal. And it didn't help me at all. It just made everything worse and compounded the issues I already had.
I don't know if this applies to anyone else, but self medication has done nothing but make all my problems worse.
Gonna go back to lurking now.
I will say this however, I've checked myself into counseling, and having someone to talk with has helped me out a lot.
Also, not doing any drugs (weed , alcohol ) so my mind can rebalance and isn't so hazy. ( 1 week totally sober so far)
For me it got worse once weed was legalized (I'm from Oregon) and it felt like a sanction - that I could just smoke as much as I want, it's legal and there aren't any "droughts" anymore, where your hookups are out, the store always has more. I've smoked everyday since it became legal. And it didn't help me at all. It just made everything worse and compounded the issues I already had.
I don't know if this applies to anyone else, but self medication has done nothing but make all my problems worse.
Gonna go back to lurking now.
I feel like the past week has been one of the most important weeks in my life.
Nothing major has happened to me, but when it comes to really sitting down, reflecting on my life, my perspectives changing and admitting hard truths about who I am, as well as for what I believe will happen to me in the future and what I need to do immediately in my life this has been pretty big.
Not that all of it is remotely positive.
Nothing major has happened to me, but when it comes to really sitting down, reflecting on my life, my perspectives changing and admitting hard truths about who I am, as well as for what I believe will happen to me in the future and what I need to do immediately in my life this has been pretty big.
Not that all of it is remotely positive.
I feel for all you guys who are having it difficult in life right now. I'm in a bit of a rough spot as well. At times it's fine, but I've been having some stomach problems for the last four months and it's been seriously damaging me mentally. The problem is it's difficult to determine what the issue is. It could be anything from a stress-related functional thing that could be improved, to as bad as stomach cancer. The latter is very uncommon in my young age, but the mere thought of it potentially being that and knowing every day that passes without it being diagnosed as such is decreasing my chances of survival.
Since I'm so young and there is little in terms of alarm symptoms (except me being pretty exhausted most of the time, which could be a mental thing) doctors haven't been willing to give me the kind of thorough investigation that would exclude serious illnesses. So I'm pretty stuck being miserable right now, with long waits whenever you want new appointments. If it is a stress thing then my constant fear of cancer and death is obviously not helping getting rid of my stomach problems; they're not going away, that's for sure.
Just wanted to get that off my chest. :/
Since I'm so young and there is little in terms of alarm symptoms (except me being pretty exhausted most of the time, which could be a mental thing) doctors haven't been willing to give me the kind of thorough investigation that would exclude serious illnesses. So I'm pretty stuck being miserable right now, with long waits whenever you want new appointments. If it is a stress thing then my constant fear of cancer and death is obviously not helping getting rid of my stomach problems; they're not going away, that's for sure.
Just wanted to get that off my chest. :/
Teriyaki Blues
Member
Sending you a PM, TheJoRu.
Booker Dewitt
Member
Well, my mom actually looked into the technical school and told me it didn't look like a great option, between distance, alumni experiences and cost. Luckily one of my coworkers told me about a school in my town that offers the same program so I applied yesterday.
Valentines day was just another day off for me. First time in five years I didn't have to spend it watching a bunch of couples enjoying a movie. I was doing fine until my roommates girlfriend came over and they started making dinner, wanted to go in my room but it's completely bare besides a mattress. I was worried that they would recognize that I would be wallowing the dark and they might feel bad about forcing me out of the living room so I stayed there. I was making it, smoking a cigarette outside when it was getting rougher to handle... And then one of my neighbors pulled up. He had a bouquet with him and told me how much he loved vday. That set me off. Caught myself pressing my head against the glass sliding before anyone else did. Regained composure and fell asleep on the couch not long afterwards.
But hey, I tried wine for the first time yesterday and this girl I matched on tinder and haven't been able to meet is still messaging me so cool. She seems pretty awesome since one of our first exchanges devolved into a extended joke about Joseph McCarthy.
Valentines day was just another day off for me. First time in five years I didn't have to spend it watching a bunch of couples enjoying a movie. I was doing fine until my roommates girlfriend came over and they started making dinner, wanted to go in my room but it's completely bare besides a mattress. I was worried that they would recognize that I would be wallowing the dark and they might feel bad about forcing me out of the living room so I stayed there. I was making it, smoking a cigarette outside when it was getting rougher to handle... And then one of my neighbors pulled up. He had a bouquet with him and told me how much he loved vday. That set me off. Caught myself pressing my head against the glass sliding before anyone else did. Regained composure and fell asleep on the couch not long afterwards.
But hey, I tried wine for the first time yesterday and this girl I matched on tinder and haven't been able to meet is still messaging me so cool. She seems pretty awesome since one of our first exchanges devolved into a extended joke about Joseph McCarthy.
User 479360
Banned
Sorry to hear about your stomach issues. I hope things are okay, and it's likely/hopeful that it's just anxiety.
I have bad stomach issues (IBS, pains) because of anxiety. I also have a lining in my stomach that they normally don't see until people are 70 or so. It's linked to stomach cancer, but not until that age.
They found it in a colonoscopy, but then did tests and found that the bacteria isn't there anymore. The lining is, but what causes it isn't.
I was prescribed Prozac just recently, but I don't have benefits yet so I haven't filled it. My benefits when I get them, will only pay for the basic generic brand.
Prozac, per month, is $66, which is nuts. I tried it years ago, and it was $50/month then. Only for 3 weeks though, and it didn't work for me.
la flama blanca
Banned
Got a call from my brother today. He is in a mental hospital in Philly, has been suffering panic attacks and hallucinations since Friday. Checked himself in(thank Bob). He is now the final sibling among four that has been admitted to mental hospital, so we're gonna truly welcome him to the family when we see him. I say this jokingly only because I'm actually quite happy he may have the opportunity to address all the shit we've experienced growing up, having avoided and acknowledged any treatment along the way. He's paranoid he may be exhibiting schizophrenia which my Mom has, but I don't think any of what happened along with his response qualifies.
Try to develop an automatic deeper, slower breathing technique on your own time. In through nose, out through mouth/nose. You'll get better at it in a way where you can do it while working even, without it being obvious, and use it as a tool to help ride out your anxiety. It really does help calm the body and mind.
I actually was focusing on calm breathing, and I was breathing calmly pretty much the whole time. It just didn't help though. Pretty much all of the anxiety was mental (with the one exception of mild sweating). I just felt entirely overwhelmed.
Thank you for the advice though. I do appreciate it.
- Status